How To Explain Importance of Deaf Peers For Deaf Child?

[MomToDeafChild]

I need some help trying to explain the importance of a deaf child having access to deaf peers, and am having a difficult time putting it into words. Can someone help me? Here's a little background...

My kiddo started out in the home school (mainstream), but after a CI failure a couple years ago we moved her out of the district and into a mainstream class with great services for the deaf (because the home school district has horrible services). At this time, we introduced sign and an interpreter into her communication toolbox. The current school has lots of other deaf children, and she is doing awesome. Now the home school wants her back. They still have no services, so will have to pull something together.

She would be the ONLY deaf child in a school that has very limited experience with deaf children.

As an oral child, we've always stressed the need for good speech/hearing peers in our IEPs (which of course we needed in order to use the CI). However, we've always felt it important that she have ties to the Deaf Community, and the only ties we have are through her current program. It dawned on me that in the new placement she has access to NO deaf children. Her ties with the Deaf community will be completely severed. I do not drive so have no way to take her the distances to go where her deaf friends are, so those friendships won't survive.

I feel this is a huge issue! I think it's important for her identity to have others she can share like experiences with. We don't know in the future if she will decide she'd prefer sign to speech (we'd support her in whatever she chooses), or if her implant fails again and she doesn't get hearing back. She currently signs with her Deaf friends in school (resistant to signing at home), but she will no longer have anyone to sign to, and a skill that is not used is going to die.

What are the words I want to use here to explain that while it is important for her to have good speech/hearing peers, it is just as important for her to have Deaf peers?

 

[Lighthouse77]

Put your foot down and tell them you are not removing your child from a school that seem to be helping her socially and such. Why take that away from her (and take her away from her friends too) .

 

[Adamsmomma]

The WHOLE child has to be addressed (in my opinion) and that includes their social growth... if she feels 'different' she won't be happy and comfortable... she deserves the chance to be happy and 'fit in'...

Would they not allow a child of a different ethniticty be where they have at least a couple other children of the same ethnic background-- (unless it's very very unusal and no other children are around) In many ways it's the same concept--

Remind them she has equal right to be w/peers!!!

 

[faire_jour]

I'm going to be dead honest, with the school system it seems like you have to pick one or the other. You can argue that they need peers who communicate in the same way they do, and if they are oral, they are hearing peers. If you child signs, then you can say that they need direct communication with peers and that will get you deaf kids. Ypou are in the middle ground (as am I) and it seems that you can't have both.

 

[ASLGAL]

At this time, we introduced sign and an interpreter into her communication toolbox. The current school has lots of other deaf children, and she is doing awesome.

I think that says it all.
The important thing is that your child is at a school where she is thriving and happy.
Don't be bullied!

 

[Buffalo]

She would be very isolated if she went back to the old school. Friends are important part of growing up. I hope you will fight to keep her in the new school. I doubt one can learn effectively if one is isolated because of depression.

By the way, your child can get free VP from Soreson or the likes so she can keep in touch with her deaf friends that also have VP. One requirement is that you have a high speed internet (not the slowpoke dial-up). Perfect for her to keep in touch with friends since you don't drive.

 

[shel90]

The school doesnt have the right to take her back. Did u get a copy of the parents' rights and procedures handbook in any of your IEP meetings? If so, see if there is anything about this issue and what your rights are? By law, the school is required to give u a copy of the handbook.

 

[deafdyke]

Definitly stick with the current placement. Her orgional school prolly just wants her back b/c she'll bring money. They'll take her back and just give her minimal accomondations.
Argue that the gross majority of mainstreamed dhh kids have significent social-emotional issues. Say that by being with dhh peers, that could be a way of avoiding the social emotional issues that come up with being hoh or "different" in a mainstream/whitebread/Stepford suburban school.
You may want to check out this book: Alone in the Mainstream
It has A LOT of the info you're seeking. The author is a professor at Gally....you may want to e-mail her.....
I'll see if I can't dig up her e-mail addy, as well as a listserv for parents of dhh kids that may prove helpful.

 

[MomToDeafChild]

Thanks everyone! I'll check the procedural handbook and see what it says. We know the only reason they want her back is because of money. The supervisor tells me the current program is too expensive EVERY single time she talks to me! I kind of feel like they are not even interested in what I have to say, they are going to go ahead with whatever they want. The services they can offer will not meet her needs, in my opinion, but they seem to think I'll go along with it anyway...

