Looking for advice?

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nandc

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Hello I'm new here :wave:

The reason I came to this site is because I have fallen in love with a deaf guy. I am hearing myself. I have known him for 6 months now and we were only in a relationship for the first month we knew each other. Since then we've just been friends. Last month I told him that I fell in love with him and he told me that he loved me too but he didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Sometimes I wonder if it is because I do not know sign language (yet - I am willing to learn for him) and sometimes it is harder for us to communicate.

Not only would we be a Deaf/hearing couple, but we would also be interracial (he is black and I am white). Sometimes I feel like we have too much stacked against us to work. But I am madly in love with him. I was wondering if anyone here would have any advice for me?
 
If someone tells you they love you, but don't want a relationship, they are probably trying to let you down easily.
 
Bottesini said:
If someone tells you they love you, but don't want a relationship, they are probably trying to let you down easily.
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Agreed, This is how I tell women I truly don't wanna be with to try and be nice. Even though Its confusing, I just can't bring myself to say "no" and possibly hurt another's feelings xD
 
nandc said:
Hello I'm new here :wave:

The reason I came to this site is because I have fallen in love with a deaf guy. I am hearing myself. I have known him for 6 months now and we were only in a relationship for the first month we knew each other. Since then we've just been friends. Last month I told him that I fell in love with him and he told me that he loved me too but he didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Sometimes I wonder if it is because I do not know sign language (yet - I am willing to learn for him) and sometimes it is harder for us to communicate.

Not only would we be a Deaf/hearing couple, but we would also be interracial (he is black and I am white). Sometimes I feel like we have too much stacked against us to work. But I am madly in love with him. I was wondering if anyone here would have any advice for me?
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Not sure if I quoted that right, still learning the ins and outs of this site. I totally know how you feel, hearing girl here dating a Deaf man. I think alot of things are lost in the communication process, my boyfriend tells me I am "auditory dependent" which means as a hearing person you are used to recognizing voice tones to show emotions but because you can't hear his tone of voice it's hard to judge what he means, and instead try to learn to recognize facial expressions.
Telling you he loves you is a different sign from saying he has fallen in love with you. You can love and cherish someone and still not want a relationship with them. I would ask for clarification, that is what usually works for me. Just say, ASL is my second language and I don't understand what you mean. Will you explain? Then ask why? Good luck :hmm:
 
just shag'em and get it over with :cool2:
 
nandc said:
yes, I'm new to alldeaf.com and also the deaf community as a whole. I have a new group of friends that are deaf that I met about 6 months ago.
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awesome that you broke the record to get rid of one post. :)
 
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