I need to rant about my job

[ChasingRainbows]

Ok. So. I am a nanny for a 5 year old boy. I've been watching him for 1 year and I love the little bugger to pieces. However, I cannot stand his mom. Her and I have never really clicked and we are never on the same page with anything. I know that I get paid to be on her page, but it's hard when she'll tell me how to do something (like discipline) and I'll follow through with it only to have her change pages/books/libraries halfway through and go back on what she said making me look like the bad guy. Especially when I am in the middle of a timeout with him or telling him not to do something and she'll start cuddling him and making deals with him. His dad is not like this. We have never had any issues like what I have with his wife. I never say anything to either of them about how I feel, I just try and suck it up, but it's so freaking frustrating! Especially since I don't even get paid minimum wage. They are extremely messy people and when I first started working for them I was told that I would get paid extra if I cleaned their house. That "extra" totaled up to about $5 extra PER WEEK. They don't even clean up after themselves most of the time
They make it their 2 older kids' chores. After the first month of watching him I stopped cleaning their house. It just wasn't worth the extra $5.
What sparked this thread today was that the 5 year old just informed me that his mom is going to talk to me about picking up our messes. Apparently I leave messes, which is total bullshit because I KNOW that I don't! I put away everything that we get out before I leave each day! The only messes I don't pick up are ones that were made when I'm not on the clock and I don't think I should have to be responsible for those messes. It is NOT in my job description and I don't get paid enough to be their effing maid!
I do know for a fact that the kid's mom would prefer him be in full-time school. It is his dad who wants to keep me (on most things tho the mom wears the pants in the family and has the dad's balls in a vice grip). It pisses me off that she keeps coming up with all of these bullshit issues and what is even more frustrating is the fact that she has her 5 year old son do her dirty work and tell me what I am and am not supposed to be doing. Before even asking me she will tell him that I am going to do certain things with him, including taking him out when she doesn't even know if I have enough gas in my car. A good chunk of my paycheck already goes to put gas in my car. It's close to a 30 minute drive to and from and I am also required to pick him up from preschool and take him to his house. I hear about 60% of her issues with me from the 5 year old first and I know they are accurate because I hear them from her later.
Another issue is that I work unscheduled overtime 2-4 days a week. She is supposed to let me know if she needs me later but she never does. She just shows up late without even acknowledging that she is late. Most of the time it's not a huge deal, but on my first Valentine's day with my now fiancé, she showed up over an hour and a half late, interfering with my plans I had made. (It has interfered with plans since then, but Valentines day was the most frustrating)
I know the obvious solution to this would be to find another job, but I went over 2 years being unemployed and I have animals I need to feed and a wedding to pay for. I do have a job opportunity coming up in about 6 months or so, but I may go insane before then.
I am not trying to be dramatic by the way, I just really needed to rant.

 

[needsleep]

Ugh. That's rough. Best advice I have is to stay calm and stand your ground....but I also get the fear of being broke. Hang in there.

I'm also a steady babysitter, among other things. It's tough being so involved with another person's child.

 

[SilentRider]

You sound like what normal sisters do for their little brother. If I was ya I'd walk away and find a better job. There's just too many things wrong to stay.

 

[SilentRider]

You sound like what normal sisters do for their little brother. If I was ya I'd walk away and find a better job. There's just too many things wrong to stay.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

It sure sound like you're being underpaid. Could you try to find another job or they really hard to find where you live? I was health aide and had the same problem with some of my clients family. I would get along fine with my client but not the daughter and would made my job harder. It's hard working in someone else house as they're your bosses and if you talk you could be out of a job. If you can make this job work see if they'll give you a written recommendation, if they wouldn't do that I am not sure I would want to have people calling them for a recommendation . Good luck !

 

[Mewtilation]

Man, I was like I hate my job too I'll rant! But I definitely have nothing on that. I hope you find a good middle ground, some people are just terrible.

 

[goodonya]

Just because she has his ball in a vice does not mean that she is really a genuine controller. She is basically using cowards tactics on you. She just gets away with a lot of lightweight stuff. Cowards all crawfish when you back them down. Because you have been really nice to them it will take some patience but you can quietly become a much stronger force in this. Get some gas money, require advance notice of overtime, and so on. Just the right and fair stuff. Stand firm take strong little bites of the situation. You are valuable. Take away little fellows middleman status immediately. Guilt the bitch down she knows that is lame as can be she just gets away with it. You all sound like nice people just no on one standing up to one that is really not so tough just spoiled.

 

[tuatara]

The way she treats you, especially that garbage about telling you to follow a specific discipline regimen and then undercutting it, sounds really personal. Like she has a personal problem and she's taking it out on you. She sounds like a really vicious petty person. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this. I think goodonya's ideas here are all good, if you can pull them off. And like whatdidyousay! said, I don't know how hard it is to find work where you live. But I would still make that a first priority - trying to find something else, something livable. Not even necessarily nanny work. I'm not saying quit your job. But in any little sliver of time you can find (or make) here and there, watch the want ads, bulletin boards, put an ad on craigslist (but of course be careful), go to local businesses and see if they need anyone, ask friends if they know of anything, and keep your eyes open.

