I can't take it anymore

[InfernoRaven]

Loss is a state of mind, as a Late Deafened your used to relying on it when it is gone you have to find a way but non-verbal communication is at it's peak with text messaging, picture and video. I used Analog Hearing Aids for all of about 2 weeks and couldn't stand it so I don't wear them people think I am hearing until I break out the sign language. My friends are actually interested in learning sign language since they know I eventually won't be able to lip read using the slight hearing I have left.

 

[caz12]

Yup, afraid it is the case. When losing sounds, it just disappeared. Its all about the sense itself, once it is lost, it is lost. For me, I never understand sounds, and will not be able to discriminate any kind of sounds and I don't have issue with that, just live as it is.

This is something I will never understand why hearing people lost their mind when they lose the sense of sounds. What's so big deal about it, really?

I sort of half agree with you apart from feeling of depression It what started my panic attacks something that's abrupt and you feeling very ill at the time (abrupt loss usually has a reason) Adults associate reasons causes and what if's, it is a shock you living life then get severe headache bang month of life gone and so has your hearing, but like you i pragmatic you have to be but Ijust add one thing depression in young deaf people is high and mental health care poor this apply to the world and that something needs addressing

 

[diehardbiker]

How is it that you half disagree with my own personal experience? What I think is about myself, and how I have lived. If I see somebody goes crazy over loss that I have no clue what it is, this is something I wanted to know... disagreed with me about this part, eh? How so? Are you saying that I should not find out what the big deal is about? Its like losing seeing my favorite color Purple, should I go crazy over loss of color of purple? Its just a color after all and the truth is, I CAN live without seeing my favorite color... Purple (Oh never mind, it has nothing to do with Purple communications)

I sort of half agree with you apart from feeling of depression It what started my panic attacks something that's abrupt and you feeling very ill at the time (abrupt loss usually has a reason) Adults associate reasons causes and what if's, it is a shock you living life then get severe headache bang month of life gone and so has your hearing, but like you i pragmatic you have to be but Ijust add one thing depression in young deaf people is high and mental health care poor this apply to the world and that something needs addressing

 

[diehardbiker]

I agreed completely, all due to idiots making the loss of hearing a HUGE deal, they should not spread these myth in the first place. Don't believe me? How come every baby born in hospital are required to test for hearing FIRST THING! What about other issues? Often they said will check out later but for hearing it is mandatory test. When they return test as positive for hearing loss, they usually bring BAD news rather than supportive and encouragement. Lack of support and encouragement only fuel more fears and confusion when one lose more hearing in later life. Other case where if doctor find something wrong with baby, like loss of sight, or whatever, they usually try to be positive and encouragement. Whats up with hearing loss as an exemption for them? Is it because they simply can not accept or gasp the idea of hearing loss?

That is from my experience with two of my boys, I felt insulted by these doctors and nurses. One of my boys have one of physical deformation (Later fixed and normal), mind you our former family doctor treated it as if it is NOT important and can wait another year to see if it will go away but made huge deal with hearing anyway (Nothing wrong with hearing). I could have had lawsuit against that doctor but I was lucky to use my head fawk that doctor and went to another doctor and it was serious and must start treatment within 2 weeks after birth, image had if I wait a year, the damage will be done. You see, I don't care about hearing loss, but care about other health issues and paid attention and get it treated in time manner. Both of my sons were doing fine and no longer have any issues. Bottom line, these medical professionals should have treated all medical issues equally instead of favoring only hearing.

That is the difference between a late deafened and a born/early dhh person!
And maybe we should raise dhh kids to have a more POSITIVE view of themselves rather then having a defiect or a loss........Male isn't better or lesser then female, gay isn't better or lesser then straight and so on.....that's the way we should raise dhh kids! So they have exposure to BOTH worlds!

 

[Reba]

I agreed completely, all due to idiots making the loss of hearing a HUGE deal, they should not spread these myth in the first place. Don't believe me? How come every baby born in hospital are required to test for hearing FIRST THING!

