CI's, ASL, miscommunication, and the Deaf community

[neecy]

In another thread, Lilly's Dad mentioned that he took her to a Deaf Nation event and was confronted with hostility, revulsion, negativity and disdain because his daughter has a CI, and he wants to give her the chance to be involved with the deaf community.

So many times over the last while, I've read people here decry that hearing parents implant their chilren then deny them the opportunity to learn about the deaf community and Deaf culture. When parents are faced with disgust when they have an implanted child, or told that the reason for it is because they're "just there to rub CI's in the faces of the deaf community" (totally untrue), called "audists", and insulted at every turn, is it any wonder more parents of implanted children don't even try to make contact with the deaf community?

The deaf community decries that implanted children (and even adults) are leaving, but they make no attempt to try to meet them halfway, and when parents TRY to teach their children ASL/sign language and give their children the opportunity to learn, they're rediculed. When miscommunication happens based on misinformation that is passed around the deaf community (CI's mean you have an open hole in your head. CI's mean you can't have showers or swim. CI's make people hate the deaf community, CI's are cultural genocide), and an effort is made to educate them on the facts, it falls on "deaf ears" (no pun intended) and its pointedly ignored - so that the same arguement/misinformation can be brought up again and again. In the face of such ignorance, many throw in the towel.

HOW can we find a way so that parents of implanted children CAN become involved with the deaf community, so BOTH can learn about each other without the heckling?

I don't want this thread turning into "I hate" debate - I would like to hear suggestions on how the THREE cultures (hearing, deaf, and CI-assisted) can come together in harmony. Its a big beautiful world - we should all be able to live together happily.

suggestions? ideas?

 

[highlands]

In my opinion , there are deaf,hard of hearing,CI assisted,hearing cultures...

I don't know exactly how these cultures can come together..
They have diversity in theirselves..

Deaf culture is based on sign language and visual communication..
Hard of hearing culture is a mixture of deaf and hearing cultures..
the CI assisted are more close to hearing culture but they are part of deaf community..

The only way of being in harmony is of dialogue ,patience and tolerance ...
Dialogue requires listening and talking to others..
Patience requires to have constant wish about coming together..
Tolerance is the most difficult part and requires respecting other people's opposite ideas and not to judging them for who they are...

Sharing beauties of our worlds and supporting each other when we need assistance may be helpful too.

I don't know if I said anything helpful...

 

[Audiofuzzy]

Deaf culture is based on sign language and visual communication..

So, basically you say if I can both speak, listen and sign and use other visual devices, I still can not belong to the deaf culture?

Fuzzy

 

[Deaf Images]

Labels??

HOW can we find a way so that parents of implanted children CAN become involved with the deaf community, so BOTH can learn about each other without the heckling?

suggestions? ideas?

It is the "labels" that make noises...

simply lump us together under "human beings"

and we are the same family!

 

[deafdyke]

Well, CIs are SLOWLY but SURELY becoming more accepted. I know it seems tough, but remember it's been only about five years since NAD changed their position statement on CIs.

 

[Cheri]

Who says life was gotta be easy? It takes time and patience.

 

[neecy]

Well, CIs are SLOWLY but SURELY becoming more accepted. I know it seems tough, but remember it's been only about five years since NAD changed their position statement on CIs.

Good point. I remember when I was at RIT/NTID in the early 90's, one student that was on my floor had a CI. NOBODY referred to him by his name, he was a non-entity called "That guy with the CI."

I am looking forward to seeing more tolerance and progress moving forward and acceptance towards CI's like HA's were accepted. Maybe another 10-15 years down the road

 

[Cousin Vinny]

Good point. I remember when I was at RIT/NTID in the early 90's, one student that was on my floor had a CI. NOBODY referred to him by his name, he was a non-entity called "That guy with the CI."

Really? At the time, I thought the Deaf community at NTID were light years ahead of Gallaudet's Deaf community in terms of accepting CI, oral methods of communication, integration with the mainstream community, etc.

I am looking forward to seeing more tolerance and progress moving forward and acceptance towards CI's like HA's were accepted. Maybe another 10-15 years down the road

I look forward to that, too, and am trying to do my part, being more accepting of my peers and the choices they've made. More importantly, I look for more ASL users among the CI population.

 

[Cloggy]

...........
suggestions? ideas?

I believe that exposure to stories/experiences from both sides will help to create insight in each others worlds. I share my stories (as a father with a deaf child) and listen to stories of people that are deaf/hoh/ci.

If fear is driving the gap between all these different worlds, then familiarisation with the worlds is the way to close the gap. We should focus on that.

 

[neecy]

I agree that sharing stories and experiences show that we aren't "crazy/wierd/abnormal/anti-XYZ" for getting CI's. Its nice to see that slowly attitudes are changing. There are some people very vocal in Deaf Culture getting CI's and hopefully that will show that they're the same people they always have been. Its also been cool to hear the stories of people who used to be anti-CI and through education, they have changed their opinions and some have even gotten implanted!

I hope the trend continues.

 

[Cheri]

I agree that sharing stories and experiences show that we aren't "crazy/wierd/abnormal/anti-XYZ" for getting CI's. Its nice to see that slowly attitudes are changing. There are some people very vocal in Deaf Culture getting CI's and hopefully that will show that they're the same people they always have been. Its also been cool to hear the stories of people who used to be anti-CI and through education, they have changed their opinions and some have even gotten implanted!

