Am I over reacting?

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jag

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Hello all
I am having a frustrating time with my current supervisor and his/her refusal to actually understand why I refused to let this statement "____ communicates when she wants to." (that's exactly how it is written) in my yearly appraisal. This was taken from comments from my co workers. I have a meeting with an HR rep whom I've talked to once already with a co worker also explaining what she has noticed.

Another meeting is set up soon with HR rep, supervisor and myself. while I got what I consider to be offending statements regarding my communication skills removed, (every one knows I have a hearing problem and has plus this is a major medical center that usually does things right, I do have a pager that uses the text and emergency notices through the paging system to pagers) the email notes from that meeting to hr and my dept head state that this in this supervisors opinion I am taking the statement out of context and overreacting.

The upcoming meeting is to discuss this lack of understanding on the part of the supervisor. I want to know, from my fellow hoh/deaf travelers through life if I am overreacting?

I may be, since I have gradually developed no tolerance for people who state I only talk, answer or communicate when I want to.

oh well. rant over. :)
 
jag said:
Hello all
I am having a frustrating time with my current supervisor and his/her refusal to actually understand why I refused to let this statement "____ communicates when she wants to." (that's exactly how it is written) in my yearly appraisal. This was taken from comments from my co workers. I have a meeting with an HR rep whom I've talked to once already with a co worker also explaining what she has noticed.

Another meeting is set up soon with HR rep, supervisor and myself. while I got what I consider to be offending statements regarding my communication skills removed, (every one knows I have a hearing problem and has plus this is a major medical center that usually does things right, I do have a pager that uses the text and emergency notices through the paging system to pagers) the email notes from that meeting to hr and my dept head state that this in this supervisors opinion I am taking the statement out of context and overreacting.

The upcoming meeting is to discuss this lack of understanding on the part of the supervisor. I want to know, from my fellow hoh/deaf travelers through life if I am overreacting?

I may be, since I have gradually developed no tolerance for people who state I only talk, answer or communicate when I want to.

oh well. rant over. :)
Click to expand...

Sounds like the entire medical center could use some sensitivity training. Those reports could hurt your chances for promotions or whatever. Nawww, you are not overreacting and know what to do.
Stomp 'em! Stomp 'em! Stomp 'em! :)
 
They should rephrase that to "They will only communicate with you when they want to."
 
jag said:
Hello all
I am having a frustrating time with my current supervisor and his/her refusal to actually understand why I refused to let this statement "____ communicates when she wants to." (that's exactly how it is written) in my yearly appraisal. This was taken from comments from my co workers. I have a meeting with an HR rep whom I've talked to once already with a co worker also explaining what she has noticed.

Another meeting is set up soon with HR rep, supervisor and myself. while I got what I consider to be offending statements regarding my communication skills removed, (every one knows I have a hearing problem and has plus this is a major medical center that usually does things right, I do have a pager that uses the text and emergency notices through the paging system to pagers) the email notes from that meeting to hr and my dept head state that this in this supervisors opinion I am taking the statement out of context and overreacting.

The upcoming meeting is to discuss this lack of understanding on the part of the supervisor. I want to know, from my fellow hoh/deaf travelers through life if I am overreacting?

I may be, since I have gradually developed no tolerance for people who state I only talk, answer or communicate when I want to.

oh well. rant over. :)
Click to expand...
I don't think you're overreacting.

I had a similar situation with an art teacher over accomodations years ago. She wouldn't allow me to have a note taker because she thought it made me too dependent on others. Her rationale? In the Real World, people are not going to make accomodations for me and that I shouldn't be coddled. She thought she was doing me a favor.
 
I don't think that's over reacting.
 
no, you are not. Everyone here knows when they feel overwhelmed, overload, or tired, it is harder to concentrate on speechreading.. that some days they can do really well and some days they can't. This is why alot of people turn to ASL.
 
Ask your HR to provide deaf/HOH awareness training. Such training, depending on who presents it, can be educational to the audience.
 
Hello everyone: Some of you know me from other threads. I have been having a nightmare of a time in this college. I'm just going to give a short version as I know everyone is busy.

the college is trying to ban my service animal and me from campus. This has to do with me asking for disability services for 7 weeks and not getting help and one instructor because I don't talk in class. and I asked for 15-30 minutes to finish an assignment before taking a test. I'm supposed to have those rights.

