Not Deaf enough for Deaf people/way too deaf for hearing people

Moon-child said:
Good posting, and rung a bell with me. I too am in that middle area, not quite hearing, not quite deaf scenario....never really fit in with either world, never too concerned about it. Rock both worlds and just do the best you can. Big hugs!
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me too. and i find deaf people seem to be afraid, but more to the point, rude!, but i can see where it comes from (that rudeness) from Heaing people!, it rubs off and rub off rather quite deeply.
 
Wow, lots of love. Thanks!

"X" is actually a very nice person; I think the wine made her a bit coarse.

Maybe I'll finally make contact with the Deaf community here.

I guess I shouldn't care what people think of me.
Yeah I got a scholarship to a good private (hearing) high school. Yeah, I got a scholarship to an amazing liberal arts college. I worked damn hard to get where I am and I'm not referring to my hearing loss. I'm dyslexic. It was just as hard dealing with dyslexia as it was dealing with progressive hearing loss. But I went from barely being able to write a grammatically correct sentence to being given awards for writing and poetry. My teachers had a huge role in my transformation. I had teachers (at the fancy private school) who worked with me every afternoon until I got good at English. Then I conquered Latin and semi-conquered Ancient Greek.

Today at work one of the all time best rap songs came up on my random list (I really love music, I usually learn the lyrics from a website then listen to the song over and over until they click. BTW I listen to music with silhouette T-coil couplers through my BTEs. A geek friend of mine hacked my iPod to amplify everything in addition to the 95db amplification my hearing aids give me) The song is "The Puzzle" by Brother Ali (who is albino and legally blind). The song came at the perfect time. A not so nice co-worker was being not so nice to me again.

As Brother Ali says "Fuck that, every stone that's ever been cast or blow that ever landed
Helped to build that man that's standing before your bitch ass...Through the years I found peace in my struggle now
If we were put here to carry a great weight
The very things we hate are here to build those muscles".

So, let us all learn from the challenges we face. Let us go after our dreams and ignore the nay sayers and just plain mean people. Nothing and no one should keep us from doing what we are meant to do (I had a professor in college who flat out told me that nobody wants a deaf doctor. This prof even knew some ASL. I believed him for a while. Never again).

Go after what you want but be nice to the people who treat you like crap. It pisses them off and you still end up with a clean conscience.
 
Hi, ecp.

I can tell from your audiograms, that perhaps you and I might be not much different, and we are the group of the deaf world that associates between both worlds. Like the hearing world is on one end of the bridge, and the deaf world is on the other. By going either way we both have difficulties in getting accepted. We are a minority of both.

If you are skeptical of my own background, or curious to how I am, perhaps these may be of interest to you.

This was done when I was 10:
k1s4zm.jpg


This was done when I was 14:
2cncsoj.jpg


Before 10, I supposedly had better results. (I used to be unilateral) After 14, I've had worse and it's probably not the same since then, for sure. I know I start in the 50's now. I don't have any updated results, not just for the reason of that I don't follow up anymore.. but kind of for the fact that I've accepted myself for who I am already.


The hardest thing to do is find the other friends who can accept you for who you are, that's the feat you seem to be trying to overcome. I mean, feeling just as you I'm sure I've came across some of your experiences already, we're bound to have some overlapping somewhere. The way I've found my inner peace is through solitude and the right people. You don't want to be wasting your time around those that aren't worth it, as much as you might want to or try to convince them that you are one of them for either sides, but I'm sure you knew this to some form already.

I went through grade, junior and high school trying to fend off from the hearing groups to prove I wasn't mentally retarded.
I went to college and graduated from an University in CA originally doing two majors, but ended up focusing on one.
Now I'm going back to master in another degree I felt was worth of doing, while I still have the time.

It seems when we reach the stage in life where the adolescenthood wears off, then that's they payoff begins provided you've fought tooth and nail until then. If you've done well all your life to come to where you are now, then chances are you will be in decent shape in the real world. Pretty soon then when everyone hits the late 40's or 50's, deafness is a thing to be embraced by a majority of that age group.

I would consider yourself luckier than I am in a way. I am not very proficient in sign, in fact, probably a 3 year old raised by sign can do better than I could. And I want to sign, only the fact that I'm taking it way up later in my life than I should be.

There are always people who will be worse off than you, and people who will be better off. What matters is you focus on your goal and don't worry about those that want to 'crab theory' you down. ;)

Hope to see you posting around more. AD could sure use another poster or few, I tell ya.
 
