For Hearing to answer only: I am deaf and want to know why

clwdeaf

clwdeaf

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For Hearing to answer: I am deaf raised by deaf parents and deaf hubby. I would like to know why do hearing people make fun, mock, or are fearful of deaf people? Can you give me some insights, perhaps you could tell me your thoughts as a hearing person? I understand 100% about deaf's point of view and experiences but I want to see hearing's point of view. Thanks.
 
Main Entry: ignorance
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: unintelligence
Synonyms: benightedness, bewilderment, blindness, callowness, creeping meatballism, crudeness, denseness, disregard, dumbness, empty-headedness*, fog*, greenness, half-knowledge, illiteracy, incapacity, incomprehension, innocence, inscience, insensitivity, mental incapacity, naïveté, nescience, oblivion, obtuseness, philistinism, rawness, sciolism, shallowness, simplicity, unawareness, unconsciousness, uncouthness, unenlightenment, unfamiliarity, unscholarliness, vagueness
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ignorance - Synonyms from Thesaurus.com
 
I am hearing, hearing parents, all hearing relatives. I have no insight on why some people are so rude/ignorant.

I am not making excuses for hearing people but I think it is because people are afraid of people that are different.
 
I am hearing with profoundly deaf son. Most of it is simply ignorance. But it is unfortunate that there are some people out there who are so insecure that they must make fun of others to make themselves feel better than. Deaf people are an easy target, those type of weak hearing people think, because they think the deaf can't understand what is being said, or that they are being made fun of. If they knew that the deaf person could understnad them, they would not act that way because they are just chicken sh**. They won't attack people that they know can fight back.

This is the same type of person that beats up on little kids, or becomes a wife beater, or bullies the smallest child in the class. They always go for what they think is the weakest target.

On one hand, you have to feel sorry for them because they are so insecure and have such low self esteem. On the other hand, you just want to whip their ass and give them a taste of their own treatment.
 
And I just wanted to say, that I admire you for asking for the hearing perspective so that you could gain a better understanding instead of just writing all hearies off as ignorant assholes!
 
People often mock what they fear, or what they don't understand. For some, it also makes them feel superior, to make fun of someone (or something) that they view as a weakness. Usually, however, it really has more to do with their OWN insecurities, than the person or thing they're making fun of.

The more exposure people have to something that is unfamiliar to them, the more they understand, and the less they fear. That's been true about many cultures and sub-cultures in our nation's (and our world's) history. Which is why, in my opinion, "middle America" is sometimes predisposed to being xenophobic and intolerant, because they're so insular. In the major cities lining the east and west coasts, you typically find people to be more tolerant of people different from themselves, because they come into more contact with people that are different. This isn't ALWAYS the case, of course, but I'd say it's fairly typical.
 
I am hard of hearing, but I've grown up with
hearing people and I have never seen any of
them make fun of deaf people, or act in any
way different around them. That's too bad,
that some people actually act that way...
 
Basically, it's just that some people didn't have good Mommies!
 
Tousi said:
Basically, it's just that some people didn't have good Mommies!
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:lol:

Its basically ignorant and bully type of people who do that. Ive had a few of those experiences but not that often as an adult. I agree its those who are afraid of "different" people.
 
clwdeaf said:
For Hearing to answer: I am deaf raised by deaf parents and deaf hubby. I would like to know why do hearing people make fun, mock, or are fearful of deaf people? Can you give me some insights, perhaps you could tell me your thoughts as a hearing person? I understand 100% about deaf's point of view and experiences but I want to see hearing's point of view. Thanks.
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First of all I am sure that not ALL hearing people are like that. I am hearing and I don't make fun, mock or am fearful of deaf people. My answer to you for the ones that do are that they are just assholes. There are assholes in every walk of life and there is not much you can do about that other than to just ignore them and move on.
 
rockdrummer said:
First of all I am sure that not ALL hearing people are like that. I am hearing and I don't make fun, mock or am fearful of deaf people. My answer to you for the ones that do are that they are just assholes. There are assholes in every walk of life and there is not much you can do about that other than to just ignore them and move on.
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I agree about some people are just plain assholes and until they r ready, they won't change. Yep..best thing to do is to ignore them but what I hate is hearing kids picking on deaf kids. That can really hurt their self esteem cuz they have to see those bullies day in and day out.the contant harrassment over a long period of time can be very harmful while we adults probably won't see the assholes that mock us at the mall again. Know what I mean?
 
shel90 said:
I agree about some people are just plain assholes and until they r ready, they won't change. Yep..best thing to do is to ignore them but what I hate is hearing kids picking on deaf kids. That can really hurt their self esteem cuz they have to see those bullies day in and day out.the contant harrassment over a long period of time can be very harmful while we adults probably won't see the assholes that mock us at the mall again. Know what I mean?
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Agree, shel. That's one of the main reasons I wanted my son placed at a deaf school.
 
