how do you handle a child with...

EyesBlueDeaf

EyesBlueDeaf

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how do you handle a child or children with a.d.h.d with o.d.d. (oppositional defiant disorder)? Would love to hear from you.
 
EyesBlueDeaf said:
how do you handle a child or children with a.d.h.d with o.d.d. (oppositional defiant disorder)? Would love to hear from you.
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Its tough. Lots of behavior modification, for one. Working with the diability instead of against it, using the child's strengths. ADHD si actually a disorder with a biological base. ODD is a mental health dx and responds well to therapy. They are two different diagnoses,however, and require different approaches, even though some of the behaviors are the same.
 
jillio said:
Its tough. Lots of behavior modification, for one. Working with the diability instead of against it, using the child's strengths. ADHD si actually a disorder with a biological base. ODD is a mental health dx and responds well to therapy. They are two different diagnoses,however, and require different approaches, even though some of the behaviors are the same.
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Just curious.. How do you know about the diagnosis? Do you live with one ? work with one ? Or from reading? I'm living with one and it is daily struggle for me & my partner. We have tried so many things including therapies, one-one group sessions, several psychologists and psychaitrists for the past 2 or 3 years. Most of the times, we felt that the medications aren't doing anything. She can be a sweet child one minute then the next minute a monster / terrorizer..
I just need to hear from other parents who are experiencing the same thing.. and would like to form a discussion group here to support eachother.
 
I has an ADD child. I work together with 2 therapies for over 2 years and receive a lot of tips from them. My son is teenager and didn't show his problematic behavior very much and calm more and more than before. Without help, he would go bad path and have severe problematic behavior.

First of all, the doctor confirmed that it´s hyperactive what I suspected an earlier so he send him to therapy to train to improve his behavior..... I accompanlied him to there for over 2 years. I received alot of tips there to improve my son´s behavior.

You should ot give a hyper child any candies, cokes, lollies, any sweets after 2pm.....

Junk foods need to cut down and also sweet, too.

Why?

Because any sweets and sweetners addifical makes the children wild & sleep problems, that's why the children need calm down...

If you put your child in bedtime at 8 pm, it means that his LAST watch TV or play the computer game is 7.00 pm. Your child need 1 hour break from TV or computer to calm his emotion down is play the game with parents or siblings -something like that hide or run & catch for the fun.... throw each other with old pillows. You can look spare room for play.... We often throw each other with pillow for the fun which it´s good for get out of aggressive, wild etc.

Go sport to get aggressive out of child's chest which it´s good for them.

More patience with him.

More time & give child attention & love.

It´s very hard to turn TV or computer off because my sons used to watch till 8pm but I stay hard & listen therapy´s tip. It took a week to get over then he used it now. I recorded his favorite movies for him (video) then he can watch it on next day.

I know most children at puberty time between 12 and 15 years old, then again from 18 to 21 years old. I know it´s not very easy to bring the child like this up.

I hope my tips would be help you but you need to be patience then it will take you ages to get over.

Good Luck
 
I didn't have any children myself, but I know someone who is ADHD. He took the bag of sugar and globbing all the sugar to make him very hyper and it's kinda annoying. He is not my friend, he's my best friend's brother, I do still remember my best friend told him "Can you please go away?". I can see it's tough to have a ADHD child.

Also other my best friend has ADHD but he seems can control it unless he drinks or get stone, he goes crazy, sometimes I have to take him in control.

ADHD people is not really bad, but just need to learn how to control it themselves that's all.
 
I read 2 books "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. and "The Defiant Child - A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder" by Dr. Douglas A. Riley. Their suggestions seemed to work well... only for a short time. Now my partner and I are back to 'square one'. We had tried to cut back her candies and starch.. She would find ways to get them by getting from her friends, neighbors, etc... She's only 6 1/2 yrs old and is a very strong person (physically).. and can beat the s*** out of my oldest daughter and us, too. We all are just plain tired of her explosive and manipulative behaviors.
 
I am total speechless... Your post sound that your condition is much worst than mine. She need professional help.

Have you thought anything about medication on her?

For your information, I am much against medication but on your condition, I think she needs medical help.
 
As for the getting candy from others, buy her a MedicAlert type bracelet. Warn that she's allergic to (pick any ingred commonly found in candies.) Say she's diabetic (thus making people assume she cannot have sugar) It might seem cruel, but it'd stop people from being as likely to offer her those things.

As for the behavioural problems, get her psychological treatment. It's not something you can change at home, promise. Doing an IOP, day hospital, or inpatient program will help her a great deal- she needs the control taken AWAY from her in a detailed way no household can manage. Only way she'll change.
 
