Adjustment to late onset deafness

***hugs*** for you... I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now.

Corrosive shame... yes, I understand this. The shame that comes from living my whole life feeling like a broken hearing person, feeling like I just needed to try harder, feeling embarrassed when I misunderstood things or wandered away because I didn't know people were talking to me. It's that feeling like there's something *wrong* with me, that i'm not as good as hearing people, that has kept me silent about my hearing loss for so long, that's kept me from accepting it--and myself, that's made me continue the guessing game instead of clueing people in that I don't understand what's being said.

The last year, and the last few months in particular, have been a process of really accepting myself. It's making a huge difference in me, in my confidence, in my self-esteem. I'm not a broken hearing person, and neither are you. Misunderstandings happen, even to people with perfect hearing. Try to be gentle with yourself, even though it can be hard.
 
Another quick update:

The internship is over in a week. I think I'll pull it through even though many times I thought of just quitting. Being deaf in a hearing school WITHOUT access to an interpreter sucks. The Department of Education here is really retarded when it comes to giving access to resources for Deaf people.

So basically I've been lip-reading for the past 2 months every day for 8 hours a day in a teaching environment. The lack of energy, feeling constantly like a broken person and lack of support made me think many times of just choosing another career path or applying for welfare and abandoning the fight.

Good thing I had friends around me and colleagues who tried to cheer me up through the weeks because it really felt impossible at times.

It made me think though... Maybe I should go into Deaf rights advocacy because there is certainly a lot of work to be done in this area. Audism has been constantly haunting me for the past weeks and I think it's time to change that.

Anecdote: Last week we had a fire drill. The alarms were only with sound and my students were doing an exam. All at the same time they rose up from their chairs and started moving towards the door. I was like what the hell is going on!!! A kid told me about the alarm and so we started moving but if I had happen to be alone in a room doing some other work while my students were let's say in phys ed... I'd be roasted chicken right now! Like seriously... we have an elevator for wheelchairs and the school calls itself "accessible to the disabled". UGH!
 
Ive been reading everyones posts and Im starting to not feel so alone. It's been a while since I've posted, because of college. I'm 24 and I have been losing my hearing for a year, it's hard to tell people I have known for years and have known me as hearing for years that I am losing my hearing. Some of my friends look at me like I can't be talked to or something, but all of my college friends have been really supportive. It's fortunate that I'm in the visual arts, that helps that I can draw a picture to help understand things. But I feel like I'm caught in between worlds, I can't sign very well and college impedes me from taking community classes, and it takes too much work to read lips most days. It may get better when I get an ear mold for me hearing aid (I could only afford one, but I need two), I got it as an open fit. I haven't come across anyone who is going through the same thing and willing to talk about it, I just feel like shit right now. And I have some solace with my horse who is losing her sight, but still I need peeps. But hearing everyones stories is really encouraging
 
lilybear said:
Another quick update:

The internship is over in a week. I think I'll pull it through even though many times I thought of just quitting. Being deaf in a hearing school WITHOUT access to an interpreter sucks. The Department of Education here is really retarded when it comes to giving access to resources for Deaf people.

So basically I've been lip-reading for the past 2 months every day for 8 hours a day in a teaching environment. The lack of energy, feeling constantly like a broken person and lack of support made me think many times of just choosing another career path or applying for welfare and abandoning the fight.

Good thing I had friends around me and colleagues who tried to cheer me up through the weeks because it really felt impossible at times.

It made me think though... Maybe I should go into Deaf rights advocacy because there is certainly a lot of work to be done in this area. Audism has been constantly haunting me for the past weeks and I think it's time to change that.

Anecdote: Last week we had a fire drill. The alarms were only with sound and my students were doing an exam. All at the same time they rose up from their chairs and started moving towards the door. I was like what the hell is going on!!! A kid told me about the alarm and so we started moving but if I had happen to be alone in a room doing some other work while my students were let's say in phys ed... I'd be roasted chicken right now! Like seriously... we have an elevator for wheelchairs and the school calls itself "accessible to the disabled". UGH!
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Did the wheelchair-bound use the elevator during the fire drill????
 
Daragild said:
Ive been reading everyones posts and Im starting to not feel so alone. It's been a while since I've posted, because of college. I'm 24 and I have been losing my hearing for a year, it's hard to tell people I have known for years and have known me as hearing for years that I am losing my hearing. Some of my friends look at me like I can't be talked to or something, but all of my college friends have been really supportive. It's fortunate that I'm in the visual arts, that helps that I can draw a picture to help understand things. But I feel like I'm caught in between worlds, I can't sign very well and college impedes me from taking community classes, and it takes too much work to read lips most days. It may get better when I get an ear mold for me hearing aid (I could only afford one, but I need two), I got it as an open fit. I haven't come across anyone who is going through the same thing and willing to talk about it, I just feel like shit right now. And I have some solace with my horse who is losing her sight, but still I need peeps. But hearing everyones stories is really encouraging
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I am glad you are here. Just post whatever you feel and you may be pleasantly surprised at how many of us truly understand you. :)
 