Why? Probably as a reaction to the many decades of children being born deaf or hard of hearing and no one knowing that until precious years of communication and education were gone by. How many times do deaf/hoh people tell their stories of their families not knowing that they couldn't hear, so they were misdiagnosed as having mental deficiencies or attitude problems? Well, early testing for deafness was developed to avoid that delay in diagnosis of deafness.

What about other issues? Often they said will check out later but for hearing it is mandatory test. When they return test as positive for hearing loss, they usually bring BAD news rather than supportive and encouragement. Lack of support and encouragement only fuel more fears and confusion when one lose more hearing in later life.

Other case where if doctor find something wrong with baby, like loss of sight, or whatever, they usually try to be positive and encouragement. Whats up with hearing loss as an exemption for them? Is it because they simply can not accept or gasp the idea of hearing loss?

That's not the fault of the testing. That's the fault of the lack of training of the doctor who deals with the parents.

That is from my experience with two of my boys, I felt insulted by these doctors and nurses. One of my boys have one of physical deformation (Later fixed and normal), mind you our former family doctor treated it as if it is NOT important and can wait another year to see if it will go away but made huge deal with hearing anyway (Nothing wrong with hearing). I could have had lawsuit against that doctor but I was lucky to use my head fawk that doctor and went to another doctor and it was serious and must start treatment within 2 weeks after birth, image had if I wait a year, the damage will be done. You see, I don't care about hearing loss, but care about other health issues and paid attention and get it treated in time manner. Both of my sons were doing fine and no longer have any issues. Bottom line, these medical professionals should have treated all medical issues equally instead of favoring only hearing.

Just because the first doctor didn't treat the physical deformation appropriately doesn't mean it was because there was an emphasis on the hearing test.

 

[caz12]

How is it that you half disagree with my own personal experience? What I think is about myself, and how I have lived. If I see somebody goes crazy over loss that I have no clue what it is, this is something I wanted to know... disagreed with me about this part, eh? How so? Are you saying that I should not find out what the big deal is about? Its like losing seeing my favorite color Purple, should I go crazy over loss of color of purple? Its just a color after all and the truth is, I CAN live without seeing my favorite color... Purple (Oh never mind, it has nothing to do with Purple communications)

yes that what I mean I put it badly. PRAGMATIC yes if you never see purple no good stressing...
I not sure they put emphasis on testing new born baby hearing get false negative/positives think it about three months before get proper idea but maybe wrong....and it prick test they do before anything else with newborn

 

[Swedeafa]

My last reply was likely much too long, so I will give an example to illustrate why hearing become upset when losing hearing.

My half-brother and his wife had a baby just before Christmas a few years ago. The day before Christmas he comes to the house where we are gathered directly from the hospital and to say that the baby is born. But I can see something is wrong. The brother sais they will not join us for Christmas celebrations, but I do not hear what he is saying about why they cannot come. I naturally ask if the baby is ok? Yes, the baby is fine, so I am still puzzled. I can see he is worried, and everyone talks in hushed voiced which makes it even harder to understand what they say. He only stays two-three minutes, so I never really get the opportunity to ask for repeats. After he left somone explains that the mother of the child is really really ill, and will have to stay in the hospital.

This was really sad to me, because if I would have heard the brother's information, I would have hugged him and offered some support. Now it was too late. Maybe he even thought I did not care, since I did not say anything? I imnidietly sent him a message on Facebook, but felt it was not really the same thing as communicating directly. It is situation like this that scares us when we just cannot hear enough.

Should we be scared? Maybe not. My half-brother hopefully understands I do care, and that it was simply to difficult to hear. Secondly, if everyone had known a little sign language communication would not have been an issue. But still, the first time you miss important information because tou did not hear it is scary. Especially if you and everyone around you expect that you will hear what is said.