Aleser said:
As for the getting candy from others, buy her a MedicAlert type bracelet. Warn that she's allergic to (pick any ingred commonly found in candies.) Say she's diabetic (thus making people assume she cannot have sugar) It might seem cruel, but it'd stop people from being as likely to offer her those things.

As for the behavioural problems, get her psychological treatment. It's not something you can change at home, promise. Doing an IOP, day hospital, or inpatient program will help her a great deal- she needs the control taken AWAY from her in a detailed way no household can manage. Only way she'll change.
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Ah, it won't be that easy. She would find a way to get candy.
What is "IOP"? We're placing her in group therapy sessions with other kids who have same diagnosis.
 
I work daily with young kids and my daughter is ADHD as well as my brother and father --liebling's advice was very good - I found those tecniques worked well for me-
Remember you are the parent and you need to be in control of the situation, the child will act out if they sense you are not in control
You need to show them how to act and behave-you need to be calm, when I am stressed in my own life, I find my daughter acts out more
Lots of sleep (11-12 hours a night for the 6-10 year olds)
I would put my kids in bed at 7 and let them keep the light on for an hour or a half hour - they could read or draw but could not be out of bed or active or watching any tv or computer (the result was that now my kids love to read)
Lots of predictable routine at home and plenty of physical activity (sports, playground ect.) is very important
We signed up for this job - so now we need to give it our all while it matters, when they get to their teens it will be too late
good luck!
 
its tough question for me!

if i have children one days and i will read about children have dignosis with any types because my mom is nurse and she know what means to words but im sure i wanted my own children have safety as healthy.

IF i have deaf children one days i would acceptance to raise to sign with me and also if i have hearing children they will learn sign languages with me more wise learn but im been only deaf for longtimes since i was baby at ages 10 month old but my family is hearing and my grandma,aunt,parents,brother, learn to sign that would be so good!
 
My brother (not my deaf one..my hearing one) has the same behavioral issues like u described here. He is 18 years old now and still struggles with controlling his outburts..My dad and stepmom have taken him to numerous therapy sessions, put him on meds, and had him sent to boarding school but nothing worked. Turned out that he had bipolar disorder as well and they just diagnosed it last year. Now he is on the correct medication and is handling his job and his own place pretty good so far.

I would watch her very closely. I work with children who have ADD or ADDHD but it is nothing compared to being a parent of a child with that disorder.

I think the other AD members have great suggestions.
 
You can try this, but I bet you and your partner are going to be very tired and sore later on. Well, my mom is a special education teacher. She has ADD and ADHD students. She encourages her parents to excerise their kids before coming to her class. She seems to find that kids who recieve more excerises tend to handle easier. Why? I don't know.. It seems like when these kids get a good workout, they become more calm and focus better.

When you are excersing with her, it has to be family time together. Going for bike rides with your daughter and your partner for an hour or so. You can buy a soccer ball and play. You can enroll her in a gymnastic class, or ice skating class. Get her a good mental and physical workout, it should get her adhd or add under control. Try to encourage her to jog or run more until she starts to pant. You know she's tired and want to have water. Sit and relax. Now your daughter is too tired to bother you with anything.
 
EyesBlueDeaf said:
I read 2 books "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. and "The Defiant Child - A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder" by Dr. Douglas A. Riley. Their suggestions seemed to work well... only for a short time. Now my partner and I are back to 'square one'. We had tried to cut back her candies and starch.. She would find ways to get them by getting from her friends, neighbors, etc... She's only 6 1/2 yrs old and is a very strong person (physically).. and can beat the s*** out of my oldest daughter and us, too. We all are just plain tired of her explosive and manipulative behaviors.
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Ouch, she need be send to children mental hospital.
 
Damn, Children with ADD is VERY diffcult to take care it, I have sister that she's ADD and she don't done with homework and chore like clean up the her room and not take care of bathroom. She had bad grade on report card and she is going to be 9th grade again in this fall, my parent is very upset about her, also they had punished her but not work.

She don't listen to their rule, she had drove the car so illegal, no real license and no insurance then my parent was pissed off and punish her so hard, she don't learn her lesson, it has been happen about few time. I'm with parent because i'm worried if she is in car accident then parent can get sued.

I hate my sister, I got away from her shit, even I had heard about ALOT of stories from my parent, I told my parent that they are work so hard to take care of her. :(

They are considering about send my sister to boarding school if she don't well at school.
 
