HOH story

90sWizKid, my parents used to do the same crap too, the panicking when I wouldn't immediately answer the phone or whatever. I eventually told them, "Listen. I'm an adult. I'm no more likely to be found dead in my home than you are. Stop panicking and calling me 25 times because I don't answer the phone when you think I should. If you don't stop this behavior, I will just stop answering the phone period because no one needs to be treated like a child once they are responsible adults." They stopped when I stopped reacting to their freak-outs and I wouldn't call them back right away anymore.

The problem with families "forgetting" is really prevalent in families where the person with hearing loss has some hearing and can hold conversations with family with a minimum of difficulty. They think that well, this person could talk to me and understand everything, that means that they can hear what I can hear! The fact is, that conversation can be held without the person understanding a whole bunch of words that were said, and they definitely don't hear what everyone else hears. It took my husband a very long time to get an idea of what I could hear and what I couldn't hear, and he was actively trying. Families don't generally think to do that because of familiarity.

The only one in my family, however, who did this to me was my mother, and she'd do things deliberately like talk to me without getting my attention first because she was in denial about my being deaf, and she'd also get seriously angry when I couldn't understand her because she really thought I was pretending that it was worse and doing it intentionally to make her angry. Her behavior while pregnant with me was a huge possible cause for it) and I think she also took some perverse pleasure in watching me struggle. Nope, we don't have a good relationship.
 
little thing happened to me today...I work part-time at a holistic pet supply shop. I went there to pick up my check so I could deposit it in the bank today.
One of the other staff asked me if I had some time to help a person who was getting some raw, freeze-dried dog treats; she had a dog who had some other issues. I'm a big proponent of raw and fresh foods for dogs and cats and if I do have time, like to help people shopping there even if I'm not actually working that day, but may be there for myself to shop, or for a talk <they have presentations>. So the lady had her stuff and she was turned away from me and said something about her dog does not -need? eat? -something dog food. I focused on what I thought might be the key words and I waved in her line of site, trying to get her to look at me and asked - did you say "eat" or did you say "need"? signing EAT and signing NEED. She stopped looking away and faced me and repeated. I helped her out, it was good, she was happy. Sometimes neither is the case. Oh well.
 
:-(

kinda sad to read these. I've lived my whole life with my hearing loss, so it isn't obvious knowing what I have missed out on. The older I get, the more things I realized I probably missed.

One of the things I find most challenging is deciding to grapple with the parts of what someone said that I didn't hear or just live with what I was able to decipher. Usually, it is the very first part of what they say, or it is something where the speaker slurs/mumbles as they finish a sentence.

If I don't say anything, they assume I heard it all correctly. If I do say something, then in addition to the frustration of not having what they said be understood, I am asking them (and me!) to take 5 times as long to repeat things over and over until I understand what was said. Usually it is just a few key words in a sentence. The one thing that irritates me SO much is when a person repeats what they said, which is appreciated, but changes it from what they originally said so I never actually get the precise words that were said the first time.

I wish I could hold up a neon sign over my head that essentially tells people to:
1. Always repeat EXACTLY what you said if you are going to repeat something for me.
2. Do not repeat something 5 times as loud as the first time, but at the same rate. Instead, repeat it the same volume, but at about 1/5 the rate, and pause between each word.
3. Hit those consonants with a sledgehammer, baby! Crack the windows with your T's, K's, P's D's, and B's, etc. If you're not getting bruises on your tongue and lips, I'm probably not hearing your consonants.
 
CyberMike said:
:-(

kinda sad to read these. I've lived my whole life with my hearing loss, so it isn't obvious knowing what I have missed out on. The older I get, the more things I realized I probably missed.

One of the things I find most challenging is deciding to grapple with the parts of what someone said that I didn't hear or just live with what I was able to decipher. Usually, it is the very first part of what they say, or it is something where the speaker slurs/mumbles as they finish a sentence.

If I don't say anything, they assume I heard it all correctly. If I do say something, then in addition to the frustration of not having what they said be understood, I am asking them (and me!) to take 5 times as long to repeat things over and over until I understand what was said. Usually it is just a few key words in a sentence. The one thing that irritates me SO much is when a person repeats what they said, which is appreciated, but changes it from what they originally said so I never actually get the precise words that were said the first time.

I wish I could hold up a neon sign over my head that essentially tells people to:
1. Always repeat EXACTLY what you said if you are going to repeat something for me.
2. Do not repeat something 5 times as loud as the first time, but at the same rate. Instead, repeat it the same volume, but at about 1/5 the rate, and pause between each word.
3. Hit those consonants with a sledgehammer, baby! Crack the windows with your T's, K's, P's D's, and B's, etc. If you're not getting bruises on your tongue and lips, I'm probably not hearing your consonants.
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I will have trouble understand a word and a person repeat the word by yelling it at me over the phone or repeat the word over and over.
I will have to tell the person to use another word that mean the same and not to yell at me as it does not help , it only hurts my ear! I was on phone today and I told a woman I was HOH and asked was her first was and I did not understand it so I had her spell it, and she did really fast. I had to tell her again I am HOH and it's hard to understand letters on the phone. So she started to use big long words for each letter . The woman was totally clueless to what I was telling her about how hard understand on the phone.
I really hate talking to new people on the phone.
 
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