 

[diehardbiker]

This makes it sounded as if Deafness as curable disease, so it is best to find out the earliest possible for Deafness so that they can get immediate treatment, alright what about the rest of disease or alignments? Why aren't they testing those but hearing? Don't forget that hearing loss is in fact permanent loss, anyone can try everything to regain the hearing, but the truth is only small fraction of them do have some success.

Did you realize that if I delay treatment for my son's deformation, it will become permanently damaged for rest of my son's life. He had 2 weeks window for treatment to be able to fix the problem he has, mind you, my family doctor didn't think it as importance where it is damn important (Has to do with walking). To make this matter worse, that stupid family doctor is the boss of one of Deaf doctor! (No longer works for that doctor)

I don't want to make myself sounded negative, it is how we the Deafies been treated by hearing people and professionals as well and I am not going to leave this issues as unheard. My only hope is that hearing people learn that the Deafness DOES exist, and it is adaptable lifestyle rather than "End of world syndrome".

Lastly, I can say, after hearing hearing's people rants about noises that I am damn grateful that I never have chance to understand what it is like to be hearing person as it is rather peaceful to be Deaf (Audible speaking). I don't have to hear plenty of audio craps, wow! So, losing hearing isn't really end of world, take it with grain of salt, you will be fine.

Well, early testing for deafness was developed to avoid that delay in diagnosis of deafness.

 

[LoveBlue]

This makes it sounded as if Deafness as curable disease, so it is best to find out the earliest possible for Deafness so that they can get immediate treatment

And that "immediate" treatment could well be trying hearing aids, since I'm doubt they can determine the degree of deafness in the majority of babies. At the same time, the parents can begin learning sign language and contemplating whether they want to look into CIs, etc.

Yes, it would be nice if all potential "defects" could be tested for in the early months/years. I'm not sure if our hospitals were testing all babies for hearing loss when I had my girls 20+ years ago, but I requested the hearing tests because hearing loss runs in my family. The girls still may experience hearing loss as adults as that is when my mom and I started losing ours.

 

[Crickets]

I agreed completely, all due to idiots making the loss of hearing a HUGE deal, they should not spread these myth in the first place. Don't believe me? How come every baby born in hospital are required to test for hearing FIRST THING! What about other issues? Often they said will check out later but for hearing it is mandatory test. When they return test as positive for hearing loss, they usually bring BAD news rather than supportive and encouragement. Lack of support and encouragement only fuel more fears and confusion when one lose more hearing in later life. Other case where if doctor find something wrong with baby, like loss of sight, or whatever, they usually try to be positive and encouragement. Whats up with hearing loss as an exemption for them? Is it because they simply can not accept or gasp the idea of hearing loss?

I'm hard of hearing, and was likely born that way, although there's no way of knowing for sure because I was born before newborns were tested for hearing loss. My hearing loss wasn't discovered until I went to first grade (age 6). Until my hearing was tested when I was 6 years old, no one - including me - even suspected that I was hard of hearing. However, after my parents found out, then certain things made sense to us, like why I didn't always come inside when my parents called me when I was playing outside, or why I seemed to not be paying attention in class or ignoring my teacher.

I wish my hearing had been tested when I was born, because there's probably a lot that I missed when I was little because no one knew that I couldn't always hear what was going on around me. For that reason, I'm glad that babies today are screened for hearing loss. For someone who has always been deaf, it may seem insulting to have your baby screened for this, but if a baby isn't screened and they are hard of hearing and it isn't discovered until much later, I think that can be putting the child a great disadvantage for learning in a hearing world. A deaf parent may have no difficulty communicating with a baby that is hoh, and may not care whether their baby is hoh, but I think hoh babies should be diagnosed and given the opportunity to hear as much as possible as early as possible.

