Bedtime Battle

[MsGiglz]

DoofusMama - I was even offened by your post. I'm a single mom of 3 children. I get tired of getting parenting adivce from married parents (or someone with a partner). It's completely different when you're single. You are trying to do the work of two parents on your own. There are going to be things that don't get done, or done properly.

like i said you and others have rights to be offended..

Umm... I am not the one of married parents.. I have been single mom for 7 years.. with 4 children.. before i met current man couple years ago..

I understand about single mom with children.. I had NO help or support for 7 years.. it was HELL.. you may ask few friends who knew me in here.. FlyFree.. SmileyGin.. anyways.. I am sure its not important to you..

but still.. single parent needs to fix the problem not taking out and making excuses.. I know its exhausting and frustrated.. but thats part of parenting.. and we asked for children.. we are the responsible..

 

[ThreeLittleBear]

DoofusMama - I didn't mean to say you were married or not, it ws just where my train of thought led me. I had also intended to say that I hate when my sisters (none of them have kids) try to tell me how to parent too. But I got called away from the computer before I typed it and forgot by the time I got back.

 

[Iceriver]

Doofusmama - I understand what you are saying, but please ask questions to get facts. Not all parenting methods are the same. We all think differently and doing things our way. Nobody is making excuses or anything. Who can fix every problem? It’s impossible. We are only human beings. The most important that we try our best and do what we think is right. There’s no point in stressing yourself too much. I have seen horrible parenting and there’s no excuse for that.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Ahhh...

I've been there before.. when my 3 children were toddlers that time.. I've been patience and sit and stare my child their bed... When child get out the bed and walk... acting up alike pretend.. forgot pee, wanting water, and blah blah name it.. I kept encourge child go bed.... and go back sit and watch...
Not too close your child's bdrm... Just distance away... To make sure your child stay bed.. will fall sleep... as long you can keep eye your child... Your child will give up becaue you kept "telling me go bedtime".

My children did that way... give up then fall sleep..

Do you have night light? If no... should have one at hallway... or in their bedroom.. your child feel secure safe..
Who knows..

 

[Iceriver]

Ahhh...

I've been there before.. when my 3 children were toddlers that time.. I've been patience and sit and stare my child their bed... When child get out the bed and walk... acting up alike pretend.. forgot pee, wanting water, and blah blah name it.. I kept encourge child go bed.... and go back sit and watch...
Not too close your child's bdrm... Just distance away... To make sure your child stay bed.. will fall sleep... as long you can keep eye your child... Your child will give up becaue you kept "telling me go bedtime".

My children did that way... give up then fall sleep..

Do you have night light? If no... should have one at hallway... or in their bedroom.. your child feel secure safe..
Who knows..

Yes there is a nightlight in my son's room. So I can take a peek in to see if hes sleeping or still awake, and to make my son feels safe.

 

[Foxrac]

My son is hearing. I have tried putting music on, but he didnt like it and wanted me to turn it off.

About sugar, I don't think it's going to work. He is very stubborn even though he shows signs that hes over tired. Its rare that he would ask me that he's tired and want to go to bed.

If he can't catch up with you then you need take him to see doctor and doctor would find out if he have sleep problem, also doctor would write up the Rx or need get direction to get liquid sleep medicine.

If still not work and too stubborn then he need see behavior counselor if they can give an therapy to him to make improving his behavior.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Im sure that many will PM me and scold me :Ohno: but hey, there are worse crimes than letting my girls sleep with me. I had so many battles and I had to pick out which was important - in other countries, babies/children sleep with their parents but not here in USA where they firmly believe that children must be independent in very early stages of lives.

Interesting! I can understand that every countries have different mentality but I respectfully disagree to this because young children need their parent´s attention and affection. It´s no good to expose children into independent at earlier. They still need their parents until they grow out automatic.

I´m surprised that some of posts saying that it´s not right to offer their children to sleep with their parents but here in Europe, never thought about this...

Alot of parents here in Europe let their children to sleep with them including us. My both boys were on and off to sleep with me everytime they have nightmare, or feel want to with me until they were 7 to 8 years old... They stop automatic...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No, its not summer thing, it is all season I have been trying to get my son to go to bed early instead of before 12. But daylight savings does have a part to the problem because my son recongizes the difference between daylight and night time because if I tell him its time for bedtime, and he would say no its not night time yet, its still daylight out! grr. He doesnt know how to tell time, so its a problem.

