"Identity Crisis"
He sits in his chair looking out the window, and
An outgoing and attractive world is out there; However,
He's been locked inside by a terrible presence outside,
And the lock has been rendered magically unbreakable...
The glass window is as hard as diamond, and won't budge
No matter how many futile attempts are taken to break it.
His eyes witness a bustling world out the window,
Leaves falling from trees, squirrels playing, people chattering.
One day, the door opens and a carefully wrapped package has been
placed inside, then the door slams shut and the lock clicks in place.
He picks up the gift and unwraps it. Inside is a golden lamp and a note.
The note says, "This is a magical lamp. A gift of great powers."
Familiar with the properties of magical lamps from old literature, he
rubs the lamp. A genie pops up in thin air. The genie says, "Three wishes
ye shall be granted. Choose wisely. Make your first wish."
After a few minutes of thinking, he finally comes up with a wish.
His first wish: "I wish for the lock on the door to be removed."
The genie replies, "As you wish. The lock has been removed."
Looking at the door, he observes the door is now without a lock, and
he proceeds to open the door. The door swings open, and the warm
breeze from the outside world rushes up to greet him.
The warm sunshine falls upon his face, and he feels an energy
radiating from the gentle sunshine upon him. Behind him, he feels
some twinge, as if a terrible presence is following him. This presence
is invisible and a serious concern if he gives it a chance to touch him
once he's in the open air, away from the house where he used to be safe.
Suddenly the outside world doesn't feel so safe anymore. The
people nearby take notice of him and wave at him. He walks over to them
and greets himself using the knowledge he's learned from watching them
out the window, and from books. They are deaf and notice nothing too
out of the ordinary about him, at first. He seems just like them, he
imitates expressions and signs just like them.
But as five minutes go on, his signing starts to waver, and his thoughts
do not follow what he is signing any longer. Frozen in mid-sentence, he
frantically tries to think up how to fill in a word he couldn't remember.
They notice his sudden change in mannerism, quick change of
subject, and how he's unable to talk constantly for a length of time. They have
a few more minutes of conversation before departing. But as a prediction of days
to come, they know he is not like their other friends and consequently will no
longer treat him the same. They will make conversation then leave, and never
try to do things with him as a friend.
He realizes that days will go on and it will be this way with everyone he
encounters, as long as interactions are far and few between.
So he walks back to the house. The lamp is on the chair where he left
it. He rubs the lamp and the genie comes out a second time. "Make your
second wish," the genie states.
His second wish: "I wish for constant exposure to friends as often as
needed, every hour of the day, every day of the year."
"Done," the genie replies. Then the genie vanishes back into the lamp.
A movement catches his eye. He looks and sees someone waving at
him from outside the window. And behind the window is a carnival..
There is a large mass of deaf and hard-of-hearing people at the carnival,
and all of them are nearly his age... and fluent in signing.
So he steps outside and finds that a group has been waiting for him.
A flurry of topics are discussed between different pairs in the group, and
they are walking to the carnival. Once they get there, they choose rides
and the group separates. He goes with Group B, and the group heads
for the Tilt-A-Whirl.
The ride operator knows sign language and motions for the group to
get on the ride. The group splits up and runs to the favored car. Some
of the deaf choose to be in the same car in an attempt to squish the
other person while riding in the car. They all sign across visual space
and make some rash comments at each other. The engine below the
cars begins to vibrate, and the cars begin spinning.
During the ride, one of the cars has four deaf people in it and one
almost gets squished for real. Then the ride stops and everyone steps
out.
He signs to one of his new friends, and they discuss which ride to go
on. His communication is improving. However, he still feels a lot of anxiety
being around new people. They go on ten more rides, and decide to call it
a night. He goes home and goes to sleep.
Two months pass, and a slow conscious improvement is being made in
approaching people and making friends. However he has never had a friend ask
him to hang out and do something. He has made no conscious atttempt to ask
them either. He is afraid that he will not know what to say or how to keep
them entertained if he cannot maintain a conversation. He only goes out when
he knows something is happening. He found out that behind the carnival was a
wide community where his deaf friends lived, a community magically created by
the genie.
