I'm hearing, learning ASL, and am a bit confused...

[ChasingRainbows]

Before I start I would like to state that I am being genuine, and I am not trying to offend anyone or step on toes.
So I recently signed up for online ASL courses. It's harder than I though it would be. I thought it was mainly about the signs alone (I'm not deaf so I had no way of knowing). Finding out that there is a lot more to it led me to seeking out deaf websites and deaf/HoH people to talk to and make friends with (I don't just seek out deaf people when I want to make friends by the way. I actually meet the majority of my hearing friends online, and that's where I met my fiancé).
I've gotten the impression that a good chunk of deaf/HoH people are not receptive to Hearing people "butting in" to their community, despite good intentions and honest questions. This is based on my personal experience as well as several posts I have seen on here.
I am wanting to become fluent in ASL so that I could work with deaf or HoH kids in the future. With signs being only part of it, how can one learn about the deaf community and culture if they feel unwelcome or like they are doing something they shouldn't be by wanting to learn.
I'm really wanting to become familiar with every aspect of the deaf community, but I'm wondering if it is worth the time, money, and energy that would be spent on ASL if I am unable to learn about the social part of it.
Is what I've said the general consensus of the deaf, about hearing people wanting to learn about the deaf community and culture?

By the way, I am not "using" the deaf for my education. I am genuinely interested.

 

[tuatara]

With signs being only part of it, how can one learn about the deaf community and culture if they feel unwelcome or like they are doing something they shouldn't be by wanting to learn.

By paying attention. Start by reading posts here. And books on Deaf history and culture. And studying your ASL. And when you're ready to contribute, keep in the front of your mind that there will be things you don't understand, and try to let that make you extra respectful. Basically remember that you are a guest in a culture that is new to you.

I'm really wanting to become familiar with every aspect of the deaf community, but I'm wondering if it is worth the time, money, and energy that would be spent on ASL if I am unable to learn about the social part of it.

It depends on how much you're really wanting it. There *will* be rough spots. If your passion is enough to get you through those, and you continue to try your best at respectfully seeking this education, then maybe yes. If you're mainly feeling pessimistic, resentful, and put upon, then I would guess no.

Is what I've said the general consensus of the deaf, about hearing people wanting to learn about the deaf community and culture?

What makes you think there would be a general consensus of the deaf?

 

[ChasingRainbows]

By paying attention. Start by reading posts here. And books on Deaf history and culture. And studying your ASL. And when you're ready to contribute, keep in the front of your mind that there will be things you don't understand, and try to let that make you extra respectful. Basically remember that you are a guest in a culture that is new to you.



It depends on how much you're really wanting it. There *will* be rough spots. If your passion is enough to get you through those, and you continue to try your best at respectfully seeking this education, then maybe yes. If you're mainly feeling pessimistic, resentful, and put upon, then I would guess no.



What makes you think there would be a general consensus of the deaf?

I meant a consensus on deaf forums.

I do want to learn. I am not a pessimist or anything, but I do get discouraged if I'm really excited about learning about something and I hit a road block.

In my ASL courses I have 3 books that go along with it (I can't remember the titles), but I do better learning from people. I have been reading alot of the posts here which is why I posted this thread. It was based on a lot of what I've read.
I like to go on forums to learn more about what I am interested in. I go on several animal specific ones, as well as a couple health related ones for health issues that I have.
I am still planning on reading my ASL books.

 

[tuatara]

I meant a consensus on deaf forums.

I still have the same question. You're addressing a group of individuals.

I do want to learn. I am not a pessimist or anything, but I do get discouraged if I'm really excited about learning about something and I hit a road block.

I'm the same way. There very likely will be some road blocks. How you deal with them is part of the process.

I am still planning on reading my ASL books.

That's good. For subjects as massive as ASL and Deaf Culture, I would try to learn from as many sources as possible. Classes, library books, online resources, actual people, even some stuff out of your own head.

 

[ChasingRainbows]

I still have the same question. You're addressing a group of individuals.