When i was in HS. I was unable to walk senior year, and only partially deaf at that point. We had a fire, i couldnt use the elevator, and the ****tards left me in the school. The fire marshall WAS NOT THRILLED....LOL
 
Beowulf said:
I am glad you are here. Just post whatever you feel and you may be pleasantly surprised at how many of us truly understand you. :)
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Feel free to vent here. We all have times when we need to vent/rant and hearies dont understand. And the majority of ppl iv encountered who are DFB think i complain about stupid BS but being late deafened really impedes your life, so much "normal" stuff requires hearing and thats what we are used to. If you need a venter(is that even a word.l..lol). Pm me, i could give you my fb or cell number...im aleays here to "listen"
 
Got to wear a hearing aid

:shock:

Hi
I am 46 years old and have had some hearing loss for many years, but I have struggled through. However, it has got so bad this past year that I cannot watch television because I cannot hear much what is said, I cannot hear people in groups and also struggle with one person, any background noise deafens me to speech, and I cannot even here the door or on the phone hardly.
I am also suffering with severe pain in my ears, sharp noises and dizziness and feeling faint.
I went for a free hearing test and they told me I had severe hearing loss and told me to go to the docs and make an appointment for a hearing test.
I went today and she said I had moderate hearing loss, but it was more severe in my left ear (which I already knew.) She made me a wax cast for an hearing aid and I have to wear the hearing aid behind my ear when I pick it up in a few weeks time.
I am an ill, disabled lady with many things afflicting me; I have a separated pelvis from giving birth, I have nerve damage, arthritis, asthma, endometriosis and diverticulosis. Yet, this deafness has upset me more than anything. I am worried how bad it will get. I suffer with pain in my neck, back and arms from my back and the audiologist said the pain in my ears my be coming from that, or it could be something else. I have to wait to see if the doctor refers me to the Ear, Nose and Throat at the hospital.
I have been crying, but I don't know why. I walk with a stick, but I have got through everything, but for some reason this partial deafness is upsetting me more than anything. :shock:
 
candy123 said:
:shock:

Hi
I am 46 years old and have had some hearing loss for many years, but I have struggled through. However, it has got so bad this past year that I cannot watch television because I cannot hear much what is said, I cannot hear people in groups and also struggle with one person, any background noise deafens me to speech, and I cannot even here the door or on the phone hardly.
I am also suffering with severe pain in my ears, sharp noises and dizziness and feeling faint.
I went for a free hearing test and they told me I had severe hearing loss and told me to go to the docs and make an appointment for a hearing test.
I went today and she said I had moderate hearing loss, but it was more severe in my left ear (which I already knew.) She made me a wax cast for an hearing aid and I have to wear the hearing aid behind my ear when I pick it up in a few weeks time.
I am an ill, disabled lady with many things afflicting me; I have a separated pelvis from giving birth, I have nerve damage, arthritis, asthma, endometriosis and diverticulosis. Yet, this deafness has upset me more than anything. I am worried how bad it will get. I suffer with pain in my neck, back and arms from my back and the audiologist said the pain in my ears my be coming from that, or it could be something else. I have to wait to see if the doctor refers me to the Ear, Nose and Throat at the hospital.
I have been crying, but I don't know why. I walk with a stick, but I have got through everything, but for some reason this partial deafness is upsetting me more than anything. :shock:
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I'm glad you are here Candy. Read the forums and see that life goes on. Being deaf is not the worst thing that can happen to you. It's just the hardest to learn to cope with. Good luck with your challenges. And keep reading here. You never know what nuggets you will find.
 
Yup, agree with Cheetah.
.
I'm another late-deafened adult (started to lose my hearing in my early 30's).

Without hearing aids, I would be almost completely deaf. I can hear my dogs bark, can hear drawers closing, can hear zippers, but can't hear speech at all, nor the TV, radio, or most sounds of normal life.

With hearing aids, I get along fine. Can hear my husband, my friends, etc. I need to remind people to face me, sometimes, and I need to make my environment as helpful as possible (like sitting in a booth in a corner in restaurants, for instance).

Hearing aids need maintenance, like changing the tubes frequently, the hear molds once a year, and so on. But for the most part, they don't cause me any more angst than putting my glasses on. Without glasses and HAs, I'd be stumbling around in a fuzzy, silent world. With them, I'm good.

I hope for you too that your hearing aids work well for you, and that you soon come to think of them as just a routine part of your day.
 
Just 6 Months deaf

I could hear perfect May 28th this year. May 29th I was 100% deaf. I was seriously ill and this apparently was a side affect though no doctor can say why. I want to know does anyone have loud noises like an air compressor in their head/ears. Trying to figure if it's from the brain or ears. Doc says ears but it dosent feel like it. Any help will be appreciated!! Thanks
 
:wave:
Hi Angle1989! Glad you found your way over here. Miss Botti and Jillio both started this area for us Late Deafies and it is a great place. I don't post here often but read a bunch.
Theres a lot of great folks here to help and share thoughts with.
Welcome to AD. Seems I missed your intro post, so sorry! Anyway, welcome to AD, hope you will learn to get used to us and will enjoy your time here.
 