EyesBlueDeaf said:
Just curious.. How do you know about the diagnosis? Do you live with one ? work with one ? Or from reading? I'm living with one and it is daily struggle for me & my partner. We have tried so many things including therapies, one-one group sessions, several psychologists and psychaitrists for the past 2 or 3 years. Most of the times, we felt that the medications aren't doing anything. She can be a sweet child one minute then the next minute a monster / terrorizer..
I just need to hear from other parents who are experiencing the same thing.. and would like to form a discussion group here to support eachother.
Click to expand...

Actually, I am a professional couselor, and work with children with all forms of diagnosis. And I did beleive I said it was difficult. Does your child have a diagnosis of ADD or ODD? Or both?
 
Ok, I am no expert.. But I did play a bad kid when I was young..So.. I'll go ahead and lay my life history on the table..

I was diagnosed with ADHD & ODD as well... I moved between private and public schools the entire time I was growing up due to the fact that I was kicked out of most every school I was able to attend.. (the worst was in 5th grade where I was kicked out of 3 schools in one year).. Looking back on the whole situation.. there were probably many factors to my acting out..

The first was I was never challenged as a kid.. from being mainstreamed to specialized private schools.. I ran the gamut of various schools and learning techniques.. but in the end.. it always ended up bad.. I would refuse to do homework saying that I already knew what they were wanting and refused to do meaningless tasks.. I always did VERY well on tests.. but I never realized what homework was really about until much later in life.. (beyond the point of where I was still in school)

There were also alot of parental and family issues in my life as well... My parents split up while I was still young (age 5) but even before that point I never got to know my father very well .. Then my mother remarried a slime of a person.. needless to say.. he never took much of a liking to me.. and would abuse my physically until my mid teens.. but that stopped very fast after I broke his knee with a baseball bat and told him if he touched me again I would kill him.. I think he said about 3 things to me after that.. .. after that incident I was sent to live with my father ..

Which brings me to the third and possibly main reason for all of this anger.. Lack of a father figure.. After I went to live with my father.. things calmed down a bit although by that time it was way to late to salvage any sort of hope from my academic life.. so I quit school soon after I entered High School.. got my GED and started working with my father. He really taught me alot..and gave me something to look forward to in life.. I can go on and on about him.. but thats for another time.. I will say that he taught me the one thing that has shaped my life and that was "The only thing in life no one can take away from you, is an education".

From all of this.. I can give you a few bits of advice..

1. Challenge that child.. everything she does.. Give her something to look up to in life.. something to strive for.. something meaningful to her..

2. try to give her an outlet for her anger.. martial arts maybe? Team sports? Try to do these activities together if possible.. not only would it be alot of fun and great fitness..but you can re-enforce this good time you have together by reminding her from time to time about different things you have learned during that week.. Or let her remind you.. Just having shared experiences will be good for her.

3. Get her involved with good...caring counselors.. I know at first this would seem to be very easy to do.. as most all counselors are caring.. but they may not all be good. As the saying goes.. what do you call the person who graduated medical school last in their class?? Doctor! Meds work, but do not rely on them to be a magic pill.. they really do not work like that (in my opinion anyways) while I realized when I was young that it did help me concentrate.. it only worked IF I wanted to concentrate.

4. Do not give up on her.! EVER!

5.Do not be afraid to lay the law down if she acts out.. tell her what will happen depending on the severity of the outburst.. write it all down.. and stick to it! no more.. especially no less!!!

6. If something does not work.. do not stick with it... for yours and her sake.. I found that I would either become interested in it immediately.. or found no interest in it.. and If she finds no interest in it.. she will not keep with it.

7. I forgot to mention.. do not hide your feelings about what she is doing. If you are angry.. tell her.. If you are sad.. its ok to cry in front of her.. maybe showing her true emotions instead of hiding them will allow her to be able to share with you what she truly feels..
I had a very good friend who was also a terp for the local church.. I was probably 16 at the time and talked with her about which parent I should spend christmas with that year (they both asked me a few hours from each other).. my mother (who lived 1000+ miles away) or my father?.. That was the first time in my life I ever broke down in front of another person.. and I think that looking back on the situation it was not the fact that I had to make such a hard choice.. but I realized that both of my parents really loved me..

I can go on in great detail about what its like on both ends of this relationship.. one side more then the other though.. but If you would like some other ideas.. please send me a PM and I can give you my email address if necessary. Or, If you wish I can just post it here.. Hopefully sheading a bit on my life growing up.. will allow you to help this child..

Good Luck ! You will need it!
 
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