Backburner

lmkmiec03

lmkmiec03

New Member
Joined
May 15, 2010
Messages
42
Reaction score
1
Do you think it's wrong to hold onto another person's contact information while dating someone, just in case things don't work out? I'm wondering if someone would do this because they're afraid of being alone or they felt flattered and liked the ego boost...

Keeping people on the backburner "just in case" seems wrong to me but a lot of people do it apparently.
 
i wud.. can not see the problem but think maybe at least have him in your circle of friends
 
I think it's creepy. Like the person holding onto the contact information for another is already anticipating failure.
 
lmkmiec03 said:
Do you think it's wrong to hold onto another person's contact information while dating someone, just in case things don't work out? I'm wondering if someone would do this because they're afraid of being alone or they felt flattered and liked the ego boost...

Keeping people on the backburner "just in case" seems wrong to me but a lot of people do it apparently.
Click to expand...

It is always wrong to hold onto another person's contact information while dating someone. This is perceived as having someone in your back pocket in the event if a relationship with the person in your front pocket doesn't work out. This also shows how one's not willing to commit to the relationship.

A lot of men like to have a lot of contacts from women so they can easily jump on another woman if the current relationship with a woman doesn't work out or even worse go behind her back to be with another woman. It is also not right to do such a thing because we shouldn't really be experimenting when we should just date one at a time and give all of your focus to that relationship.

Insecurity is one cause and another could definitely be an ego boost.
 
Bottesini said:
I think it's creepy. Like the person holding onto the contact information for another is already anticipating failure.
Click to expand...

Couldn't agree more. A guy I dated (and he subsequently stalked me for a year after the breakup) more than 5 years ago STILL emails me a few times a year. He always starts his emails with "I know you don't wanna hear from me, but ... blah blah blah ... I'm seeing someone and I just wanted to say hi."

Seriously? It's just obsessive and creepy to keep hanging onto old flames like that.
 
AlleyCat said:
Couldn't agree more. A guy I dated (and he subsequently stalked me for a year after the breakup) more than 5 years ago STILL emails me a few times a year. He always starts his emails with "I know you don't wanna hear from me, but ... blah blah blah ... I'm seeing someone and I just wanted to say hi."

Seriously? It's just obsessive and creepy to keep hanging onto old flames like that.
Click to expand...

I concur. People who say, "I am seeing someone and I just wanted to say hi" should raise a red flag. One could decipher this message as "I am with someone and its not working, but I thought of you."

No one wants to date someone who constantly thinks or converses with old flames as this shows that person doesn't really want to commit to the relationship. This also unnecessarily creates baggage that shouldn't even be there!
 
I totally agree with you guys. Personally, I don't see the point in keeping contact with exes. I'm not that hard up for friends. I also think people should be honest if someone asks them out and they're already in a relationship. Why would it be so difficult to say, "sorry, I'm with someone..." unless they are insecure, like the attention or want to keep their options open...
 
Back
Top