First meeting ?

dereksbicycles said:
Yes, we have talked on video chats.
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Well that's good. You've already seen the look on her face when you say something funny, you've already seen her conversational style, maybe gotten a sense of her attitudes about things then?

Seems like you have some information that you need. Anything specific you're still worried about?
 
amylynne said:
Well that's good. You've already seen the look on her face when you say something funny, you've already seen her conversational style, maybe gotten a sense of her attitudes about things then?

Seems like you have some information that you need. Anything specific you're still worried about?
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No matter how many time you talk on line, webcam, or video phone, it's always a different game in person.

Basically, I can get a lunch and a stroll if I did a local date. If I have to do long distance, then I would want more than just a lunch and stroll. It may put pressure on both myself and the person.
 
ambrosia said:
That is interesting.......and brave :) some serious trial by fire. :hmm: you've never ended up going with someone that turned out to annoy the crap out of you?
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That guy that I became friends with was a little annoying at first but really sweet. I just didn't feel the chemistry with him like I did chatting with him online. Yes, it was different in person. He said he also felt the same too so we just became good friends instead. I picked on him about being an annoying date. :lol: He had a great sense of humor about it.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Exactly!! That is what scares me about going long distance. I don't enjoy many sights if person is not interesting. I'm afraid of wasting my time seeing different places if the person does not turn out what it looks like.
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Why not just add places to see for yourself to enjoy just in case it doesn't work out?
 
dereksbicycles said:
No matter how many time you talk on line, webcam, or video phone, it's always a different game in person.

Basically, I can get a lunch and a stroll if I did a local date. If I have to do long distance, then I would want more than just a lunch and stroll. It may put pressure on both myself and the person.
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It's always a different game in person- no truer words have ever been written.
I was very concerned going to Malaysia. I am the veteran of a lot of dates gone bad. Whoa.
The thing is and I know other people may dispute me but my experience was gotten the hard way. Compatibility is everything. It is the elements of personality and background that mesh well... and wanting the same thing as an eventual result of meeting.
I learned that at the very least, at least have astrological compatibility. It may sound like bs but there is something to it. For instance I am a Gemini. I am astrologically compatible with Libra and Aquarius women. I don't mean like the old 70's pickup where you swagger up with your shirt unbuttoned to your navel and a gold chain around your neck and say what is your sign? Although hey whatever works, there is something to the sign thing. I would never ever have made a long distance trip for meeting a woman that was not a Libra or Aquarius.
 
ambrosia said:
That is interesting.......and brave :) some serious trial by fire. :hmm: you've never ended up going with someone that turned out to annoy the crap out of you?
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It's not really brave. In fact, logistically it makes sense. Between deaf themselves, they are spread out all over the place, you have to travel. And, among non-deaf(for men) there are only a limited number of women who will consider the relationship and are more spread out as well. If anything, the bravery comes with being smart and checking out who you are meeting(protect yourself).

It's more a problem of distance than annoyance. You can deal with most of the annoyance issues(you just see them up front), but distance requires a life change. You or that person would have to move for the relationship to work. And, that's not an easy thing to ask of someone, especially for deaf because deaf don't find jobs(of good quaility) easily.

If we rely on only the people around us, our choices are very small, in some cases nil.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Exactly!! That is what scares me about going long distance. I don't enjoy many sights if person is not interesting. I'm afraid of wasting my time seeing different places if the person does not turn out what it looks like.
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You can't go with the sole intention of coming back with a relationship. The goal has to be just to enhance your chances not club someone over the head and drag them home.

First and foremost, it's a vacation and you need to enjoy it. Anything beyond that is a bonus.

Like all relationships you start with people, the majority are not going to work out. What you hope for is that one of them does. Get it?
 
VacationGuy is right on.