I'm deaf and don't have a clue because she doesn't write on board. Now Bubba & I are being segregated from the rest of the class. We now have to sit in a small room with a small window to look out of.

I Had meeting with dean of human services, and the regular dean. They treated me so badly....I wasn't allowed to answer questions or defend Bubba and I was told to my face (read it on a screen) that they will make sure I never get into a jr. or university in the United States. I was told that that the meeting was not for me and that I should bend down and kiss the jr. deans feet. Keep in mind there was a note taker who didn't write anything anyone said except for me.

The disability support service doctored my records, I didn't have a chance to say anything or defend Bubba & myself. I have had so many Civil Rights & ADA voilations that it would make anyones head spin. I'm trying to find a Civil rights lawyer But for now I have to go through so much humilation, still not get the help I needed and being told that I'm in the wrong field (Garontology Paraprofessiona minor in psychl) because I should never be around any hearing people ever.

These people had me convicted before I came in. They refused to look at any of my proof of events, papers & emails of what they were supposed to do but never did. And I was told it didn't matter what I say because they hold my future in their hands and they will only believe thier staff. I used to spend each day crying then I simply got pissed off at the treatment. I do the assignments which are required videos and do not closed caption.

I was told they are the Federal Government that they do enough to make sure people like me stay in thier place. They threatened me with failing this semester. My husband was refused entry into the meeting because of how he looks, and he was mad.Plus he said "you know they are going to craw fish out of this one." The called security to try and intimidate him and wanted him off the campus now.

This is my educational nightmare I have been trying to endure but you know mentally I'm still broken. I would like to ask if any one would like to email the baby dean just say hey we are people and have Civil Rights, which are protected and they have no right doing what they are doing. No one has to, I've been working on flooding thier email so they know the injustice will not be tolerated by anyone. the baby dean is: Alex Roberts Alexr@spokanefalls.edu

I have several "labels of disabilities" and continuosly am told I'm lying about being deaf even with Audiologists test & my family doctors tests showing I'm profoundly deaf.
I have been asking people to tell them that they are violating not only my rights but all my Civil Rights that many have fought for and that they should never treat anyone as like this. They demand I say they did everything possible, I cried during this meeting and the one that is supposed to help the deaf was signing nasty remarks about me and Bubba, I watched as they laughed. I feel violated, forced left hanging by myself & Bubba. I have been advocating for myself ( as well as husband & mother) there's only 3 of us and I'm drowning. I get an averagre of 3-5 hours sleep because I have to do all assignments as a hearing person which is very hard. This one instructor had already made it very clear that I have to do more than the class because I'm lying.

I thought I would give y'all something to laugh about. Bubba is a big boy. Staffordshire Terrier. Half Pit and Half American Bull dog. I was told that he is never to be seen or I will fail. I laughed so hard I almost feel out of the chair. They said I didn't need him because I didn't have him with me. I simply stated that he is trained to help my mother when she is alone. She has primary progressve MS and when something is wrong he presses the medical alert button. His sissy Tessa is still learning but she helps as much as she can.

All of this is because I refuse to wear hearing aids and an FM unit because I just can't hear.
So instead I'm accused of being one of those people. I was told that deaf people who refuse hearing aids and amplification units are not fit to be around others because "we are maladaptive and a danger to others." I just don't know what part of "I'm deaf" they don't understand. Besides if it does not help why use 'em. I donated my hearing aids so someone who can't afford them and wants a pair can have them.

Real quick this should make everyone laugh: Last year I had a hearing test which was never completed because the lady doing the test got mad at me...I couldn't hear the tones. So she said I was faking and sent a report to the college stating that I was within normal hearing range. I ended up going to another Audiologist who tested me days later and found I had lost over 60% of my hearing. Now something funnier: No one can lose hearing in three months time. Which is what happened to me. Okay don't laugh to hard.

I want to thank everyone here. Without the guidance and support I would be an emotional wreck. Thank you all for helping me. I went from crying all the time to trying to get the rights that many have given thier lives for all of us. Please excuse any spelling or sentence structure errors I don't get much sleep. I have been up for 20 hours and Bubba & I still have to sit in an enclosure away from the rest of the class for 3 hours.

