i asked this elsewhere..

frankiesmom

frankiesmom

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but it was jumbled in with a million other questions!
ok..if my son does not respond well with the hearing aids..would it be wrong to skip the implants, place him in a deaf preschool, attempt to have everyone in the family learn sign language, and just adapt in any way we can, to help him along? i am really feeling like this is the best option..ive been bouncing over both sides of the fence and i just keep coming back to this option.
any opinions on this would be awesome!
:wave: :wave: :wave:
 
Wirelessly posted

Sign Language is the best option by far. He will learn other visual communications too as he gets older such as reading and writing and this will come easier with sign language as his first language.

Take this advice from an former mainstreamed oral deafie turned voice-off Deafie. Never force oral on him because it may seem the easiest route for you, but it will be the hardest thing for him.



BTW,you have a lovely boy there :)
 
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aww thanks! he is a sweetheart..the audiologists were just fawning over him the other day..and he loved it! i wonder if he is so into being touched and cuddled because he cant hear? and thanks for the advice..i just wonder if it would be best just to let him be who he is..over these past few weeks i have found so many different things that can help him adjust that i am just not 100 percent sure about putting him through a surgery that might not be the best thing for him..on one hand, i would love to get it and hope it would make everything like it should be, and put this whole thing behind us but of course it doesnt work that way, so why not do what we can to make HIS life fuller, rather than more convenient for us?
 
I think you will get early intervention services from your area education agency. They are going to be better qualified to tell you what services are available to him.

From your description, it looks like deafness is going to be one of the least of his problems. He is going to need lots of help in dealing with the developmental delays.

A deaf pre-school may not be able to offer what he needs.
 
Deaf preschool and learning ASL is a wonderful, wonderful start. It's how I started out. I was in a deaf-only preschool class (of about 15 kids or so) where we divided our day between learning sign, vocabulary, and all sorts of other fun stuff. I started speech therapy just a short time later. You can decide at any time later if you want to make changes in regards to HAs, CIs, etc. Way to go !! :)
 
Bottesini said:
I think you will get early intervention services from your area education agency. They are going to be better qualified to tell you what services are available to him.

From your description, it looks like deafness is going to be one of the least of his problems. He is going to need lots of help in dealing with the developmental delays.

A deaf pre-school may not be able to offer what he needs.
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well, the one that i have tentatively decided on works with delayed kids, as does the other school we are looking at monday..early intervention came out and they are having a speech therapist come out twice a month and i have set up appointments with a speech pathologist/occupational therapist besides that.
i am hoping all of this works, but i am still worried that he will be just as he is and we will have to accept it..if you cant tell, i HATE not having an immediate solution! i like things to be fixed and fixed right away, and having to be patient and go to these different people is just agonizing for someone as pushy as i am! :D
 
frankiesmom said:
well, the one that i have tentatively decided on works with delayed kids, as does the other school we are looking at monday..early intervention came out and they are having a speech therapist come out twice a month and i have set up appointments with a speech pathologist/occupational therapist besides that.
i am hoping all of this works, but i am still worried that he will be just as he is and we will have to accept it..if you cant tell, i HATE not having an immediate solution! i like things to be fixed and fixed right away, and having to be patient and go to these different people is just agonizing for someone as pushy as i am! :D
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I have a granddaughter with the same problems. She is catching up well after getting assessed and diagnosed. She has had the speech therapist at home, but is just two and has not been in a pre-school yet.
 
Wirelessly posted

Establishing Sign Language as his communication foundational stone in his life then all the other services can be added - if they are beneficial for him then sign language will enhance it. If it isn't, then sign language will keep him from sinking. It will become his source of strength to pull through difficulties - it will be his safe haven among the storms of life.
 
that i am just not 100 percent sure about putting him through a surgery that might not be the best thing for him..on one hand, i would love to get it and hope it would make everything like it should be, and put this whole thing behind us but of course it doesnt work that way, so why not do what we can to make HIS life fuller, rather than more convenient for us?
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I actually think you're putting the cart before the horse. You don't even know how he will respond to hearing aids yet. If he has severe loss, chances are very good that he may be able to respond well to aids.
As to the origonal topic, I think you have to be very child centered. Offer ASL, but ALSO offer speech therapy....see how your kid responds.
Going voice off is pretty rare, even for Deaf of Deaf.
Offer every and anything you can.......
 
