Lonely & discouraged

TrippyMoods22

TrippyMoods22

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I feel like it's futile to try to communicate with hearing people; because no matter how much i tell them, they won't understand how important it is to me to feel included. When i ask them to repeat and they say "never mind" my heart sinks and i feel cut off from the group.. Is it just me?
 
TrippyMoods22 said:
I feel like it's futile to try to communicate with hearing people; because no matter how much i tell them, they won't understand how important it is to me to feel included. When i ask them to repeat and they say "never mind" my heart sinks and i feel cut off from the group.. Is it just me?
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My sister is deaf, but we're all hearing. I know a sometimes the family will have a conversation and forget to sign to/include her. It's not that we mean to do it on purpose, it's just that we forget to give the extra effort.

It's ok to feel discouraged, but don't give up on us hearing people. A lot of us genuinely care and want to talk with the deaf, but we struggle also to make sure that we're communicating with you correctly.

Just keep trying. We're stupid :D
 
Normal feeling and common occurrence. Happens to me all the time. You will find that one of the biggest gripes of Deaf is when Hearing people say "nevermind, it's nothing" etc.
 
You are not alone in feeling this way. Most, if not all, d/Deaf people have faced this plight, but this is why I am always excited to find opportunities to get hearing people to become more patient towards d/Deaf people and people with disabilities in general. With today's technology, it makes communication with hearing people more easier than ever.
 
There are two words that hearing people have no idea how it sound to deaf or hoh person and they're " "never mind!" It can made you feel that you're not
importance enough to take the time to repeat what was said. Then people wonder why you're not trying to be a part of the group! I think some hearing people are not very smart so try not let them get to you. There are hearing people do not mind taking their time talking to you. I was at the store today and I wanted to buy a marble bagel and a guy asked me if I could not made up my mind . I told him the kind I wanted was gone and he told a place to buy good bagel called 'Katz' . I could not understand the name and he wrote it down for me. It was nice to met a person that was not turned off my 'hoh accent' . Just having one stranger treat as equal can made you forget all the jerks out there ! The guy in the store could had said to
"Never mind!" and walk away. Pleases don't let these get to you , they're not worth it !
 
Thank you, everyone!! All of your kind words helped me to feel better :) it's always great to be reminded that i'm not alone. I needed this. :3
 
Never let em see you sweat, trippymoods...
keep learning sign, what the hearie do they will do...
Your not alone, pm me any time man...
Sign will....(refer to my sig)..
 
That is true..
You rock, hoichi. :3
i'll message you when i wake, as i am fading in and out of sleep atm
 
TrippyMoods22 said:
I feel like it's futile to try to communicate with hearing people; because no matter how much i tell them, they won't understand how important it is to me to feel included. When i ask them to repeat and they say "never mind" my heart sinks and i feel cut off from the group.. Is it just me?
Click to expand...

I wish I could speak for all hearing people and apologize for our behaviour. I am hearing and as I look more and more into finding information and classes or even asl movies it is unbelievable how little there is to find. I can't understand why everyone is not thought to use both speech and asl simultaneously. You. Should never have to try and change yourself or feel lonely because hearies can't take the time to include you. Keep your spirits up I promise we aren't all that bad.
 
I go through this all the time!

When I was younger, I often grew up together with my siblings and eight cousins... so sometimes I felt left out because I couldn't always follow what was being said.

Now, I can understand my cousins better as they know to face me or tap my shoulder if they need my attention.

As for my best friend, she's a hearie, and sometimes says "never mind". Drives me mad, but I've learned to just let it go when people say it. Like ok, maybe it's not very important and just shrug it off.

However I have three other friends who are deaf, two wears C.I's, the other is just HOH, and I have never really heard a "never mind" at all so it's kind of funny.
 
Feel free to bring it to their attention a little more assertively. Try "say that again" or "repeat that last part" instead of asking what they said. If they still brush it off, say something like, "I would like to be included in the conversation so please say that again."

It's frustrating to have to do, but like you said, a lot of hearies don't realize that they are excluding/isolating you. I try my best to include everybody in the room but still slip up sometimes and only sign or only use my voice.
 
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