I hope everyone has a beautiful day.
Michelena Boehmer
 
jag said:
Hello all
I am having a frustrating time with my current supervisor and his/her refusal to actually understand why I refused to let this statement "____ communicates when she wants to." (that's exactly how it is written) in my yearly appraisal. This was taken from comments from my co workers. I have a meeting with an HR rep whom I've talked to once already with a co worker also explaining what she has noticed.

Another meeting is set up soon with HR rep, supervisor and myself. while I got what I consider to be offending statements regarding my communication skills removed, (every one knows I have a hearing problem and has plus this is a major medical center that usually does things right, I do have a pager that uses the text and emergency notices through the paging system to pagers) the email notes from that meeting to hr and my dept head state that this in this supervisors opinion I am taking the statement out of context and overreacting.

The upcoming meeting is to discuss this lack of understanding on the part of the supervisor. I want to know, from my fellow hoh/deaf travelers through life if I am overreacting?

I may be, since I have gradually developed no tolerance for people who state I only talk, answer or communicate when I want to.

oh well. rant over. :)
Click to expand...

You could be making a mountain out of a molehill. The question is, are you "communicating only when you want to"?

Are you keeping to yourself? If so, then this is valid-an appraisal is designed to show where improvement is needed. I would try to work with your supervisor to get an understanding of what they mean and meet each other half way. Try not to make waves unless you absolutely have to. I am part of the "people with disabilities" focal group where I work and I know that there are alot of misunderstandings when it comes to this. Supervisors are human and can make mistakes to.
 
paddelingbear said:
Hello everyone: Some of you know me from other threads. I have been having a nightmare of a time in this college. I'm just going to give a short version as I know everyone is busy.

the college is trying to ban my service animal and me from campus. This has to do with me asking for disability services for 7 weeks and not getting help and one instructor because I don't talk in class. and I asked for 15-30 minutes to finish an assignment before taking a test. I'm supposed to have those rights.

I'm deaf and don't have a clue because she doesn't write on board. Now Bubba & I are being segregated from the rest of the class. We now have to sit in a small room with a small window to look out of.

I Had meeting with dean of human services, and the regular dean. They treated me so badly....I wasn't allowed to answer questions or defend Bubba and I was told to my face (read it on a screen) that they will make sure I never get into a jr. or university in the United States. I was told that that the meeting was not for me and that I should bend down and kiss the jr. deans feet. Keep in mind there was a note taker who didn't write anything anyone said except for me.

The disability support service doctored my records, I didn't have a chance to say anything or defend Bubba & myself. I have had so many Civil Rights & ADA voilations that it would make anyones head spin. I'm trying to find a Civil rights lawyer But for now I have to go through so much humilation, still not get the help I needed and being told that I'm in the wrong field (Garontology Paraprofessiona minor in psychl) because I should never be around any hearing people ever.

These people had me convicted before I came in. They refused to look at any of my proof of events, papers & emails of what they were supposed to do but never did. And I was told it didn't matter what I say because they hold my future in their hands and they will only believe thier staff. I used to spend each day crying then I simply got pissed off at the treatment. I do the assignments which are required videos and do not closed caption.

I was told they are the Federal Government that they do enough to make sure people like me stay in thier place. They threatened me with failing this semester. My husband was refused entry into the meeting because of how he looks, and he was mad.Plus he said "you know they are going to craw fish out of this one." The called security to try and intimidate him and wanted him off the campus now.

This is my educational nightmare I have been trying to endure but you know mentally I'm still broken. I would like to ask if any one would like to email the baby dean just say hey we are people and have Civil Rights, which are protected and they have no right doing what they are doing. No one has to, I've been working on flooding thier email so they know the injustice will not be tolerated by anyone. the baby dean is: Alex Roberts Alexr@spokanefalls.edu

I have several "labels of disabilities" and continuosly am told I'm lying about being deaf even with Audiologists test & my family doctors tests showing I'm profoundly deaf.
I have been asking people to tell them that they are violating not only my rights but all my Civil Rights that many have fought for and that they should never treat anyone as like this. They demand I say they did everything possible, I cried during this meeting and the one that is supposed to help the deaf was signing nasty remarks about me and Bubba, I watched as they laughed. I feel violated, forced left hanging by myself & Bubba. I have been advocating for myself ( as well as husband & mother) there's only 3 of us and I'm drowning. I get an averagre of 3-5 hours sleep because I have to do all assignments as a hearing person which is very hard. This one instructor had already made it very clear that I have to do more than the class because I'm lying.