However, the terrible presence that lies outside the house has gotten stronger.
The more he resists it, the more omnious it becomes and tells him to stay in
the house or face a worse fate than at first. He realizes that he cannot fight this
omnious presence alone, so he informs his friends about this presence: its history
and how it came into place and put a magical lock on his house. His friends say
they experienced the omnious presence before...but for many of them, they overcame
the omnious presence early on, or did not have an unbreakable lock and window
put into their homes.
They were either put into deaf schools where they were constantly exposed to
peers who similar communication modes, or grew up in the hearing world with strong
role models in their lives. By contrasting points of views as well as likes/dislikes,
exchanging feelings and going through a trial-and-error process, it gave them greater
understanding of their roles as individuals. They had at least one close friend to talk to
constantly, which reinforced their self-identity, to resolve an identity crisis. This gave
them a fighting chance against this self-defeating presence.
The terrible presence which affects many deaf people due to a dissociation with both
the hearing and deaf worlds is also called the "identity crisis."
He walks back to the house and the magical lamp is still on the chair. He still
has one more wish left. So he picks up the lamp and rubs it. The genie comes out
in a great poof of smoke..
"You have one more wish. Make your third and final wish," declares the genie.
"My final wish is for the terrible presence to be removed for once and all," he replies.
"Done." And with this the genie disappears into the lamp, and the lamp vanishes
in a flash of light.
It was as if a curse had been lifted. He now could go outside without feeling a need
to go back inside, and could now easily blend into conversations. He could make an
ASL story and keep going for several minutes without screwing up, and friends felt
comfortable inviting him to parties and hanging out with him. He could also invite them
because they knew each other as intimate or loose friends instead of acquaintances,
and they could always easily maintain a conversation.
Now, if only genie lamps were real...
Copyright October 22, 2006 by Theseus
He sits in his chair looking out the window, and
An outgoing and attractive world is out there; However,
He's been locked inside by a terrible presence outside,
And the lock has been rendered magically unbreakable...
The glass window is as hard as diamond, and won't budge
No matter how many futile attempts are taken to break it.
His eyes witness a bustling world out the window,
Leaves falling from trees, squirrels playing, people chattering.
One day, the door opens and a carefully wrapped package has been
placed inside, then the door slams shut and the lock clicks in place.
He picks up the gift and unwraps it. Inside is a golden lamp and a note.
The note says, "This is a magical lamp. A gift of great powers."
Familiar with the properties of magical lamps from old literature, he
rubs the lamp. A genie pops up in thin air. The genie says, "Three wishes
ye shall be granted. Choose wisely. Make your first wish."
After a few minutes of thinking, he finally comes up with a wish.
His first wish: "I wish for the lock on the door to be removed."
The genie replies, "As you wish. The lock has been removed."
Looking at the door, he observes the door is now without a lock, and
he proceeds to open the door. The door swings open, and the warm
breeze from the outside world rushes up to greet him.
The warm sunshine falls upon his face, and he feels an energy
radiating from the gentle sunshine upon him. Behind him, he feels
some twinge, as if a terrible presence is following him. This presence
is invisible and a serious concern if he gives it a chance to touch him
once he's in the open air, away from the house where he used to be safe.
Suddenly the outside world doesn't feel so safe anymore. The
people nearby take notice of him and wave at him. He walks over to them
and greets himself using the knowledge he's learned from watching them
out the window, and from books. They are deaf and notice nothing too
out of the ordinary about him, at first. He seems just like them, he
imitates expressions and signs just like them.
But as five minutes go on, his signing starts to waver, and his thoughts
do not follow what he is signing any longer. Frozen in mid-sentence, he
frantically tries to think up how to fill in a word he couldn't remember.
