Annoying ignorant hearing people stories

sallylou said:
Maybe you're not all that like you think you are. Obviously she wasn't interested. Did it ever occur to you that it's rude to hit on a young woman in the library?
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Although she was cute, my intentions were genuine in helping her with her studies. And like I said, she could have simply denied the help and carried on but she brought her hearing situation into it, which I believe was uncalled for. I should also mention that this was the floor of the library where talk/socializing is allowed so it is not unheard of to be approached by random people a few times a day.
 
AlleyCat said:
about the hundreds of years that the deaf were oppressed, bullied, resented, mocked (and more, we can name it) even today
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And your restitution is belittling me? I can't believe the people I've encountered on this website, it makes me sick. For all of you who think I'm trolling on a Saturday afternoon are crazy... I decided to go the extra mile for my girlfriend and try to better our situation but instead, I'm stuck here reading ridiculous posts and having to defend myself.

It just goes to show that no good deed goes unpunished.
 
dj_destroyer said:
Although she was cute, my intentions were genuine in helping her with her studies. And like I said, she could have simply denied the help and carried on but she brought her hearing situation into it, which I believe was uncalled for. I should also mention that this was the floor of the library where talk/socializing is allowed so it is not unheard of to be approached by random people a few times a day.
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It's *not* a 'hearing situation.' :roll:

Clearly, she *read* you as being some kind of rude threat to her. With your obvious bias *I* wouldn't communicate with you either.
 
rebeccalj said:
It's *not* a 'hearing situation.' :roll:

Clearly, she *read* you as being some kind or rude threat to her. With your obvious bias *I* wouldn't communicate with you either.
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The fact that you think "Yes, but I don't need any help from your ears" is an appropriate response to a stranger trying to help you with your studies just shows what kind of person you are. Rebecca, I hope I never have to meet you or anyone like you because as of right now, I have no problem with deaf or HoH people but you would certainly call that into question. You are the rudest, most selfish person I have ever had contact with.
 
Hi I am a "hearie" as you refer to it as but wow the things you guys have experienced does make me angry. Even though I can hear i do have a chronic illiness and i've been treated the same way. People think i'm stupid or incapable of doing things just because i'm "sick" its not like i look abnormal or anything. I do have a cousin that's deaf and i've always wanted to learn sign language. I think being able to speak with your hands is beautiful and i'm always enticed when i'm around him, unfortunately i don't see him enough to have him teach me. His children can hear and the are very fluent which i feel is awesome. I also have several disabled people in my family including my sister. I honestly feel that most people are so rude because they are not use to being around someone who's different from them. They make fun of what they do not understand. All this is solely due to ignorance and everyone that is what they consider as "lacking" in any way is bad to them. We should all love and accept people just the way they are, and learn to educate ourselves when we don't understand instead of judging them or making fun. The only funny thing is how stupid you are for laughing.
 
dj_destroyer said:
Because there are far more hearing people than not, the deaf/HoH community will have more stories... but as a hearing person, I have one story of a girl who was quite rude when I tried to communicate with her.

She was in the library and I noticed she was reading a psych textbook that I had used in a previous semester. I approached her and asked if she was taking the same class and was going to offer her help as I had done pretty well in the course (and she was prettttty darn cute). She looked up at me with a strange look and so I repeated the question (still not knowing that she was deaf). She shook her head 'no' at which point I wondered if perhaps she was deaf/HoH so I politely asked. She wrote on a piece of paper "Yes, but I don't need any help from your ears."

I was shocked... I've been turned down by many girls before but never so rudely. It's like she thought I wanted to help her just because she was deaf. Of course, not all people are the same but I found it extremely disheartening that she was so sensitive/proud. Her hearing or lack thereof had no bearing on me or what I thought of her but I can't say the same for her towards me.
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Ok, let's put it this way - I did take Psych 101 in university by the way and excelled at it. I didn't even have any resources like FM systems or note takers. All I needed to learn was in that freaking huge textbook.

Now, I'm in the library and some stranger comes up to me and says 'oh, you're in my psych class, need help?"

My first reaction is going to be "who are you and what makes you think I need help? I'm doing great in class. Whatever gave you the idea I'm not?"

So, by offering help, you're implying she needs it. Why would she need it? Is it because you think she's stupid or because she's deaf?

