My mother and I have been battling on this topic for a few days now.
I have told her point blank about how I Feel.
I am there for my Grandparents (Dad's side) because I feel it's my duty as
a granddaughter. I also have a great sense of pride giving back to what my grandmother
has given to me. She has been the source security and stablity in my life as a young child into my adult years.
My grandfather lost his wife 16 years ago. It's been hard. I am not close with him as I once was before my grandmother passed away (Mom's side). My aunt just recently divorced from my uncle. Got involved into a new relationship. They are living together now. For the longest time my grandfather was a permant fixture in their lives. They took him everywhere, did everything with him, etc.
Now he is bitter that she has found someone, divorced my uncle because of "secret affairs." Now she has her own life. My aunt has never had that, it was always my uncle, always my grandfather, always everyone else and never for her. I am proud of her, she needs to have her own life. Do her own thing and be happy. Which has left him on the back burner.
I have offered for him to stay with us, drive my mother down to be with him, drive him up here to be with us.
He doesn't WANT that. But my mom feels the need to blame my aunt and everyone else for his being "alone."
I don't know how else I can help.
I have offered so many options.
Suggestions?
I feel if he does NOT want that help, my mom needs to stop blaming everyone, he needs to stop complaining and find a solution to the problem. I am doing my best, I am trying to get him to come down and meals provided, a room given and just for him to relax. Come and go if he pleases. I don't expect anything of him or from him.
But he won't do that, so why should I have to feel bad? Because he wants only one person to provide it? Because he wants only my aunt to be his sole support? When others are willing to go out of their way and provide suppport?
RG
I have told her point blank about how I Feel.
I am there for my Grandparents (Dad's side) because I feel it's my duty as
a granddaughter. I also have a great sense of pride giving back to what my grandmother
has given to me. She has been the source security and stablity in my life as a young child into my adult years.
My grandfather lost his wife 16 years ago. It's been hard. I am not close with him as I once was before my grandmother passed away (Mom's side). My aunt just recently divorced from my uncle. Got involved into a new relationship. They are living together now. For the longest time my grandfather was a permant fixture in their lives. They took him everywhere, did everything with him, etc.
Now he is bitter that she has found someone, divorced my uncle because of "secret affairs." Now she has her own life. My aunt has never had that, it was always my uncle, always my grandfather, always everyone else and never for her. I am proud of her, she needs to have her own life. Do her own thing and be happy. Which has left him on the back burner.
I have offered for him to stay with us, drive my mother down to be with him, drive him up here to be with us.
He doesn't WANT that. But my mom feels the need to blame my aunt and everyone else for his being "alone."
I don't know how else I can help.
I have offered so many options.
Suggestions?
I feel if he does NOT want that help, my mom needs to stop blaming everyone, he needs to stop complaining and find a solution to the problem. I am doing my best, I am trying to get him to come down and meals provided, a room given and just for him to relax. Come and go if he pleases. I don't expect anything of him or from him.
But he won't do that, so why should I have to feel bad? Because he wants only one person to provide it? Because he wants only my aunt to be his sole support? When others are willing to go out of their way and provide suppport?
RG