That's just my reaction. I can't imagine enduring what you're dealing with. I hope one way or another, things get better soon.

 

[ChasingRainbows]

It is hard to find work where I live. I have extensive professional experience in child care and even with that and letters of recommendations from previous employers it's still hard for me to find work. I got this job on Craigslist. I have applied for retail, no luck.
The lack of appropriate pay pisses me off because they have enough money for other things. They both work full time and she is starting her own business. She has had 2 Mercedes in the past year and he has 3 trucks. Among other things.
Another thing that pisses me off is the lack of food in the house. There is adult food, but rarely kid-friendly food. He has a health issue that requires special food, but the majority of the time he doesn't have his special food. And instead of letting the kid starve, I feed him what is available and then I get spoken to about feeding the wrong thing. The dad is on my side and is just as frustrated. Especially since she doesn't let him get groceries. So a lot of times he'll have me take the kiddo out to eat. He is picky about fast food so he'll have me drive clear across town, frequently without getting paid gas money. He eats fine when I am not there, but that's because the mom is a good cook and can take a bunch of random ingredients and turn it into a meal. That was discussed when I first started and I wasn't required to make elaborate meals.
Now onto the messes. Even if I did leave messes (which I don't), it would be nothing compared to their messes. They leave dirty dishes everywhere, leave dirt all over the floor. Their bathroom is so awful that I usually don't use it when I am there. They never clean the toilet, they just replace it when it gets really nasty. Their house does get cleaned occassionally by the 2 older kids. It is even in their chores to clean the parents bedroom, which I find ridiculous.

This whole thing is just so retarded. I hate feeling like I am on the verge of being fired for no valid reason. I will be so glad when my other job goes through. I'll be taking care of a friend who is a quadriplegic. I've worked for her before and I love it. I'll be getting paid at least double and we get along well and I actually have a lot of fun when I am working for her.

 

[drphil]

If the child is 5 now-won't school being started next year? Wouldn't that alter the care given?
No easy answers, however one isn't required to experience such "turmoil in their work environment".
Good luck in a speedy conclusion.

 

[CrazyPaul]

ChasingRainbows, they are taking advantage of you big time. If I were you, I would quit. If you don't want to quit yet, you have to tell them that they must pay more for transportation for pick-ups at school and for the kid to eat out. A nanny's job is to take care of a child at home or child care center. It includes changing diapers, feeding, watching a kid until bedtime. The parents are responsible to prepare special/diet food for the kid everyday.

However, you have to be careful when you take the child out in your car since it becomes your full responsibility when if there is a car accident or the child gets lost in a mall or wherever.

 

[ChasingRainbows]

I know that if I ask for more pay I will get fired. Just based on comments I have heard from the dad. He has even told me that if it were up to him he would pay me more. But it's up to her and she doesn't like me so there is no chance of me getting more pay.
I can't quit, as much as I want to. Like I said in my first post I have several animals, bills, and a wedding to pay for.

Yes, school will be starting next year. The dad mentioned before that they may have me homeschool him. I was also informed that they are trying for a baby so I would be watching another child. Next year's plans don't really matter much tho since I should be working for my friend by then.

I am very careful with him in my car. We were in 1 accident recently, I was stopped at a stop sign and someone ran into me. No one was hurt and there was little damage to my car. Whenever I am out with him I have his hand at all times.

 

[CrazyPaul]

I know that if I ask for more pay I will get fired. Just based on comments I have heard from the dad. He has even told me that if it were up to him he would pay me more. But it's up to her and she doesn't like me so there is no chance of me getting more pay.
I can't quit, as much as I want to. Like I said in my first post I have several animals, bills, and a wedding to pay for.

Yes, school will be starting next year. The dad mentioned before that they may have me homeschool him. I was also informed that they are trying for a baby so I would be watching another child. Next year's plans don't really matter much tho since I should be working for my friend by then.

I am very careful with him in my car. We were in 1 accident recently, I was stopped at a stop sign and someone ran into me. No one was hurt and there was little damage to my car. Whenever I am out with him I have his hand at all times.

Then you can tell them that you don't have enough gas to go to school to pick their kid up everyday so they have to pay for your gas or they pick him up themselves. If they ask you to take him out to eat, tell them the same thing. Gas is expensive nowadays.

A good chunk of my paycheck already goes to put gas in my car. It's close to a 30 minute drive to and from and I am also required to pick him up from preschool and take him to his house.

So a lot of times he'll have me take the kiddo out to eat. He is picky about fast food so he'll have me drive clear across town, frequently without getting paid gas money.

Actually it's not a nanny's (babysitter's) job to pick the kid up at school or take him out to eat.

