Do most girls that are hearing find hearing impaired guys weird?

[sultan2979]

Hey Im hearing impaired but I can talk real well but my hearing is profounded which means I have 85 percent of hearing lost So it may take a second for me to get what a person is saying. ANyways for some reason I feel that I can't go up to girls because I keep thinking that Im embrassing them or they dont want to be see in public with a deaf guy. My friends says its not true but ive had some weird experience with girls that didnt want to talk to me because of that. Im trying not to be negative about it but its hard to not be negative when I feel realistic or know what the girl is gunna feel about me before i say anything to her. Like if i say something it may sound a little weird or whatever but i just feel really dumb or akward when i talk to girls and then i get stuck of not knowing what to say because its either i couldnt understand the girl or the girl didnt understand me and I have to repeat it till it finally understood. It just makes everything get all akward and it also makes the girls liiks like shes does not want to be in a situation like this. I hate when I get into that situation. Does anybody have a solution for this?

 

[Levonian]

To be perfectly honest, I’m sure that there are a lot of girls who would be embarrassed to be seen in public with a deaf guy. But who gives a shit what they think. On the other hand, now that deafness, Deaf culture, and ASL are all mega tres chic with the high school and freshman crowd, I can see deafness as actually being a social advantage, rather than a disadvantage. So I would call it kind of a toss-up.

 

[sultan2979]

what you mean mega tres chic with a freshmen crowd? Im not sure what you mean by that.

 

[Levonian]

Maybe it’s not such a big deal in other parts of the country, but here in Southern California ASL and Deaf culture are just HUGE with the teen crowd, so much so that the college ASL courses are filled to capacity every semester, and kids even pretend to be deaf in order in fit in with the Deaf crowd.

 

[Cousin Vinny]

Maybe it’s not such a big deal in other parts of the country, but here in Southern California ASL and Deaf culture are just HUGE with the teen crowd, so much so that the college ASL courses are filled to capacity every semester, and kids even pretend to be deaf in order in fit in with the Deaf crowd.

Must be a local thing. In South Florida, I've seen kids wanting to get into ASL classes, but for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Levonian]

We get a lot of that here too. They take ASL to fulfill their language requirements, not realizing that it has a grammatical structure radically different from English. They think it’s an easy way out from taking French or Spanish. Little do they know that ASL is a lot harder to learn than Spanish.

 

[Endymion]

Hey, I'm with Monkey Man L here. I've been in your shoes, Sultan, and I know exactly how it feels. The thing I found was that the more I worried about women (or better, just people in general), the more they picked that up and the worse off I was. So then the more I started saying, "Screw it. I don't really care. I'll go up, say hi, and if they have a problem, that's THEIR problem. There are lots of other normal, cool people" the more I noticed that things went well with people.

But get this. In terms of dating women, if you really, really look at it, you'll find most women are never the ones you want to be with. It's the same with women who see men; we're all different types of people. I'm not preaching that special someone stuff, but I'm saying that once you start really dating, you'll find that a lot of people have things that you won't like, and it takes a "click" at a higher level to look past all that.

Now that aside, I'll give you my advice from experience.

One, make deafness cool. Get yourself a wingman, start your own group of cool deaf guys and make it a trend to date deaf men. Be original, be interesting. Ride the ASL wave like Levonian said. We used to have four tall deaf men and we would march our way into the bar scene. You have no idea how much respect we commanded (most of the time, people just act funny around deaf people, but not with us) and I'm not sure we did either, heh.

Two, stand out from guys around you. Dress well (but for the love of all that is holy, don't be one of those guys who shows up in an oversized suit and tie for some non-dive bar scene, that's just plain cheesy), have clean breath, and all that. That kinda stuff can make or break a person's interest pretty fast.

Three, be confident. And always remember you don't care what they think. You've got your friends who like you, and that's what's most important. The more you realize that, the better things go with people.

Are you in a place with a lot or a few deaf people?

 

[coloravalanche]

Have you tried to approach a hearing girl and ask her out? I dont see any reason for some of hearing girls being embarrass...

Ive dated hearing guys and they were not embarrass at all...

 

[sultan2979]

well I have a lot of friends and they all are hearing. That is true that i ot friends that like me but the thing is that its all guys and im getting sick of them haha, i rather hang out with a girl if you get my drift. But no im not in a place with any deaf people at all.

 

[SB_GB_4ever]

To be honest alot of people in general who have no expeirence in the deaf culture find it wierd. I Love the deaf culture and most people who get to see it love it. If you are looking for a good girl who is not weirded out about deaf people then find a friend who is deaf and has hearing friends then you know that they are not afriad to like deaf. If you dont understand what i mean let me know and i will tell you in more details.

 

[Gemtun]

Lev and Endy are right.

I see so many younger hearing people such in high school and college getting into ASL - I meet so many young hearing women wanting to volunteer at my workplace because they want to improve their ASL or get into interpreting programs.

Heck I can t even shop without having at least one sales assistant or clerk or butcher excitedly telling me they know ASL these days. The other day I was signing with my friend - a young man working at the pizzeria was staring at us - I thought he was staring because we were signing (in old days, people used to stare because we were "weird") but when we were about to leave the pizzeria, he said Hey I know ASL and grinned with his thumb up.

Ultimately, it boils down to you and your confidence, not whether you are deaf or not. Chicks dig men with confidence and sense of humor

 

[sultan2979]

for coloravalanche
no i never really went up to a girl and ask her out..i alwasy think im gunna mess up something..yea i know i gotta boost up my confidence but i just dont want to go the wrong way which it normally goes. Guys are different than girls...guys go for pretty much any girl really but girls specificially wants a guy that is her type and thats the thing that I keep thinking in my head that im not "her type".

