Young mother to a deaf 2 year old

GrendelQ

41°17′00″N 70°04′58″W
Premium Member
Because you would not accept your daughter for being deaf. You went ahead and put CI on her just so that she can please you for being hearing when she is not. She will always be deaf no matter what. CI is the same like hearing aid. They are just tools but it is not benefit for them to listen and hear the words accurately. Not true at all. You want her to be involve in the hearing world, period. Did she have any deaf friends that she can relate to like sign language? She will be happy if she does. You are just stubborn as we have been through this discussion for over 6 years. You just refuse to accept us just because we are deaf and we have the experience of what is like to be in a Deaf world. We are telling you our experiences, but you refuse to understand us. You just don't get it. :(

I think I get it: You tell the OP to ignore my advice based on my family's approach: immediate ASL immersion for the whole family, a deaf school, integrating the child into the Deaf community, don't think getting a CI would be an easier route. And I think you do this because you know that my family also values English and you know very little about CIs.

So, if the the OP is to ignore what I've suggested, as you say, what would your opposing alternative be? Do you instead recommend an oral school or environment, no ASL, and a rush to get a CI as a fix? Or upon rereading, do you think you might have misread, or not read at all?
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
no need to agrue here. all i support is to see kids being having to learn ASL and/or speaking & listen in a full toolbox to access to language, ( either with HA, or CI or nothing). That is wise to contact with other parents of deaf kids for their opinions or see what their kids are alike, to meet their satisfying needs of helping their kids. Be sure to have kids to be part of deaf community and still function and living in the hearing world. Therefore, It helps kids to decide what to do with their lives to keep ASL, and continuing to speak/listening or nah.

what state are you living, then let heairng parents here give you some tips and make your own decision what the best things for your kids.

On a side note, Im an ASL user, Deaf mom of hearing two Kids. Admittedly, I do not know much about any deaf schools according to the year of 2012. But over 20 years ago, I was in Deaf school all my life and don't live in the Deaf residential schools. I lived with my family. I had an awesome childhood, had Deaf friends when I was a kid, and involved many activities . Indeed, I have good qualify of Deaf friends here in a small hometown. I am very comfortable the way my life goes. I have a job in the hearing world for a long time.

Keep asking any parents of deaf kids to collect the information about language and schools. :)
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
I think any Deaf person that wants to hear is probably considered "deaf", not "Deaf" by the Deaf community...

That's what you think it is. But just letting you know that there are
some people who are Deaf who happen to have CIs and HAs and very involved with Deaf community.

It is just attitude to approach on how people are around Deaf people is all depend.
 

GISJason

New Member
As a profound loss deaf child from birth I wish my parents had implanted me with the CI at the earliest possible time. Since I'd proably fared better with speech theraphy that was given to me in while in elem school. Otherwise it was all moot with FM/HA technology back then, I can see what they're sayin about anyone who is deaf and wanting to "hear" is assumed not Deaf by community standards...They're usually quick to judge and even in some cases throw away friendships over that subject. Deaf pride does exist and sometimes I'm even ashamed by their own ignorance. Thinking its perfectly alright to insult others for not accepting deafness in their child. Hello I was a child and I'm one that WISHES to hear and speak effectivly with others without the aid of interpreters or sign. But yes YMMV all that was from my life experince. So don't weight too much on my option.

* I urge you to soak up whatever you can on the subject of CI and make sure it's not the route you want for your child. I feel if I had a deaf child I'd go for it asap. The earlier the better chances he/she will have a shot at having a "normal life" in the hearing world, like the saying you cannot teach a old dog new tricks LOL at young ages while the mind is in a still developing stage its best to get speech in and, then they'd be able to blend in. Weather we like it or not we're still the minory in this world. I grew up and had a great childhood, good mixture of hearing and deaf friends,* attented mainstream schools mostly, had great interpreters, then went to a deaf school in JR High then back to mainstream for High school but I can see areas where it'd be so much better had I been implanted early in my life.

* Why reduce chances and routes of their getting a education to the best maxium potential? Of course all that depends on where you live and plan on spending years. Deaf school nearby? Or too far? Willing to let your kid go to a deaf school and even in many cases commute and not see them til the weekend or once / twice a month.. Many parents do this to their deaf child which isn't ideal in many cases but plently were successful and fine. However many also had issues other than hearing impairment like abandonment by their parents which made the deaf world perfect for them to stay in deaf school among peers they can commuicate with and do much more than they could in a mainstream school lifestyle. But that in no way is preparing them for the real world at all. Employment and etc.. is still a pia to achieve cause we have to WORK HARDER to sell ourselves and stand out more than the other potetial candiate.

Even noticed many of these friends of mine who grew up and were raised in heavy ASL/ Deaf culture ended up with writing and grammar issues of keeping ASL/English apart.. ex writing in ASL format or improper use of or lack of certain English terms in the proper sense. This will proably get me flamed tho it's a FACT weather they like it or not even have seen a ASL man that achieved a masters degree make these very grammar errors while speaking to another person over chat and even eMails it's sad because They cannot see it themselves. I'm not putting them down or saying I'm correct or even grammarly perfect. I'm simply giving my option. Use ESL at first if you want to reduce chances of that occuring to your child.