I'm the same way. There very likely will be some road blocks. How you deal with them is part of the process.



That's good. For subjects as massive as ASL and Deaf Culture, I would try to learn from as many sources as possible. Classes, library books, online resources, actual people, even some stuff out of your own head.

True. But a lot of time a group of individuals who share a common factor often share a similar opinion in regards to what links them. I'm not saying that is always the case, but I've seen it happen before. I'm not saying I'm right or you're wrong, I am just saying my thought behind that sentence.

In addition to my books, I am also looking to make deaf friends in my area. I have some first-hand experience with HoH people. My aunt is extremely hard of hearing. She had hearings aids up until a few years ago when she got the cochlear implants. My dad is also HoH. He is completely deaf in one ear and HoH in the other.

Even if I don't end up working with deaf or HoH kids, it's still something I want to learn about. I want to teach my kids ASL from birth and I want them to feel comfortable around everyone even if they are "different" (for lack of a better word) than them.
When I was 12 I was at youth group (a church thing that would meet once a week), and a deaf girl walked in with her interpreter. No one talked to her and everyone stared at her. I went home and started looking up signs so I could talk to her the next week. She wound up not coming back and I felt bad that I wasn't able to talk to her the week that she was there and that she probably thought that no one wanted to talk to her when in reality, I did, but I didn't know how to. I never forgot that.

If anything I have typed so far is worded in a way that is offensive, I apologize. I am at work and am typing fast.

 

[tuatara]

True. But a lot of time a group of individuals who share a common factor often share a similar opinion in regards to what links them. I'm not saying that is always the case, but I've seen it happen before. I'm not saying I'm right or you're wrong, I am just saying my thought behind that sentence.

Got it. I think you'll find some diversity here with regard to the issue you brought up.

 

[Hotaru]

Rainbows, I am hearing and learning ASL, also. In my experience the Deaf community has been very friendly and welcoming. It is going to be different everywhere, but have you gone out much to try using your ASL skills in real life (not just online)?

There are places for people who are immersed in the culture and places for people who are wanting to learn. If a hearing person goes to a Deaf event where Deaf folk are trying to socialize and catch up with friends, they will probably not be received well if they come in with "My... name... Blah... your... name... what?"

That's butting in.

But depending where you live, maybe you can find group meetups or ASL events that embrace beginning signers and people interested in learning more of Deaf culture. Going to a local ASL group helped my signing more than hours and hours of studying online. Also, everyone was VERY nice. I was nervous before I went, too, because my signing wasn't very good. But you'll never learn if you don't try. How about you put yourself out there and see what happens?

 

[Reba]

I'm hearing and learned most of my ASL pre-internet but I have taken advantage of on-line sources to continue my signing and interpreting learning.

When I started out in my learning process, I read all I could about Deaf culture and history. I read as many biographies and autobiographies about deaf people that I could find.

One thing I've noticed about signing student posts is over thinking their interactions with the Deaf community. I suggest preparing as much as you can then, with a humble attitude, take part in Deaf community activities. Don't expect to be embraced by all with grateful hearts, and you won't be disappointed.

The Deaf community is not a one-size-fits-all sheep flock. Some people are warm and welcoming, and some are not. Some are patient, and some are not. After a while you'll find people with whom you can relate as long as you don't approach anyone with a patronizing attitude. Whatever you do, don't say that you're learning ASL in order to "help" Deaf people! And don't go to social activities just to meet study subjects and guinea pigs. Go to socialize!

Also be aware that the days of everyone of every age meeting at one Deaf club are over. You might be more comfortable with one demographic than another. That is, the young single people may go to different activities than the family groups or the senior citizens.

Another tip--take criticism graciously and with a sense of humor, and accept bluntness without getting your feelings hurt.

 

[Reba]

...In addition to my books, I am also looking to make deaf friends in my area. I have some first-hand experience with HoH people. My aunt is extremely hard of hearing. She had hearings aids up until a few years ago when she got the cochlear implants. My dad is also HoH. He is completely deaf in one ear and HoH in the other.