Okay the short answer, and you are not going to like this at all but I will be totally honest with you. The Deaf voice for one. Some Deaf people’s Deaf voice sounds like that of a person who is mentally challenged, some one with Downs syndrome, retarded. Deaf people cannot help this. You cannot hear what it sounds like. There are striking similarities between the two. Also the mispronunciation of words combined with the Deaf voice makes you sound ignorant. Hearing people that have a particular speech impediment, (saying things like “pway” instead of “play”), are considered ignorant because they pronounce words incorrectly. We hearing people put a lot into what we hear. A man with a high voice is considered weak, but a man with a deep voice is considered strong, powerful, and manly. Some people’s voice makes them sound crazy, and other people’s voice is annoying and you don’t want to hear them talk. If you haven’t heard these things you cannot understand what I mean. Another thing is ASL non-manual markers, and mouth morphemes. Honestly the first time I saw a tongue wag was an old woman doing it and I was offended. In the hearing world it means something sexual. Hearing people use the tone of their voice for different emotions or emphasis. Deafies cannot and therefore use their faces and bodies. This seems extremely strange to hearing people who have never seen it. Why would a person move their face like that? Look what she is doing with her tongue that is so nasty….. The hearing world’s perception of these things are very VERY different than the Deaf. For instance a NMM for yes is to twitch one of your nostrils. In the hearing world this means, no or gross, in the Deaf world it means yes. Very different. I am a very expressive animated hearie and my family is as well. When I saw most of these things for the first time I didn’t think anything of it, unlike some hearing people. Ignorance is part of it but that ignorance is more what to think with the information received, (Deaf voice, NMM etc…). Just to write it off as those people are ignorant I think is wrong. Ignorant of what? These are some of the things they are ignorant of. This is why they treat Deafies this way. But they are rude people who will laugh at some one whose leg is in a cast and has to walk on crutches, anything to make them feel better about themselves by putting other people down. I know some will be upset by what I have written but clwdeaf wanted an honest answer and this is the truth. Some people are afraid to say something like that because it makes them sound like they are part of the people who act this way. I think no one will ever learn anything if you don’t answer respectful sincere questions honestly with the proper respect. People ask me questions about being gay and I answer just as frankly. How will people ever learn anything if that doesn’t happen?
 
hearing ppl mock us cuz we cant hear..

they like to talk about us the deaf behind our back..

we wont hear what they said about us
 
when i was younger i did not under stand why deaf people could not hear. i thought deaf people where stange for making funny faces and making nocies. then i went to high school and had to take a foregin language so i took asl. i found that signing was one of the most beautiful things i had ever seen. iv come to love the culture even more then mine. deaf people are so stong they know what they belive. they help each other in ways the hearing people dont. Most people dont know what to think about deaf people, becasue they haven't been tought about it. When people dont know about something they eather want to know more or just make fun of it. im doing my second year of asl this year i love it and im planing on doing 4 in all.
 
