Debating going silent.

softabak

softabak

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Hi everyone! I need some advice..

I thought maybe this would fit under "Adjusting to late onset deafness" but I wasn't sure..

So anyways! I have always been HOH. Recently I lost my hearing completely. I can lip read really well (although I get crazy headaches by the end of the day now) and can get by so-so. At work, people assume I can hear or am lying about my deafness because I speak. So I have honestly been debating giving up my speech, and maybe only talking in my own home. I haven't told any of my friends or have seen them since I completely lost my hearing because they weren't very accommodating in the first place and I don't think they will be now (I feel mean saying that but it's true...).

At work my boss has sent out emails twice requesting people only contact me via email and hardly anyone does. It's very frustrating. I feel like people don't take me seriously. One of my supervisors keeps piling on extra work for me and the other day she tried to make me answer the phone.

So because of all of this, I feel like I just want to give up speaking. What do you think? Does it sound silly?
 
just wondering...

Hi, I don't think your "going silent" idea will work. Unless you move, get a new job, new friends, etc. Because doesn't everyone already know you talk? If they already don't believe you then how will you explain that suddenly you can't talk either? You're in a bad situation, especially at work. I would think your company would have to follow rules pertaining to the disabilities act of your country. If you have a doctor's proof that you're deaf, then what they think doesn't really matter. Unless they want a lawsuit, that is. Also, if your friends don't support you then you need new friends. Just remember, THEY are the ones with the problem. Not you. Deaf is Deaf and you can't change that (be proud of who you are!). But you CAN change your friends that don't accept who/what you are. :cheers: -- Julie
 
It sounds like it's really a work environment issue. They don't seem to be reasonably accommodating of your hearing issue asking you to do phone calls. You might want to think about changing jobs and although it might be a deal-breaker for some potential employers be upfront about your hearing issues; the last thing you want is for them to think that you can handle talking on the phone and they get disappointed and then you might lose your job.

You might want to look for positions that don't require talking on the phone, for example, avoid customer-service type of positions. It might take some time finding a good match but in the long run I think you will be much happier moving on to a better work environment that's accommodating of your hearing issues.
 
Softabak, I share your problem. I began losing hearing in grade school, but have perfect diction, and a 'radio voice' on top of it. Today my loss is 95 dB, with 10% discrimination. Yet I am an exec at a Fortune 200 firm. When Hearing interact with me F2F, they do not comprehend how much work I am doing lipreading (yes it exhausts me too!) so they think I exaggerate when I tell them I cannot use a phone. It is confusing to them, at the best. And the use of phone numbers for tracking online orders makes things all the worse.
I do not answer any phone where I do not recognize the caller ID, and only if that person has a history of working with me to accommodate talking on a phone. I did learn ASL two years ago, but none of my Hearing friends show any interest. Of course if I attempted to require an interpreter at work my position would simply 'disappear', so that is not an option.
I DO go silent with sales people in stores, I sign and they freak out. Never fails. Keep in mind your use of speech is for the convenience of the Hearing. By speaking, you accommodate their inadequacy in communicating with them, not vice versa.
Also bear in mind that the opportunities in the Hearing world are greater than those that people who embrace their limitations enjoy, so expect to make some adjustments should you choose to go silent.
Personally, I use silence/ASL as a weapon. I accomodate the Hearing at work, because I am there to serve. But where I am the customer, I can be a hardass if need be. So consider silence a tool, just one more arrow in your quiver. Use it wisely, but proportionally.
Please don't give up and take your ball and go home. But do cultivate some new friends! - Sid

________________________
95 dB loss, Audigy Epoqs
 
Also, I really like my job. Maybe I can get moved to a different cubicle away from certain people. It's really only that one supervisor and the women that sit in front of me.
 
I'd keep a log of things like when and who you make aware as well as assignments they give. And a copy of your duties originally assigned. Just to CYA in case something comes up down the line. Additional duties as assigned is pretty broad, but knowing any limitations you have at time of hire and prior to assigning them would help you.
 
That sounds good. I still have all the emails and such. I think if it stops then I won't do anything, but if it keeps going like this then I will say something.
 