I hope the trend continues.

You make it sounds like people with CI are so innocent, Maybe if you stop and look back, and think "is it me the person with a CI with an attitude issue?" Don't go on fingering pointing onto ONLY the Deaf or those you "think" are anti-CI. It goes both ways Hun, both ways!

 

[Audiofuzzy]

You make it sounds like people with CI are so innocent, Maybe if you stop and look back, and think "is it me the person with a CI with an attitude issue?" Don't go on fingering pointing onto ONLY the Deaf or those you "think" are anti-CI. It goes both ways Hun, both ways!

I agree that sometimes implanted deaf pple turn their back on deaf community but in this thread it is said clearly it is more often than not the fault of deaf community because of rejecting implanted pple calling them borgs etc.

""In another thread, Lilly's Dad mentioned that he took her to a Deaf Nation event and was confronted with hostility, revulsion, negativity and disdain because his daughter has a CI, and he wants to give her the chance to be involved with the deaf community.""

I admire Cheri your passion for deaf culture and standing up for 'deafies' like a lioness but let's discuss what really happens here as Neecy pointed out:

>>>So many times over the last while, I've read people here decry that hearing parents implant their chilren then deny them the opportunity to learn about the deaf community and Deaf culture.........The deaf community decries that implanted children (and even adults) are leaving, but they make no attempt to try to meet them halfway, and when parents TRY to teach their children ASL/sign language and give their children the opportunity to learn, they're rediculed. <<< -

and don't forget Lilly's dad bad experience - obvious and total rejection.



there is already a lot of threads about how CI pple turn their backs on deaf ways and are leaving deaf culture but nothing about the true colors of the deaf community when people get CI or worse, implant their children.

so let's stick to THIS subject about how deaf community treats these people.
I for one am interested.

Fuzzy

 

[Cheri]

so let's stick to THIS subject about how deaf community treats these people.
I for one am interested.

You people had no problem ruining ^Angel^'s thread and "You" are telling me to stick with this subject? Maybe you need to practice what you preach when you go on someone else's thread.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

Well yeah, that is true Angel's thread was kinda mutilated a few times so I accept your anger but please let's get back on track for now, OK?

Fuzzy

 

[neecy]

You make it sounds like people with CI are so innocent, Maybe if you stop and look back, and think "is it me the person with a CI with an attitude issue?" Don't go on fingering pointing onto ONLY the Deaf or those you "think" are anti-CI. It goes both ways Hun, both ways!

I don't follow you. I'm not accusing anybody, there are several people on this board who have made posts that they used to be anti-CI (THEIR words not mine) and after being educated they've either changed their stance on CI's, gotten an implant, or both.

Re-read my post - there's NOTHING inflammatory or negative in it and there is no attitude or finger pointing either.

 

[Cheri]

I don't follow you. I'm not accusing anybody.

Its nice to see that slowly attitudes are changing

Who were you accusing then?

 

[Passivist]

A few decibels advantage here or there defines Deaf from other deaf, and from hearing, for which there are sectors of profoundly deaf people who will not then see a CI user any different from a hearing person, and then see them as 'traitors' to some obscure deaf cause. It's fear, the more that gain some hearing of use, the less deaf freinds they are likely to have, if I was to regain just 30% useful hearing, I would rejoin the hearing community immediately. As it is I invented my own, the Undeaf, neither hearing or 'Deaf'. This undeaf term has now been entered alongside the cultural deaf description too, bringing about a suggestion a third alternative (two are hearing, and 'Deaf'), is now emerging. Is the balance of power and support now being split more evenly ? Clear water emerging between 'Deaf', and everyone else with a hearing loss ? Is this not a logicalprogression that will leave the 'Deaf' as a stand-alone sector (It isn't at present), and give the rest an opportunity for an identity too ? Would you see this as divisive, or a logical acceptance of others choice, even IF it suggests non-unity of approaches ?

 

[neecy]

Who were you accusing then?

If you would bother to read the entire post I wasn't ACCUSING anyone. I was stating fact, based on the reaction Lilly's Dad received. Its sad he was treated the way he was, but from talking to others here I'm glad to see that attitudes are changing. Clear now? Not EVERYTHING I type is inflammatory or accusing you know.

 

[rockdrummer]

From my perspective it's an issue of acceptance. It's about live and let live. It's about the ability to agree to disagree but still get along with each other. And as Ecevit said, its about patience and tolerence. Even though most sensible people can agree on this there will still be extremist's out there (such as what Lilly's dad encounterd) that will make it difficult on people. I don't believe this is the norm in the deaf community because of postings I have read here where people are still accepting towards others. If there are extremists out there that choose to behave the way they did to Lilly's dad...then the rest of the deaf community needs to come down on them hard and let them know that their behavior is not acceptable and is in fact hurting the deaf culture. Just my opinion for what it's worth.

 

[loml]

Peter Pan Syndrome

rockdrummer

From my perspective it's an issue of acceptance. It's about live and let live. It's about the ability to agree to disagree but still get along with each other

Which, imo, only comes with maturity.

Lets face it, some people never grow up.