Very hard decison to make....So many factors to consider. I wish you the best in your endavors weather you take that route or another...
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
As a profound loss deaf child from birth I wish my parents had implanted me with the CI at the earliest possible time. Since I'd proably fared better with speech theraphy that was given to me in while in elem school. Otherwise it was all moot with FM/HA technology back then, I can see what they're sayin about anyone who is deaf and wanting to "hear" is assumed not Deaf by community standards...They're usually quick to judge and even in some cases throw away friendships over that subject. Deaf pride does exist and sometimes I'm even ashamed by their own ignorance. Thinking its perfectly alright to insult others for not accepting deafness in their child. Hello I was a child and I'm one that WISHES to hear and speak effectivly with others without the aid of interpreters or sign. But yes YMMV all that was from my life experince. So don't weight too much on my option.

* I urge you to soak up whatever you can on the subject of CI and make sure it's not the route you want for your child. I feel if I had a deaf child I'd go for it asap. The earlier the better chances he/she will have a shot at having a "normal life" in the hearing world, like the saying you cannot teach a old dog new tricks LOL at young ages while the mind is in a still developing stage its best to get speech in and, then they'd be able to blend in. Weather we like it or not we're still the minory in this world. I grew up and had a great childhood, good mixture of hearing and deaf friends,* attented mainstream schools mostly, had great interpreters, then went to a deaf school in JR High then back to mainstream for High school but I can see areas where it'd be so much better had I been implanted early in my life.

* Why reduce chances and routes of their getting a education to the best maxium potential? Of course all that depends on where you live and plan on spending years. Deaf school nearby? Or too far? Willing to let your kid go to a deaf school and even in many cases commute and not see them til the weekend or once / twice a month.. Many parents do this to their deaf child which isn't ideal in many cases but plently were successful and fine. However many also had issues other than hearing impairment like abandonment by their parents which made the deaf world perfect for them to stay in deaf school among peers they can commuicate with and do much more than they could in a mainstream school lifestyle. But that in no way is preparing them for the real world at all. Employment and etc.. is still a pia to achieve cause we have to WORK HARDER to sell ourselves and stand out more than the other potetial candiate.

Even noticed many of these friends of mine who grew up and were raised in heavy ASL/ Deaf culture ended up with writing and grammar issues of keeping ASL/English apart.. ex writing in ASL format or improper use of or lack of certain English terms in the proper sense. This will proably get me flamed tho it's a FACT weather they like it or not even have seen a ASL man that achieved a masters degree make these very grammar errors while speaking to another person over chat and even eMails it's sad because They cannot see it themselves. I'm not putting them down or saying I'm correct or even grammarly perfect. I'm simply giving my option. Use ESL at first if you want to reduce chances of that occuring to your child.

Very hard decison to make....So many factors to consider. I wish you the best in your endavors weather you take that route or another...

I am sorry that happened to you and this is how you feel about it. Some parents push kids too hard in many different ways. I hope you have a comfortable life now, like a job, and a family. I did not read your introduction but do you have a job and a family? Since you mentioned about English.
 

CSign

New Member
I am sorry that happened to you and this is how you feel about it. Some parents push kids too hard in many different ways. I hope you have a comfortable life now, like a job, and a family. I did not read your introduction but do you have a job and a family? Since you mentioned about English.


What do a job and family have to do with English?
 

GISJason

New Member
I am sorry that happened to you and this is how you feel about it. Some parents push kids too hard in many different ways. I hope you have a comfortable life now, like a job, and a family. I did not read your introduction but do you have a job and a family? Since you mentioned about English.

I'm not it happened and mother was doing what every other mom does what they think is best for their child and yes certainly some parents do. Mine were great and supported me in any choices I made. Yes holding 2 crap jobs currently and a great family of my own with 3 kids, Worked at Coca Cola then John Deere then Engineering firm then local assessor's office... I've done a lot and am proud of what I have achieved. Just think I could do better but thats me.. I push myself to do the best at everything I start. Image I'd be much better if I had good speech and CI :laugh2: but now making do with HAs.

Yeah what does English have to do with it at all?? :puzzled:
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
I'm not it happened and mother was doing what every other mom does what they think is best for their child and yes certainly some parents do. Mine were great and supported me in any choices I made. Yes holding 2 crap jobs currently and a great family of my own with 3 kids, Worked at Coca Cola then John Deere then Engineering firm then local assessor's office... I've done a lot and am proud of what I have achieved. Just think I could do better but thats me.. I push myself to do the best at everything I start. Image I'd be much better if I had good speech and CI :laugh2: but now making do with HAs.