Right in your age group Derek it is hard because a lot are married off and a lot of the others are recently divorced or or and so on. It is not easy. It is kind of like picking your way through a minefield.
One thing you have not brought up so I will. It really helps to be in good physical condition. I have no idea what kind of shape you are in but it is vital to make that big effort. I don't mean some kind of mild routine. It takes hit it hard exercise to really shape up. Like drenching sweat, muscles that burn, knowledge of how to push your self.
A lot of us long term bachelors need a real makeover to get any action with the modern American woman. Teeth how are you? If you look around at womens teeth you will soon notice they have whitened up about 200% in the last decade or so. They expect you to have teeth like that. Horrifying but true.
Other areas of hygiene as well. They have gone from being way too picky to beyond that. You will never fully please them but you do have to show major effort.
I am not trying to sound like I know something you don't, just making the same kind of reminders friends dropped on me.
 
You make it, like being recently divorced is a curse or something. anyway........Having clean teeth and a clean mouth is not horrifying. its expected both ways. absolutely. i cant stress that enough. As for hygiene. Just take proper care of yourself, keep clean. Its easy. After i train i shower, in the morning i shower thats 2 showers a day........
Take care of yourself.
Its expected both ways. Believe me. be civilized dude.
One more thing. Your diet is important here. If you eat like shit, or eat allot of dairy based products you will stink. Its a tip from someone who spends most his days in the dojo teaching and or assisting in instruction.
for what its worth.
 
Uhhhhh you make sound horrible goodonya :laugh2:

I like my man cake but that's more for looking at than eating :D
 
dereksbicycles said:
What if we lived 10 hour apart?
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Three of my close friends have met their current wives while living more than 5 hours away from each other.

Two of them used TTY's to chat one day a week for a few hours. The third used VRS. All took turns driving to see each other every two weeks or so, and they would spend a long weekend visiting each other only.

I would not be concerned about what you would need to do when you get together, especially when both of you are deaf, as you would be blabbing nonstop....just like any typical deaf friends meet-ups.

I might find myself in your situation in the near future, and most of my female friends live several states away, so I probably will have to do some long-distance dating too.....plus, if she turns out to be psycho, the farther away she is, the better I can sleep.....:lol:

Unlike hearing people, whose chances of finding another hearing partner in the same area is high, if we want to meet deaf partners, we have to search far and wide...unfortunately.
 
ambrosia said:
Uhhhhh you make sound horrible goodonya :laugh2:

I like my man cake but that's more for looking at than eating :D
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You make me laugh, Ambrosia! I mentioned about the teeth because so many women in the US have bright white teeth like fashion models. Those are not natural colors of white. Those are teeth colors that movie actresses and Miss Americas used to have. It looks great too.
A person can have very clean teeth and great dental hygiene and they wont ever look like movie star white. Pain in the billfold for me. Just to compete out there at all I had to spring for some teeth whitening action.
It was money well spent but I did have to spend it. Is a woman worth that? :hmm:
 
dereksbicycles said:
No matter how many time you talk on line, webcam, or video phone, it's always a different game in person.

Basically, I can get a lunch and a stroll if I did a local date. If I have to do long distance, then I would want more than just a lunch and stroll. It may put pressure on both myself and the person.
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Are you open mind or close mind?
 
goodonya said:
If you look around at womens teeth you will soon notice they have whitened up about 200% in the last decade or so. They expect you to have teeth like that.
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I don't think women expect 200% white teeth. Although it couldn't hurt, they are more likely shooting for a clean healthy mouth. I'm sure they don't get up in the morning and say they want a guy with gum disease.

But, you bring up a good point. Good hygiene is very important.
 
dereksbicycles said:
What do you do on dates for first meetning? You see, if we lived one hour apart, we would meet for lunch and maybe a stroll at park. What if we lived 10 hour apart? Do I come over for a lunch and a stroll in park?

How have you done it?
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Done everything from movies, dinner, lunch, drinks, roller skating, golfing for first dates. I never dated anyone 10 hours away. Don't want a relationship with my phone..
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I don't think women expect 200% white teeth. Although it couldn't hurt, they are more likely shooting for a clean healthy mouth. I'm sure they don't get up in the morning and say they want a guy with gum disease.

But, you bring up a good point. Good hygiene is very important.
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RossTeeth-YouTube.jpg
 
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