2 hearing families or 1

dereksbicycles

dereksbicycles

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I'm the only deaf one in my family. My girlfriend and her whole family are hearing. We're both very family oriented people. Therefore, I often go out with both families to different family events with or without my girlfriend.

They're often not fun. Now, see, my girlfriend has completed ASL 1 and is now in ASL 2. Her whole family has taken effort to learn some ASL for which I'm grateful for.

I hate family events. If I was single and it was just my family, that is one thing, but with 2 families that is extra family events that I've to attend.

It's not my girlfriend's fault. She tries hard to include me in family events. However, in general term, family events are often not fun for me. Maybe it's just that I don't enjoy family event too much in general.

Maybe it's that I would prefer to go to Deaf Events over family events.

I'm sure a lot of you're in the same boat as me.
 
I think I may not be in the same boat as you. My family do sign, not the pure ASL, but they can communicate with me.

What i have reading from your posts in the past. Maybe it has something to do with your attitude that need to stay positive. First of all, how did you end up falling in love with your hearing girlfriend in the first place? so it tells me that you could have better chance when you try to talk to her family and get to know family better. Know what i am saying? my hub's family support the oralism method until they met me and got to know me better. I taught them some signs and they decided to go to ASL class. It has something to do with the attitude issue. Like i did not ask them to take ASL class, never said that. But i think my approaching talks that make them to feel comfortable and be willing to talk to me more. Yes they still support the oralism method. hahah

stay positive, and sending lot of positive vibes your way.
 
Frisky Feline said:
I think I may not be in the same boat as you. My family do sign, not the pure ASL, but they can communicate with me.

What i have reading from your posts in the past. Maybe it has something to do with your attitude that need to stay positive. First of all, how did you end up falling in love with your hearing girlfriend in the first place? so it tells me that you could have better chance when you try to talk to her family and get to know family better. Know what i am saying? my hub's family support the oralism method until they met me and got to know me better. I taught them some signs and they decided to go to ASL class. It has something to do with the attitude issue. Like i did not ask them to take ASL class, never said that. But i think my approaching talks that make them to feel comfortable and be willing to talk to me more. Yes they still support the oralism method. hahah

stay positive, and sending lot of positive vibes your way.
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Thank you very much. My girlfriend include me in a lot of activities and makes me feel part of the world. Not many people would take me to baseball game, but she is willing to. She includes me in a lot of things. Get to go places.

Also, she tries hard and stick by me when 9 out of 10 women would run away because of my negative attitude. I owe her that much!!

I really appreciate the ASL part. I didn't ask her to take class. I didn't offer to teach anyone ASL. They would ask me how to sign this or that word and I'll tell them.
 
may I ask how long are you with your gf? maybe the families just need more time to better learn ASL, and with time communication will get better?

Fuzzy
 
I am also with both sides being hearing and hubby's family says ASL is a waste of time and not important enough. My family is mostly of the same opinion. At home, the immediate family is trying, but not working hard to learn ASL.
 
That's really awesome that her family is willing to learn ASL to communicate with you. My mom tries to sign to my fiance when he's not wearing his implant...but she mostly improvises or uses really old signs she's learned at work. Luckily neither of us is very family-oriented (neither are my parents and I'm an only child). Actually, his parents aren't THAT family-oriented either. I'm not deaf but at family events I never have anything to talk about with my family anyway LOL so I can understand how you feel to an extent.

However...we moved away from most of my fiance's Deaf friends to his hometown after I graduated college, so most of our friends here are hearing. It can be tough in group situations, even with his implant. But our friends here are awesome and want to learn sign, and two of them actually already know a little sign :). And he's met some awesome people at work, a couple who know basic sign from high school/college classes or want to learn.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
may I ask how long are you with your gf? maybe the families just need more time to better learn ASL, and with time communication will get better?

Fuzzy
Click to expand...

Have been dating for almost 1.5 years. I don't think many people can get fluent in ASL after 1.5 years.
 
I'm the only one deaf in my family too. My mom knows sign pretty well but my dad and my sister knows little. My grandpa too. My cousins, they're okay at it but not as good as me. My dad's side of the family doesn't really bother to learn any sign. It seems like to me your family tries hard to keep you from being the third wheel. I'm sometimes a third wheel in my family but, all in all i know they don't mean to leave you out. It sucks sometimes.
 
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