BecLak said:
Wirelessly posted

Establishing Sign Language as his communication foundational stone in his life then all the other services can be added - if they are beneficial for him then sign language will enhance it. If it isn't, then sign language will keep him from sinking. It will become his source of strength to pull through difficulties - it will be his safe haven among the storms of life.
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true tough communication asl complication! I am pretty lots of experience!
 
You can decide at any time later if you want to make changes in regards to HAs, CIs, etc. Way to go !!
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Excellent point AlleyCat.
I think you really need to be very flexiable and child centered with raising a deaf kid. Their needs may change. Like they may need some intense speech training or time at Clarke School, (and I really think a good idea to increase enrollment at Clarke, would be to offer an academic program especially for kids who may need to improve their spoken language) or time on ASL, or going to res school and so on.
 
frankiesmom said:
aww thanks! he is a sweetheart..the audiologists were just fawning over him the other day..and he loved it! i wonder if he is so into being touched and cuddled because he cant hear? and thanks for the advice..i just wonder if it would be best just to let him be who he is..over these past few weeks i have found so many different things that can help him adjust that i am just not 100 percent sure about putting him through a surgery that might not be the best thing for him..on one hand, i would love to get it and hope it would make everything like it should be, and put this whole thing behind us but of course it doesnt work that way, so why not do what we can to make HIS life fuller, rather than more convenient for us?
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Most people here know I am hearing. I also love ASL and Deaf Culture.

I have several beliefs, three apply here.

One is "Let life surprise you."

Right now life has handed you a BIG surprise. But the surprise does not end there. If you let life surprise you, you will find many more surprises and they may very well be the best surprises you have ever had in your life.

Another is that "Reality is in the definition".

Right now you have only been exposed to hearing values and the choice seems to be, "Make things easier for my child and enrich his life or make things easier for me and my family." But that is not really the case. One of the surprises is that learning ASL and discovering Deaf Culture can enrich YOUR life and your families life. So I suggest you redefine your experience from the somewhat ugly choice of "Make life easy for my child or easy for me" and instead define it as an adventure you and your child will take into a whole new world you never suspected existed before. Finding the right definition can often be the most important thing you can do in any situation.

Another is to "Live eclectically" or "Find the silver lining".

More than one person on this forum has had their career choices improved, not to mention their personal happiness with their career improved by learning ASL and involving themselves in the Deaf Community.

It is even possible for you to find a new career helping others in your situation by joining or creating organizations, going on speaking tours, etc. once you have become comfortable in the life you are living.
 
frankiesmom said:
but it was jumbled in with a million other questions!
ok..if my son does not respond well with the hearing aids..would it be wrong to skip the implants, place him in a deaf preschool, attempt to have everyone in the family learn sign language, and just adapt in any way we can, to help him along? i am really feeling like this is the best option..ive been bouncing over both sides of the fence and i just keep coming back to this option.
any opinions on this would be awesome!
:wave: :wave: :wave:
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If you were told by doctors that your child has eyesight problems and needed to wear glasses, and this was confirmed by a specialist, would you quickly get the glasses?
If not, the child's eyesight will get worst and worst. When the child gets to the age of making an informed choice of the future, the child is going to realize YOU could have saved what eyesight was there at birth but YOU let it distillate.
Suppose you do follow the recommendation of the specialist and get the glasses but your child does not respond well to the glasses. What are you going to do? Give in and allow the child to NOT wear glasses? Make damn sure the child wears the glasses until old enough to make an informed decision? This is on YOU.

