deaf and left out of the loop

khrixmrozh

khrixmrozh

New Member
Joined
Oct 18, 2011
Messages
38
Reaction score
0
Hello, my name is Kharism. I was adopted and raised to speak English. That's fine, I like speaking English. But I feel like that my hearing specialist mother was an idiot not to teach me sign language as well. I have lost my hearing aid recently and I don't have the means to replace it right now. In the meantime, I'm stuck lip-reading at work where most of my customers' enunciation is absolutely atrocious.
More about me, less about my problem, although my problem brought me here.
I am twenty years old. I was born with bilaterally deformed cochleae. I lost 65 decibels bilaterally in the first year and continued to lose hearing until I hit the profound range at 18. I'm not sure if my hearing loss is stable or not. I have a cochlear implant in the right ear, but the success is too limited. I only hear the same white noise I've heard in my childhood. But I do continue to wear the CI because I can tell where the sound comes from and how loud it is. My hearing aid in the left ear helps with sound discrimination, which I have always thought was pretty good considering my hearing loss. It is at least good enough to facilitate normal speech. I have Asperger's Syndrome. The loss of the use of my hearing does cause me anxiety which AS is not helping.
I was raised Mormon, but I am now exMormon. I'm living with my hearing boyfriend who has AS too. I'm estranged from my family because I really don't appreciate the dysfunction I grew up with.
I resent my mum in particular for being such a freak about me being "normal." No sign language and no Deaf peers. Thanks, Mum, you really think you know best, eh?
I am abnormal in almost every way. My personality is abnormal due to AS, my disability makes it difficult to work, my metabolism is messed up due to hypoglycemia, and yeah, abnormal or not, I'm bisexual. Nothing about me is normal.
I think that's it for now. (Honestly, I'm feeling angry right now).
Kharism
 
Nice to meet you

Hi Kharism,
It is nice to meet you. I know that anger you are feeling. But it is never too late to get into the community and learn asl. I have met many people who were born deaf but didnt learn sign language until they were adults. I use to resent my mum too, then I realized that dispite some stupid decisions our parents may make most of them are only doing what they think is best. It may not be the best thing for us. and there is no way to place a positive spin on why she didnt teach you or have you learn asl early but be thankful that you now have the chance. Depending on what city you are in there may be places you can go that can help you find a free most likely used hearing aid. But its better than nothing. I also see you made a point to point out that you are not normal. Well I say good for you, because normal is boring. Keep your head up and good luck to you. I hope you are feeling a little better by now.

Kelly
 
Kharism:wave:

I was always the "different" one, born very prematurely, speech and language problems. Un-diagnosed learning disability for many years; am also bi. Among other "differences".
It can be very hard to feel like you're alone, and don't fit in.
There are a few folks on here who are on the spectrum and maybe someone of them and others in general will come along soon too.
Hope ya stay-
 
Welcome!!!!!! I'm a lot like you are. I'm lesbian, HOH etc. I do wonder....do you actually have Asperger's or is it just the normal social issues that oral kids deal with? One of the evil secrets they don't tell you is that oral kids very often have major major social issues in the hearing world. But when we're put into a Deaf community, it goes away! The social issues are such a perheninal issue that it's a big thing at the Clarke School mainstream conference. I feel you on the resentment. I know my parents tried to do the best thing..And they DO now say they should have learned ASL and sent me to Deaf School. ....but they still have NO fucking CLUE how bad it was, especially in this hellhole of a town.
 
khrixmrozh said:
Nothing about me is normal.
Click to expand...

I know the feeling! HoH, also bisexual, left-handed, vegan... :giggle:

But how boring would the world be without people like us?! :dance:

:welcome: to AD. I hope you've found a place where you can feel comfortable!
 
Ildri:)

fits me.....though not left-handed

hubby left-handed though. hubby deaf.

:wave:DD, Travis and Safarigirl
 
Ildri said:
I know the feeling! HoH, also bisexual, left-handed, vegan... :giggle:

But how boring would the world be without people like us?! :dance:

:welcome: to AD. I hope you've found a place where you can feel comfortable!
Click to expand...

Are you guys into folk music? Maybe we need a Deaf Meet-Up at Falcon Ridge falcon ridge folk festival : home They've got 'terped performances and a plethora of amazing people.
 
You see pretty 'normal' to me and will fit right in. There are lots of threads about your very experience that you can read. Welcome. :wave:

I'm Deaf, raised oral and mainstream and Mormon (now ex). I feel for you.
 
Ildri said:
Hmm. It's not my favorite genre, but it's not bad. And it could be fun to try something new! I say go for it :dance2:
Click to expand...

Oh that would be AWESOME! I know my second mom would love to meet all of you! (she is hearing but Signs) We need to organize a formal AllDeaf get togehter for FRFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
DD, don't know if you include me or are referencing more the newer people but if u are ihncluding me, then yeah, if I could ever get there, I'd be in!
I like folk, especially womyn's and protest folk, went to lotsa folk music events in college! :)
 
Hello all,
Yes, I'm autistic. I read up on it after I was diagnosed in college. A lot of things described me to a T: hatred of tags and other irritants on clothes, difficulty reading emotion, even the nasty temper, somewhat picky with food (ie I like baked potatoes but I hate mashed potatoes due to the texture), occasional panic freak-outs, personal space issues, OCD, mild ADHD, and delayed language (I wore hearing aids consistently since I was 2, but still remained silent until I was 5 when I started to imitate sounds), social awkwardness (I didn't even get along with the kids in Deaf preschool except one), etc etc. Point is, they're right this time.
I do love to hear. I love to hear voices, my boyfriend (who also has AS) being the favorite. I love music, most everything except country (I just hate it. Must be the AS). I prefer hard rock, death metal, bagpipe music, Russian music (I don't speak Russian yet but I swear they have a great ear for tweaking sound!). I did try to learn piano and bells (type of xylophones), but I don't have the attention span for it. I don't like the train PA beeping as it is unbearably loud, I really hate fire alarms (they used to cause panic freakouts in elementary school), but there isn't too much that irritates me. However, I find that the music is a fucking ton better if I can feel the bass, the vibrations running through me. That gets me dancing!
I have LGBTQ friends who gave me support while I was in the process of accepting that I'm bi. I thank them for that. But I think it's fantastic that I found some who are deaf/hoh AND LGBTQ.
Some of us are very different people, fitting several extremes at once. Nice to know I'm not alone. :)
Kharism
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. I felt the same like you when I first made the introduction thread about how I had suffered in the mainstream school and that my mom never stand up to help me get ASL and go to the Deaf school. That was five years ago. You are never alone and you suffered like we do.

I hope you have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
 
I think if you looked dysfunction family my famliy would be at the top of the list!! I know how it feel to be left of of the loop. Could you get some help from rehab with getting a new HA , you do need it for work.
I moved 3,000 miles to get away from my famliy , I was angry at my mother from not stopping my dad from abusing me. I was able to forgive my mother for not being there for me in a lot of ways. I can only speak for myself when I say this, I am so glad I was able to stop being angry at my mother as she lived to be 93 years old and that would a hell of along time to stay angry with someone. I am still trying to find a 'normal' person , and had no luck yet!!
 
Back
Top