Recap - I heard half my life for decades.This was from an injury in one ear when I was very young. Then I was diagnosed with a type of growth called a cholesteatoma. I woke up from surgery almost completely deaf. Age and heredity have fixed the rest.

I too was upset for a long time. My "friends" dissappeared, by boss does not like deafies, my family could not understand and kept calling me on the phone. My audiologist is audist I think and no one told me that there was a whole 'nuther life out there! It took years to find other deaf or hoh people in my tiny town. I did not understand the bluntness and matter-of-fact answers and reactions when I did meet others online or in person. It took a few very, very patient folks here to educate me. I had to learn that a direct and honest answer or question is not rude or mean but simply efficient communication. I had to learn that sometimes the comment or question has a smile behind it. Learning that no answer is just as rude as "never mind", that being ignored is worse than a blunt answer. A blunt answer is a good answer from some folks. Not everyone uses the long, wordy, "gentle" method.

Once I did learn this I was able to meet "live" deaf folks. lol

I now have really nice friends again. They would accept me whether I was hearing or deaf. I have a nice deaf church (even though we had to educate the pastor). I am still learning ASL and can now use a video phone with close friends. We go to deaf socials and deaf dinners and just enjoy our time.
I have even given up speaking except at work. I would rather throw my hearing aids in the trash than have to wear them. If I was not required to wear them at work, I would never do it nor would I speak.

Not everyone has felt like this. Other late deafies join groups like ALDA or other groups and learn other ways of coping. One of my late deaf friends just did go in for a CI. We support her because her family would NOT. She was deaf for 15 years, alone in silence, and they would not learn ASL. She had no one to turn to until she saw our old deaf coffee group advertised. She got the courage to drive (seriously) to one of our meetings and it was so cool to see how she lit up! She could not believe that there were other deaf folks, that we had normal lives, that we did normal things, and that we were happy to have her with us.

No one should have to go through that. I am sooo happy that you found us.
Seriously, after seeing some of your questions and comments on another area here, I feel that our doctors, audiologists, ENTs need a real kick-in-the-pants!! No one tells us anything and even if they did what are the chances that we would get it?

We need a late deaf outreach! Geez.
No one gives us even a pamphlet in most cases. How many of us were given any useful information?? Not me! It was hit and miss. I had to find out about VR by someone at school, then find them online, they told me about STAPP, relay and VRS, man - it was sooo much to learn. It would have been nice if I'd had a guide of some sort. It took years to discover this. Wow, just a printed page hand out of local deaf/hoh resources would have saved me so much grief and frustration.

How about you guys? Were you given any information or led to local resources - if any?
 
Angle1989 said:
I could hear perfect May 28th this year. May 29th I was 100% deaf. I was seriously ill and this apparently was a side affect though no doctor can say why. I want to know does anyone have loud noises like an air compressor in their head/ears. Trying to figure if it's from the brain or ears. Doc says ears but it dosent feel like it. Any help will be appreciated!! Thanks
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Its a form of tinnitus. It's your brain's coping mechanism for a lack of sound. There are some theories as to how this works, but it doesn't matter because there is not much you can do about it unless you want to get some major surgery. However if you are determined to have Menieres then there is a drug that *might* help.
 
Cheetah said:
Its a form of tinnitus. It's your brain's coping mechanism for a lack of sound. There are some theories as to how this works, but it doesn't matter because there is not much you can do about it unless you want to get some major surgery. However if you are determined to have Menieres then there is a drug that *might* help.
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:hmm: What if she can't manage to have Menieres, no matter how determined she is? :D
 
Bottesini said:
:hmm: What if she can't manage to have Menieres, no matter how determined she is? :D
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So funny you say this. Every time I went to the ENT... I tried to claim I have Menieres.... no dice... Finally got a diagnosis for my dizzy spells... Migraines. Still have the Tinnitus though.
 
Cheetah said:
So funny you say this. Every time I went to the ENT... I tried to claim I have Menieres.... no dice... Finally got a diagnosis for my dizzy spells... Migraines. Still have the Tinnitus though.
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I have bad tinnitus and have trouble staying upright due to dizziness, but it is just from damage to my cochlear/vestibular nerve attained when I had a bout with Ramsay Hunt.
 
After I got out of the hospital and trying to recover the noise was unbearable. Brain doc put me on a low dose of Serequel. It helped immediately. I was relieved but a little scared since my education is in pharmacology. The possivle side effects bother me. Even though I know I'm on a very low dose. Anyone else tried this med for noise. The problem I have now is the noise is getting worse even with the med. I tried not using it but no help. I like to hear what others have been through or receive any helpful info. Thanks
 
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