Hearing parents accused Deaf parents for being deaf and not good enough?

VanG

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Recently, my daughter got off and went home with pout face. I was at work and get a message from her that she was not having a good day at school. After work, I went home and had a conversation with her. She told me that Ashely (daughter of Hearing parents) told my daughter that we both are not good enough to take care of Ashley because we are deaf. I told her that I will handle this asap. I called Ashley's father (He is lawyer for ADA which I am very and very shock!) and explained situation through Sorenson VRS. Father told me that I am not good enough to take care of Ashley for sleepover party. Interpreter got furious enough but can't get into this. So I shared this to my wife. My wife was so upset and talked to my mother about this situation. So far, I had to go back to clinic to take care of dog with tail chopped off that night. My mother got GUTS to visit Ashley's family for few hours. The next day, I got message from my mother that Ashley can spend the night at my place. I talked to her about situation how she got it solve. She said that they need to give us a chance. Father wants a proof to see that Deaf people can do anything and can handle. So my mother showed them this website. (ALLDEAF.COM) She showed the picture above this with 3 or 4 kids with sign said alldeaf. She asked them that is that good enough? So father read all of post and told my mother that he was so wrong and he thought that all deaf people are no good to hearing world and think they are just alike children. He was so wrong after reading most of threads by deaf people.

Last night, Ashley and VanI (my daughter's name) had a blast time and enjoy the time together as they played phrase 10, telling jokes, ABC sign language, visit my work, and ate a load of pizzas, and went bed with good memory. Today, VanI told me that Ashley called me Cool.

My mother told me that Ashely's father had been reading most of thread on alldeaf.com and TAG.com and never thought that deaf culture is similar as hearing culture. My mother told him that deaf culture is human being as hearing culture.

Geez, I can't believe that He is an atty for ADA but made judgment against Deaf culture. Geez!

MOM---:ty:and :bowdown:
 
I hate when hearing people think deaf people would be bad parents. Deaf can be GREAT parents, just like hearing. There's always going to be "bad parents" everywhere you go, deaf or hearing. I know of plenty of deaf parents who do a great job caring for their own kids. Kids sometime get a bit loud because the deaf parents can't hear them yelling or screaming, but other than that no problem. As long as the parent is mature enough and takes responsibility for their kid(s, nothing wrong with that.

Makes me think of this court case which happened here locally a couple years back, where deaf parents were fighting with their HEARING family to get custody of their own son back (the hearing relatives were trying to say the deaf parents were stupid and couldn't take care of their son properly, that the son is neglected and living in a dirty house, which wasn't true at all). I don't know how this case turned out, but it was sad to read it in the newspaper.
 
:crazy: at hearing family against deaf family. Hope the case overturn into good way.
 
This happens sometimes... where hearing people have misconceptions of what deaf people can or cannot do. :(
 
At least the man had the guts to admit he was wrong ! So rare... Sad that he had the opinion he did in the first place
 
:jaw: at the fact this man is an ADA lawyer! It is a good thing that Alex developed AllDeaf and it sure did help in this situation! Glad everything worked out!
 
:shock:... Hope that hearing father read this post... Tsk.. Tsk!! If He did continue alike that.. Then You can instantly contact to ADA Office to remove him! Because Obviously that he doesn't know about deaf culture and unprofessional! :squint: Pm me that I can give you of my Ada lawyer!! :ugh2:
 
It is possible that he is involved with the defense of those who are accused of violating the ADA, rather than with those who have been discriminated against according to the ADA. That would account for his attitude.

However, I am glad that you were able to give him an example that dispelled his mistaken impression. Thanks to you, his daughter will not grow up with the same mistaken impression that he has held, because you have given her the experience needed to see things from a different perspective. That is a wonderful thing. You have helped, in a very real way, to break that cycle of ignorance. I applaud you, VanG!

And, I am happy as well, that VanI and her friend had a wonderful time, and enjoyed themselves at your home. Despite this father's attitude at the beginning, this has turned out to be a very positive and heartwarming situation in several ways. Way to go!
 
You're not alone...
So am I same thing goes before. Some of Hearing parents thinks we are dsyfunctional Family because Deaf mother and Father are poorly displince towards the children. Likely eh, I asked, What r u looking at us for? Hearing ppl stunned surprised that I can speak it out directly and wonder how can you handle w/children? I gave promptly answer correct thing educational to Hearing ppl. Seems shocked the news what I've spoked. :ugh:
Wha..a.. beautiful touchy?!? Why can't you recognized the Deaf School and just right down the street where is.. Hearing ppl answered " I have no idea". Oh Yeah Right!?

I walk away from them.. Wha..a.. heck they are idiots ? I feel sorry for them not even UNDERSTAND what about Deaf people' cultures. They think feel sorry for us being "DEAF" Don't be!