It's not about your limitations. It's about what you can do for them. Remember if you have problem, point out what you have done. Ask, can someone else do what you have done for them? Wow, you are an asset to the company. It's about how you carry yourself.
 
Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Also it may help to have a Hearing loss awareness speaker come in and talk to the staff as a staff meeting. This is helpful not only in improving how the staff understand your hearing loss, but also any clients etc who may be hoh or deaf.
 
You could always use: S.T.E.P WITH ME......look at my signature below. I know a number of people, including myself, who opt to Voice-off. It will cause a stir believe me but if you push through and insist, you can breakthrough those brickwalls. It doesn't happen overnight but with determination you can make those changes. Don't give up!
 
BecLak said:
You could always use: S.T.E.P WITH ME......look at my signature below. I know a number of people, including myself, who opt to Voice-off. It will cause a stir believe me but if you push through and insist, you can breakthrough those brickwalls. It doesn't happen overnight but with determination you can make those changes. Don't give up!
Click to expand...


That's great advice! Thank you!! I can add it to my email signature at work. :) Hope you don't mind!
 
Looks like this has been answered pretty thoroughly. ADA requires reasonable accommodation (which use of e-mail most certainly is), but it can't stop people from being jerks. I prefer to believe that most people do that out of ignorance. Hopefully they'll be open to some education on what it's like to function as HoH in a hearing world, and how much work you're already putting in to accommodate them. Communication is a two-way street; you're not the only one responsible for its success.

I noticed the families of my clients often assumed a hearing aid was a cure. In some cases, we had to do some significant retraining of THEM to help them understand how complex speech is, and start thinking about what they can do to facilitate understanding (like talking more slowly as opposed to shouting, making sure lips are visible, rephrasing, and not just saying "Nevermind").

I wonder if it would open their eyes to try going silent but still moving your lips...let them understand that this is what you're working with, and it IS work. But they sound like they're not too open to your perspective.
 
i understand what you mean it was very frustrating in early days of my deafness and family were the worse..i also find lip reading wareing if people are talking at normal speed and i been to many lip reading classes..
i think beclak advice good
 
I can't imagine giving up speaking. Why would anyone want to make their life more difficult? This is just my personal opinion, and it is not meant to offend, but going "voice off" seems pretty passive aggressive to me. I don't think going "voice off" would endear someone to people who are aware that they can speak. Instead I would use my voice to gently remind my co-workers that I was unable to hearr them.

Again, that is just my two cents, I wish you luck with whichever decision you make.
 
Wirelessly posted

softabak said:
BecLak said:
You could always use: S.T.E.P WITH ME......look at my signature below. I know a number of people, including myself, who opt to Voice-off. It will cause a stir believe me but if you push through and insist, you can breakthrough those brickwalls. It doesn't happen overnight but with determination you can make those changes. Don't give up!
Click to expand...


That's great advice! Thank you!! I can add it to my email signature at work. :) Hope you don't mind!
Click to expand...

Don't mind at all - go right ahead. :)
 
Wirelessly posted

TXgolfer said:
I can't imagine giving up speaking. Why would anyone want to make their life more difficult? This is just my personal opinion, and it is not meant to offend, but going "voice off" seems pretty passive aggressive to me. I don't think going "voice off" would endear someone to people who are aware that they can speak. Instead I would use my voice to gently remind my co-workers that I was unable to hearr them.

Again, that is just my two cents, I wish you luck with whichever decision you make.
Click to expand...

It is a 'loud and clear' statement. It will stir the waters at first but after it settles it will calm and everyone will accept it eventually. It takes courage and determination to make change happen.
 
i have to disagree about god design you that way....sh1t happens and nothing devine in it.although i can understand having voice off but not for the reasons softabek beclak are voice off.
 
Isn't the debate of going "voice off"(assuming one can still speak) a regression to "Deaf" reaction the Council of Milan in 1881. Ostensibly that" Deaf persons" should NOT use ASL et al but be taught to use their voice?



As to the observation of caz12- a variant thought- isn't it a "theological assertion" that God even created all Hearing persons as well?
 
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