I am in pretty much the SAME situation as Naisho too. I am doing a 2nd degree now too because I want to, and actually to piss them off that I done more that the hearies AND to have more peace with myself in understanding myself better. Its a 2 birds 1 stone thing. I too go into solitude but too much of that breaks my heart, I do need friends as much as I need peace and I refuse to let that 'false peace' to delude myself from the happening that I need to confront my shyness. Its a really difficult thing to do.
So, im no stranger to this deaf people dont approving of me, and hearing sheer at me equally as bad. its not a nice place to be, but at SAME time i do recognise i have understanding and certains strengths that from both sides they will not have nor will understand. I also happens to think we 'stuck in the middle' Needs more recognition, more support , ( I do mean support groups, or even blogs to link, websites even)
and frankly im SICK and tired of this big wig deafies (esp those from All-Deaf families) getting so much attention and sponsoring to get scholarships or be a 'representative' of their local community
they make me fucking SICK......what right they have?? they dont know "everything" about what all deaf people have to put up with as they claim. If you can read between lines, you'd find them to be overzealous, its just ridiculous, all this get trickled down, fuelling up all the 'tall poppy sydrome' shit.
Sorry if this seemed 'angry' i am, however i am NOT red-faced angry, im not gone 'emotional' or gone and lost the plot, I haven't this issue is real, its not 'personal' soley to me only, this thread has highlighted indeed it does happen. and Frankly i think we will benefit if more of this reality is faced and made into perspective in which it ought to help how we can develop strategy to overcome (or not overcome but to confront this needless plight of being shoved in the middle of the no-support land)

Its nothing more that the Hearing showing us HOW to be Hearing in a rigid way, when in the Deaf is doing jsut that for the Deaf way, its narrow minded and senseless. all this condone ignorances from BOTH sides. Its just Not on, its also feeding the business of this quaint culture blow-ass bullshit that divert away from real problems we're facing.

Maybe we should promote and sell T-shirts/sweathshirts with bold slogan after this thread's title, as thus;
Not Deaf enough for Deaf people/way too deaf for hearing people

WHY NOT?!
 
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ecp, I am dyslexicia and I have trouble with my grammar too!
I could type 60 words per minute in high school . All the words were
backward! My teacher thought I was really stupid!

I am really happy to read that people are finishing collage , I dropped out of collage . I had a 'B' average but I had a hard time believeing I really earned
my grades! One collage professer gave me a 'B" on her finial exam , it was a real hard course . I ask the professer if she gave me a 'B" because she like me! The professer was shocked! I just could not believe I was smart enough to get a 'B' in collage when I been called stupid for so many years!
Don't let people stop you from furfilling your dreams like I did! I really wish all you the best of luck .
 
Im not being mean, but as for dyslexicia, i wanted to share this crazy, funny picture.
but here's the pic...

demotivatorsite-com-863.jpg
 
well shit thats a hard one to explain to a non-sighted person, unless you were sighted earlier on in life.
But
I will go on and explain as best as I can.

its a 2 way internet converstion in a blog, much like this forum. between 2 persons.

the first line from a poster sent a line which is a visual art using typewriter fonts

visually the 'art' was to mimick a face with two eye shut tight as in grunting. kind of 'cute face' but its getting cheeky about it, so one might interpret it as 'smug' or imitating a wee fat boy listening on to a pair of headphones enjoying the music
.... it all depends on the context of that 'fonts-artwork is used

how id describe this is as follows;

which went like;
an ear with earrings on one side, then left bracket, 'mathematical greater than sign, then a underline (1 dash) then a mathematical 'less than sign' then a right bracket then another 'ear with earrings'

the second line from a person asking "how did you get that backwards b?"

a reply came back which said, " its called d".

thats all

so the 'ear with earrings' was a line with a small circle attached, hence small b and small d were used to represent these.
the punchline of the joke was when the reply said 'it called d', it really showed how stupid the inquirer was. its hilirious.

hope i explained
Cheers
 
oh, it wasnt really related to dylexisa, i just happened to remember things in a weird ways sometimes, it just reminds me of it because it is widely said dylexsic errors in spellings is to do with spelling things backwards, so the d is a reverse b but not really spelling, visually, the small d mirrors the small b.

This is more of a visual recognition of the letter, so the whole thing was to say this is STUPID , not to recognise a d !!!, RME big time LOL lmao ok OK ?
 
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Just a comment. I know what it's like in between worlds. I have almost no friends. I am totally deaf in my left ear and I get by with the aid in the right. Im too hearing for deaf people and not enough for hearing people. I tried to learn sign, I don't know anyone to use it with so...if you don't use it ...you lose it. (in my case). Columbus isn't exactly the most friendly place on earth. I've been here 13 years and still haven't found my niche. If I had my way, Id move back to Milwaukee. People there are super friendly.
 
chuck2975 said:
Just a comment. I know what it's like in between worlds. I have almost no friends. I am totally deaf in my left ear and I get by with the aid in the right. Im too hearing for deaf people and not enough for hearing people. I tried to learn sign, I don't know anyone to use it with so...if you don't use it ...you lose it. (in my case). Columbus isn't exactly the most friendly place on earth. I've been here 13 years and still haven't found my niche. If I had my way, Id move back to Milwaukee. People there are super friendly.
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You're originally from Milwaukee? Cool. I'm from Milwaukee myself. If you don't mind my asking, what part of the city did you grow up in? I was born and raised here (West Allis), but plan to move to Arizona in a few months.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
ecp, I am dyslexicia and I have trouble with my grammar too!
I could type 60 words per minute in high school . All the words were
backward! My teacher thought I was really stupid!

