Hi...Late Deafened Person

aikifrodogrrl

aikifrodogrrl

New Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2004
Messages
25
Reaction score
0
Hi,

I'm new. I started losing my hearing when I was young cuz of a high fever when I had chicken pox. There is much hearing loss in my family too. However my parents would not get me hearing aids. Now I am an adult and have lost more hearing. I am getting HA's next week. (Phonak Amio ITEs to try maybe getting more powerful BTE's later).

I am nervous about eventually going deaf. I dont think deaf is bad or anything. Its just a bit scarey for me. Luckily I have taken four terms of ASL and can communicate pretty good. Mostly, I feel between worlds. I feel kind of lost. My parents are mad at me for learning sign and getting hearing aids. It makes me sad.

I just dont where I belong. Anyways thanks for letting me vent :)
 
Your Parent shouldn't be mad at you for learning ASL and getting a hearing aid, Your Parent need to learn to cope with your hearing loss and your needs.

If your parent seems to get mad just because you choose those needs for you then that is their problem not yours. You only doing what is best for you.


Beside welcome to AllDeaf, Feel free to make a thread asking us questions we would be more than glad to help you get answers.


I think you are doing the right thing, It is what you want is important not what other wants like your parent for example. Ugh sometimes parent just do not know what best for their own children when they do not walk their mile in their shoes.
 
Hi aikifrodogrrl, welcome to AllDeaf and enjoy your stay here.... P.S. can you give some advice to Ravensteve here, he's becoming deaf at age of 43 and he need helps... good day
 
Welcome to AllDeaf! Enjoy your stay! :thumb:

I understand how you feel on that issue. Some parents are afraid of their children going separate ways. My parents still haven't learned ASL. They only know a few home signs. This reminds me of a story I heard in one of my classes at college. This woman was living out in the woods. She was murdered and the only other person there was her deaf son. That made him a suspect. However, they couldn't do anything to him but put him in a mental hospital. They couldn't communicate with him in any way. He never had hearing aids, never talked, never read, never wrote, never signed... NOTHING. Because of that, they couldn't just give him hearing aids and get him to hear because he wouldn't recognize the sounds. They couldn't get him to talk because he never talked. They couldn't get him to read anything they asked because he can't read. They couldn't get him to write anything because he never learned. They couldn't use any sign language interpreters because he didn't know how to sign. He was just a deaf, mute, and illiterate guy living in the woods.

You're very lucky to be able to sign, talk, read, write, and understand a lot of things. You got it all before you might become fully deaf. Be happy that you got it all. Not many people get these chances. :thumb:
 
I am so lucky

Hi everyone,

I have thought about it and I feel very lucky. I have a job that will accomadate me. I have good friends and a wonderful partner, who is now learning ASL. The funny thing is I'm not scared about losing my hearing. I am still me. (I know sounds lame) I live near Gallaudet University and so there are lots of resources near me. I can still go into science and go to college. I am very fortunate. This is just part of my wonderful wacky life. Some days suck and some are cool and some days really really suck. Just like anyone.

I actually feel really good right now.

Happy New Year....May this year be better than the last and may each be better after that :roll:
 
What was your parents reason for not wanting you to
have hearing aids and learn ASL ?
 
aikifrodogrrl said:
Hi,

I'm new. I started losing my hearing when I was young cuz of a high fever when I had chicken pox. There is much hearing loss in my family too. However my parents would not get me hearing aids. Now I am an adult and have lost more hearing. I am getting HA's next week. (Phonak Amio ITEs to try maybe getting more powerful BTE's later).

I am nervous about eventually going deaf. I dont think deaf is bad or anything. Its just a bit scarey for me. Luckily I have taken four terms of ASL and can communicate pretty good. Mostly, I feel between worlds. I feel kind of lost. My parents are mad at me for learning sign and getting hearing aids. It makes me sad.

I just dont where I belong. Anyways thanks for letting me vent :)
Click to expand...

oh my goodness!! you are an adult and responsible for your own life.. they need to learn to accept you for who you are and cope with it.. there is nothing wrong with getting hearing aids and learning asl.. you have to do what MAKES YOU HAPPY.. not your parents.. and yes this is a very confusing time for you.. but once you have gotten your hearing aids, become fluent in asl and met more deafies (your peers).. you will feel better about yourself and have a sense about yourself as well (feel free by no longer feeling lost).. and probably get the best of both worlds like i do..

it is ok to vent out dear.. we are here to support you.. there are some people who became deaf at late age in here too.. you will meet some and share your experiences with them.. most of them have taken it very well except for one guy.. he refuses to accept that he lost his hearing which is sad and he is fighting his fear and fighting against us too.. but he is a very well spoken man.. i have enjoyed some of his posts.. other than his arrogant attitude.... maybe you can talk some sense into him.. i doubt it will work cuz most of us have tried to reason with him.. he is just as stubborn as a BOLT!! GRRR....

welcome aboard and happy 2005 by the way!! :applause:
 
Last edited:
why my parents dont want me to know asl and get hearing aids

Hey all,

My parents are um embarrased. They want me to be a perfect girl. They have their visions of our family. Instead of the perfect child, they got an HOH queer wild child. They have explained to me I dont "fit". I dont belong. IF I have HA's and use ASL I fit even less. Kind of strange considering I have a long history of HOH/Deaf people in my family going back generations (all of my immediate family is hearing). This is why I never got HA's or anything.

When I had a commitment ceremony with my partner, no one from my family showed, except one cousin and my older brother. My older brother on, the other hand, is a genius with a wife, two kids, house etc etc. They always talk about him.

You know I'm an adult I have a job, a partner, I'm completely self-sufficent. I am certainly not ashamed of being HOH, and if go completely Deaf (which is likely) I will still be proud of myself. It doesnt hurt as much as it used to. but it still sucks sometimes for them to treat me like this.

