dont know what to do with stupid comments

jillio said:
There are appropriate comparisons, and there are completely innappropriate comparisons. We see them on this forum all the time. This woman doesn't need therapy judging from what she has said here. She simply needs for strangers not to minimize her situation.

How do you react when an HOH lated deafended person compares themselves to someone born deaf, and says something like, "I know exactly what it is like for you?"
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Thanks for saying this jillio! I was thinking the same thing, I can't believe people are asking if she miss her husband!!
 
anlos09 said:
well ive heard a lot of stupid comments before... "do you miss him?" no, i love it when i dont see my husband for months...

my favorite is "At least he's not in Iraq" Yeah because they just lay around playing video games in the surrounding countries =\

It is hard, but he loves it, so as long as he comes back, Im okay :)
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Are there any support group for women who husbands are at war near you? I think it would be best to just walk away when a person made a stupid comment. It not worth your energy or time talking to people that are clueless. I think some people do not want to say and end saying dumb things.
When I told someone my 93 years mother dies they said something like "at least she lived a long time!" So I should not miss her because she was 93 when she dies??
 
Cheetah said:
I can imagine there is really no appropriate comment. When someone you love goes off to war for you country. They are doing something that deserves our respect. I personally cannot imagine having my spouse go off to war. I feel totally inadequate to offer comfort.

I can say that I am proud of them, the work that they do, the dangers they face, and the distress of their loved ones back home.

I wish we could eliminate the needs for wars. perhaps "need" is not the right word. But war is a consequence of political actions (or inaction).

I know that we are all here free to discuss our political ideas and opinions because of people like Anlos's husband.

so Anlos, please express to your husband my thanks, respect, and appreciation for the work he is doing. We owe him and the other soldiers a debt of gratitude that I fear will never be paid in full.
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Thank you very much! And i agree it will never be paid in full, but having met a lot of sailors, and soldiers, most say that they just love what they do and its funny because all they really want is appreciation. When people say 'thank you' and shakes their hand, makes them feel like sacrificing their life, is worth it.
 
FireTiger said:
The response: "really? How many tours has he done? What's his permanent duty station?"
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yeah, most people dont know what a permanent duty station is. BUT, i did have someone ask me how many times hes been deployed, and when i said this is his 2nd time, she said, at least hes been there before. its like, just because hes been deployed before doesnt make his life in less danger. =\
 
jillio said:
The next time someone makes a remark about your husband's deployment, you can do just that!:P
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lol, constructive conversations doesnt help. ive been a military wife for a while so ive heard it all, ive said it all. and when i have conversation with someone who doesnt know, i find myself wasting 15 - 30 minutes then leaving feeling like they dont know any better.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Are there any support group for women who husbands are at war near you? I think it would be best to just walk away when a person made a stupid comment. It not worth your energy or time talking to people that are clueless. I think some people do not want to say and end saying dumb things.
When I told someone my 93 years mother dies they said something like "at least she lived a long time!" So I should not miss her because she was 93 when she dies??
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oh yeah there are many support groups. I go to them, it does help.

omg that is horrible! I am so sorry for your loss
 
Jiro said:
it's probably better if you can cope with this difficulty in your life without those bitter sarcasm.

I think you need to deal with it and maybe talk to professional. you cannot go around feeling like nobody can compare to yours.
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Jiro said:
How would I react? like a nice guy. Why should I get all snarky and bitter at this person? Did this person intend to piss me off?

I would engage in a constructive conversation and see if this person knows what he/she's really talking about.
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Lol, this explains your success with women.
 
Some people do stick their foot in their mouths at times...not meaning to be rude or uncaring,just not being able to respond in an appropriate manner at the time. If it were a deliberate response or quote, then yes, I would get very angry. Some people don't think before speaking.
 
anlos09 said:
lol, constructive conversations doesnt help. ive been a military wife for a while so ive heard it all, ive said it all. and when i have conversation with someone who doesnt know, i find myself wasting 15 - 30 minutes then leaving feeling like they dont know any better.
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I'm aware of that, which is why my original reply was what it was.

Pssttt...jiro's a guy.:giggle:
 
There's a difference of having to do guard drill for a weekend and getting sent over to Iraq or Afghanistan for a year long deployment.

I don't want to add to the stupid comments but I will be praying for you and your husband that he returns safely home when his tour of duty is complete.
 
sound inapproriate he silly he complaint because relationship , expression sound he hearing or deaf? I assurane, , I guess look like my theory on
he insult to her seems feeling hurting he insult rude her not goo, she innocemtn because he fault because reason ridioulos! sound swearing!
 