Southern said:
Okay the short answer, and you are not going to like this at all but I will be totally honest with you. The Deaf voice for one. Some Deaf people’s Deaf voice sounds like that of a person who is mentally challenged, some one with Downs syndrome, retarded. Deaf people cannot help this. You cannot hear what it sounds like. There are striking similarities between the two. Also the mispronunciation of words combined with the Deaf voice makes you sound ignorant. Hearing people that have a particular speech impediment, (saying things like “pway” instead of “play”), are considered ignorant because they pronounce words incorrectly. We hearing people put a lot into what we hear. A man with a high voice is considered weak, but a man with a deep voice is considered strong, powerful, and manly. Some people’s voice makes them sound crazy, and other people’s voice is annoying and you don’t want to hear them talk. If you haven’t heard these things you cannot understand what I mean. Another thing is ASL non-manual markers, and mouth morphemes. Honestly the first time I saw a tongue wag was an old woman doing it and I was offended. In the hearing world it means something sexual. Hearing people use the tone of their voice for different emotions or emphasis. Deafies cannot and therefore use their faces and bodies. This seems extremely strange to hearing people who have never seen it. Why would a person move their face like that? Look what she is doing with her tongue that is so nasty….. The hearing world’s perception of these things are very VERY different than the Deaf. For instance a NMM for yes is to twitch one of your nostrils. In the hearing world this means, no or gross, in the Deaf world it means yes. Very different. I am a very expressive animated hearie and my family is as well. When I saw most of these things for the first time I didn’t think anything of it, unlike some hearing people. Ignorance is part of it but that ignorance is more what to think with the information received, (Deaf voice, NMM etc…). Just to write it off as those people are ignorant I think is wrong. Ignorant of what? These are some of the things they are ignorant of. This is why they treat Deafies this way. But they are rude people who will laugh at some one whose leg is in a cast and has to walk on crutches, anything to make them feel better about themselves by putting other people down. I know some will be upset by what I have written but clwdeaf wanted an honest answer and this is the truth. Some people are afraid to say something like that because it makes them sound like they are part of the people who act this way. I think no one will ever learn anything if you don’t answer respectful sincere questions honestly with the proper respect. People ask me questions about being gay and I answer just as frankly. How will people ever learn anything if that doesn’t happen?
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I agree with your explaination about how hearing people depend very much on tone of voice and what is heard. For example, on reason why I can't watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer is because the characters tone of voice is exagerated and so is their facial expression. It seems like sensory overload to me. On the other hand, if I watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer with closed captioning, it is great. Go figure.

I also think that people are trained to be reserved and conservative when they speak to new people. They rely on their voice to get their meaning across. They are taken aback by the expressiveness of sign language and they feel funny.

I don't feel funny. In fact, I wish I could find out how to use facial expression better. I know I rely on tone of voice too much, myself.

Anyone know how I can improve on this. I am currently in sign language classes.
 
Because hearing people either are truly ignorant (and need education about deafness), or because they are raised to make fun of that which they don't understand.

Most hearing people have had no contact whatsoever with anyone who's deaf, and they aren't taught much about the right thing to do with deaf people. Those of us who have deaf friends tend to understand, but those who don't rarely even know a culture exists around signing.

Those are just some things I've noticed.

By the way, I'm hearing, with some deaf friends.
 
Hey, I had my round of rejections as well!

Hey, you are not the only one got rejected or name calling or misjudged by hearing people. I went through the same boat as you went through. Well, actually, this would be a bit different. In my case, since birth I was Hard of Hearing until August of 2004. I lost more hearing due to Tinnitus and menigre's. Well, I am glad to see both side of the fence thanks to my mom putting me in a residental school for the Deaf--an hour away from home and oh, I was so "hearing" in that school and of course, the DEAF picked on me for my ability to talk beautifully. Good speech, fellowship with the houseparents and teachers tend to be more of a norm for me than with other students. The school put me in much older boys' groups as time went by. Then after my plea with my mother to put me in a public school--Jr. High. I discovered the same old joke. The table turned! It was the HEARING students picked on me, teased me, and I ate alone during lunch daily but also the DEAF there did the same thing!

Same in the real world out there after I graduated from high school, the same old joke people are not hiring, or whatsoever problem they have. Hey, I had one ex girlfriend who is hearing and she was nuts! She tried to stab me! Another stole my car 2 years later then 5 years later, another wanted to hurt me by having me arrested for harassment that I did NOT do at all. FYI, I am fine, no stab injuries thanks to the car seat metal frame blocked the stab. That was where she tried to stab me because I had to dump her for using me for my car.

The one who stole my car was arrested and was on probation with reinstitution to pay for the damages to my car. Yes, they went over something like a rail according to the police. It was found in middle of a residental street.

The one who had me arrested, good news! Case DISMISSED! Clean as a freebird! All those troublemakers are hearing.

Funny, my wife is hearing. The only difference is how you associate with. You will not be ignored or teased or get named calling by NOT hanging around with those sore losers. You will know the differences like I went through. It had to take a stabbing, car stolen, and my arrest to see how much I CAN control my life. Same goes with whom I am with. Like my wife who loves me very much and my family loves me, and I have a great deaf friend. A nice interpreter my wife and I are friends with. Both my wife's and my family. All those came to the wedding last year are the nice ones. Not the sore losers!
 
