i have questions

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jactus

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i'm a hearing woman dating a deaf man. he lip reads and speaks very well. understandably, he mispronounces words sometimes--saying them the way they are spelled. (example: he says "definitely" with long i's intead of short ones.) is it poor form for me to offer to correct him when he does that? i don't want to offend or embarrass him, but i would want someone to correct me in a similar situation. please advise.

also, why do all his hearing friends whisper to him? i don't get it.
 
I can understand the mispronouncation.. I'd ask him if he minds if you correct him. Personally, I don't mind.. but some people might.

Do they whisper in his ear or in his face? that's the difference..

My family always whispers to me but they make sure they're looking at me, not my ear. the reason is that most hearing people when talking to a deaf person and they might not want everyone to know what they're saying.. so they will "turn off" their voices. or just because they don't see the point of using their voice if their deaf friend can't hear them anyway.

I've had some people try to whisper in my ear and I usually pulled away and said.. I can't hear you, look at me..
 
I think being honest without being judgmental or condescending is the right way to handle this situation. I would not confront or impugn him in the presence of others, as this could lead to an awkward and uncomfortable state.

Maybe they whisper because he can't hear the difference between a yell and a whisper. Many times people whisper because they themselves fee uncomfortable...
 
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thank you

thank you so much for your feedback. i really appreciate it. i think i will gently ask him (when we're alone) if he would like me to correct him when he mispronounces words. if he doesn't, i won't mention it again. thanks so much.
 
BearBeauty said:
I can understand the mispronouncation.. I'd ask him if he minds if you correct him. Personally, I don't mind.. but some people might.

Do they whisper in his ear or in his face? that's the difference..

My family always whispers to me but they make sure they're looking at me, not my ear. the reason is that most hearing people when talking to a deaf person and they might not want everyone to know what they're saying.. so they will "turn off" their voices. or just because they don't see the point of using their voice if their deaf friend can't hear them anyway.

I've had some people try to whisper in my ear and I usually pulled away and said.. I can't hear you, look at me..
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I agree and about the whispering issue..I really dont know why hearing people do that to me even after telling them I am deaf. Some of them tell me that because I can speak well, therefore I should be able to hear well. Oh brother. :ugh3:

I explain to them again and again that I rely on lipreading when communicating via spoken language and they smile at me or pat my back telling me it will be ok. WTF? Is that a way of not taking me seriously or what?

Anyways :welcome: to AD! :)
 
i say, if you can understand him then leave it dont worry about correcting him, you can also ask him if he minds you correcting him
 
jactus said:
i'm a hearing woman dating a deaf man. he lip reads and speaks very well. understandably, he mispronounces words sometimes--saying them the way they are spelled. (example: he says "definitely" with long i's intead of short ones.) is it poor form for me to offer to correct him when he does that? i don't want to offend or embarrass him, but i would want someone to correct me in a similar situation. please advise.

also, why do all his hearing friends whisper to him? i don't get it.
Click to expand...

I am hard of hearing and have smilar problems at times.. People whisper to me sometimes ,as well.. and I don't understand it..they do this even if they know I am hoh.. :| I need a little loud(but not too much) and 'clear' speech and I need to see the face of the person talking to me for speech reading.

I appreciate your support to your deaf man :thumb: .. Having a woman who would accept my deafness is one of my dreams.
 
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