I got to thinking about my first time I found out that I was different.I was about 5 or 6 years old and we lived in southwest Baltimore.There was a girl name brenda that lived across the street from us,so one day she came over to the yard,I guess she wanted to play,She kept giving me this weird look,so she ask my mother why I was talking funny and why I can't understand her? I can remember the look on my mother's face.It was then I found out that I was different.After that day she never came back.Do you remember your first time?
Do You Remember Your First Time?
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deafbajagal
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The very first day that they put me out of the deaf school and placed me into a public school. I was in first grade. I knew then that I would never be the same. My parents and older sisters said it was years before they heard me laugh again.
moonflower
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i don't remember be different when i was young i guess i was treated good and i did had good childhood.
I did not go to school till I was 7,I never went to a deaf school. I know how you feel.
I am happy for you moonflower that you had a good childhood.
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i dont remember much when i was a child. but i entered deaf school when i was 8th grade and yes i have changed some because I learned a lot of new things that i never saw before like ASL -- i was very english but now i'm more of PSE.... and few others. its a learning experience. 
I don't remember when I started to noticed that I can't hear or that I felt different. 
All that I remembered was during high school, I noticed I was losing more of my hearing, I used to listen to music all the time, and could hear the music.
All that I remembered was during high school, I noticed I was losing more of my hearing, I used to listen to music all the time, and could hear the music.
Miss-Delectable
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Wow, that's a big clue that you were in emotional turmoil.
Miss-Delectable
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Well, I can't pinpoint a moment when I knew I was different.
But I'll try....
I guess on a nonverbal level I knew I was different in kindergarten because I'd play by myself a lot as evidenced in photos and videos.
However, my family never made me feel different and there were communication, which helped lessen the feeling of isolation.
And I went to schools for the deaf which I never knew I was different because I was among with others in same boat. It would be only outside school when I realize how different we are.
But I'll try....
I guess on a nonverbal level I knew I was different in kindergarten because I'd play by myself a lot as evidenced in photos and videos.
However, my family never made me feel different and there were communication, which helped lessen the feeling of isolation.
And I went to schools for the deaf which I never knew I was different because I was among with others in same boat. It would be only outside school when I realize how different we are.
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The first time I realized I was different from the rest was in junior high. People were finding out I was deaf and I started losing friends and fast. By year 9 I was an outcast and prime target for bullies which happened, and got on a physical level. After that year I was like damn life is nothing but a bitch plain and simple. My grandmother said I said I had a very 'dead' appearence. I wasnt communicating, I went into my own little fantasy world where I would dissappear into nothing. I turned into a freak of sorts. Self-mutilation/destruction. Even developed anorexia. I couldnt figure out what was wrong. I wasnt thin enough, I wasnt beautiful enough, I wasnt good enough.
By year 10 I was begging to be transferred to another school, somewhere that I could start over fresh, someplace where I wasnt the deaf girl anymore.
But then someone had compassion for my pain reached out and helped me to realize I was thin enough I was beautiful enough, I learned that it wasn't me that was the problem - it was them.
Ive come full circle, now oddly enough my bullies are either jobless or in jail, and me, even though I never accomplished my dreams, Im well liked at work or so I believe.
Never let someone tell you, your not good enough. Rise up prove it to them that you can be good enough becuase sometimes being better than the best is simply being good enough.
By year 10 I was begging to be transferred to another school, somewhere that I could start over fresh, someplace where I wasnt the deaf girl anymore.
But then someone had compassion for my pain reached out and helped me to realize I was thin enough I was beautiful enough, I learned that it wasn't me that was the problem - it was them.
Ive come full circle, now oddly enough my bullies are either jobless or in jail, and me, even though I never accomplished my dreams, Im well liked at work or so I believe.
Never let someone tell you, your not good enough. Rise up prove it to them that you can be good enough becuase sometimes being better than the best is simply being good enough.
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I don't remember when I started to noticed that I can't hear or that I felt different.