Now exchange glasses for hearing aids. Do you really want your child to lose almost all the hearing born with? Our do you intend to do everything possible to keep the child's hearing level as high as possible. This too is on YOU. YOU can allow the child's birth hearing distillate or save it. You only get one chance.
 
rolling7 said:
If you were told by doctors that your child has eyesight problems and needed to wear glasses, and this was confirmed by a specialist, would you quickly get the glasses?
If not, the child's eyesight will get worst and worst. When the child gets to the age of making an informed choice of the future, the child is going to realize YOU could have saved what eyesight was there at birth but YOU let it distillate.
Suppose you do follow the recommendation of the specialist and get the glasses but your child does not respond well to the glasses. What are you going to do? Give in and allow the child to NOT wear glasses? Make damn sure the child wears the glasses until old enough to make an informed decision? This is on YOU.

Now exchange glasses for hearing aids. Do you really want your child to lose almost all the hearing born with? Our do you intend to do everything possible to keep the child's hearing level as high as possible. This too is on YOU. YOU can allow the child's birth hearing distillate or save it. You only get one chance.
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This is pretty harsh to put on someone who is trying to find the right thing to do.

If you were talking hearing aids I would agree with you.

If you are talking Choclear Implants the analogy fails.

And of course how far do you trust the "experts". How many Deaf People have been deprived of the Deaf Community because they told their parents get implants and keep them from learning ASL?
 
rolling7 nice in theory but how many low vision adults who weren't allowed(parents and/or the school) to learn braille as kids and since learned it?

Do you no any personally?

Please don't bring eyesight/glasses into a hearing aid/ci discussion
 
You only get one chance.
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rolling that is only true if you're talking about a deep profound loss. One of the things that annoys me to NO END is the assumption that ASL etc means not concentrating on speech and auditory training and stuff like that. Almost all kids at schools/programs for the Deaf (and not just Clarke, St. Joseph's and CID) get a VERY hefty dose of hoh style intervention. We are very pro full toolbox here. VERY. I do agree that going "voice off" is a wee bit extreme. Why not try everything, and see what works best with the kid?
You know, I and many other dhh kids weren't aided until we were toddlers....Yet we've done OK.
 
Each of the last three post miss the point. The point is to save what the child is born with. While there is no comparison between glasses and H.A.s (I never mention C.I.) there is a comparison between dissipation of eyesight and hearing. Medically there are better words to use than "percent" but here we will use it.
A child born with, say, 30% eyesight/hearing lost MUST be allow to keep that percentage that low until adulthood and the child can make an informed decision for the future.
Bringing communication methods into this is not necessary because they (i.e. ASL/oral/etc. do nothing to SAVE hearing lost.
There are different levels of hearing lost....mild/hoh..deaf..severe deaf...profound deaf..."total"deaf...and a child born at a lower level needs professional help to stay at that level. That is my point that ALL parents need to make serious effort to save what is there regardless of an un-cooperative child that does not understand the needs for the future.
 
frankiesmom - I suggest taking it one step at a time. First see if he gets any benefits from hearing aids - it may take a while. meanwhile, keep signing away and associating signs with objects and being the good loving mom you are.

Cochlear Implants - this really should be last measure and be taken into consideration only if it's determined he absolutely gets no benefits from HAs.

Audiologists fawning over him? Sounds like he's already quite the ladies' man :)
 
rolling7 said:
Each of the last three post miss the point. The point is to save what the child is born with
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Sometimes that is not possible
rolling7 said:
While there is no comparison between glasses and H.A.s (I never mention C.I.) there is a comparison between dissipation of eyesight and hearing. Medically there are better words to use than "percent" but here we will use it.
A child born with, say, 30% eyesight/hearing lost MUST be allow to keep that percentage that low until adulthood and the child can make an informed decision for the future.
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No a child with those type losses could cope without intervention(says the legally blind adult who had no intervention at home or school)
rolling7 said:
Bringing communication methods into this is not necessary because they (i.e. ASL/oral/etc. do nothing to SAVE hearing lost.
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Yes it does I no kids who dont rely on their ears at all because the information is faulty. This is a child who has deafness is under the speech bannah.So has a placement at nzsl school
rolling7 said:
That is my point that ALL parents need to make serious effort to save what is there regardless of an un-cooperative child that does not understand the needs for the future.
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Attempts to save hearing and eyesight can cause family breakdowns and mental health issues.And you are suggesting it
 
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