Dammit, you’re right! I didn’t even think about that fat orange-haired mop-topped screamer! How could we have been so blind as to let our children watch a grown man in a sailor suit play with hand puppets for 50 years? I’ll bet he was the inspiration for the Village People guy! It’s a homo conspiracy, folks! We need to do something about this! If we don’t do something soon, we’ll have a nation of swishy, effeminate men who like to ogle over the Pottery Barn catalog and their wives will know how to fix the lawn mower! But what are we going to do? March on Washington? Send them all to the Moon? Armed insurrection? Ideas, people—we need ideas!