All that I remembered was during high school, I noticed I was losing more of my hearing, I used to listen to music all the time, and could hear the music.
I know how you feel Cheri, I am losing more of my hearing.
The first time I realized I was different from the rest was in junior high. People were finding out I was deaf and I started losing friends and fast. By year 9 I was an outcast and prime target for bullies which happened, and got on a physical level. After that year I was like damn life is nothing but a bitch plain and simple. My grandmother said I said I had a very 'dead' appearence. I wasnt communicating, I went into my own little fantasy world where I would dissappear into nothing. I turned into a freak of sorts. Self-mutilation/destruction. Even developed anorexia. I couldnt figure out what was wrong. I wasnt thin enough, I wasnt beautiful enough, I wasnt good enough.
By year 10 I was begging to be transferred to another school, somewhere that I could start over fresh, someplace where I wasnt the deaf girl anymore.
But then someone had compassion for my pain reached out and helped me to realize I was thin enough I was beautiful enough, I learned that it wasn't me that was the problem - it was them.
Ive come full circle, now oddly enough my bullies are either jobless or in jail, and me, even though I never accomplished my dreams, Im well liked at work or so I believe.
Never let someone tell you, your not good enough. Rise up prove it to them that you can be good enough becuase sometimes being better than the best is simply being good enough.
Dixie, I agree it's them and not you.
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At the deaf school, I felt very different from the children - I believe this was due being a day student. I couldn't wait to leave school at 3:30PM daily to get home so I could play with the children in the neighbourhood.
I remember begging my parents to let me attend a regular school. My mother told me years later, that the reason they didn't put me in regular school was that the local school district lacked resources for the deaf/hard-of-hearing. I was supposed to start regular high school in another state, but my mother was reluctant to leave her family and job behind.
I remember begging my parents to let me attend a regular school. My mother told me years later, that the reason they didn't put me in regular school was that the local school district lacked resources for the deaf/hard-of-hearing. I was supposed to start regular high school in another state, but my mother was reluctant to leave her family and job behind.
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During my early years at school, I didnt notice that I was different and there was no "one time" that occurred to make me realize that I was different. It started subtle around 5th grade. I think that was when the kids I knew since kindergarten started rejecting me for no reason. At first, I didnt understand it and then the bullying came next. That was when I started realize that I wasnt like them. It really hurted a lot cuz those kids were my neighborhood and school friends since I was 5 years old and all of sudden, I am not good enough for them. Middle school was pure pure pure hell...trying to fit in but couldnt understand why I wasnt able to fully fit in with any groups. Yes, I had friends but even with them, I felt different. During high school, things got better for a few reasons...my best friend who is deaf finally was able to go to the same school as I did, the student population was triple the size of my elementary and middle school population so it was easy for me to blend in, and the maturity level. However, the void feeling still grew bigger and bigger because I started worrying about my future and what kinds of job I could get since I had never been exposed to any Deaf role models..just hearing only.
I hated feeling different...I was the kind of person who needed to fit in.
I hated feeling different...I was the kind of person who needed to fit in.
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I remember the first time I realized I was different. I was pretty young to notice it.
Coming from a hearing family, I was accustomed to speak/sign with family members and didn't really notice I was a deaf person as a whole until I was around 8 or 9 years old. I went to a summer-long camp that was only for deaf children. From there, I saw a big difference and saw other deaf children signing to each other and there were counselors who are deaf as well. I realized I was part of something and that moment, I knew I am a deaf person as a whole and knew I was different from the rest.
Coming from a hearing family, I was accustomed to speak/sign with family members and didn't really notice I was a deaf person as a whole until I was around 8 or 9 years old. I went to a summer-long camp that was only for deaf children. From there, I saw a big difference and saw other deaf children signing to each other and there were counselors who are deaf as well. I realized I was part of something and that moment, I knew I am a deaf person as a whole and knew I was different from the rest.