Washington, D.C.: Hi Gene,
I'm not a regular reader (but like what I've seen) and after telling a friend a story, he told me to pass it on to you on this venue for your thoughts.
I am a scientist and a lecturer. I am a farily shy person and can NOT use the bathroom (no. 2 that is) when there are other people in the stalls next to me. This is not because I get skeeved at hearing the other people do their business, but rather because I simply can not handle some weird shame I get form being the noise producer.
I like my privacy.
Well, last year I was relocated here for a six week speaking circuit at Gallaudet university. I'm sure that you know that this university is for centered around hearing-impaired people and audiological/language studies. What you may not know is that the undergraduate program is 90% + hearing impaired people while the graduate programs are more like 20% and 80% hearing enabled. My lectures were geared toward the graduate program.
The combination of nerves and excitement preceeding my first lecture date produced a rumble in my stomach that my finely trained machine knows will call crisis if they manifest themselves before 6:30 pm when I get home. This was at 11:30am and my lecture was to start at noon.
In a moment of desperate brilliance, I found out where the undergraduate dining hall was located and sprint-walked into the doors.
What I am here to tell you Gene, is that for the first time EVER--I was able to take care of business in the middle stall in a public restroom, flanked by people doing THEIR business on either side of the partitions next to me in comfort and peace.
Knowing--or at least thinking that those on either side of me couldn't hear my goings on gave me a peace that I never thought I'd know.
My body and schedule changed. I frequented that bathroom happily for six weeks. I went as far as to tuck a newspaper into the back of my pants as I walked to the bathroom under my suit jacket. I parked there for 5-10 minutes at a tiime. It was glorious.
My problem now is that I am at a new university and my body seems to like it's new schedule. I was 15 minutes late to the first lecture at my new university because I had to make an ill-timed emergency trip back to my hotel room.
Anyway, I'll re-train myself.
Gene Weingarten: You are a weird guy, but you have me laughing.