Turn TV off one hour before bedtime, play with child until he/she wore out then go bed... Don´t give child something to eat where sugar including and also not drink before he/she go bed. Like what I said in my earlier post.

Get him a big clock.

 

[Iceriver]

I dont like the idea of taking him to doctor and giving him sleeping pills. It doesnt feel right. But I will consider if everything else fails. I just hope some of suggestions will be successful. I havent tried them out yet because my son is away at his Father's house for a few days and he will be back tonight. We'll talk about cutting down tv, sugar, etc and work on fun schedule like big clock, stickers and etc this week.

 

[Angel]

Not all parenting methods are the same. We all think differently and doing things our way. Nobody is making excuses or anything. Who can fix every problem? It’s impossible. We are only human beings. The most important that we try our best and do what we think is right. There’s no point in stressing yourself too much. I have seen horrible parenting and there’s no excuse for that.

Well said!

 

[Foxrac]

No, its not summer thing, it is all season I have been trying to get my son to go to bed early instead of before 12. But daylight savings does have a part to the problem because my son recongizes the difference between daylight and night time because if I tell him its time for bedtime, and he would say no its not night time yet, its still daylight out! grr. He doesnt know how to tell time, so its a problem.

Where's you from? In LA area, sunset is start in around 8:30.

I just give better result, your son need stay up until around 8:30 pm to 9:00 pm then sunset would done and he will accept to fall asleep soon, also buy clock to prove to him too. You can give him an trick or play until he getting tired or worn out then he would start fell asleep. Don't let him to drink Coke or Pepsi and he would start wild, just like happen to most little children.

 

[suicidegirl]

If he can't catch up with you then you need take him to see doctor and doctor would find out if he have sleep problem, also doctor would write up the Rx or need get direction to get liquid sleep medicine.

If still not work and too stubborn then he need see behavior counselor if they can give an therapy to him to make improving his behavior.

so you're reccomending that she drug her THREE YEAR OLD child just because her child doesn't go to bed on time??? no way! three is too young for any type of sedatives!

it's actually normal- many children have bedtime struggles. i don't think anyone should take drastic measures such as medication or therapy, unless it's a SERIOUS issue.

 

[suicidegirl]

Interesting! I can understand that every countries have different mentality but I respectfully disagree to this because young children need their parent´s attention and affection. It´s no good to expose children into independent at earlier. They still need their parents until they grow out automatic.

I´m surprised that some of posts saying that it´s not right to offer their children to sleep with their parents but here in Europe, never thought about this...

Alot of parents here in Europe let their children to sleep with them including us. My both boys were on and off to sleep with me everytime they have nightmare, or feel want to with me until they were 7 to 8 years old... They stop automatic...

i agree with you- americans and europeans have a very different mentality when it comes to raising children. examples? europeans don't tend to pratice circumcision, etc etc. also, co-sleeping (the act of sleeping in the same bed with your children) is a lot more acceptable in europe.

BUT

co-sleeping is slowly gaining popularity here in america. i co-slept with my son until he was approximately two and i loved it. sometimes i still share my bed with him, but it's a snug fit with the three of us. i also plan to co-sleep with my next child. i think co-sleeping is great, i wish more parents would consider co-sleeping

 

[Foxrac]

so you're reccomending that she drug her THREE YEAR OLD child just because her child doesn't go to bed on time??? no way! three is too young for any type of sedatives!

it's actually normal- many children have bedtime struggles. i don't think anyone should take drastic measures such as medication or therapy, unless it's a SERIOUS issue.

Gosh, I bet you don't hear about some little children have sleep problem then doctor give direction to get LIQUID SLEEP MEDICINE.

 

[suicidegirl]

Gosh, I bet you don't hear about some little children have sleep problem then doctor give direction to get LIQUID SLEEP MEDICINE.

honey, no need to get defensive.

i have NEVER heard of putting a THREE year old child medication just so he'll sleep. three is too young period. would you want to risk addiction? i think not.

edited to add- and studies have shown that certain medications such as bendaryl have an OPPOSITE effect on children. example? bendaryl can make children hyperactive instead of sleepy.