They notice his sudden change in mannerism, quick change of
subject, and how he's unable to talk constantly for a length of time. They have
a few more minutes of conversation before departing. But as a prediction of days
to come, they know he is not like their other friends and consequently will no
longer treat him the same. They will make conversation then leave, and never
try to do things with him as a friend.
He realizes that days will go on and it will be this way with everyone he
encounters, as long as interactions are far and few between.
So he walks back to the house. The lamp is on the chair where he left
it. He rubs the lamp and the genie comes out a second time. "Make your
second wish," the genie states.
His second wish: "I wish for constant exposure to friends as often as
needed, every hour of the day, every day of the year."
"Done," the genie replies. Then the genie vanishes back into the lamp.
A movement catches his eye. He looks and sees someone waving at
him from outside the window. And behind the window is a carnival..
There is a large mass of deaf and hard-of-hearing people at the carnival,
and all of them are nearly his age... and fluent in signing.
So he steps outside and finds that a group has been waiting for him.
A flurry of topics are discussed between different pairs in the group, and
they are walking to the carnival. Once they get there, they choose rides
and the group separates. He goes with Group B, and the group heads
for the Tilt-A-Whirl.
The ride operator knows sign language and motions for the group to
get on the ride. The group splits up and runs to the favored car. Some
of the deaf choose to be in the same car in an attempt to squish the
other person while riding in the car. They all sign across visual space
and make some rash comments at each other. The engine below the
cars begins to vibrate, and the cars begin spinning.
During the ride, one of the cars has four deaf people in it and one
almost gets squished for real. Then the ride stops and everyone steps
out.
He signs to one of his new friends, and they discuss which ride to go
on. His communication is improving. However, he still feels a lot of anxiety
being around new people. They go on ten more rides, and decide to call it
a night. He goes home and goes to sleep.
Two months pass, and a slow conscious improvement is being made in
approaching people and making friends. However he has never had a friend ask
him to hang out and do something. He has made no conscious atttempt to ask
them either. He is afraid that he will not know what to say or how to keep
them entertained if he cannot maintain a conversation. He only goes out when
he knows something is happening. He found out that behind the carnival was a
wide community where his deaf friends lived, a community magically created by
the genie.
However, the terrible presence that lies outside the house has gotten stronger.
The more he resists it, the more omnious it becomes and tells him to stay in
the house or face a worse fate than at first. He realizes that he cannot fight this
omnious presence alone, so he informs his friends about this presence: its history
and how it came into place and put a magical lock on his house. His friends say
they experienced the omnious presence before...but for many of them, they overcame
the omnious presence early on, or did not have an unbreakable lock and window
put into their homes.
They were either put into deaf schools where they were constantly exposed to
peers who similar communication modes, or grew up in the hearing world with strong
role models in their lives. By contrasting points of views as well as likes/dislikes,
exchanging feelings and going through a trial-and-error process, it gave them greater
understanding of their roles as individuals. They had at least one close friend to talk to
constantly, which reinforced their self-identity, to resolve an identity crisis. This gave
them a fighting chance against this self-defeating presence.
The terrible presence which affects many deaf people due to a dissociation with both
the hearing and deaf worlds is also called the "identity crisis."
He walks back to the house and the magical lamp is still on the chair. He still
has one more wish left. So he picks up the lamp and rubs it. The genie comes out
in a great poof of smoke..
"You have one more wish. Make your third and final wish," declares the genie.
"My final wish is for the terrible presence to be removed for once and all," he replies.
"Done." And with this the genie disappears into the lamp, and the lamp vanishes
in a flash of light.
It was as if a curse had been lifted. He now could go outside without feeling a need
to go back inside, and could now easily blend into conversations. He could make an
ASL story and keep going for several minutes without screwing up, and friends felt
comfortable inviting him to parties and hanging out with him. He could also invite them
because they knew each other as intimate or loose friends instead of acquaintances,
and they could always easily maintain a conversation.
Now, if only genie lamps were real...
Copyright October 22, 2006 by Theseus
