"Fixing" the child or not?

faire_jour said:
But you agree that it does not fix the primary problem, just like a CI does not fix deafness?
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Why would deafness need to be fixed if the problem wasn't that auditory stimuli can't be received? All surgery fixes the consequences of a malformation.
 
shel90 said:
Sad that many of us have degrees but they are worth shit.
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I think it's partly because society pressured everyone to attend a college or a university that there's just too many people walking around with degrees.

Not everyone is meant to work behind desks.
 
shel90 said:
yea, it was something to that reference. I wanted to make sure I wasnt misquoting her as it was so long ago. Time sure flies!
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Doesn't it though! Think how many changes we've both been through since then!:lol:
 
GrendelQ said:
I get that sense. And then those people who feel attacked by the sight or idea that my child has a CI feel justified in 'retaliating' or acting in what they see as self-defense.

But flip it: should I look at a deaf child without a CI and feel personally attacked? And then am I justified in striking out in self-defense? Should my daughter feel that one of her best friends, who is deaf without a CI, is a living, breathing reproof of all she believes in?
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Should you? I can't tell you what you should feel. Do you feel personally attacked when you see a Deaf person without CI? If you felt personally attacked by a Deaf person without CI, that Deaf person would probably feel judged. I'm not talking about what people should and shouldn't feel, just trying to offer a new perspective into why people do feel the way they do. Judgment arises from strong feelings, and it helps to see why others judge when you look at the strong feelings behind those judgments.

If I were to make ugly comments such as Shel has experienced (suggestions to "improve" herself with CIs), I'd see how you could take that as a personal offense. But I'm not suggesting that a CI is a wonderful thing for anybody but my daughter, it's not an easy decision to make at all.

So when you 'retaliate' upon encountering my offensive daughter or my offensive decision, it comes at me out of the blue.
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I can't speak towards justification. Who's to say what's justified and what's not? I can totally see how it comes to you out of the blue.

It's worth noting that people are offended by just the sight or sound of something all the time because of what it represents for them in their minds. That's why swear words get bleeped out in TV shows and certain ways of dressing get banned in certain countries, because even if the person saying the swear word or wearing the outfit isn't saying anything about what others should do, the fact they are saying or wearing it is enough to offend other people. They don't have to start talking about what others should do, the fact they live the way they do is enough to offend other people.
 
jillio said:
Why would deafness need to be fixed if the problem wasn't that auditory stimuli can't be received? All surgery fixes the consequences of a malformation.
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You are the only one saying deafness needs to be fixed....

I agree that a CI bypasses the part of the cochlea that isn't working, but it doesn't fix it. It deals with the consequence, I agree with that.
 
naisho said:
alldeafseriouscat.jpg

CJB: It is a cat saying that this thread is too serious.

TOO SRS.
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:giggle:

Thanks naisho.
 
souggy said:
I think it's partly because society pressured everyone to attend a college or a university that there's just too many people walking around with degrees.

Not everyone is meant to work behind desks.
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True, true.
 
CJB said:
Should you? I can't tell you what you should feel. Do you feel personally attacked when you see a Deaf person without CI? If you felt personally attacked by a Deaf person without CI, that Deaf person would probably feel judged. I'm not talking about what people should and shouldn't feel, just trying to offer a new perspective into why people do feel the way they do. Judgment arises from strong feelings, and it helps to see why others judge when you look at the strong feelings behind those judgments.



I can't speak towards justification. Who's to say what's justified and what's not? I can totally see how it comes to you out of the blue.

It's worth noting that people are offended by just the sight or sound of something all the time because of what it represents for them in their minds. That's why swear words get bleeped out in TV shows and certain ways of dressing get banned in certain countries, because even if the person saying the swear word or wearing the outfit isn't saying anything about what others should do, the fact they are saying or wearing it is enough to offend other people. They don't have to start talking about what others should do, the fact they live the way they do is enough to offend other people.
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That is it in a nutshell. Symbolic interaction.
 
shel90 said:
Sad that many of us have degrees but they are worth shit.
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Tell me about it. :roll:

They only start counting now when you get into the MA or Ph.D level because the "bar" has been raised so high.
 
CJB said:
Should you? I can't tell you what you should feel. Do you feel personally attacked when you see a Deaf person without CI? If you felt personally attacked by a Deaf person without CI, that Deaf person would probably feel judged. I'm not talking about what people should and shouldn't feel, just trying to offer a new perspective into why people do feel the way they do. Judgment arises from strong feelings, and it helps to see why others judge when you look at the strong feelings behind those judgments.



I can't speak towards justification. Who's to say what's justified and what's not? I can totally see how it comes to you out of the blue.

It's worth noting that people are offended by just the sight or sound of something all the time because of what it represents for them in their minds. That's why swear words get bleeped out in TV shows and certain ways of dressing get banned in certain countries, because even if the person saying the swear word or wearing the outfit isn't saying anything about what others should do, the fact they are saying or wearing it is enough to offend other people. They don't have to start talking about what others should do, the fact they live the way they do is enough to offend other people.
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I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.
 
faire_jour said:
You are the only one saying deafness needs to be fixed....

I agree that a CI bypasses the part of the cochlea that isn't working, but it doesn't fix it. It deals with the consequence, I agree with that.
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I've never said anything of the kind. Be very careful with that word "should". I have never used it in any of my posts, and the fact that you keep sticking it in there when you read is the reason that you don't understand half of what I am saying.
 
CJB said:
Tell me about it. :roll:

They only start counting now when you get into the MA or Ph.D level because the "bar" has been raised so high.
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I have a MA degree and I am still dont get paid like many hearing people with MAs do.
 
shel90 said:
It was during middle school, I think..was for a very short time thank goodness!
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Middle school is the worst of the years. Everyone trying to find their own identity and comparing themselves to each other.
 
faire_jour said:
I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.
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Did anyone here say that about you and your child here? Were u speaking of out of AD?
 
faire_jour said:
I have never ever ever felt attacked or threatened or offended by a Deaf person without a CI, or a parent who chooses not to implant their child, or a parent who chooses not to use ASL, or chooses not to use spoken language. Those are their choices, it has nothing to do with my child. What does bother me is when people start assigning motives to MY choices, or saying that we don't have the right to make the choices, or saying that our choices somehow negativly affect their life.
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So, you don't want people to take your actions personally, but you continue to take their actions personally.:roll:
 
jillio said:
I've never said anything of the kind. Be very careful with that word "should". I have never used it in any of my posts, and the fact that you keep sticking it in there when you read is the reason that you don't understand half of what I am saying.
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I don't use "should" in that post at all........
 
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