 

[Foxrac]

honey, no need to get defensive.

i have NEVER heard of putting a THREE year old child medication just so he'll sleep. three is too young period. would you want to risk addiction? i think not.

edited to add- and studies have shown that certain medications such as bendaryl have an OPPOSITE effect on children. example? bendaryl can make children hyperactive instead of sleepy.

Just don't take all type of medicine for children who are under 6 years old until get approve by doctor.

That all what I said because I just read warning and instruction.

 

[ThreeLittleBear]

Speaking of children sleeping in their parents bed and all.. When I first became a single parent my kids used to crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night. They weren't allowed to go to sleep there (for personal parenting reasons as well as I need to be able to go in and out of my room without fear of waking them) but they did end up there alot. Even now, 2 years later, it's rare for me to wake up alone. My youngest usually comes in around 5am, and sometimes one or both of the others do too. However! Last night both girls weren't sleeping well and ended up in my bed around midnight and I was just too tired to care. And now I remember why I stopped letting them spend all night with me. Those girls kick in their sleep!! My sides and legs are so bruised and sore! And I'm sooooo tired, I barely slept.

Iceriver - this post has been up for a couple days, how are things going?

 

[ThreeLittleBear]

and studies have shown that certain medications such as bendaryl have an OPPOSITE effect on children. example? bendaryl can make children hyperactive instead of sleepy.

My oldest two are great examples!! Couple years back both got bad colds, their doc recommeded an over-the-counter cold medicine that had an antihistamine in it. They literally bounced off walls!! Try keeping up with overly hyperactive 1 and 2 yr olds when you're 6mos pregnant. Oddly enough though it doesn't do that with my youngest. She's like me, even a slight bit of antihistamine makes her tired.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Speaking of children sleeping in their parents bed and all.. When I first became a single parent my kids used to crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night. They weren't allowed to go to sleep there (for personal parenting reasons as well as I need to be able to go in and out of my room without fear of waking them) but they did end up there alot. Even now, 2 years later, it's rare for me to wake up alone. My youngest usually comes in around 5am, and sometimes one or both of the others do too. However! Last night both girls weren't sleeping well and ended up in my bed around midnight and I was just too tired to care. And now I remember why I stopped letting them spend all night with me. Those girls kick in their sleep!! My sides and legs are so bruised and sore! And I'm sooooo tired, I barely slept.

Iceriver - this post has been up for a couple days, how are things going?

Yea.. I never forget that when my 3 toddlers when got nightmare and sneaking into my bed... I don't mind at all... give my child sleep w/me for 2 hours.. feel comfy and heavy sleepy.. I'm very happy lift my baby and put'em their bed.... *smoochies* forehead... I return my bed.. *ahhhhh felt so good and zonk it out* Next day I felt better....

Funny thing.. few months ago.. My daughter is 10 yrs old, woke up at 3am.. and wake me up mommy i having bad dreams.. I say ok.. come over sleep w/me.. few hours later... I check on her but she's gone... My eyes was wide OPEN..*stunned surprised* where's my daughter went.. In my mind glooming went crazy.. thinking what if she fell down the floor or sumth'n... I check another side of my bed.. but isn't there... I run and checking my daughter's bdrm.. oh whew she is return her bed... then morning.. I say good morning.. She said.. I hate you... I having hard time sleep w/you.. I asked why?
YOU FRIGG'N SNORING LOUD.. I turned into :Oops:

LOL

 

[Iceriver]

Iceriver - this post has been up for a couple days, how are things going?

Sorry for not keeping up with the update. I have set a different routine and it seems to be working, but don't know how long my son can keep up with it. Hopefully, he will get used to it because it's better for him. I emailed to my son's Father and his mother is involved as well. Ive gotten some parenting support from them, they had a chat with my son about his behavior. When he came home, he told me no tv, I should dress myself, I need brush my teeth, etc. I was surpised because he always demands tv, and refusing to brush his teeth, hates bath etc. It worked. I know it could improve big time IF my son and I move out in our own place. The other two people who are living here are bad influence on my son I can't afford first and last rent and furniture. It sucks.