My daughter babysitted her boyfriend's nieces/nephews many times. She only watched them at their place (including changing diapers and feeding, that's all).

 

[ChasingRainbows]

It is one of my duties to pick him up from school.
The dad actually texted me 2 days ago saying to take the kiddo out to eat after preschool because there wasn't anything for him to eat for lunch and he would pay me that night, but I didn't have any cash on me so I had to take him straight home and search for food for him. Luckily his chickens laid 2 eggs so he had eggs for lunch.
Last night he went ahead and gave me money to take him out to eat again today because his wife still hasn't gotten groceries.

 

[sonocativo]

I'd put a bug in the kids ear...
Im going to quit because mom don't pay me enough!
and see how soon mom gets the notice... then when confronted just say, Oh yeah, I got another offer with more pay and debating taking it. See if she backs down and increase your pay... Because Im sure she already knows babysitters aren't cheap, and a nanny is more. Here babysitters charge between $15 to $20 an hour.

Minimum wage? Id already given them the finger and walked.
and if she asks what they are going to pay, don't be shy, bark it up !!!! you don't have to reveal any sources, although you have none to begin with... Reverse Psychology!

 

[Reba]

...However, you have to be careful when you take the child out in your car since it becomes your full responsibility when if there is a car accident or the child gets lost in a mall or wherever.

Yes, that is a legal liability issue. If she is transporting a child as part of her paid duties, and something happens, her car insurance may not cover the child's injuries. If she is transporting a child for reimbursement, she has to notify her insurance company and make sure she is fully covered.

 

[CrazyPaul]

I'd put a bug in the kids ear...
Im going to quit because mom don't pay me enough!
and see how soon mom gets the notice... then when confronted just say, Oh yeah, I got another offer with more pay and debating taking it. See if she backs down and increase your pay... Because Im sure she already knows babysitters aren't cheap, and a nanny is more. Here babysitters charge between $15 to $20 an hour.

Minimum wage? Id already given them the finger and walked.
and if she asks what they are going to pay, don't be shy, bark it up !!!! you don't have to reveal any sources, although you have none to begin with... Reverse Psychology!

Babysitting Rates Calculator - Care.com

$11.50/hr for LA, CA. Not bad.

 

[ChasingRainbows]

I'd put a bug in the kids ear...
Im going to quit because mom don't pay me enough!
and see how soon mom gets the notice... then when confronted just say, Oh yeah, I got another offer with more pay and debating taking it. See if she backs down and increase your pay... Because Im sure she already knows babysitters aren't cheap, and a nanny is more. Here babysitters charge between $15 to $20 an hour.

Minimum wage? Id already given them the finger and walked.
and if she asks what they are going to pay, don't be shy, bark it up !!!! you don't have to reveal any sources, although you have none to begin with... Reverse Psychology!

I don't want to stoop to her level by involving the kiddo. I actually did something similar a month ago tho. When I first found out about the job offer I mentioned it to the dad since at that time I was going to be starting to work for her within 8 weeks. It blew up in my face. The mom was being nastier than usual to me and I found out that just for MENTIONING quitting she was going to put him in full time school the the following week and fire me. The dad told me about a comment she made shortly after I told them I got engaged which was "...well she is getting married next year." and it wasn't in the context of hey let's help her out and pay her more. It was in the context of letting me go because I might quit after I get married. That was a bitch move, in my opinion. I can't pay for a wedding without a job. I don't know why she seems to hate me and be determined to find good reason to fire me.

I don't get paid minimum wage. I get less than that. My overtime pay is just above minimum wage.

 

[CrazyPaul]

I don't want to stoop to her level by involving the kiddo. I actually did something similar a month ago tho. When I first found out about the job offer I mentioned it to the dad since at that time I was going to be starting to work for her within 8 weeks. It blew up in my face. The mom was being nastier than usual to me and I found out that just for MENTIONING quitting she was going to put him in full time school the the following week and fire me. The dad told me about a comment she made shortly after I told them I got engaged which was "...well she is getting married next year." and it wasn't in the context of hey let's help her out and pay her more. It was in the context of letting me go because I might quit after I get married. That was a bitch move, in my opinion. I can't pay for a wedding without a job.

I don't get paid minimum wage. I get less than that. My overtime pay is just above minimum wage.

They cheat you. Check how much they should pay you.

Babysitting Rates Calculator - Care.com

If it's not your zip code, click on Recalculate.

 

[Reba]

I know that if I ask for more pay I will get fired…

It could also be a bluff. If they fire you, who will do all the things that you've been doing?

Yes, school will be starting next year. The dad mentioned before that they may have me homeschool him.

Do you have a teaching degree and state certificate? Depending on the state, you might not be allowed to teach the child. Some states allow only the parents to do the teaching.

I was also informed that they are trying for a baby so I would be watching another child.…

Oh, wow, creepy TMI! Time to move on...