If your goal was to hit on her, then don't offer help like you think she's stupid and can't do well on her own, it's not an effective approach.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Ok, let's put it this way - I did take Psych 101 in university by the way and excelled at it. I didn't even have any resources like FM systems or note takers. All I needed to learn was in that freaking huge textbook.

Now, I'm in the library and some stranger comes up to me and says 'oh, you're in my psych class, need help?"

My first reaction is going to be "who are you and what makes you think I need help? I'm doing great in class. Whatever gave you the idea I'm not?"

So, by offering help, you're implying she needs it. Why would she need it? Is it because you think she's stupid or because she's deaf?

If your goal was to hit on her, then don't offer help like you think she's stupid and can't do well on her own, it's not an effective approach.
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Thank you at least for an honest reply, but:

1. If the girl thinks that by me asking if she needs help, I'm implying that she's stupid then she has self-confidence/social issues. I don't think anyone ever means that when they offer help.

2. I had no idea she was deaf and if I did, that CERTAINLY wouldn't be the reason I offer help.

3. My intent was honest and genuine... I wanted to help her if she needed it. If we started chatting and hit it off then so be it, but that was secondary.
 
dj_destroyer said:
Thank you at least for an honest reply, but:

1. If the girl thinks that by me asking if she needs help, I'm implying that she's stupid then she has self-confidence/social issues. I don't think anyone ever means that when they offer help.

2. I had no idea she was deaf and if I did, that CERTAINLY wouldn't be the reason I offer help.

3. My intent was honest and genuine... I wanted to help her if she needed it. If we started chatting and hit it off then so be it, but that was secondary.
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Why did you want to help her? she was some random stranger in a library and you, out of the blue, thought "i want to help this girl."

why? and what made you think she needs your help?

Deaf people have been treated by many peers as stupid. It's a fact. When I was in elementary school, I was one of the top performing students. If I had the highest grade on a test, believe it or not, my peers would tell the teacher I must have cheated by peeking at their answers.

In high school, I was paired up with a honour student for a debate in Advanced Economics class - he made such a huge scene about being paired up with the deaf girl, especially because he thought I would bring his grade average down.

Guess what? I got a higher grade than he did for the debate. People came up to me and high-fived me. They didn't do that to him.

so, when deaf people grow up around people who think they can't do well in school and obviously need help, it gets really old and tiresome fast.

You just need to try stepping into her shoes and imagine what her school life must have been like growing up, dealing with hearing people thinking that because she's deaf, she obviously must need help with her studies like she's not smart enough to learn subjects as well as if not better than them.

You got upset because your ego took precedence over trying to understand it from her point of view.
 
DeafCaroline said:
Why did you want to help her? she was some random stranger in a library and you, out of the blue, thought "i want to help this girl."

why? and what made you think she needs your help?

Deaf people have been treated by many peers as stupid. It's a fact. When I was in elementary school, I was one of the top performing students. If I had the highest grade on a test, believe it or not, my peers would tell the teacher I must have cheated by peeking at their answers.

In high school, I was paired up with a honour student for a debate in Advanced Economics class - he made such a huge scene about being paired up with the deaf girl, especially because he thought I would bring his grade average down.

Guess what? I got a higher grade than he did for the debate. People came up to me and high-fived me. They didn't do that to him.

so, when deaf people grow up around people who think they can't do well in school and obviously need help, it gets really old and tiresome fast.

You just need to try stepping into her shoes and imagine what her school life must have been like growing up, dealing with hearing people thinking that because she's deaf, she obviously must need help with her studies like she's not smart enough to learn subjects as well as if not better than them.

You got upset because your ego took precedence over trying to understand it from her point of view.
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^^ This
 
dj_destroyer said:
The fact that you think "Yes, but I don't need any help from your ears" is an appropriate response to a stranger trying to help you with your studies just shows what kind of person you are. Rebecca, I hope I never have to meet you or anyone like you because as of right now, I have no problem with deaf or HoH people but you would certainly call that into question. You are the rudest, most selfish person I have ever had contact with.
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You are mistaken. *You* are projecting.

Many Deaf do not understand English and are ASL only. ASL is not English. Perhaps the young lady in question wrote, as best she could, in English and you chose to take offence to that because you assumed she was writing English to you.