Stupid comments !!
Oh boy, I'm not a military wife, so I won't engage in this topic because i confess to be clueless.

But the stupidest thing I could hear so far has been a so-told-good-friend (so obviously, not a good friend at all) who told me : "it's your fault if you have a pericarditis, you shouldn't have been stressed like that".
It was a virus (like someone would catch the flu).
The cardiologist herself was amazed, catching her head between her hands....

Another stupid comment from my stepmom (a psychologist : I still have difficulty to believe it) : "Giulia's mother tries to find a disability to dismiss herself from her parental role : if she had terminated her parental rights, Giulia wouldn't have been in difficulty at school and socializing". 15 years or so like that, and she wants to make me believe she loves me ?
The day she needs a liver in emergency and begs me to give her part of mine, I am absent : I don't due her anything, she doesn't due me anything.

I am still as astonished as I can be in front of stupid comments (my father thinks that stupid comments are something normal and helpful : where was he born ? On Earth or on another planet ?)
 
anlos09 said:
yeah, most people dont know what a permanent duty station is. BUT, i did have someone ask me how many times hes been deployed, and when i said this is his 2nd time, she said, at least hes been there before. its like, just because hes been deployed before doesnt make his life in less danger. =\
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OMG!! What does people think being deployed mean!! These comments are more than stupid they're made by ignorant people!! And you have to remind yourself of this the next time you heard something like that! Of course your husband life is endanger every time he deployed . My thoughts are with you and your husband .
 
whatdidyousay! said:
OMG!! What does people think being deployed mean!! These comments are more than stupid they're made by ignorant people!! And you have to remind yourself of this the next time you heard something like that! Of course your husband life is endanger every time he deployed . My thoughts are with you and your husband .
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Oh is that when the invisible shield kicks in??? I thought it was the 10th or 11th deployment... :roll:

That's right most of our armed forces don't make it 10-11 deployments :pissed:
 
If I had a quarter for every stupid remark someone made to me, I'd at least have some money. :lol:
 
anlos09 said:
My husband is in the Navy, i was wearing a Navy wife sweater the other day and a woman comes up to me asking about it, and i told her my husband is deployed, and she said.. "omg my husband went to california for 2 days i totally know what youre going through."

Really? you do you dumb shit face? my husband is going to be gone for 8 months, and hes not sleeping in a warm comfortable bed. He cant call whenever he wants and mail takes weeks. I do not feel bonded to you because of this comment.:roll:
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....those comments actually bothered you? To me, it looks like she's trying to break the ice.

one thing why did you call her dumb shit face, even she didnt say anything degrading or insulting to you. I bet you dont have any gut to speak up in her face.


Whenever people say stupid things to me, I just simply ignore it. Folks who get stressed over stupid comments need to take a chill pills, or they wont survive the next generation filled of mostly stupid kids. Be prepared.
 
Eighty said:
....those comments actually bothered you? To me, it looks like she's trying to break the ice.

one thing why did you call her dumb shit face, even she didnt say anything degrading or insulting to you. I bet you dont have any gut to speak up in her face.


Whenever people say stupid things to me, I just simply ignore it. Folks who get stressed over stupid comments need to take a chill pills, or they wont survive the next generation filled of mostly stupid kids. Be prepared.
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I did say that to her face, just like i'll say anything to anyones face. If I'm talking about someone behind their back, its because Ive already said it to their face. Well, good for you for being the bigger person. Im pregnant with twins, i live far from any family of mine, i dont know anyone else here, and im giving birth in about 2 months, alone. so yeah i get irritated and stressed.
 
anlos09 said:
My husband is in the Navy, i was wearing a Navy wife sweater the other day and a woman comes up to me asking about it, and i told her my husband is deployed, and she said.. "omg my husband went to california for 2 days i totally know what youre going through."

Really? you do you dumb shit face? my husband is going to be gone for 8 months, and hes not sleeping in a warm comfortable bed. He cant call whenever he wants and mail takes weeks. I do not feel bonded to you because of this comment.:roll:
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I have a brother who I was really worried about the two times that he was deployed to Iraq for months to a year, but I understand that that doesn't come close to comparing to the stress, worry, and sacrifice a military spouse and their deployed spouse goes through. I have such respect for your husband and yourself and I am wishing that you will be reunited soon and he will come home safe.
 
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