kind of confused..

coolgirlspyer90

coolgirlspyer90

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this is like between me and my best friend whose also deaf, but i'm like kind of confused in the situation..

i'll explain how we met first then maybe the story will become understanding.

I met him when i was in elementary school, i was in the 2nd grade, he was in the 5th grade. so we were about 2-3 years apart in age. We became best friends pretty fast. We would hang out alot, go swimming with our friends who are deaf, camping with a deaf community, and we would go to different schools together. (I used to go to St. Rita's school for the deaf for half of my 4th grade) but i started going to hearing schools until the 2nd semester of my 4th grade. But he and I still hang out. Also, another friend of ours likes my best guy friend. She is about 4 years apart from my best guy friend, and she really likes him..and i knew that since i met her when i was young. But then, up until a few weeks ago i started to like him, and he says he likes me too. But then he wants to keep it a secret because of our friend liking him alot and he says hes trying to protect me. Now i don't know if turning him down on that problem was a good idea. Because in some ways i still like him but i don't really want to keep it a secret. Whenever i talk to her, shes always saying: "you find guys your age to date. not older." in that way, she is still kind of telling me that she likes him too. I'm not quite sure how to handle this situation. But with my best guy friend telling me that hes trying to protect me kind of worries about me about our friend who likes him too.. but i don't really want to keep this a secret.
 
Sounds like he doesn't want to tell her because he doesn't mind having two girls like him.

I would say he does not want to be your serious boyfriend.
 
He's playing you girl. He's not serious about you. Walk away from him, then you will know his true colours, when you are not in his life anymore. If he truly likes you then he will come after you, he won't if he is not genuine towards you.
 
"Best way out is always through" - Helen Keller
It might be hard or embarrassing , but confrontation is the best way out ... you three have to set down and talk about it !
 
How old are you may I ask? This matters because it's more difficult to give advice without knowing whether you're a kid, adolescent or an adult.

Whenever i talk to her, shes always saying: "you find guys your age to date. not older."
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Are you sure that this isn't her way of telling you to back off? A 3 year age gap is nothing... If anything, it's probably a typical age gap. Heck, I know of people who have dated people 7 years older, it's nothing... From what you've said, I do not see any reasonable logic behind her statement, unless you're 15 and he's 18 or something. But once you're 18 or over, 3 years is nothing.

If you're both serious about each other and if a relationship is more important to you both, then perhaps you should both be honest about it to your other friend. Honesty is the best policy, but you should have a good level of trust in this "guy friend" before you go any further. Otherwise you risk losing a friend for nothing. If you tell him this and if he still seems very reluctant to let the "secret" out, then that could perhaps indicate a problem. Unfortunately this is one of those situations where it's likely that somebody will get hurt. However, IF this guy really does want you, and if you want him, then there's only one answer. Otherwise you will be unhappy and he will be unhappy. Meanwhile, your girl / friend will still be chasing after this guy even though it's most likely pointless.

That would be how I'd approach the situation. That said though, there's some people who value friends more than partners. Many have the mentality that friends are for life, where as boyfriends/girlfriends are replaceable. Personally though, I think that mentality is really flawed if you're seeking or hoping for a long term relationship.
 
ExR, I'm 17 years old. he's 20 years old. he's currently a freshman in college, I'm a junior in high school
 
your 17, and he is 20, wait till you are 18, and legal(I know it sounds corny and stupid, but it more of a protection of him and yourself.). Then tell him he has a choice, either he wants you or he trying to play you. Also is he going around trying to be single or is he trying to date other women?
 
I think she just turned 17 because she is not a Senior yet. I hope he is smart enough to back off until she finish high school. I dated older guy in high school. I turned 18 before my Senior year... Be careful, some guys (especially older ones) only care about themselves and do not have any concern for you or your education. The guy I dated tend to know how to put guilt trips on me.
 
nyyankees154 said:
your 17, and he is 20, wait till you are 18, and legal(I know it sounds corny and stupid, but it more of a protection of him and yourself.). Then tell him he has a choice, either he wants you or he trying to play you. Also is he going around trying to be single or is he trying to date other women?
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depend on state. Most common, if 17 and anyone who is 20 yrs or under, it's okay thru girl's parents approve.
 
