deaf/hearing... and INTERPRETER

horsegal

horsegal

New Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
Hey there!
I am hearing and have been in a relationship with a Deaf man for about 2 years now. Things are going great! I have become much more fluent in ASL, and we will both graduate college in May. I will then go on to be an interpreter.
The most recent thing that has come up is, when he comes with me to a doctor's appointment, I have typically just interpreted for him (at my appointments). But today, after reading up on the subject, I had an interpreter come with us to my appointment. I broke my arm, so being busy with my hands during the appointment and interpreting at the same time seemed a little tough. Not impossible but it was nice to have the extra help. However, the situation seemed awkward. The doctor didn't know what to do with the interpreter in the room, the receptionist gave me a little crap about it when I tried to ask for an interpreter for the person who would be with me at the appointment ("sorry we only book interpreters for patients...")... and then the interpreter herself was very cold, like she thought I was an idiot for having her there. When the doctor asked her why she was there, she shrugged and said "I"m here for her" pointing at me, and not at my boyfriend. So I'm not sure really what the idea is here -- I know I'm allowed to have an interpreter for my boyfriend, and as a deaf man he more than deserves accommodations if he wants to accompany me to my appointments. I also felt like I should be communicating through the interpreter as well, but that almost feels like lying.
This is a man I will marry someday so I know this kind of stuff will come up again and again. Do you guys have any thoughts? Comments? Things I need to clarify? I really appreciate all your help! :)
 
Why do you have your boyfriend accompanying you to medical appointments?

And he is not entitled to an interpreter for your appointments. You are not his child.
 
That interpreter has no business being an interpreter. You don't have to worry. That interpreter makes it look bad. SOme people are jerk.
 
Bottesini said:
Why do you have your boyfriend accompanying you to medical appointments?

And he is not entitled to an interpreter for your appointments. You are not his child.
Click to expand...

What if I were pregnant with his child and going to a pre-natal appointment, would that change things?
What if he were hearing? He'd have complete access. He is a part of my life so in my opinion he is entitled to come along with me to my medical appointments...
 
horsegal said:
What if I were pregnant with his child and going to a pre-natal appointment, would that change things?
What if he were hearing? He'd have complete access. He is a part of my life so in my opinion he is entitled to come along with me to my medical appointments...
Click to expand...

If you want him there of course.

I don't believe he is legally entitled to an interpreter.

It looks really co dependent for an adult to take a SO to medical appointments though.
 
horsegal said:
What if I were pregnant with his child and going to a pre-natal appointment, would that change things?
What if he were hearing? He'd have complete access. He is a part of my life so in my opinion he is entitled to come along with me to my medical appointments...
Click to expand...

I think it's great that you want to provide complete access for your boyfriend, but however, the interpreter is only meant to be used for and by the patient. It isn't meant for the person who accompanies you.

I understand that he's a big part of your life and I'd suggest you to look into further issue on ADA about what it says of using the interpreter for the person that accompanies you. I suppose, it will be a big difference if he were to be your husband rather than being your boyfriend.
 
Feel that was a waste of $$...you can hear, you are not deaf....and with the shortage of intrepetors here in my city....:hmm:
 
I feel like if you were pregnant it's a bit different as SO's usually go to the appointments and in that situation a terp shuld be provided but not a regular doctors appt that doesn't concern him...
 
Even if she was pregnant, she is able to sign to her boyfriend....right now guessing her arm is in a cast (broken arm), but won't be for 9 months I believe...
 
Ya but just like if she was going to the hospital with him she shouldn't have to terp for him whether she's fluent or not. I wouldn't expect him to not be able to get a terp when she's in labour just because she can sign. It's situational..Personally I wouldn't want to have to sign everything for baby appts it would be nice to have a terp rather than me doing it...especially if I'm in labour.
 
This has me a little baffled for a few reasons so I'll start with the one that crossed my mind first ... why exactly is the boyfriend coming in with you for your doctor's appointments? Are they pre-natal appointments or does he accompany you for another reason?
 
lovezebras said:
Ya but just like if she was going to the hospital with him she shouldn't have to terp for him whether she's fluent or not. I wouldn't expect him to not be able to get a terp when she's in labour just because she can sign. It's situational..Personally I wouldn't want to have to sign everything for baby appts it would be nice to have a terp rather than me doing it...especially if I'm in labour.
Click to expand...

Only the patient is entitled under the ADA and the patient is not deaf.
 