I thought I would give y'all something to laugh about. Bubba is a big boy. Staffordshire Terrier. Half Pit and Half American Bull dog. I was told that he is never to be seen or I will fail. I laughed so hard I almost feel out of the chair. They said I didn't need him because I didn't have him with me. I simply stated that he is trained to help my mother when she is alone. She has primary progressve MS and when something is wrong he presses the medical alert button. His sissy Tessa is still learning but she helps as much as she can.

All of this is because I refuse to wear hearing aids and an FM unit because I just can't hear.
So instead I'm accused of being one of those people. I was told that deaf people who refuse hearing aids and amplification units are not fit to be around others because "we are maladaptive and a danger to others." I just don't know what part of "I'm deaf" they don't understand. Besides if it does not help why use 'em. I donated my hearing aids so someone who can't afford them and wants a pair can have them.

Real quick this should make everyone laugh: Last year I had a hearing test which was never completed because the lady doing the test got mad at me...I couldn't hear the tones. So she said I was faking and sent a report to the college stating that I was within normal hearing range. I ended up going to another Audiologist who tested me days later and found I had lost over 60% of my hearing. Now something funnier: No one can lose hearing in three months time. Which is what happened to me. Okay don't laugh to hard.

I want to thank everyone here. Without the guidance and support I would be an emotional wreck. Thank you all for helping me. I went from crying all the time to trying to get the rights that many have given thier lives for all of us. Please excuse any spelling or sentence structure errors I don't get much sleep. I have been up for 20 hours and Bubba & I still have to sit in an enclosure away from the rest of the class for 3 hours.


I hope everyone has a beautiful day.
Michelena Boehmer
Click to expand...

Why not wear amplification and meet them halfway just until you finish school? Your only other alternative is to find another school, higher a lawyer, talk with the State Department of Human Resourses or maybe get the other students to side with you.
 
cdaigle430 said:
Why not wear amplification and meet them halfway just until you finish school? Your only other alternative is to find another school, higher a lawyer, talk with the State Department of Human Resourses or maybe get the other students to side with you.
Click to expand...

All of this is because I refuse to wear hearing aids and an FM unit because I just can't hear.
Click to expand...

No point in wearing amplification if one cannot benefit from it. I know I wouldn't benefit from wearing a FM system because I didn't when I was in elementary school. So why start now? It's different for everyone regarding hearing aids and FM systems.

No need to compromise especially when they are doing something like this...

the college is trying to ban my service animal and me from campus. This has to do with me asking for disability services for 7 weeks and not getting help and one instructor because I don't talk in class. and I asked for 15-30 minutes to finish an assignment before taking a test. I'm supposed to have those rights.

I'm deaf and don't have a clue because she doesn't write on board. Now Bubba & I are being segregated from the rest of the class. We now have to sit in a small room with a small window to look out of.
Click to expand...

A lawsuit against the college is obviously the best option at the moment...
 
Not overreacting. It seems like coworkers and supervisors may be equating being HOH/deaf with aloofness. Many people are negative about introversion in general, too. I agree that sensitivity training is appropriate and that legal avenues should be pursued.
 
You said "No point in wearing amplification if one cannot benefit from it. I know I wouldn't benefit from wearing a FM system because I didn't when I was in elementary school. So why start now? It's different for everyone regarding hearing aids and FM systems."
You say you do not benefit? is it not a benefit if it makes others fell better towards you? is it not a benefit if they realize you are trying. Is it not a benefit if it improves any of the situation? I realize it may not help you hear/understand but it sure gives others the opinion that you are making and effort instead of digging in your heals. It's amazing what one can accomplish with a little smile and courtesy even when one has to eat a little crow to do it. Only ones that come out ahead in a law suit are the attorneys. They can't lose. Get paid when they win and get paid when they lose and if they do bad enough they can always get into the government.
 
Rampratt said:
You say you do not benefit? is it not a benefit if it makes others fell better towards you? is it not a benefit if they realize you are trying. Is it not a benefit if it improves any of the situation? I realize it may not help you hear/understand but it sure gives others the opinion that you are making and effort instead of digging in your heals. It's amazing what one can accomplish with a little smile and courtesy even when one has to eat a little crow to do it. Only ones that come out ahead in a law suit are the attorneys. They can't lose. Get paid when they win and get paid when they lose and if they do bad enough they can always get into the government.
Click to expand...