 

[shel90]

Thanks everyone! I'll check the procedural handbook and see what it says. We know the only reason they want her back is because of money. The supervisor tells me the current program is too expensive EVERY single time she talks to me! I kind of feel like they are not even interested in what I have to say, they are going to go ahead with whatever they want. The services they can offer will not meet her needs, in my opinion, but they seem to think I'll go along with it anyway...

Please do take a look in the handbook ...if there is nothing there about this situation, u can get a lawyer for a consultation for your rights.

 

[Bebonang]

Oh boy, it sounds like forcing you to send your child to go back to the old school which you don't want to. Right now you are happy with the current school better than the old school. You have a right to make that decision where your child is needed to attend a special school for the Deaf education, not in a oral method program. If nothing works plus the handbook from the school, then by George, get a lawyer to speak for your rights. Forcing is a no-no and it is not freedom. I hate that when I was forced to attend mainstream oral schools many years ago. Ugh! :roll:

 

[MomToDeafChild]

Neither of the placements are special schools for Deaf education, they are both just regular mainstream schools. The only difference is the current placement has a great program for the Deaf so that the deaf children can successfully integrate into the mainstream, while the home school district has NO services. The home school's idea of placement for a deaf child is stuffing them all into a self-contained mixed disabilities class so they have to do the least with them. Her primary method of communication is speech, but she also needs lipreading and sign in school in order to compete in the school curriculum (which she does very well).

Because the current placement is expensive, the home school has decided they can provide the same services she receives now, but at the home school, in which case the home school would become the LRE.

I do not think it is though because of a slew of factors. And one of those is that she has deaf peers at the current placement, but will be the only deaf child at the new placement. She will be completely isolated.

I can't argue the issue based on method of communication because I'm not saying she's primarily a signing child so needs to be around the other deaf children for that. I've always argued that she is an oral child so needed to be in an oral environment, with appropriate services. I will be arguing that she is an oral deaf child who needs to have access to deaf peers for socialization/isolation issues, and how being the only deaf child in a mainstream setting will affect her.

Does that make any sense, lol?

 

[Lighthouse77]

it make perfectly sense. Everyone needs a friend during hard time or a sense of belonging.

btw, I was an oral severe HOH person in mainstreamed school. I was the only one there. feeling alone does backfire because I was depressed about the situation in my entire Junior AND high school years (including elementary school too. I never had a deaf friend before and I still don't) To make it worst, I had people making fun of me and I was alone in my own battle.

 

[faire_jour]

Again, I don't think the IEP has a section for "self esteem". I don't think you can argue that you want signing peers for social reasons and hearing peers for language. I'm sorry I'm being so negative, but I think you need to fing another "angle" for your argument. Are there actual services that they provide that the home district can't? You need to focus on points in the law that support you, not emotions.

 

[doubletrouble]

Again, I don't think the IEP has a section for "self esteem". I don't think you can argue that you want signing peers for social reasons and hearing peers for language. I'm sorry I'm being so negative, but I think you need to fing another "angle" for your argument. Are there actual services that they provide that the home district can't? You need to focus on points in the law that support you, not emotions.

Unfortunately, I agree with that and in today's budget cuts- they aren't always going to do what's in the child's best interest. With the economy the way it is, everyone is getting hit and looking for ways to save money.

 

[deafdyke]

Again, I don't think the IEP has a section for "self esteem".

No, but it very often has a section for social-emotional development. This isn't some parent yapping that their kid needs an award for being the Best Blue Colorer. Social emotional development is an area that is very neglected with mainstreamed to the max dhh kids.
You could argue that her current placement could contribuate to proper social-emotional development, which in turn could head off some emotional problems later on. (for example I do think that a lot of my current social emotional issues have their roots from being a mainstreamed to the max kid)

 

[faire_jour]

No, but it very often has a section for social-emotional development. This isn't some parent yapping that their kid needs an award for being the Best Blue Colorer. Social emotional development is an area that is very neglected with mainstreamed to the max dhh kids.
You could argue that her current placement could contribuate to proper social-emotional development, which in turn could head off some emotional problems later on. (for example I do think that a lot of my current social emotional issues have their roots from being a mainstreamed to the max kid)

You would have to show that they have a disability that has rendered them delayed in their social-emotional developement and then you would be able to write goals to help them make progress in that area. None of that is true here. You need to be realistic and work within the parameters of the law. I agree with the mom in theory but the law doesn't, sorry.

