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Danielle85

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i hate the fact that im the only hoh family member. my parents and sisters talk to me in different rooms all the time like today i was puttin on my wash and i couldnt hear anything in the kitchen i asked my mom to repeat and she just saids " its not important" ovous it was if u friggin said sumthing. It annoys me so damn much. do u think they just forget there child is Hard of hearing like what the heck! :cold:
 
You arent the only one. Alot of Deaf/hoh always had been ignored by the family members or never bother to have us in their conversation if they dont know ASL.
 
:( When family members talk, they at times, do forget that their is a family member in the household that is either deaf or hard of hearing. Give them a gentle reminder that they need to look at you when they are talking. When you didn't hear them the first time, and they give you that line "it's not important", then tell them "if it wasn't important, you wouldn't have brought it up in the first place", and that will give them food for thought. You need to tell them that you want to be included in all family conversations. Because you are deaf or hard of hearing, it doesn't make you any less of a person and should be treated as fairly as a hearing person gets treated. They will take this into consideration next time, because letting your family know how you feel, will make them more aware that you're right!!!! I hope things will become better for you Danielle. :) :hug:
 
I was one of them too not only me but my other deaf cousins. My family expected us to talk so they can hear our conversation but I didnt think it was fair. Cuz we cant hear their conversation not fair.

One day, my deaf friend, deaf cousin and I were at my cousin's house. The conversation was about the dealing of converstation. I explain to them that we cant hear but they expect to hear our conversation. Once I told them that we the deaf ppl use sign language and knowing that they cant understand us like deaf ppl dont uderstand their. So they was an eye opener and finally my family let us use sign language.

I know that feeling of being left out. Been there and done that.
 
Aw hon, you're not ALONE in this, I'm pretty sure that some of us have been left out from an on going conversation between family members, even my twin sister and I are the only deaf in the entire family, my other sisters do know sign language and sometimes they do tell us what's being said by another family member but most of the time we don't know what they are saying or what they were laughing about, I must admit it does hurt quite a bit knowing that everyone in the entire family knows what each of them are talking about only to leave those who are unable to hear competely out of it ..I don't think they are doing this on purpose, but it would be nice to feel involved into the conversation even if not so hard to sign while speaking....I hate it when I see someone being left out, even I have no intend to do that, so I believe my family has no intend to leave my sister and I out of it, it's more of a habit of them I suppose, and sometimes they would say " oh it's not important ", I guess they don't know what it's like to walk a miles in our shoes yet, but at the same time, my sister and I do sign to each others without others not knowing what we are talking about either LOL...
 
been down that road -- i dont believe they "forgot" that a family member is deaf/hoh especially if the family member has been deaf ALL their lives -- impossible to "forget" i find that to be a load of BS
 
You are not alone either! I am only deaf in the family and TEND to be left out during dinner converation or event or whatever. ALL MY LIFE till I moved on my own, I make my own decsion if I wanna go with family or not. So now I don't go home to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving to spend the holidays! I don't mind see my aunt in Reno, Nevada since she always keep me updated! She is ONLY one that know I am being left out! So she was making sure I know what's happening during the converation. I prefer family member/or friends (depend where you are at :) ) get invovled in the converation instead of left out. My BF's family usually don't left us out...they make sure tell us what's going on. I don't like being left out and not enjoy dinner with family or friends. I rather to enjoy and have some fun and enjoy the laugh or cry, etc. I've always HATED Thanksgiving!!! Now I begin like it since I am on my own, have a son and BF. We either have dinner at my house or at our friends' house every year and have a fresh yummiest turkey from the farm! :thumb:

If my son bring his friends over, I'll be sure his friend get invovled into the converation and enjoy his/her visit instead of boring visit. So that his friends can respect deaf people. Also can teach him/her signs.

I agreed with few other ADers that just replied to your post.

:hug:
 
First off I want to :welcome: you to AD.

And secondly, you are not alone. I am hofh, as well as our 2 girls. They are hofh as well.

I go through alot concerning my Hub's side of the family, with our girls. They don't understand that they cannot hear them if they are even YELLING at them. Directly or indirectly facing them. I have had to step up and step on toes concerning this. Just because THEY believe their own "false facts" doesn't make it right. And my Hub and I had a VERY serious disagreement over this.