Accommodations should be taken as a top priority in any educational settings. If the person cannot benefit from a hearing aid or a FM system, do not force the person to wear it.

It's not about showing courtesy, it's about accommodating someone's special needs. If I am paying for an education, I expect them to be able to accommodate my needs, if they cannot or refuse to, I have no choice but to pursue legal action or ask for a refund.

No compromising necessary.
 
Banjo said:
Accommodations should be taken as a top priority in any educational settings. If the person cannot benefit from a hearing aid or a FM system, do not force the person to wear it.

It's not about showing courtesy, it's about accommodating someone's special needs. If I am paying for an education, I expect them to be able to accommodate my needs, if they cannot or refuse to, I have no choice but to pursue legal action or ask for a refund.

No compromising necessary.
Click to expand...

Very well said!
 
Rampratt said:
You said "No point in wearing amplification if one cannot benefit from it. I know I wouldn't benefit from wearing a FM system because I didn't when I was in elementary school. So why start now? It's different for everyone regarding hearing aids and FM systems."
You say you do not benefit? is it not a benefit if it makes others fell better towards you? is it not a benefit if they realize you are trying. Is it not a benefit if it improves any of the situation? I realize it may not help you hear/understand but it sure gives others the opinion that you are making and effort instead of digging in your heals. It's amazing what one can accomplish with a little smile and courtesy even when one has to eat a little crow to do it. Only ones that come out ahead in a law suit are the attorneys. They can't lose. Get paid when they win and get paid when they lose and if they do bad enough they can always get into the government.
Click to expand...
If the FM system doesn't work for the employee then why pretend? In fact, if the co-workers see that the deaf employee has an FM system but still appears to be non-communicative with them, they will assume that he is willfully ignoring them rather than realizing that the FM system isn't working.

Suppose it was a blind employee who didn't make eye contact with co-workers when engaged in conversation? Would it be fair to put down their remarks in an evaluation, stating that "the employee makes co-workers and customers uncomfortable because he avoids eye contact when conversing"? Would it be reasonable to tell the blind employee to wear glasses so he can make eye contact?

Suppose it was an older employee with both legs amputated due to diabetes. For various reasons he's not a good candidate for prostheses. Would it be fair for his supervisors to state on his evaluation that, "he doesn't show respect for senior supervisors or customers because he remains seated when they enter his office"? Would it be reasonable for the boss to insist that the employee get prosthetic legs so he can stand up to greet people?

Should all the employees just "grin and bear" unfair evaluations and unreasonable expectations? I don't think so.

If the company has an established protocol for appealing an evaluation, then that's the first step to be followed. In many organizations that takes care of the situation and law suits aren't necessary.
 
Michelena,
Call the local news company and see if they can report your story? Also, write an article and see if the local newspapers can post it in the opinions column, they may also post it on the front page. Sometimes the media can be more powerfull than anyone in government into persuading people to do the right thing :)
 

Hello everyone:

I actually did use the FM unit for two weeks before I just said no, no more. The problem stems simply because I had a hearing test 13 months ago and DSS, Deans, Instructors don't believe that anyone can lose the rest of their hearing so quickly. I took three hearing tests within three months time. Each month my hearing was less.:eek3: But they still want another hearing test. All the others they refuse to accept. Even during the meeting I had written documents by DSS that said I would have someone taking notes, no one showed up. I asked if hubby could take notes (we celebrated 22 years on the 2nd of March) they said no. I asked if I could use a recorder to transcribe what is said, told no. Asked for copy of lecture notes, they said no. Every time I found solution they said no. I wanted to use cart, told no. Finally they said I was lying. :shock:
They told me that Bubba stinks, that because I use medical marijuana I'm a danger to the Instructors, that Bubba will bite someone....He Staffordshire Terrior, does Therapy work with Seniors for past three years. Told me evreryone in my classes say Bubba walks around free, is the center of attention, and so on. Bubba bathes every two days (with my help), Brushed at least two-three times a day (he loves to be brushed.) I said lets take poll both classes they said no way. I was offered a $20 refund for the semester if I drop classes. I said no. I signed during meeting and they say "we don't know how to sign." there were two Interpreters there but no one wanted to tell them what I said.