I was talking to my friends. they said for high school there is a "rule" of how old the person you like needs to be. they said the age limit is either your age or a year older. but my friend whose in the drumline is my age and is dating a college freshman. I don't really seem to understand why. the guy I like, we have been friends since I was in the 2nd grade. one of my hearing friends says I should date him, but then my frie ds said I shouldn't because he's 20. my parents are even 3 years apart. they have no problem with me dating him. they like my guy friend. and they kind of gave me a little push into dating my guy friend. so did his parents. I guess both of us ( me and him) are kind of stubborn to admit we like each other.
 
coolgirlspyer90 said:
I was talking to my friends. they said for high school there is a "rule" of how old the person you like needs to be. they said the age limit is either your age or a year older. but my friend whose in the drumline is my age and is dating a college freshman. I don't really seem to understand why. the guy I like, we have been friends since I was in the 2nd grade. one of my hearing friends says I should date him, but then my frie ds said I shouldn't because he's 20. my parents are even 3 years apart. they have no problem with me dating him. they like my guy friend. and they kind of gave me a little push into dating my guy friend. so did his parents. I guess both of us ( me and him) are kind of stubborn to admit we like each other.
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From my own personal experience with my own mistakes with dating someone who was 21 while I was 16, it is best to wait until you are 18. Pls enjoy high school without worrrying about this guy. My suggestion is to keep the friendship and hold off the romance until you are older. Your choice.
 
Let this guy focus on his studies this year. If he makes good grades and if you decide to attend the same college, then he will be worthy of your attentions. Your senior year is supposed to be fun. There must be some guys worth dating in your school. Enjoy!
 
my mom was 16 almost 17 when she met my dad when she become a senior in h.s old days was dfiferent.. years ago ;) but today I think girls are smart enought o wait til they are 18 but few unforuantely didn't wait.. cuz i know few teens have kids probably at 14 to 16.. yep here in california and I know one special h.s for teens who can't finish regular h.s due to pregnancy it's near my work :roll: which didn't surprise me tho.. :) but my parents was smart enough to wait 5 years after they got married to have me :P cuz mom was 20 when she married my dad so.. :P

and I didn't get married at all and I'm 32.. I'm glad i don't even get married due to ecomony and problems with $$ so I am better off have to wait.. ;) til I find right guy or so lol :D
 
there's a world of difference between a college freshman and a junior in high school. the age difference is actually a bigger gap when you are 17 and 20 because you haven't had any real life experience yet. once you get thru college then any age will do for dating.
get a dart board with 2 sets of darts . one for "He Loves Me" and one for "He Loves Me Not". kisser hits count higher
 
[off-topic]

OMG, PowerOn!! I love your avatar. It's bright and super cute....much better than Jiro's crappy, monotone, and grouchy avatar. ^_^
 
eh, I never dated anyone in high school until college. I think it's better to wait until college when you'll meet more mature guys than those lame and immature HS.

But if you're still yearning for him and want to be with him....just wait, and of course, I think you need to talk to your girl-friend as well about this. Good luck with this situation! :) <3
 
sheila022 said:
eh, I never dated anyone in high school until college. I think it's better to wait until college when you'll meet more mature guys than those lame and immature HS.
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:laugh2: Ironic. I thought the same thing when I was 18 and dating a 21 year old. But I broke it off after her immaturity showed :shock:
 
DDU said:
there's a world of difference between a college freshman and a junior in high school. the age difference is actually a bigger gap when you are 17 and 20 because you haven't had any real life experience yet. once you get thru college then any age will do for dating.
get a dart board with 2 sets of darts . one for "He Loves Me" and one for "He Loves Me Not". kisser hits count higher
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:gpost:
 
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