Thanks for letting me rant.
 
you do what's best for you and the hell with them! It really bothers me when parents pull this kind of crap on their kids.
 
aikifrodogrrl said:
Hey all,

My parents are um embarrased. They want me to be a perfect girl. They have their visions of our family. Instead of the perfect child, they got an HOH queer wild child. They have explained to me I dont "fit". I dont belong. IF I have HA's and use ASL I fit even less. Kind of strange considering I have a long history of HOH/Deaf people in my family going back generations (all of my immediate family is hearing). This is why I never got HA's or anything.

When I had a commitment ceremony with my partner, no one from my family showed, except one cousin and my older brother. My older brother on, the other hand, is a genius with a wife, two kids, house etc etc. They always talk about him.

You know I'm an adult I have a job, a partner, I'm completely self-sufficent. I am certainly not ashamed of being HOH, and if go completely Deaf (which is likely) I will still be proud of myself. It doesnt hurt as much as it used to. but it still sucks sometimes for them to treat me like this.

Thanks for letting me rant.
Click to expand...


MY GOD!!! THE NERVE OF YOUR PARENTS TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DONT FIT??? I AM GONNA :barf:!! i would tell them to go to hell! no offense but.. i dont appreciate them talking down on you! man!

so you have the right to be hurt and vent out!! feel free to do that at anytime.. we are here for you and to support you too.. :madfawk: screw your parents.. :rl: sheesh!

another thing.. i dont remember but is your partner hearing or what?? and if this really bothers you... then why bother with them? and feel like shit everytime you see them?? CUZ that is not UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!! .. SHEESH!
i really feel for you.. gosh.. i really appreciate my parents more now.. they are A ROYAL PITAs but they are my wonderful parents cuz they love me UNCONDITIONALLY no matter what... (sigh)
 
Last edited:
Hello Aikifrodogrrl
I too am new to the group and late deafened. I first knew of my hearing loss sometime in my late 20s but I had never mentioned it to anyone never had hearing aids and I just gotton use to being this way. Now I have profound loss in my right side and moderate loss in my left. Had an audiogram today there is bone and nerve damange on the right will be fitted for my HA's sometime this week. I do not feel as if I fit in most groups I guess because I can not keep up with what is being said. People feel as if I am rude which hurts @ times and the friends I do have get anoyed when I ask them to repeat themselves more then once. I have a good career and will be going back to school this month. Maybe I will be able to use this for the good of many. I will also be taking ASL. (is it hard to learn asl? ) I also sugested that my children teach their children because I will be deaf and they should be ready for that.
 
Myheartloves said:
Hello Aikifrodogrrl
I too am new to the group and late deafened. I first knew of my hearing loss sometime in my late 20s but I had never mentioned it to anyone never had hearing aids and I just gotton use to being this way. Now I have profound loss in my right side and moderate loss in my left. Had an audiogram today there is bone and nerve damange on the right will be fitted for my HA's sometime this week. I do not feel as if I fit in most groups I guess because I can not keep up with what is being said. People feel as if I am rude which hurts @ times and the friends I do have get anoyed when I ask them to repeat themselves more then once. I have a good career and will be going back to school this month. Maybe I will be able to use this for the good of many. I will also be taking ASL. (is it hard to learn asl? ) I also sugested that my children teach their children because I will be deaf and they should be ready for that.
Click to expand...

yea i know it sucks.. thats why i dont bother asking them to repeat things sometimes cuz they get annoyed.. :ugh: and it does hurt.. so i empathize with you.. (sigh)
 
My partner is kewl

Hi everyone,

My partner is great. She is learning ASL now, and took up cued speech as a quick way to communicate with me. I mean it doesnt replace sign, but its great when you want to know the specials at the restaurant. She knows more about HA's than I do. Her brother and her mom are HOH, so she knows about it. She's offered to help pay for my HA's. Even her mom is great. She gives me all sorts off advice about stuff.

I dont see my bio family much at all anymore. I mean it hurts, but I cant go around being depressed all the time either. I need to have my own life. I h ope to become a nurse (hey if you can have a Deaf doctor why not a nurse) and work with Deaf/HOH people. I dont have time to be all sad.

My biological family sucks, but my created family totally rocks. So I figure family isn't about biology but about love.

:dj: :ily:
 
aikifrodogrrl said:
Hi everyone,

My partner is great. She is learning ASL now, and took up cued speech as a quick way to communicate with me. I mean it doesnt replace sign, but its great when you want to know the specials at the restaurant. She knows more about HA's than I do. Her brother and her mom are HOH, so she knows about it. She's offered to help pay for my HA's. Even her mom is great. She gives me all sorts off advice about stuff.

I dont see my bio family much at all anymore. I mean it hurts, but I cant go around being depressed all the time either. I need to have my own life. I h ope to become a nurse (hey if you can have a Deaf doctor why not a nurse) and work with Deaf/HOH people. I dont have time to be all sad.

My biological family sucks, but my created family totally rocks. So I figure family isn't about biology but about love. <--- you got that RIGHT, GIRL!!

:dj: :ily:
Click to expand...


that is FANTASTIC!!! i am so happy for you!! you got a wonderful partner.. partner's family and dont forget YOU GOT US TOO!! :P

i know someone who is a nurse.. she is hoh... who is also losing her hearing more and more everyday.. if she can do it... then you CAN DO IT TOO!!! GO FOR IT!! :thumb:
 
I am a Nurse and I really enjoy my work. I am going back to school so as I can work in the ER or the Truma Unit.
 
Myheartloves said:
I am a Nurse and I really enjoy my work. I am going back to school so as I can work in the ER or the Truma Unit.
Click to expand...


and you are deaf?? :dunno:
 
Back
Top