Southern said:
Okay the short answer, and you are not going to like this at all but I will be totally honest with you. The Deaf voice for one. Some Deaf people’s Deaf voice sounds like that of a person who is mentally challenged, some one with Downs syndrome, retarded. Deaf people cannot help this. You cannot hear what it sounds like. There are striking similarities between the two. Also the mispronunciation of words combined with the Deaf voice makes you sound ignorant. Hearing people that have a particular speech impediment, (saying things like “pway” instead of “play”), are considered ignorant because they pronounce words incorrectly. We hearing people put a lot into what we hear. A man with a high voice is considered weak, but a man with a deep voice is considered strong, powerful, and manly. Some people’s voice makes them sound crazy, and other people’s voice is annoying and you don’t want to hear them talk. If you haven’t heard these things you cannot understand what I mean. Another thing is ASL non-manual markers, and mouth morphemes. Honestly the first time I saw a tongue wag was an old woman doing it and I was offended. In the hearing world it means something sexual. Hearing people use the tone of their voice for different emotions or emphasis. Deafies cannot and therefore use their faces and bodies. This seems extremely strange to hearing people who have never seen it. Why would a person move their face like that? Look what she is doing with her tongue that is so nasty….. The hearing world’s perception of these things are very VERY different than the Deaf. For instance a NMM for yes is to twitch one of your nostrils. In the hearing world this means, no or gross, in the Deaf world it means yes. Very different. I am a very expressive animated hearie and my family is as well. When I saw most of these things for the first time I didn’t think anything of it, unlike some hearing people. Ignorance is part of it but that ignorance is more what to think with the information received, (Deaf voice, NMM etc…). Just to write it off as those people are ignorant I think is wrong. Ignorant of what? These are some of the things they are ignorant of. This is why they treat Deafies this way. But they are rude people who will laugh at some one whose leg is in a cast and has to walk on crutches, anything to make them feel better about themselves by putting other people down. I know some will be upset by what I have written but clwdeaf wanted an honest answer and this is the truth. Some people are afraid to say something like that because it makes them sound like they are part of the people who act this way. I think no one will ever learn anything if you don’t answer respectful sincere questions honestly with the proper respect. People ask me questions about being gay and I answer just as frankly. How will people ever learn anything if that doesn’t happen?
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Southern, that is something I was really looking for. A honest answer from a hearing person who is willing to tell the truth that most hearing people won't!!

What you wrote has helped me to see the hearing people's point of view better. My goal is to somehow break the barriers between hearing people's world and deaf people's world, so there may be more acceptance, understanding, kindness and compassion for both.

My deaf hubby (born hearing but became deaf age 10 months old by Spinal Mengitis) was raised in a hearing family. He studied the hearing people a lot and knew their traits. He commented to me that hearing people rely on sounds most. This was new to me! I learned something!

My deaf (adopted) mom was raised in a hearing family, she was born hearing but became deaf, due to Scarlet Fever, when she was six years old. I will try to re-write what she said, "I had a dream that a lion was clawing my hair, I woke up and saw my mother (hearing) combing my hair. She began to speak and moved her lips but no sound came out! I said, "Momma, what did you say, I cannot hear you!" Momma began to cry, got up, and ran out of my bedroom." My mother began to realize her world went totally upside down as she discovered her new deafness.

My deaf (adopted) dad born hearing but became deaf, due to Spinal Mengitis at age of 3 years old, was raised in a hearing family too. His hearing family was so occupied with radio, they did not pay attention to dad. My dad, as a young boy, became bored and he decided to distract his family for more attention by becoming the clown of the family! He realized he made his family laugh, he got what he wanted! Attention! So, that influenced my dad's character for the rest of his life. He knows how to make people laugh, including me!

So, Southern, my main goal is to somehow help the hearing people to realize and see that deaf people are human beings like them, no difference, except that we cannot hear. Thanks for sharing your honest opinion with me, even though some others may not agree with yours.

clwdeaf
 
I can understand if hearing people dont like our voices but to go out of their way to make fun of, harrass, and reject us is just wrong. They can keep their opinions about deaf people to themselves and just give us peace. That would be nice wouldnt it?

As an adult, I really havent had any problems with hearing people mocking me or whatever..I just get mostly stares which I have learned to ignore. :ugh3:
 
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