When my parents discovered that I was hoh, it didn't matter to them and they didn't treat me any differently, but at least they were aware that there was an issue so they could help me with it. Because I was hoh in only one ear but my hearing was still good in my other ear, the doctors didn't recommend that I get a hearing aid (I guess that attitude was common for unilateral hearing loss back then). However, I did start sitting in the front row in my classes, and my teachers and family knew to get my attention before speaking to me, and they tried to face me when speaking to me.

I guess my point is that you and some other deaf parents may not like or care that babies get screened for hearing loss right away, but speaking as a former hoh baby/child who wasn't diagnosed or helped until years later, I can tell you it I think it matters a lot to hoh babies/children that they get diagnosed and helped (whether that help is ASL, hearing aids, etc.) as soon as possible. But hoh babies can't receive help if no one knows they're hoh.

 

[Reba]

This makes it sounded as if Deafness as curable disease, so it is best to find out the earliest possible for Deafness so that they can get immediate treatment, alright what about the rest of disease or alignments? Why aren't they testing those but hearing? Don't forget that hearing loss is in fact permanent loss, anyone can try everything to regain the hearing, but the truth is only small fraction of them do have some success.

I don't believe it had anything to do with a "cure." It had to do with early intervention. The idea was to not delay in getting the child into a program that would provide communication options. It was in response to the decades of the past where deaf children wouldn't have their deafness recognized until after years of frustration and language neglect.

Did you realize that if I delay treatment for my son's deformation, it will become permanently damaged for rest of my son's life. He had 2 weeks window for treatment to be able to fix the problem he has, mind you, my family doctor didn't think it as importance where it is damn important (Has to do with walking). To make this matter worse, that stupid family doctor is the boss of one of Deaf doctor! (No longer works for that doctor)

I'm sorry but sometimes I think you don't even read my replies.

I didn't post anything that supported a delay in treatment for your son's deformation.

Just because the hearing test is required doesn't mean that other physical tests and treatments should be ignored. It also doesn't mean that the hearing test is the reason doctors overlook other problems.

I don't want to make myself sounded negative, it is how we the Deafies been treated by hearing people and professionals as well and I am not going to leave this issues as unheard. My only hope is that hearing people learn that the Deafness DOES exist, and it is adaptable lifestyle rather than "End of world syndrome".

No argument there.

Lastly, I can say, after hearing hearing's people rants about noises that I am damn grateful that I never have chance to understand what it is like to be hearing person as it is rather peaceful to be Deaf (Audible speaking). I don't have to hear plenty of audio craps, wow! So, losing hearing isn't really end of world, take it with grain of salt, you will be fine.

To each his own.

 

[ambrosia]

I find it simply fascinating Die Hard biker that you have like this hierchy of the bodies abilities.

I admittedly only read the first couple sentences of all your rants. But the most simplest explanation as to why you don't understand why "such a big deal about sound" is made is because you haven't experienced it. You don't have hearing loss. You can't lose what you never had, and you can't understand the experiences of a hearing person because YOU haven't experienced it. That is why it seems meaningless and unimportant to you and you can't comprehend it. We can't even explain it to you because it has to be something that you've experienced to truly understand.

Sound is beautiful, and it's precious. Losing your hearing is traumatizing and heart wrenching. If you lost your sight you would miss it just as much as someone who loses their hearing misses their hearing. You can live without either, or both, it just makes the world a little less bright when you've lost it. Not that it's the end of the world. It's just a different world, and we have right to our feelings, our experience.

Of blindness and deafness, deafness is the worse affliction. Blindness separates you from things, deafness separates you from people-Helen Keller. A bit paraphrased not sure if I got that perfectly, but it's pretty close I think.

 

[deafdyke]

I find it simply fascinating Die Hard biker that you have like this hierchy of the bodies abilities.

I admittedly only read the first couple sentences of all your rants. But the most simplest explanation as to why you don't understand why "such a big deal about sound" is made is because you haven't experienced it. You don't have hearing loss. You can't lose what you never had, and you can't understand the experiences of a hearing person because YOU haven't experienced it. That is why it seems meaningless and unimportant to you and you can't comprehend it. We can't even explain it to you because it has to be something that you've experienced to truly understand.