I cannot remmy when, it was last year or couple years ago. My daughter and I went out for shopping and having fun together... So we were hungry and have nice eat "Food Court area at the mall" Somehow, Strange the people kept stared us for long minutes and making fun of us.. You know what happened my daughter ? *laughing* She stand up and walk apporach to strange people were shooked.. She was angry and talk.. They shocked she can SPEAK.... AREN'T YOU DEAF? My daughter say no.. I'm not.. I'm hearing.. I'm happy w/my Deaf Mom and what your frigg'n problem? They were shut their mouth off not even say anything needless word..

I was laughing so hard and cried and also cannot believe how my daughter really quite good guts speak it out to strange peoples. I can feel understand how children feel hearing about other people think Deaf parent are dumb or else whatever so called.. Children can feel hurt and break their heart.. I really disagree with other people's comment bad remarks!
 
That does happens sometimes,, Hearing people are no better than deaf people. Both makes mistakes and both need to learn from mistakes they make.
 
That does happens sometimes,, Hearing people are no better than deaf people. Both makes mistakes and both need to learn from mistakes they make.

Mistakes? Blah! It s more like hearing look down at deaf people based on the attitude of being superior to interior group.
 
Mistakes? Blah! It s more like hearing look down at deaf people based on the attitude of being superior to interior group.

OH well who cares because deaf look down on hearing people and hearing people look down on deaf peoples and other handicapped. But then again I have seen some deaf people look down on each other trying to act superior attitdue. So we are all human.
 
OH well who cares because deaf look down on hearing people and hearing people look down on deaf peoples and other handicapped. But then again I have seen some deaf people look down on each other trying to act superior attitdue. So we are all human.

Based on your logic, you re saying that it s OK for people to look down on others because we are human?
 
Based on your logic, you re saying that it s OK for people to look down on others because we are human?

Actually, I never said "it was O.K. " to look down. My point is too many people act too cruel. But you think i said okay, then you are surely mistaken. I think you miss my point.
 
Actually, I never said "it was O.K. " to look down. My point is too many people act too cruel. But you think i said okay, then you are surely mistaken. I think you miss my point.

You were implying that the reason why people are looking down other interior people because people are human so they are allow to have mistakes. That is ridiclious.

I think the reason why deaf people are being stigmatized because hearing are just being ignorants or bigots.
 
I think the reason why people are being stigmatized because people are just being ignorants or bigots.

fixed for you. :/

I've seen everyone marginalised. It doesnt matter if it's deaf / hearing, female / male, theist / atheist, gay / straight or whatever. SOME people think the group they belong is "better" because THEY belong to it ! It's not ignorance. Ignorance is when you just don't know. Stupidity is when you know but chose to IGNORE. They're not ignorant and bigots but stupid and bigots.

Only way to cure it is to educate: no one is better than everyone. we all are born, we all communicate, we all love, we all believe something (god, no god, may be god...) and we all eventually die. we're all better than no one because we're all the same.

(sorry. needed a rant!)
 
fixed for you. :/

I've seen everyone marginalised. It doesnt matter if it's deaf / hearing, female / male, theist / atheist, gay / straight or whatever. SOME people think the group they belong is "better" because THEY belong to it ! It's not ignorance. Ignorance is when you just don't know. Stupidity is when you know but chose to IGNORE. They're not ignorant and bigots but stupid and bigots.

Only way to cure it is to educate: no one is better than everyone. we all are born, we all communicate, we all love, we all believe something (god, no god, may be god...) and we all eventually die. we're all better than no one because we're all the same.

(sorry. needed a rant!)

It IS ignorance when one person do not bother to find out more information about other groups. Often you see hearing people asking stupid questions (e.g. "Can deaf person drive?") or hearing people make the assumptions that deaf people can't function like normal people. That is ignorance, my friend.

And yes hearing people sometime are bigots. If they re not, they wouldn't bother trying to "fix" deaf people with hearing devices, speech therapy, etc..
 
Wow I am glad that he got to see AD.com and realized that deaf people are very capable human beings. I too, was shocked when you said he was a ADA lawyer, omg, something tells me he was in it for all the wrong reasons. I hope he has learned from this and changes his attitude for the rest of his life, and not just for one night.

As a parent myself I sometimes wonder if I will run into this same problem when my daughter is old enough for sleepovers. I have already hosted a birthday party with other parents present as well as my hearing mother present.

Kudos once again to AD.com and all the members for setting another ignorant person down the straight and narrow path.

Remember there is a difference between ignorance and stupidity -
Ignorance - not knowing better and messing up
Stupidity - knowing better and messing up.
 
It IS ignorance when one person do not bother to find out more information about other groups. Often you see hearing people asking stupid questions (e.g. "Can deaf person drive?") or hearing people make the assumptions that deaf people can't function like normal people. That is ignorance, my friend.

And yes hearing people sometime are bigots. If they re not, they wouldn't bother trying to "fix" deaf people with hearing devices, speech therapy, etc..

I am with u on that one..
 
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