 

[Gemtun]

for coloravalanche
no i never really went up to a girl and ask her out..i alwasy think im gunna mess up something..yea i know i gotta boost up my confidence but i just dont want to go the wrong way which it normally goes. Guys are different than girls...guys go for pretty much any girl really but girls specificially wants a guy that is her type and thats the thing that I keep thinking in my head that im not "her type".

Hey knock that image out of your head. Never know - you have to take a risk!

Also, what makes you think that guys go for pretty much any girl??! Guys do have their types.

 

[SB_GB_4ever]

I agree with that as well! I Have a great HH girlfriend and I am with her because i love her and stay strong within our relationship!

 

[sultan2979]

Yea you guys are right...I know... its probably just the girls from my town....I live in South Bend IN and i guess the girls around here are picky or something....

 

[Gemtun]

Yea you guys are right...I know... its probably just the girls from my town....I live in South Bend IN and i guess the girls around here are picky or something....

Then head to Chicago to meet some cool and open minded Chicago chicks There are tons of deaf events in Chicago so you just never know

 

[Cousin Vinny]

So then the more I started saying, "Screw it. I don't really care. I'll go up, say hi, and if they have a problem, that's THEIR problem. There are lots of other normal, cool people" the more I noticed that things went well with people.

Pretty insightful commentary there! I wish I could practice what you preach, but I find it difficult and still feel somewhat at unease with hearing women, unless they're fluent in ASL. I tend to shut my trap, and only respond when spoken to, and it's usually a "yes/no ma'am" answer!

One, make deafness cool. Get yourself a wingman, start your own group of cool deaf guys and make it a trend to date deaf men. Be original, be interesting.

Spoken like a true marketing guru! I get first dibs on you as my wingman! Better yet, what do you think about using a 'wingwoman'? I've read a couple of articles about them and they sound 'unethical' for a lack of a better word, as it allows the female target to 'drop her guard' and be introduced to lecherous guys.

Two, stand out from guys around you. Dress well (but for the love of all that is holy, don't be one of those guys who shows up in an oversized suit and tie for some non-dive bar scene, that's just plain cheesy)

Heh, I guess you're asking for it, being the haute couture connoisseur you are! Allow me to introduce my bar scene role models...

The Roxbury Guys

Whoo! If I ever were cast in a sequel to the Roxbury Guys movie, I'll be Will Ferrell's character, and chug on generous pitchers of beer, a la Frank the Tank in Old School.

As to the original poster; Maybe I'm overstating the obvious; What about dating DHH women? Now, I'm very comfortable with that segment of the population!

 

[Endymion]

well I have a lot of friends and they all are hearing. That is true that i ot friends that like me but the thing is that its all guys and im getting sick of them haha, i rather hang out with a girl if you get my drift. But no im not in a place with any deaf people at all.

I get where you're coming from. Are there any sign language classes near you? Sign classes are a great repository of of people who are into deaf things (and they're full of women). If you don't know ASL, perfect. You can just take a class and be the bad boy you are. If you do know ASL, perfect. You can just make friends with the teacher and ask to drop in the class.

The sign language classes at community colleges and universities tend to be full of younger women, while I've noticed that regular community classes tend to have older women.

It's too bad you're not near me, because if this were back in my wilder days, I'd figure I'd love to buy you a beer and do the old wingman thing.

 

[Endymion]

Pretty insightful commentary there! I wish I could practice what you preach, but I find it difficult and still feel somewhat at unease with hearing women, unless they're fluent in ASL. I tend to shut my trap, and only respond when spoken to, and it's usually a "yes/no ma'am" answer!

I know what you mean. It's always hard when other people are involved because we judge ourselves by what happens. But hey, kudos to everyone who tries!

Spoken like a true marketing guru! I get first dibs on you as my wingman!

ROFL. You know, next time I'm in Florida, how about I buy you a drink of whatever kind? That probably will be likely within the next year or two too.

Better yet, what do you think about using a 'wingwoman'? I've read a couple of articles about them and they sound 'unethical' for a lack of a better word, as it allows the female target to 'drop her guard' and be introduced to lecherous guys.

One of my cousins is a drop-dead gorgeous model, and my ex-friend S used to love to hang out with her because he knew that even if women didn't know my cousin, the thought running through their minds was "Damn! There's got to be something about him that she likes!" He was a womanizer of the first order and turned that into his advantage. I ended up cutting off ties with him after he tried to romance the woman I was emotionally committed to back then. Testament to the idea that you've got to choose your friends, I suppose!

Heh, I guess you're asking for it, being the haute couture connoisseur you are! Allow me to introduce my bar scene role models...

The Roxbury Guys

Whoo! If I ever were cast in a sequel to the Roxbury Guys movie, I'll be Will Ferrell's character, and chug on generous pitchers of beer, a la Frank the Tank in Old School.

ROFL! That is just SAD.

As to the original poster; Maybe I'm overstating the obvious; What about dating DHH women? Now, I'm very comfortable with that segment of the population!

Very true. There are some awesome deaf women out there who have just as much to offer as any hearing person. I think the problem is that he has no deaf people near him, though.

 

[sultan2979]

Endymion
Thanks for the adivsed, i appreciated the help. Yea, ill have to check out the ASL classes and be the bad boy that I am haha. I havent thought about that which I should have thought of.

Do you think the problem is because im not hanging out with deaf people and i need to go back into my "deaf roots"? Should I expand my friends with deaf people? Sometimes I think I need to start hanging out with "my kind", but im always doing something else and never really look out for hearing impaired people. I once used to have all friends that were deaf but that stopped in 7th grade which was a long time ago and ever since ive been hanging out with only hearing people.