engagement

C

crsa

New Member
Joined
May 11, 2005
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
if you and your boyfriend been together more than 5 years, lives together and he never proposed after together more than 5 years? why the boyfriend never ask? what it tha mean? is it mean hes not ready or scared to be commitment in marriage? :dunno:
 
if you and your boyfriend been together more than 5 years, lives together and he never proposed after together more than 5 years? why the boyfriend never ask? what it tha mean? is it mean hes not ready or scared to be commitment in marriage

Perhaps he is scared to be tied down in marriage life?
Something do with his childhood in the past how it scare him away?

I would do is:

When I know that he love me thru his loving impression. I will make sure that he really love me and want to stay with me rest of life, then I would make a romantic candle-lit dinner and propose him to marry me. :lol: I see nothing wrong that girl ask guy to marry her.

I have to 2 choice when I realize that he´s not marrying or famliy man.

Accept what he is and stay like this rest of life.
OR
Leave him because I don´t want to waste my time to spend my rest of life waiting for him to change his mind to marry me and start a family because he say in first place that he´s not marry or family man.
 
crsa said:
if you and your boyfriend been together more than 5 years, lives together and he never proposed after together more than 5 years? why the boyfriend never ask? what it tha mean? is it mean hes not ready or scared to be commitment in marriage? :dunno:
Click to expand...

I cant answer that question of what does that mean.

I have a few questions that needs to be answered before I could really form an opinion.

Has both of them discussed marriage?
Has he ever uttered a word about marriage - his feelings/opinions of marriage?
Has he been married before?
Has he told the girl that he has no plans of getting married but the girl keeps hoping that he will change his mind eventually?
How old is he?
Has he showed any other form of affection? Is he loving and warm with her and talks about long term plans in loving manner?


Also, the girl involved needs to ask her HARD questions of what she really wants. Does she really want a marriage or not? Does she keep hoping that he will somehow bring up the issue of marriage even though he cannot read her mind? Can she accept the truth once she finds out?

Either way, I would not live with a man myself for five years and not know what his goals are. I would be grilling him a lot of hard and realistic questions before wasting away my five years on a man who has no intentions of marrying me ever, etc.
 
I suggest that you talk to boyfriend what he think about marriage and find out how his opinion on the marriage. It a way of giving him hint that you want to get married but not be forceful. It cant hurt to sit down and talk like casual converstation. He may give you reason or tell you what he think. HEY it the 2000s now that some ladies do proposals to their boyfriends but just find out how he think first if he do want get married but havent ask you, go ahead ask him in romance way if you prefer to.
 
It might be that hes may not be ready for marriage yet, I know a few of my friends who were in a relationship for more than six or seven years and haven't been proposed yet....Some of my friends are not ready to settle down and get married, some may not want to get married ever ...All you have to do is sit down and dissus this with your boyfriend and see how he feels about getting married or why he hasn't proposed yet, it could be alot of reason or maybe he thinks you don't want to get married yet.... :dunno:
 
There are reasons..
- are you two finanical stablity?
(no worry about money)
- does both of you have a full time job?
(pay the bills and health insurances)
- are you both being faithful?
(honestly with each other)
- are you both ready for commitment?
(if you are ready and other is not or both are not ready)
- are you both ready for a big responsbiilites?
(who pay the bills, who clean up the house, who is charge of money)


I remember my mother told me before I got marriage to my current husband. I had to be sure that we are finanical stable, and I had to be sure we both are in health insurance and we have plenty money to pay the bills and others. It's hard, but that is what marriage are about. If you guys are not ready, don't get married right away unless you both are feel comfortable with each other on other important issues like commitments, honest and understanding.

if you want to get married, you might want to discuss with your boyfriend and ask him why he want to wait a little longer. He might have some reasons that he hasn't told you.... Don't get upset, take go someplace where you and your boyfriend have some quiet to talk about and be prepare to talk about marriage.
 
crsa said:
if you and your boyfriend been together more than 5 years, lives together and he never proposed after together more than 5 years? why the boyfriend never ask? what it tha mean? is it mean hes not ready or scared to be commitment in marriage? :dunno:
Click to expand...
It means why should he bother to get married and be a responsible man when he can get everything he wants from you without marriage.
 
crsa said:
if you and your boyfriend been together more than 5 years, lives together and he never proposed after together more than 5 years? why the boyfriend never ask? what it tha mean? is it mean hes not ready or scared to be commitment in marriage? :dunno:
Click to expand...
Latter one. Most men are afraid of commitment in marriage.

But that may not only reason though. He may have some reasons... I dunno if it is ok for me to suggest or not but I would suggest you and your boyfriend to sit down and talk or discuss about it. Speaking of "talk" or "discuss", take these advices from women above about how to start a conversation with your boyfriend.
 
Reba said:
It means why should he bother to get married and be a responsible man when he can get everything he wants from you without marriage.
Click to expand...

That's what I was thinking, too.

I don't think it would be a problem if you were to share your feelings with your partner whose mind is not on marriage.. either way you'd get your way, even if you have to end the relationship and find somebody else who has the same direction as you do or the odd partner will think about it and ultimately agree to be married.

Either way, give yourselves the time to really decide marriage is for both of you for a lifetime. Don't just settle for somebody just because you've been together so long you're used to this person, or you think nobody else will want you. :)
 
Liza said:
That's what I was thinking, too.

I don't think it would be a problem if you were to share your feelings with your partner whose mind is not on marriage.. either way you'd get your way, even if you have to end the relationship and find somebody else who has the same direction as you do or the odd partner will think about it and ultimately agree to be married.

Either way, give yourselves the time to really decide marriage is for both of you for a lifetime. Don't just settle for somebody just because you've been together so long you're used to this person, or you think nobody else will want you. :)
Click to expand...

:werd: Good advice, chickie.

My mother (or is it her mother?) always says - why buy the cow if they can get the milk for free?? It is also possible that your living arrangements make it easy for your boyfriend to take it for granted. He may very well be comfortable with the way it is, because it isn't a legal commitment.

My suggestion? YOU propose. See what happens. If he's keen on the idea, then wonderful!! You will enjoy planning your wedding. If not, then unfortunately you may realize that some things were simply too "convenient" for him and it was never what he was seeking in the first place. Five years is a long time, especially when co-existing without marriage vows being exchanged.

Grab him by the nuts and have a nice chat with him later. ;) Good luck.
 
Malfoyish said:
:werd: Good advice, chickie.

My mother (or is it her mother?) always says - why buy the cow if they can get the milk for free?? It is also possible that your living arrangements make it easy for your boyfriend to take it for granted. He may very well be comfortable with the way it is, because it isn't a legal commitment.

My suggestion? YOU propose. See what happens. If he's keen on the idea, then wonderful!! You will enjoy planning your wedding. If not, then unfortunately you may realize that some things were simply too "convenient" for him and it was never what he was seeking in the first place. Five years is a long time, especially when co-existing without marriage vows being exchanged.

Grab him by the nuts and have a nice chat with him later. ;) Good luck.
Click to expand...


Good posting!

Also, if he is afraid of commitment, why live with a woman for over 5 years? That is a commitment too. Imagine all money/time he invested. I dont see any difference between living together for long term and marriage. Marriage is a piece of paper that makes it legal in everyone's views.

But there are some people who simply live with someone out of convenience. But it will result in same kind of pain/anger/chaos if he decides to move out etc so either way, he is in for painful results regardless of his fear of commitment or not.
 
yea depend on her mother or family... or he might not ready and wanna make sure everything smooth before getting marry.. i am not sure.. so i think that u need sit down and discuss with him abt that... good lucky..
 
Back
Top