Sound is beautiful, and it's precious. Losing your hearing is traumatizing and heart wrenching. If you lost your sight you would miss it just as much as someone who loses their hearing misses their hearing. You can live without either, or both, it just makes the world a little less bright when you've lost it. Not that it's the end of the world. It's just a different world, and we have right to our feelings, our experience.

Of blindness and deafness, deafness is the worse affliction. Blindness separates you from things, deafness separates you from people-Helen Keller. A bit paraphrased not sure if I got that perfectly, but it's pretty close I think.

Ambrosia, you're LATE deafened. Great we get that you think it's so horrid not to be able to hear. That is b/c you are LATE deafened. You know what sound actually IS. That's pretty much the difference between childhood/early dhh and late deafened people like you. You'd see the same thing with for example early blind/low vision, vs late blind/low vision or early wheelchair users vs late wheelchair users.

 

[Swedeafa]

Ambrosia, you're LATE deafened. Great we get that you think it's so horrid not to be able to hear. That is b/c you are LATE deafened. You know what sound actually IS. That's pretty much the difference between childhood/early dhh and late deafened people like you. You'd see the same thing with for example early blind/low vision, vs late blind/low vision or early wheelchair users vs late wheelchair users.

Deafdyke, you are dismissing Ambrosias explanations without really considering rhe arguments. The problem is not that you cannot hear, but the effects on communication. When you cannot hear what people talk about, you miss information. (As in my example earlier.) Missing information is serius. It effects everything you do. It is also terrible when people suddenly do not want to communicate with you because it is too cumbersame to write things down or too expansivt to get terps.

A actually agree that we HOH sometimes are much too upset with the hearing loss. There is nothing wrong with not hearing, and it is possible to have excellent lifes anyway. However, do not underestimate the effects of suddenly being excluded from communication. As I wrote before, what if you suddenly stopped being able to understand ASL (if you sign)? That would be an issue, would it not? Eventually you might find ways to handle the situation, but I honestly think you would be worried about it at first.

 

[ambrosia]

Ambrosia, you're LATE deafened. Great we get that you think it's so horrid not to be able to hear. That is b/c you are LATE deafened. You know what sound actually IS. That's pretty much the difference between childhood/early dhh and late deafened people like you. You'd see the same thing with for example early blind/low vision, vs late blind/low vision or early wheelchair users vs late wheelchair users.

I was answering DHBs question of why is such a big deal made of it. Bottom line, because it IS a big deal. Just because you adapted to it, doesn't make it sound meaningless and you're never going to be able to wrap your head around why hearing people and late deafened people react as they do. They understand what is lost, and what is missing. It's something that has to be experienced to be understood.......which is why DHB can't comprehend it.

 

[AlleyCat]

I have always said "You can't miss what you never had." Sure, you can be curious about a cat's meow, but if you've never heard it, you don't actually MISS it. I sincerely feel for the late-deafened when they DO lose what they had. They miss it. It is the same for any other type of loss, whether it be hearing, sight, smell, an arm or leg or any type of limb, and so on.

 

[everlastingstorm]

People with normal hearing are used to hearing normally. Their brains have already been wired to accept a certain level of language comprehension, a certain ability to hear in noise, and have a certain sound quality. Any change throws that off, and when that change in hearing ability happens, it is a loss to them because it is worse than what they had before and affects everything around them. They were not raised culturally Deaf and it is inappropriate to expect that they have the same feelings about their experiences with hearing loss as those who had limited experience of sound and hearing.


People with existing hearing loss who were fortunate enough to have good sound quality & good use of residual hearing with hearing aids and then had a sudden loss of what they had already experience the same phenomenon. They can no longer communicate at the level they were able to previously, jobs can end up in jeopardy, and socially it can become even more awkward. It is difficult, and I don't blame anyone who suffers a degradation in hearing level and experiences it as a loss in either situation.


