I hate the back and forth feelings
- Thread starter chris' mom
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horselover61
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Glad to hear that and now that you can find and feel comfortable in your own way. Enjoy it and I know I did with mine. 
LuciaDisturbed
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I left my husband Nov 13th since then we've tried marriage counseling and that seems to go okay. But it was brought up in the last session that he's a perfectionist and gets up set if I leave that toy we picked up off the floor on the bookself for more then a few days. But the thing is that we both do that and we are both capable of picking it up. After 7 years I still don't meet his standards (his words) he would call me fat (I went from 95lbs 3 years ago before our wedding to 125lbs the day I left him) he always asked me if I was going to change my clothes when we would go to the store to make myself more presentable. I love my husband and want to be with him but I can't be emotionally and mentally abused anymore. Why do I go back and forth on my dession about leaving. I know it won't change hasn't yet, but I don't want to be alone. I'm so out of my comfort zone.. sorry to whin
125 lbs is most certainly not fat at all. He sounds like an asshole (sorry to be blunt, but that's just my opinion) and it sounds like he is abusive to you emotionally especially with your weight and your clothes and whatnot. My advice - LEAVE HIM. You do not deserve this kind of abuse. Maybe you and your children could room with a friend so you won't be alone, or go to your parents? And actually, sometimes being alone is a good thing - you have the place to yourself, you make your own rules, no one there to insult you and criticize you, etc. It can make you feel free. I know that this is out of your comfort zone, but you can get used to it, and besides, your husband treating you like this does not sound like a good comfort zone anyway (I'm just being honest).
If you do leave him, we're here for you.
LuciaDisturbed
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Good! I am happy for you even thought you may not be happy about the divorce...but to me it means you are free now. Hang in there! :hugs: You will eventually find that you enjoy being alone with no rules and no one to insult or criticize you.
I realize I was late in coming to this thread but I do not come to this area of the forum very much. I apologize.
chris' mom
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Lucia-I know we have our disagreements alot. I'm touched that you posted in this even though it coming late. I appricate it..
It's been 3 weeks 2 days and it's going pretty good. I do have my tough times (specially when his family sends me messages dogging me and calling me names). He sees the kids on a regular bases but doesn't come to Chris' important meetings with school and hearing stuff. What's wierd is when he picks up the kids he'll give me a hug and this last time he kissed me on the cheek. It kind of give me a mixed feeling but atleast we can still get along for the kids.
Thanks to everyone else for their well wishes..
LuciaDisturbed
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Thank you, Chris' mom.
Is there any way you can block his family members' messages, how are they sending you messages? Through emails or texts? If it is through emails, you can set it up so that they all go straight to the spam/junk mail folder. If it's texts, I'm not sure how to do that - I don't have the block feature on my sidekick for texts so I don't know, but you should be able to tell who it came from before you read the texts, so you can just simply delete them without reading them - you don't need to read their trash. If they're sending you snail mail, throw them straight into the trash. His family is clearly being very immature.
He should be coming to Chris' important meetings with school and hearing stuff, since he is Chris' father...just because he is no longer married to you does not mean that he can slack off on this stuff - Chris is still his son no matter what, and his responsibilities regarding all his kids has not changed one bit even if he is now divorced - divorce does not change his responsibilities to the kids unless you get sole custody of the kids or if he has completely relinquished his parental rights to the children. He would still have to pay child support if you get sole custody, so he still is responsible for that.
That's weird, if I was you I would feel really weird too...perhaps you should set up boundaries for when he comes to pick up and drop off the kids as to the physical contact...limit it to what you are comfortable with, and tell him what you are comfortable with. Hugs, I am not sure about, (depends on how you feel) I don't think I would like the hugs if I was you, but kissing would definitely be a no-no for me. If you do not feel comfortable with the hugs and the kisses, tell him he can be friendly, but that you do not want any kisses or hugs. Tell him what you are comfortable with - it's your body therefore it's your right as to how much physical contact you want from him.
Hang in there!