I am really happy to read that people are finishing collage , I dropped out of collage . I had a 'B' average but I had a hard time believeing I really earned
my grades! One collage professer gave me a 'B" on her finial exam , it was a real hard course . I ask the professer if she gave me a 'B" because she like me! The professer was shocked! I just could not believe I was smart enough to get a 'B' in collage when I been called stupid for so many years!
Don't let people stop you from furfilling your dreams like I did! I really wish all you the best of luck .
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funny, I made A's and B's in my community college myself. But in my high school, I made terrible grades. But they gave me more accommodations in college than they did in high school (another word, they treated me better). In fact, I learned more from college than from high school.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
funny, I made A's and B's in my community college myself. But in my high school, I made terrible grades. But they gave me more accommodations in college than they did in high school (another word, they treated me better). In fact, I learned more from college than from high school.
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That's exactly what happen to me when I was in a mainstream high school with oral on;ly program which don't have any accommodations in the hearing classrooms. I could not understand what the hearing teachers and hearing students are saying in the discussion or lecturing. I had poor grades instead of A's and B's. I was also jealous of my hearing sister getting all the straight A's. She is very smart. But years later when I went to the community college in Seattle, Washington, they have a wonderful Deaf program and they have ASL interpreters and notetakers. I get excellent grades in college better than in high school. I learned a lot from college and I was happy about it all. That is saying that I am more Deaf then being deaf or hoh (medical term). :cool2:
 
ecp said:
4. I'm currently applying to medical school. To get into medical school I need to show that I can use a stethoscope (they make ultra amplified ones now) BUT my current hearing aids are old and way too weak.


Maybe a virtual hug. (I like real life hugs but not from people who have stalked me on the internet:)
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I've seen Amplified Stethoscope before back in 20 years ago. A deaf guy taken Chiropractic course. I tried that and it was rather interesting.. Also he bought an Oscilloscope machine with "oscilloscope recorder" which I forgot what it called cuz I haven't used that word for it :Hmm: and asked me to hook things up from Amplified stethoscope to Oscilloscope input. It worked nicely so he can see heart rhythm.

I understood how you feel about being not deaf enough to deaf people/too deaf for hearing people.

I've been there and I signed PSE and ASL. I don't like SEE but I do when I have to. Some deaf people think I'm budding with hearing people cuz I can speak with hearing people and understood hearing jokes. Actually, I prefer to hang around deafie than hearing cuz that's where I am comfortable. I have been around hearing people many years at work and gotten used to it.

I have encountered some staunch ASL deafie who get angry or criticize over how I or my deafie friends signs. To me it's pretty extreme. They don't understand that sometime locally, deafie sign their own ASL or PSE while deafie from other state signs bit differently. We don't live in perfect world. I've been criticized and micromanaged by staunch ASL deaf guy (was visitor) at Church. I let him what he want his way and expect every deafie do the same. After he left, I let deafie decide and they tried that for few months and realized it's not working and fell back to Local ASL. I knew it would happen anyway.

So you are not alone!

Make you feel any better?

:grouphug::hug:

Catty
 
Hear Again said:
I also sign in PSE yet have not encountered any problems with the Deaf community because of it. My experience has been that as long as you are in the process of learning sign or can communicate in ASL, PSE or even SEE, no one minds.
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Same here! who cares!

Catty
 
<ecp and whatdidyousay, I have LD too - math and math-related -similar to dyslexia but not as well-known at all.>

BACK to topic - I accept you the way you are ..... :)
 
I completely understand the feeling of being between two worlds. I use my HAs so that I can keep working. But my signing skills are weak and I do not have many opportunities to improve them. However, I have never encountered any Deaf members who were critical of my trying to sign and talk at the same time.:D
 
I'm doing a mental health nursing course and have been provided with an amplified stethoscope. To be honest it's not much good, I can't hear it at all well. It's called an 'e-steth', so best if you avoid this one. However, when I went for my assessment for Disabled Student's Allowance, which funds such things in the UK, the guy didn't even want to see my audiogram. It was a case of 'OK, you're deaf and need an amplified stethoscope, we'll get you one.' I didn't get the chance to try anything beforehand, as he didn't have any at his office.

This stethoscope can be used as it stands, with special headphones for use with the 'T' switch on your HAs or with an fm system, but none of these seem to be loud enough for me to hear it.

My hearing loss ranges from 80-105 db (left ear) and 70-95 db (right ear). I would recommend insisting on trying a stethoscope before purchasing it, something that the British NHS, who provided my DSA, didn't allow me the luxury of!!
 
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