Just because someone experiences their hearing loss as a loss does not mean that they're broken. I don't think Ambrosia meant that at all. Experiencing hearing loss as a loss doesn't equal broken. It is a typical and a very appropriate reaction to something that was once there for that person, but it doesn't make it any easier. In fact, it makes it harder and it is appropriate in every right for them to go through a grieving process about their hearing loss.

 

[diehardbiker]

I live in the world of visual, not by sound.

When the world, as society communicate with me, I see as it is, not hearing what it is, I only know by what I see, not by what I hear,

I see the world, as society does not want deal with hearing loss, I couldn't see the sounds, (You know, it is impossible, right?), anyway I was wondering why >hearing< is so such a big deal, what is it, really? I merely ask what it is, so I might learn a thing or two. Instead, I got my face slapped.

Here is the truth, what I >>>SEE<<< not as if I heard is that you, the OP showing true color of resentment, anger, total ignorant, act of denial, and so on. Hey, now I ask you a tough, sticky question, that is, WHY you have trouble accepting hearing loss? Is it because you knew there will be tons, tons of oppression going hit right on your face, was it because in the past, you have oppressed us, and now you realized your being forced to join into our boat?

My question on "Whats big deal?" is to understand whats really going on, and figure out how we could change how Hearing respond when dealing with hearing loss and deafness.

I would love to see the barriers rumbles down, just like the Berlin wall back in 80's.

 

[everlastingstorm]

I live in the world of visual, not by sound.

When the world, as society communicate with me, I see as it is, not hearing what it is, I only know by what I see, not by what I hear,

I see the world, as society does not want deal with hearing loss, I couldn't see the sounds, (You know, it is impossible, right?), anyway I was wondering why >hearing< is so such a big deal, what is it, really? I merely ask what it is, so I might learn a thing or two. Instead, I got my face slapped.

Here is the truth, what I >>>SEE<<< not as if I heard is that you, the OP showing true color of resentment, anger, total ignorant, act of denial, and so on. Hey, now I ask you a tough, sticky question, that is, WHY you have trouble accepting hearing loss? Is it because you knew there will be tons, tons of oppression going hit right on your face, was it because in the past, you have oppressed us, and now you realized your being forced to join into our boat?

My question on "Whats big deal?" is to understand whats really going on, and figure out how we could change how Hearing respond when dealing with hearing loss and deafness.

I would love to see the barriers rumbles down, just like the Berlin wall back in 80's.

The tone of your post is completely inconducive to breaking barriers. Your perspective-taking skills are obviously very limited. No one is denying you what your experience of hearing/deafness is. Others have a right to how they have experienced their deafness just as you do yours.

 

[Frisky Feline]

I live in the world of visual, not by sound.

When the world, as society communicate with me, I see as it is, not hearing what it is, I only know by what I see, not by what I hear,

I see the world, as society does not want deal with hearing loss, I couldn't see the sounds, (You know, it is impossible, right?), anyway I was wondering why >hearing< is so such a big deal, what is it, really? I merely ask what it is, so I might learn a thing or two. Instead, I got my face slapped.

Here is the truth, what I >>>SEE<<< not as if I heard is that you, the OP showing true color of resentment, anger, total ignorant, act of denial, and so on. Hey, now I ask you a tough, sticky question, that is, WHY you have trouble accepting hearing loss? Is it because you knew there will be tons, tons of oppression going hit right on your face, was it because in the past, you have oppressed us, and now you realized your being forced to join into our boat?

My question on "Whats big deal?" is to understand whats really going on, and figure out how we could change how Hearing respond when dealing with hearing loss and deafness.

I would love to see the barriers rumbles down, just like the Berlin wall back in 80's.

why push your luck to them? I understand where youare coming from. Let it go.