He remarked, well how can I disagree when I think the same way. That she is just ignoring us. I said she isn't, she can't hear and hearing aids just make all the muffling sounds even louder. It doesn't make it any clearer than before. I got ahold of a CD, its called," Getting through, let me see if I can burn it and send it to you through EMAIL. When you get it, you can copy it onto a disk. How does that sound?

It has different levels of lost. Mild, Moderate, Severe. What it means to be hofh. They do a hearing test as well, for them to see how difficult it is to actually hear with your time of hearing loss.

After Hub experienced this, and was able to take a look at the audiogram. He was more understanding. Now he actually stops them from getting upset with our girls, and tells them she can't hear you. Today, they were kinda of making fun of her signs. My Hub gave a nasty look. Everything was quiet, but before he was just one of those that just didn't think that ASL made an impact as it does. He also didn't think there was a good reason for it.

Me, I have had ASL all my life. They are apart of the Deaf Culture.
For them, it's a place of support, love and equality that they will experience.
From me as well as my hofh/deaf friends. They are embraced, and completely understood as to what their needs are. Where as hearing people take a long time to educate themselves, and understand the world that we live in IS NOT the same world they live concerning hearing and communication.

Let me know, about the CD.
 
I know what you mean. Sometimes, people forget that you're there. They should be patient enough and repeat when asked. I'm the only deaf person in my family and everyone's always talking all the time. It's gotten to the point where I don't care much any more since most of the things they ever talk about is religion. When I was younger, I talked with them a lot because they were always talking about current events, friends, movies, etc. Now, it's just religion and more religion. If I think I missed something, I'll ask them what they were talking about... not to repeat what was being said. If they say that they're talking about church, I say OK and walk away. If it's something else that I am interested in, I'll stay and join in on the conversation.
 
It had come to the point that I have had to bring books or play computer games while I was growing up in my family. I became too preoccupied in what I was doing that I didn't pay attention to what my family is saying. If they had a question to ask me, they just write it down to me.

I have a higher standard today - if I am going to a gathering, I bring a pen and paper. The gathering I go to is of my own choice, and I will initate any conversation if I want to talk. People don't mind at all. I do have my manners. Sometimes it's harder when I'm too tired and my husband is too tired to interpret for me.. it's hard to keep track of the ever changing topics, then we know it's time to go home!
 
r u not alone..

So am I ...

I used be left out... and decide to take my meal and goes to my room, watch t.v. *munching*~
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sometimes I hang around w/my friends.. My parent tends ask me, what r u saying.. I kept say nothing... My mom furouis.. I told her.. back off.. as same you're too always kept saying nothing to me.. How r u feel that way communcation shut it down quicker..
They leave me alone.. I felt much better..

I'm very happy have my own family here 3 children aren't left us out and kept open communcation each together peep-talk about school, our work stuff and general talks.. (espically deep personal, we are not allow let our children know) seprate personal issues.
 
Hi there,
I know what that's like somewhat. I have a mother and three sisters who can sign, but not so fluently. Despite that, I still get left out at family gatherings so I just bring a book and ignore everyone present.


Heart2Sign, good on you for getting your hubby to understand how difficult it is for your girls to hear as well, you, and for telling his family members off.
 
I've got to think about this everytime I get discouraged learning sign. It's not coming nearly as easy for me as for my husband and little girl. I could never leave little G out of anything. He's so precious. (Except when he throws toys in the fish tank.)
 
Yeah, you are not alone...

I was leave out alot when I grew up. My one year younger sister is the one who interpreted for me during family conversation... My parents are too lazy to communicate with me but get her to interprete for me... My sister feel tired to do for me alot.

It's the same with my hubby's family as well but we are not left out during family converstion. MIL interpreted us what they talked about but their friends invited to celebate MIL or FILs' birthday... They forget us... chat with them... until one day, at Danny's christening - We invited priest for the deaf after christening over to have afternoon coffee with us. My hubby's family communicated each other in my house to forget we are here... It's priest who interpreted us what they talked about... Family feel :o :Oops: when they saw priest interpreted us all the time what they talked about. I never forget how good patience priest is.
 
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