lindtoholic
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- Jun 13, 2012
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So, this is a similar topic to what I was discussing in the relationships forum, but it branches out into friendships and I was just wondering how is best to really deal with the whole deaf vs. hearing predicament that I know others have been in.
To put it simply, though my friends are aware of what the problems are about me being deaf, they know very little about its implications. In fact, as shown in my other thread, my friends tend to believe that any problem I have should be dealt with by my parents, appropriate staff members and/or my boyfriend. This shouldn't be the case though, and I regretfully admit that I had overlooked this being the case for my boyfriend - largely because he never really expressed his problems with the entire scenario, but also because I should have been more aware.
In any case... I need them to start being there to assist me if I need it. I don't want it to be the case where they drop everything to help, because frankly that won't be necessary. But what I do need is people to be aware that just because others are out drinking and having no problems, it doesn't necessarily mean I will. The problem here though is timing.
I have known this particular group of friends for two years now since joining university. Many of them are reasonably apathetic towards any problems I may have because they don't really know how to deal with it, or generally are the type to keep themselves to themselves and not concern themselves with other people's problems - and that's probably one of the biggest issues. Whenever confronted with having to deal with someone else's problems, a lot of people I know shy away and turn their backs on me in an instant, because they want nothing to do about it. And since this does, in part, mean people also need to share some responsibility for assisting me, I'm very worried that people will refuse to do this and I will be left on my own. Or, if not that, they'll continue to argue that it's not their place to do x, y or z, and that the person who should be responsible for this is my boyfriend.
The whole fact of the matter is... I want a boyfriend. I do not want a carer. I would like, and appreciate it, if my friendship group could therefore accommodate my "disability" (I put it in quotations because 7/10 times it is not a disability, but there are still instances where it can be an issue) and actually provide support for me.
Should I perhaps write up a note on Facebook and tag the key people in it? I'm not sure if it would look as though I'm naming people to "charge" them with my care, but I think it would help if specific people could be made aware of the issues and make some sort of arrangement to cover me when out in situations that might be of difficulty to me.
To put it simply, though my friends are aware of what the problems are about me being deaf, they know very little about its implications. In fact, as shown in my other thread, my friends tend to believe that any problem I have should be dealt with by my parents, appropriate staff members and/or my boyfriend. This shouldn't be the case though, and I regretfully admit that I had overlooked this being the case for my boyfriend - largely because he never really expressed his problems with the entire scenario, but also because I should have been more aware.
In any case... I need them to start being there to assist me if I need it. I don't want it to be the case where they drop everything to help, because frankly that won't be necessary. But what I do need is people to be aware that just because others are out drinking and having no problems, it doesn't necessarily mean I will. The problem here though is timing.
I have known this particular group of friends for two years now since joining university. Many of them are reasonably apathetic towards any problems I may have because they don't really know how to deal with it, or generally are the type to keep themselves to themselves and not concern themselves with other people's problems - and that's probably one of the biggest issues. Whenever confronted with having to deal with someone else's problems, a lot of people I know shy away and turn their backs on me in an instant, because they want nothing to do about it. And since this does, in part, mean people also need to share some responsibility for assisting me, I'm very worried that people will refuse to do this and I will be left on my own. Or, if not that, they'll continue to argue that it's not their place to do x, y or z, and that the person who should be responsible for this is my boyfriend.
The whole fact of the matter is... I want a boyfriend. I do not want a carer. I would like, and appreciate it, if my friendship group could therefore accommodate my "disability" (I put it in quotations because 7/10 times it is not a disability, but there are still instances where it can be an issue) and actually provide support for me.
Should I perhaps write up a note on Facebook and tag the key people in it? I'm not sure if it would look as though I'm naming people to "charge" them with my care, but I think it would help if specific people could be made aware of the issues and make some sort of arrangement to cover me when out in situations that might be of difficulty to me.