Let me tell you a story!

[Jiro]

He was there when my Mother was too bossy around me. He wasn't doing nothing to help me. He kept quiet, sat there and watch t.v. He never mean to me. He was nice, friendly, and wonderful father.

I lived with my father and my mother. They had been married for many years. My father got killed by explosion at Oil Company in Texas on April 22, 1986. I lost my father when I was 21 years old.

omfg! so sorry to hear that....

 

[sunflowergal]

I think your mother was abusive to you by depriving from the socialization that is so valuable to a child's development. Take care of yourself and try to do something ever day that forces you to interact with new people. You will meet some friends. It may feel really bad now, but it will be better soon. Would you consider seeing a therapist? I think it would really help you.

My Mother can't tell me what to do anymore. I am not going to listen to her anymore. She knew it. My husband told me not to worry about what she said. I am not afraid of her anymore when I am with my husband.

I don't need to see a therapist. I already explained everything to my husband. He comfort me and he support me. He is good husband to me. He did took me to visited deaf and hoh people at deaf picnic and deaf club when we were newly married. We went to trip in different town for few years ago. We had a good time there. He taught me how to pay the bills like electric, water, dish network, cell phone, and other etcs. I learned how to cook from cookbooks by myself.

 

[sunflowergal]

omfg! so sorry to hear that....

Thank you!

That's where he worked at Oil Company. Yeah, My father had burn over 90 to 95 percent of his body but he didn't make it. I never saw his body but they won't let me see him at the hospital. My Mother already saw his body. I missed him so much. He is rest at peace.

 

[Brian]

ArkieGal, I am so sorry that you had to go through that kind of childhood with your mother.

I know/have heard of several deaf people with experiences similar to yours.

 

[sunflowergal]

ArkieGal, I am so sorry that you had to go through that kind of childhood with your mother.

I know/have heard of several deaf people with experiences similar to yours.

I had sad memories. I had a hard time to deal with it.

 

[sarasf]

My Mother can't tell me what to do anymore. I am not going to listen to her anymore. She knew it. My husband told me not to worry about what she said. I am not afraid of her anymore when I am with my husband.

I don't need to see a therapist. I already explained everything to my husband. He comfort me and he support me. He is good husband to me. He did took me to visited deaf and hoh people at deaf picnic and deaf club when we were newly married. We went to trip in different town for few years ago. We had a good time there. He taught me how to pay the bills like electric, water, dish network, cell phone, and other etcs. I learned how to cook from cookbooks by myself.

I am glad that you have a loving, supportive husband who has helped teach you to be independent. Have you thought about telling your mom how you feel about her?

 

[sunflowergal]

I am glad that you have a loving, supportive husband who has helped teach you to be independent. Have you thought about telling your mom how you feel about her?

No, I never tell her how I feel about her. Because I don't want her to know how I feel about her. I don't want her to get mad at me or hurt me if I said something bad things to her. That's what I was afraid of her. I was newly married and I wanted to tell her how I feel about her but I decided not do it then I left her home.

Do you want me to tell you how I feel about her?

 

[pek1]

No, I never tell her how I feel about her. Because I don't want her to know how I feel about her. I don't want her to get mad at me or hurt me if I said something bad things to her. That's what I was afraid of her. I was newly married and I wanted to tell her how I feel about her but I decided not do it then I left her home.

Do you want me to tell you how I feel about her?

ArkieGal,

No, I don't believe telling your mother anything would be beneficial, as she may not even want to listen to you. Apparently, some of your loved ones knew what was going on and chose not to help you all these growing up years. That is unfortunate. However, I do see a sign that you need to have some counseling and not from your husband. It will take you years to get over this, forgive your mother and start your life the way you want it. You have a husband and daughter that loves you, which is important. However, reading through all your comments, you seem to be guilt-ridden. That is not good for you. Just because you have relatives isn't saying that a rule book tells you that you must socialize with them. They didn't help you when you needed help so now, you're looking for help. I hear you, ArkieGal and believe you.

Again, you are under no obligation to contact your mother for any reason, especially during the Christmas time of year. You still have to honor her, but not at the expense of putting your mental and emotional well-being in jeapardy. You have a family now that loves and supports you, which is all the reason why you should spend it with them, not your relatives. Will your relatives feel left out in the cold because of this? Maybe, maybe not. It's not your concern. Your concern is for your family, the ones that love you and see you everyday, not about the relatives that have treated you like trash.

Lastly, if anyone questions you about this or gives you a hard time about it, tell them pek1 (me) from alldeaf.com gave you permission to care about your family and not include the relatives. Feel free to have them contact me if you'd like.

Now, you and your husband and daughter need to have a Merry Christmas together . . . just the three of you. If you have other children involved, include them. However, you don't have to include the relatives.

 

[sunflowergal]

ArkieGal,

No, I don't believe telling your mother anything would be beneficial, as she may not even want to listen to you. Apparently, some of your loved ones knew what was going on and chose not to help you all these growing up years. That is unfortunate. However, I do see a sign that you need to have some counseling and not from your husband. It will take you years to get over this, forgive your mother and start your life the way you want it. You have a husband and daughter that loves you, which is important. However, reading through all your comments, you seem to be guilt-ridden. That is not good for you. Just because you have relatives isn't saying that a rule book tells you that you must socialize with them. They didn't help you when you needed help so now, you're looking for help. I hear you, ArkieGal and believe you.

Again, you are under no obligation to contact your mother for any reason, especially during the Christmas time of year. You still have to honor her, but not at the expense of putting your mental and emotional well-being in jeapardy. You have a family now that loves and supports you, which is all the reason why you should spend it with them, not your relatives. Will your relatives feel left out in the cold because of this? Maybe, maybe not. It's not your concern. Your concern is for your family, the ones that love you and see you everyday, not about the relatives that have treated you like trash.

Lastly, if anyone questions you about this or gives you a hard time about it, tell them pek1 (me) from alldeaf.com gave you permission to care about your family and not include the relatives. Feel free to have them contact me if you'd like.

Now, you and your husband and daughter need to have a Merry Christmas together . . . just the three of you. If you have other children involved, include them. However, you don't have to include the relatives.

That's true. My Mother never wants to listen to me. I'm trying to forget about my past with her. Now, I 'm lucky to have a loving husband and sweet daughter who loves me. I am going to enjoy to spend time with my husband and daughter on Christmas time.

Pek1, I understand you better. Thank you!

 

[sunflowergal]

Hey, guys & gals, Thank you for your words. I appreicate it.

 

[sarasf]

No, I never tell her how I feel about her. Because I don't want her to know how I feel about her. I don't want her to get mad at me or hurt me if I said something bad things to her. That's what I was afraid of her. I was newly married and I wanted to tell her how I feel about her but I decided not do it then I left her home.

Do you want me to tell you how I feel about her?

She still has a very powerful hold on you.

I was very angry with my parents, so I moved 3,000 miles away and found a great therapist. I wrote my parents a letter saying that I needed time away from the family and would contact them when I was ready. Two years later, with weekly therapy, I reconnected with them with a new confidence that allowed me to respond to them as an adult. I learned how to stand up for myself and set boundries.

I agree that you should take care of yourself and enjoy Christmas with your husband and daughter.

 

[pek1]

That's true. My Mother never wants to listen to me. I'm trying to forget about my past with her. Now, I 'm lucky to have a loving husband and sweet daughter who loves me. I am going to enjoy to spend time with my husband and daughter on Christmas time.

Pek1, I understand you better. Thank you!

You are very welcome, ArkieGal!