Are they late-deafened adults or have they always been HoH? Do they sign?

Even if I don't end up working with deaf or HoH kids, it's still something I want to learn about. I want to teach my kids ASL from birth and I want them to feel comfortable around everyone even if they are "different" (for lack of a better word) than them.

You have children?

When I was 12 I was at youth group (a church thing that would meet once a week), and a deaf girl walked in with her interpreter. No one talked to her and everyone stared at her. I went home and started looking up signs so I could talk to her the next week. She wound up not coming back and I felt bad that I wasn't able to talk to her the week that she was there and that she probably thought that no one wanted to talk to her when in reality, I did, but I didn't know how to. I never forgot that.

For future reference, you could either communicate thru the interpreter, write notes, text messages, or at least smile and be friendly (not crazy aggressive, just normal).

If anything I have typed so far is worded in a way that is offensive, I apologize. I am at work and am typing fast.

Uh, oh. Come back later when you're not on the clock.

 

[ChasingRainbows]

My aunt was born HoH. I actually don't know if she knows ASL. When I was growing up she always just wore hearing aids and read lips.
My dad got Into a fight when he was young and got hit in the ear which made him deaf in that ear. His other ear has gotten worse over the years. He bought hearing aids but returned them a week later. He refuses to admit that he needs them.

I don't have children yet. My fiancé and I are hoping to start having kids in about 3 years. I told my fiancé I want to teach our kids ASL, I don't know how successful that will be since he has no interest in ASL. He knows my puppy is deaf (well...he should know. I've told him enough.) and I've shown him the signs she is learning and he doesn't use them. He will say something to her and if she coincidentally looks up he says "see? She can too hear." It pisses me off. Once I'm fluent, I'm tempted to go ASL on him for a day or 2, using only ASL, and once he gets good and frustrated mention that if he had taken the time to learn he would know what I'm saying.

Where would I find different activities?

 

[dogmom]

ChasingRainbows: Links | Arkansas Association for the Deaf
Arkansas Association for the Deaf- Link <organizations>

Arkansas &bull; Deaf Chat Coffee

 

[ChasingRainbows]

ChasingRainbows: Links | Arkansas Association for the Deaf
Arkansas Association for the Deaf- Link <organizations>

Arkansas &bull; Deaf Chat Coffee

Thanks!

 

[dogmom]

Sure!

 

[Mewtilation]

As addressed on here, you're going to get different feelings on different things from everyone. Every deaf person is different, just like every hearing person is different. Our feelings and opinions can vary greatly. I noticed you said deaf people tend to not be as receptive to hearing people "butting in." I don't think it's really that they're "hearies" I think it's just how some people don't know how to word questions properly. Same goes through a text. When you text someone, you can't convey your feelings accurately, so someone can think you're being sincere when you're being sarcastic. Same applies to the deaf community or a deaf website. We rely heavily on facial expressions and when you're on the other side of a computer, what do we have? A computer screen. A lot of people now a days are just easily offended, point blank. You're going to get that in the deaf community and the hearing one. Just read through posts, maybe talk to some people in threads and take it from there, as I said, we're all different and all very diverse.

 

[DianeLinton]

Hi Rainbows. I am HOH and not sure if I should say deaf in my left ear. I have dealt with it for a long time, but am just now beginning to join the community and recently even learned that it is a culture. My mother is deaf (as many women in my family) and has withdrawn herself from most of the deaf community I think for what you are trying to say without offending anyone. My mom said the deaf community is VERY particular. For example they were mad at the Miss America who was deaf but spoke. I do not understand it myself. To me it sounds like rules or expectations on how to deal with her deafness even though no two deafnesses are alike. I worry about coming across that while seeking a place to belong. I rarely go with the flow.

 

[metalangel]

Rainbows, if you are respectful, receptive and tactful, you'll be fine. This is true of all social situations to which you are a newcomer, not just the Deaf community. Take your time to observe and figure out what approaches will be welcomed and which will rub people the wrong way like a clapping cat.