It's not that I want to sue. I want to discuss with class what we are learning. I tried interacting with ASL class but no one would acknowledge me, even standing in front of them. ASL is all oral including vidios we have to watch. Chemical Dependency we have to watch Videos. Both classes require this at home. No captions. They say I walk around pretending to be deaf. I said I wish it was that simple because I miss my husbands voice. During this meeting I cried and they laughed. Both Interpeters signed how stupid I was for crying. Geez they wouldn't say what I was signing but both deans understood what they were saying.

I love talking to people, learning about them and their interests. When I am so mad I can't see I know not to talk. If I did I would have been kicked out for what I would have said. I know myself when it comes to that. If I don't know whats being said I cant interact. By the way I did the polls and all in emails said no way he stink. He stays under tables until some one stretches and he gets kicked the moves next to table. I just want to have an education, get off of disability and be me. I already work with eldery doing home care (I'm Nursing Assistant)...But I'm working on a Gerontology degree with minor in psych...I have tried everything a person can do to be nice. I even spoke to my Psychology Instructor (she is a Psychologist) to make sure I wasn't being the biggest butt in the world. I was shocked when she pointed out all the things they keep doing. She has gotten involved now so has Civil Rights, and the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. I still desire to sue only because I want them to know that people can go deaf suddenly, that because you don't see my disabilities (have a few) and you can't see my hearing loss you can't get away without doing your jobs. I really dont want anyone else to go through this.

Suing does make lawyers rich, people poor. I am waiting for now as I have some help for a change. But I'm still working on suing anyway. They kept Bubba in the chemical dependency class because the Civil Rights people showed up and made sure they didn't do that.

I must go. Sorry long. I love words and writing...I have to get back to my studies I started 24 hours ago. I have 4 ASL tests Friday, three in chemical dependency on monday and 30 pages of writing assignments from the chemical dependency Instructor. I shall stop in again. Thank you for all of your comments, it gives me the opportunity to see where I go wrong, may go wrong, or even be right sometimes. All of you are wonderful. I will go to our paper and youtube but I have to let Civil Rights start with their job, and DVR too. So I wait gather evidence and then go after them.

Monday I finally got to join in on discussions. I felt like I was ontop of the world...People didn't think I knew much..only because they dont know much about being deaf. Told them deaf does not equal dumb and we can all learn from each other as its new to me. Even though I have deaf family...It was never me so I never realized how hard it was/is for them and others.

Have a beautiful weekend & week. Michelena p.s. sorry about spelling errors as I got fake nails for my Anniversary...their a luxury in our house only because we want to have a savings...We've gone to long spending all our money and not saving a penny like two drunken Sailors "No offense meant" all Military we honor in our house as well as Bubba & Tessa (my hubbies service dog) with military patches and the P.O.W M.I.A. patch..
 
My dad and I are HoH - actually, he is clinically deaf and I am on my way there. My mother, brother and youngest sister are all hearing.

They are of the opinion that I communicate when I want to. My oldest sister, was recently diagnosed with a hearing loss 3 years ago (its a hereditary condition) and she now wears hearing aids (as does her youngest daughter).

Now. . . my sister has been of the opinion (up until she began to lose her own hearing) that her HoH daughter had a **personality** like mine, in that we both acted **paranoid**

In all actuality, we were acting like a person who was HoH. We realized we misheard things people said and acted accordingly.

My sister also had the opinion that my hearing brother, sister and mother had, that me and my father only communicated "when we wanted to."

Of course, her whole opinion and outlook changed when she actually started to lose her hearing. We had a very long and lengthy discussion this past Christmas about all of this. She explained that she finally understood what me, my dad and her daughter had to experience. She also explained that you just CANNOT explain this experience to someone whom has the ability to hear - they will NEVER understand it fully.

She broke down and apologized for treating me the way she did when we grew up. I had to assure her that I had just gotten used to it.

Here is what I absolutely cannot stand. Its when hearing people take an approach to someone who displays what are "normal" characteristics of someone whom is HoH and label them as "autistic" or "paranoid schizophrenic".

I know of a group of HoH residents where I currently reside whom are gathering to file a class action claim against a law firm for doing exactly that.


The only way you will ever get your message across to these ignorant employers/lawyers/judges/professionals when they are discriminating against you, is to simply sue them back to the stone age.
 
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