Advice?!

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LuCkiiMaMii3

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i been witin with my heairn man for a year..

im pretty hang out with hearing people in whole of my life..

Jason is great man to me...

my problem is i didnt eager teach him ASL till after like 4 months dating I bring my closer deaf friend n i hang out Jason notice us sign a lot more than i talk him.. but one point Jason talk hearing people more than ME.. feel like im leave out... Jason asked me why i didnt teach him n etc i was like well You kinda ignore me and talk stupid friends more than me....not eager sit down n talkin to me at all...it got me pissed off....not want teach him sign lang or something like that cuz i was feelin hurt to leave me out and think his friends more impornant more than me.........so later... Jason learn some sign prettu good not fully ya know like basic...We arguge over tell me i need use CI n etc stupid my family actually i miss being wear ci cuz i was sooo good listen and talk pretty very well till i join deaf school they messed my mind up!!.... sooo dont knwo what to do and say.... Jason and I have hard to understand each other because commucation.....i get pissed off if he didnt use sign language a lot when he talkin friends....thenhe tell me i need use CI.... make me more pissed off.. thank lot to my family cuz my family told him i was very good at all when i wear CI..... how can save our relationship stay healthly wihtout commucation drama.. sight

Hes great man to me n do anything for me.. but i screw it up mostly of time

any advice?

ill be apperication.. thanx
 
I don't understand why your family is not trying to support Jason to learn ASL for you, instead of going up against you (at least that is the impression I got while reading your post). Is your family accepting your deafness? Or choice not to wear CI's at all?

In that case, they should take some time (since conversation isn't easy between you and Jason) to expain him better about the Deaf Culture.

Do you want to wear your CI or not? If the answer is no, then Jason will have to accept your decision... But of course I would first try to talk about it, no matter how hard communication is between both of you. Though I still think that he should learn more ASL!

I'm hearing and if my bf were to be deaf (for whatever reason...) I would make sure to do anything I can to learn sign for him!

Jamie
 
I choice CI when i was 4.. i was copy cat to my best friend Amy she got her CI... i told grandma i want one same as her... at time i didnt know what is CI for.... i had CI since 4

i stop wear CI at 12 bec attend deaf school it made me werid and want stop use it.. wnt make me feel stupid...

My family is so aggrative me tell me need back on CI n more talk n blah thats BULLSHIT they try me like INDUCE ME become HEARING PERSON.....it will never happen and wont work....i deny their judge... They dont know as nothing about deaf culture... I dont understand my family;s sign language at all.. just finger spelling.. but hey Jason is better commucaiton with me than my family is...

All i need make Jason really need understand about deaf culture & CI and my family... I just dont know how can i explaine him as clear make him undestand about statution....
 
I might not be the best person to help you out since I am fully hearing... Hopefully somebody else can throw in a line...

Several people on here have family members (especially teenager whose parents) deny/ignore their childs deafness, which makes me feel sad! :(

Do you and Jason know somebody who knows both the hearing and deaf world? I think it is important for Jason to understand your pov when it comes to not wearing CI's, if that is your choice. You both eventually will have to figure out away...

So you are closer to Jason than your own family? How does he perceive the fact that you are deaf? I mean... he doesn't like to sign, or he doesn't want to learn ASL?

Why not write him a letter about how you are feeling? Not just a simple typed up letter but something very beautiful where you can express how you feel in written words! Tell him how much it hurts you, etc...

Just a suggestion I would probably go with... sometimes written words say more...

Jamie
 
oh yeah im more closer to Jason more than my family cuz HEs more understand and willing do anyhing for me what i need...My family really like Jason a lot cuz i dont listen my family stuff like that...Hes willin learn sign ...I need more responabile to teach him more i was kinda lazy to teach him..because what he dont understand about deaf culture and my feeling.. Want be EVEN instead leave me out all of time...I tell him many time use SIGN same time you talk to his damn friends/family.... i ws bored i watch tv play laptop or my phone he got mad at me why i dont talk him i was like exuse me you didnt ever use SIGN same time you talk to friends and HELLO! I CANT HEAR he was like well USE CI.. got me pissed off as hell.. CI aint help its just NOISE not WORDS>... GOD!!! I FEEL LIKE WANT HURT MY FAMILY FOR TELLIN JASON ABOUT CI... aint he support my family for put me back on CI or what?! i dont know what to say i almost upset all of time everyday cuz i really want him to UNDERSTAND point how my feeling between deaf culture.... I dont know how to write good to him make him to understand as clear.... i did try he mistuderstood and argue over stupid for no reason.... sight
 
Are you real? Seems Jason prefer you to be hearing. It won't work out if he wants you use CI and you only want sign.

Forget it and find someone who wants what you want.
 
Shadow said:
Are you real? Seems Jason prefer you to be hearing. It won't work out if he wants you use CI and you only want sign.

Forget it and find someone who wants what you want.
Click to expand...

I am pretty much afraid that what Shadow posted is about right... I mean... you'll be turning around in circles if he doesn't want to try to understand...

I'm sorry... :hug: Jamie
 
im dating James Windsor for 2 years but he good man he told me on e-mail messages he says he learn to sign languages because he had deaf friends teach my boyfriend.

IF i teach my boyfriend sign languages translate American to English whatsoevers!

its doesnt matters deaf nor hearing people can signs but im raise deaf since i was baby at 10 month old but my boyfriend is hearing and my family also hearing but my family can spelling i would understand what saying.
 
i dont think so... but my family try brainwash Jason...Jason had friends who r deaf which i know them in whole my life.. not hang out with them at all.. two guy da he really pretty know them they wear hearing aide n talk pretty good thats might problem make Jason think i need that one too or what.....Jason never sign before till met me he learn sign....Jason want me wear ci cuz i always make noise too loud and scream loudest make hearing people headache or can hear from few house from here.. jason keep tell me shh quite and need use CI so i can heard my voice and learn how to be QUITE and low voice...
 
I just wanted to state that wearing a ci doesn't change your status as a deaf individual. If you identify as Deaf, that's what you are, simply put. IMO, the ci is simply a communication tool. If you choose not to use it, that's your right and yours entirely, but there isn't as much of a stigma these days. Unfortunately it does sound like your boyfriend is has his mind made up on his feelings related to the ci. It to me sounds like you're the one with the decision to make. Just my 2 cents.
 
I agree with Saline Eyes. However, I can understand Jason's frustration at not being able to efficiently communicate with you, his beloved. Unfortunately, you using the CI is the quickest and fastest way for the both of you to communicate simply because he doesn't know ASL or just not enough and that's why he would sooner have you wear it. I'd say it's time to get those ASL lessons going.
 
I am sorry what you are going through, If CI didn't work once it won't work again.

Please don't wear your CI just to please Jason. I stop wearing my hearing aids, then start again to please a certain person, but it didn't work. They just move on to something else that they feels needs to be changed. In the end you will turn into a differant person and feel very unhappy. It just isn't worth it.
 
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