Blonde Joke

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DreamDeaf

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Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat
down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The
10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge
of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Homer and
said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Homer says,"You know, I bet he'll jump." The
blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Homer placed $20 on the bar and
said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy
did swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was
very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's
your money." Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier
on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replies, "I did
too; but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money.......
 
A blonde walks into a barber shop with a set of headphones on, to get a hair cut. She signs in and waits her turn for the barber to call her name. When its finally her turn, the barber tells her "you're going to have to take those headphones off." She replies "I can't take them off." So the barber just shrugs, and takes her to his seat. After a couple of minutes he becomes curious, and pulls the headphones off. After a minute the blonde falls over unconscious. The barber, completely dumbfounded, puts the headphones upto his ear. Its a tape repeating "breathe in, breathe out."

A burnette is hopping down a train track, saying 21 21 21 21. A blonde sees her and starts hopping on the track behind her, say 21 21 21 21. A train comes along. The burnette jumps out of the way. The blonde continues hopping. The train hits and blond. After it passes, the burnette gets back on the train track and starts hopping again, saying 22 22 22 22.
 
:squint: :squint: :squint:Those blondes makes me look so dumb since im blonde too :squint: :squint: :squint:




:P :giggle:

P.S. naw im not pissed or anything... im used to it lol i think i have heard them all and truly dislike only one of them. I refuse to tell anybody what joke i found was very very offensive... but most of it is funny :)
 
My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway,
the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was
jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and
down along with her. When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news
for you!"

I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about."

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the
jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant!

I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her
and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be
happier!"

Then, she said "Oh, honey. There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just! one baby. We are going
to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after
getting pregnant, I Asked her how she knew. She said,

"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought
the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came
out positive!"
 
The two Blonde girls

The 2 beautiful Blonde girls pull up to park the car and got out. One said to other “Oh No!!, I left my keys in the car and the door are lock!. What should we do?”

The other blonde thinks for moments and reply “let get the clothes hanger and pry it through the window to unlock the car?”

The other blonde said “No, because it will ruin the rubber part of the windows.”

The other blondes said “Well, we better hurry because the rain is about to come down soon and we left the topper down”…,

LoneOak :laugh2:
 
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