It came as quite the shock just how differently people treat someone who has some sort of "disability" or "impairment". The worst is how people just sort of ignore you and leave you out of a conversation, or how some people will look at you like you're something pitiful. Also, being treated like I'm also hard-of-thinking or even mentally retarded is really annoying.
Yep, that pretty much sums up what we all go through. I lost 80-90% of my hearing when I was 4, and have had to put up with the bullshit for the next 40 years.
I have found getting employment harder now too. I spent most of my adult life as a house wife and raising kids and put higher education on hold. I am now 42, 97% deaf, and any sort of job I am qualified for has been an experience in humiliation when I have applied. It's pretty much, "Oh, wow...your deaf...well...we'll call you if we need you." Pisses me off to be honest.
Unfortunately, 95% of the workforce out there considers deafness equal to being retarded. Sadly, the only ways a deaf person can get a job are either by having a friend/relative in the workplace to convince employers that you are the right person for the job, when the government forces employers to hire disabled persons, or when a company is desperate for workers and you are the only one to closely qualify.
The only reason I was able to get both of my jobs is because someone in the office knew me and convinced the owner that I can do it, and I can communicate verbally. Even though I could hear some with my hearing aid, I felt pressure to hear more and eventually got a CI about 7 years ago. It made a big difference, but it is not perfect. My employers are still not happy that I cannot understand all the staticky talk on the Nextels, even though I don't need to use them. Deaf people usually have to work 2-3 times harder than their counterparts to prove that they can do it. It also takes many years to gain your co-workers' respect.
After being told numerous times I needed to apply for disability benefits...I finally did...twice...and got turned down both times. I was told I wasn't blind or crippled so I didn't qualify. (WTF?) I wanna go back to school, and have even found a school that offers the course of study I want, but I have been told I don't qualify for financial aid.
Not sure what method of disability application process you are going through, but: You need to go into your local Social Security office and get an application for disability benefits. They will need proof that you are disabled. In the Fed Gov't's eyes, you are disabled if your hearing test shows that you have less than 50% speech discrimination and if your dB loss is higher than a certain number. Social Security will set up an appointment at an audiologist of THEIR choice for you to be tested. They will pay for the appointment, not you.
If you already did this, they might have concluded that you are not 'deaf enough'. If you say that you are 97% deaf, that is more than enough.
Don't wear your hearing aid(s) when you go in for an application. You need to frustrate them when they can't communicate with you. Don't wear your aids when you go in for the hearing test, and don't reply to the smallest sound you can hear. Wait for it to get somewhat loud.
If you want to go back to school, and you already qualify for disability, your local VR office can help.
Unfortunately, when SS declares you 'disabled', you have to wait 6 months before collecting benefits, unless you have proof that your hearing went bad at a certain time awhile back.
Sorry to hear about your hubby's issues. This economy doesn't help much either.
hubby is very blunt and I had some interaction with the Deaf community before I started losing my hearing, so I don't remember being surprised by bluntness but I still know how important it was and is for me to be open here, to try not to take things personally, to think about what I can learn and to keep trying. My nature is to be shy and sensitive but I'm also persistent and flexible.
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Many of the symptoms you, Rubiegem and others have described sound an awful lot like what I have dealt with for a long time. 