 

[deafbajagal]

The core issue is "Least Restrictive Environment" or "LRE."

Programming should be designed to meet your child's individualized needs. Why is having like peers so important for deaf children? Because of LRE.

I spent a great deal of my time in regular (if not in Gifted and Talented) classes with all hearing peers and with very miminal accommodations. The only accommodation that was provided was a Phonetic Trainer (remember those? Gawd) and the only modification was for the teacher to keep her lips visible for me to speechread.

I got nearly straight A's...I was in gifted classes...and I was enrolled in a lot of student organizations. Yet, that placement was inappropriate was it failed to meet one of my needs - socialization.

You see, I can speak clearly...and I can follow through a lot of conversations. But, I am still deaf. No matter how hard I try to fit in and mesh in, I'm still deaf. And it would be days, weeks even, that pass before I spoke to or with one single person in the entire day.

I smiled often at school and appeared happy...after all, that was expected. But deep down, I was in pain...I was angry and bitter. I resented my peers, my parents, my teachers.

I got admitted to the residental school for the deaf, but their academic programming did not meet my needs...so I ended up going to college part time. However, the socialization was priceless.

I learned things that no one taught me. I could quote Shakespeare and I had published poems before I was 12...yet I had no idea until I attended the deaf school how to order from McDonald's. Seriously.

I thought you showed up, they ask for a price, and then they picked what you ate. I had no idea my mother "ordered" for us.

I learned how to laugh over dinner over a joke I actually understood. That is totally amazing.

Balance is the key to making sure your child has the programming s/he needs. If they complain of costs for keeping the program, you can remind them the costs they will pay in due process and court fees.

 

[shel90]

The core issue is "Least Restrictive Environment" or "LRE."

Programming should be designed to meet your child's individualized needs. Why is having like peers so important for deaf children? Because of LRE.

I spent a great deal of my time in regular (if not in Gifted and Talented) classes with all hearing peers and with very miminal accommodations. The only accommodation that was provided was a Phonetic Trainer (remember those? Gawd) and the only modification was for the teacher to keep her lips visible for me to speechread.

I got nearly straight A's...I was in gifted classes...and I was enrolled in a lot of student organizations. Yet, that placement was inappropriate was it failed to meet one of my needs - socialization.

You see, I can speak clearly...and I can follow through a lot of conversations. But, I am still deaf. No matter how hard I try to fit in and mesh in, I'm still deaf. And it would be days, weeks even, that pass before I spoke to or with one single person in the entire day.

I smiled often at school and appeared happy...after all, that was expected. But deep down, I was in pain...I was angry and bitter. I resented my peers, my parents, my teachers.

I got admitted to the residental school for the deaf, but their academic programming did not meet my needs...so I ended up going to college part time. However, the socialization was priceless.

I learned things that no one taught me. I could quote Shakespeare and I had published poems before I was 12...yet I had no idea until I attended the deaf school how to order from McDonald's. Seriously.

I thought you showed up, they ask for a price, and then they picked what you ate. I had no idea my mother "ordered" for us.

I learned how to laugh over dinner over a joke I actually understood. That is totally amazing.

Balance is the key to making sure your child has the programming s/he needs. If they complain of costs for keeping the program, you can remind them the costs they will pay in due process and court fees.

I learned the same thing..just smile and appear to be happy so nobody could see the pain I was experiencing day in and day out.

 

[Mountain Man]

What are the words I want to use here to explain that while it is important for her to have good speech/hearing peers, it is just as important for her to have Deaf peers?

Find yourself a good a parent mentor. When my wife and I recently went through the IEP process for our deaf son, we contacted our local Deaf school who put us in contact with their former principal. Her input in the meetings was invaluable because she knew exactly how to word things -- this wasn't exactly her first IEP meeting -- and the school district officials recognized her as an authority which is important because, as I'm sure you're aware, parental input is so easily dismissed in the IEP process, but with her speaking on our behalf, our voices were heard.

That's the best advice I can give you.