Actually under the ADA, the patient or anyone who will be providing care is entitled to an interpreter. Anyone who will be participating in the care of the patient. Also in my city we have an OVER abundance of interpreters.
I can respect that you think it looks codependent to have a SO come to my doctor appointments, but if we have one car, are carpooling places, sometimes it is the only thing that makes sense. And also he and I are of the belief that a husband and wife should be actively involved in each others lives. And so sometimes that means we look a little codependent, but if you want to judge it that way, that's your opinion and I'm alright with that. :)
 
As an interpreter, here's my opinion:

Boyfriends and girlfriends have no business attending each other's medical appointments. I'm really surprised that the doctors allow this especially with all the concerns for patient privacy.

Interpreters can be and should be provided for people who aren't the patient if they are responsible for the patient's care. For instance, if the patient is a hearing minor and the parent is deaf, or the patient is a hearing adult and the care-giver (spouse, parent, adult sibling or child) is deaf.

The interpreter is hired by and paid by the doctor or hospital. The interpreter's client is the doctor or hospital, and the interpreting consumer is whomever uses the terp's services. If the interpreter is providing two-way services, such as between the doctor and patient, then both the doctor and patient are consumers.
 
horsegal said:
...I can respect that you think it looks codependent to have a SO come to my doctor appointments, but if we have one car, are carpooling places, sometimes it is the only thing that makes sense.
Click to expand...
In that case, the other member of the carpool sits in the car or waiting room, not in the examining room with the patient.

And also he and I are of the belief that a husband and wife should be actively involved in each others lives. And so sometimes that means we look a little codependent, but if you want to judge it that way, that's your opinion and I'm alright with that. :)
Click to expand...
Even with a husband and wife, it's not automatically presumed that they should be attending appointments together. They may, if each other request it, but it's not an automatic right. In fact, in some cases, it's discouraged because medical staff are concerned about lack of complete honesty by patients in the presence of an intimidating spouse.

A recent boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is not the same as a life-long committed relationship, or a couple sharing in parenthood.
 
rockin'robin said:
Even if she was pregnant, she is able to sign to her boyfriend....right now guessing her arm is in a cast (broken arm), but won't be for 9 months I believe...
Click to expand...
Heh, heh, right. Broken arms don't last as long as pregnancies. :giggle:
 
I have to agree with the others on here. You're not pregnant, you're not married, the issue of a broken arm does not rise to the level of two people being there for the appointment.

If your boyfriend wants to be there for the appointment and have an interpreter, he needs to try and make the arrangements for it. It's his job to take care of those things.

It's nice that you want him there, but him being in the waiting room when you get out is all you need for this.

When/if you get married or have a child together, it can then be argued that this service needs to be provided and payed for by the state. Until that time, you're two separate people.
 
horsegal said:
... then the interpreter herself was very cold, like she thought I was an idiot for having her there. When the doctor asked her why she was there, she shrugged and said "I"m here for her" pointing at me, and not at my boyfriend.
Click to expand...
The terp answered wrong. She should have replied, "I'm here to facilitate communication between the hearing and deaf people here."

So I'm not sure really what the idea is here -- I know I'm allowed to have an interpreter for my boyfriend,
Click to expand...
Based on what? You need to be able to reference something official to back that up.

... and as a deaf man he more than deserves accommodations if he wants to accompany me to my appointments.
Click to expand...
Sorry, "deserves" isn't a legal obligation; that's not the same as "is entitled to by law." It sounds like you are using feelings rather than facts to support your stand.

I also felt like I should be communicating through the interpreter as well, but that almost feels like lying.
Click to expand...
If you aren't communicating thru the terp, then why is the terp there?

This is a man I will marry someday so I know this kind of stuff will come up again and again.
Click to expand...
You are engaged? When is the wedding date?
 
Reba said:
A recent boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is not the same as a life-long committed relationship, or a couple sharing in parenthood.
Click to expand...

Ha! Gosh I know how it sounds, like an 18 year old girl saying "oh my BOYFRIEND, we're sooooooo in love, blablablabla!"
This is a committed relationship. If we had the money we would be married. We have been together for 2 years. I know more experienced people tend to look down on that "oh honey, you don't know a thing." Maybe we don't but I can assure you this is a committed relationship. Would it be different if we'd been together for 10 years?
I appreciate the perspectives. These are waters I need to learn to navigate :)
 
Back
Top