See, this is where you come across as *SO* ignorant because you have no understanding, whatsoever, of the Deaf community, our culture *OR* our language.

And, don't worry, there is no risk of me ever meeting you for a first time. I've already met thousands of 'you' and don't need one more. ;)
 
DeafCaroline said:
Why did you want to help her? she was some random stranger in a library and you, out of the blue, thought "i want to help this girl."

why? and what made you think she needs your help?

Deaf people have been treated by many peers as stupid. It's a fact. When I was in elementary school, I was one of the top performing students. If I had the highest grade on a test, believe it or not, my peers would tell the teacher I must have cheated by peeking at their answers.

In high school, I was paired up with a honour student for a debate in Advanced Economics class - he made such a huge scene about being paired up with the deaf girl, especially because he thought I would bring his grade average down.

Guess what? I got a higher grade than he did for the debate. People came up to me and high-fived me. They didn't do that to him.

so, when deaf people grow up around people who think they can't do well in school and obviously need help, it gets really old and tiresome fast.

You just need to try stepping into her shoes and imagine what her school life must have been like growing up, dealing with hearing people thinking that because she's deaf, she obviously must need help with her studies like she's not smart enough to learn subjects as well as if not better than them.

You got upset because your ego took precedence over trying to understand it from her point of view.
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Like I said, I had NO idea she was deaf. I also mentioned that this was the "social" floor of the library where talking was permitted and lots of people interact. Furthermore, I stated that people coming up and asking/offering help was quite common and happens to me several times a day when I'm there.

Don't get me wrong, I understand where you are coming from but you can't judge people based on the past of other people. I was being genuine so all she had to say (or sign or communicate) was that she didn't need help and I would have smiled and been on my way.
 
dj_destroyer said:
Like I said, I had NO idea she was deaf. I also mentioned that this was the "social" floor of the library where talking was permitted and lots of people interact. Furthermore, I stated that people coming up and asking/offering help was quite common and happens to me several times a day when I'm there.

Don't get me wrong, I understand where you are coming from but you can't judge people based on the past of other people. I was being genuine so all she had to say (or sign or communicate) was that she didn't need help and I would have smiled and been on my way.
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and you say you excelled in Psych....I am attempting to help you understand from her point of view and you're still not getting it.

Oh well.
 
dj_destroyer said:
Like I said, I had NO idea she was deaf. I also mentioned that this was the "social" floor of the library where talking was permitted and lots of people interact. Furthermore, I stated that people coming up and asking/offering help was quite common and happens to me several times a day when I'm there.

Don't get me wrong, I understand where you are coming from but you can't judge people based on the past of other people. I was being genuine so all she had to say (or sign or communicate) was that she didn't need help and I would have smiled and been on my way.
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Maybe she didnt know that it was a common thing for people to go to others to help others in that area. Many of us miss out on what's happening in a non-signing environment so she probably didnt know. If so, then it would seem odd to her that a random stranger approached her asking if she needs help when she never asked in the first place.

Try to see it from her deaf point of view instead of yours rather than making assumptions. That way you wont end up feeling pissed off. Maybe she could do some self-analyzing herself as well but since you came in here and shared that experience, we are telling you what it has been like for many of us with being treated as if we are stupid, need help all the time, or inferior just because we are deaf.
 
Maybe it's just that this particular deaf person already was in a relationship and did not really need any help. Maybe she was wondering why does a guy have to hit on me? Hey, I'm in library!! I just want quiet time. I kind of doubt that it was a deaf/hearing issue. I think that she was simply not interested in getting any help.
 
Next time, don't offer help. Say "hey, aren't you in my ----class? Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me?" It's nonthreatening and shows that you respect her as a a person.

Why do guys think that women need their help? I used to tutor other students for academic credit. It's really insulting that you assumed this young woman needed help. I understand that it was, in part, a pretense. You'll have better luck if you just try to connect on a social level. Ask her for coffee and if you get shot down, at least you tried. You're ego can handle that.
 
If someone said they'd pray for me, I think I'd fine it kind of nice lol but then again if I got it constantly it might annoy me
 
^^^Yeah, pray for me. Pray I win the lottery! :giggle:
 
One of my deaf friends was handed a brialle version of the safety precautions on a flight today by the stewardess. Oh boy...
 
^^^Sheesh! I've heard that too many times on AD. And I've only been here a few months!
 
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