Yeah what does English have to do with it at all?? :puzzled:

First of all, you complain about ASL language, not english that embarrase you and second you complain that you wish you had CI in your earlier age. so what is it so important to have English in your eye is my question. English is important, true but you got my attention about English.

Glad to know that you have job and family. So why don't you get a CI? my hub got a CI at around age 33. If it bothers you so much then go for CI that you might be glad to have it now and take speech therapy, sure it takes a lot of times but same thing for small kids who takes speech therapy and miss out of their free time like 1 to 2 hours or longer. Same deal for small kids or adults.
 

GISJason

New Member
First of all, you complain about ASL language, not english that embarrase you and second you complain that you wish you had CI in your earlier age. so what is it so important to have English in your eye is my question. English is important, true but you got my attention about English.

Glad to know that you have job and family. So why don't you get a CI? my hub got a CI at around age 33. If it bothers you so much then go for CI that you might be glad to have it now and take speech therapy, sure it takes a lot of times but same thing for small kids who takes speech therapy and miss out of their free time like 1 to 2 hours or longer. Same deal for small kids or adults.

I'd rather not go into detail about it as it may offend a handful of members here but hearing people and ones that were raised in a heavy ESL background with English then ASL can relate to what I'm talking about otherwise they cannot see or relate to what I'm saying.

Yeah I'm considering doing the CI only after I've exhausted the HA technology available for me...I'm not keen on ruining my hearing with HAs if the CI seems to botch it for my hearing. Cause there's no going back to just HAs if CI fails then I'd be just stone deaf for life not really what I want.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
gisjason,

Agree, Let the OP have this thread. Me too, i do not wish to go far any details.

by the way, like you mention the earlier the best to have a CI. so its better for you to have CI now than waiting BUT you do have fears. same thing for any hearing parents fear for kids with good leftover residual hearing. I know several kids when were born who are the same DB as mine and they went for CI.. unfortunately dr did perform mistakely and destroyed kids' cochlea and kids cant hear NOTHING either CI or HAs. Hard decisions.. i am more comfortable for the full toolbox to access to the language by ASL, and speak/listen.
 

green427

Active Member
When you say "us", it seems you mean all Deaf feel the same way. How can that be possible? Some Deaf want to hear and some don't. That is what I have learned from alldeaf.com Please correct me if I am wrong.

You are right.


Another fine example of how we are welcoming new members.....:roll:
 

GISJason

New Member
gisjason,

Agree, Let the OP have this thread. Me too, i do not wish to go far any details.

by the way, like you mention the earlier the best to have a CI. so its better for you to have CI now than waiting BUT you do have fears. same thing for any hearing parents fear for kids with good leftover residual hearing. I know several kids when were born who are the same DB as mine and they went for CI.. unfortunately dr did perform mistakely and destroyed kids' cochlea and kids cant hear NOTHING either CI or HAs. Hard decisions.. i am more comfortable for the full toolbox to access to the language by ASL, and speak/listen.

Yeah very hard decison to make! Lots of factors to consider like Doctor's experince and success rates etc. Brand used, device upkeep and mapping appts and the fact its not activated at implant really irks me..Have to wait a few weeks before they turn it on.. Wish it was like implant, activate, and map done all in one day! Hopefully all these kids that doctor made mistakes on were paid an handsome settlement not that it'd make up for that at all!!

Yes I seem to be more comfortable with the full toolbox but find myself wanting to hear even more and clearer experince...But in time hopefully HAs get better with technology growing at a rapid rate or have they reached their maxinum potential nowdays? Only time can tell...
 

CSign

New Member
First of all, you complain about ASL language, not english that embarrase you and second you complain that you wish you had CI in your earlier age. so what is it so important to have English in your eye is my question. English is important, true but you got my attention about English.

Glad to know that you have job and family. So why don't you get a CI? my hub got a CI at around age 33. If it bothers you so much then go for CI that you might be glad to have it now and take speech therapy, sure it takes a lot of times but same thing for small kids who takes speech therapy and miss out of their free time like 1 to 2 hours or longer. Same deal for small kids or adults.

If children have some auditory access, whether it be through HA's/CI/whatever, and receive appropriate speech therapy in their early developmental years, the need for speech therapy is not as crucial as it was in the earlier years.

In other words, children aren't going to necessarily require "1-2 hours or longer"- I'm not sure if you're talking about per day or per week.

It depends on the individual needs of the child. With appropriate speech therapy in the early years, the child has theoretically already integrated most of the speech sounds with their spoken language.

For some children or people, intelligible speech is not a possibility and there is nothing wrong with that. The key is giving them the opportunity to develop spoken and signed language, and follow their lead as they grow. Early access is a crucial part of that.
 

GrendelQ

41°17′00″N 70°04′58″W
Premium Member
I know several kids when were born who are the same DB as mine and they went for CI.. unfortunately dr did perform mistakely and destroyed kids' cochlea and kids cant hear NOTHING either CI or HAs.

FF, can you please post the name of the doctor who did this to these several kids (or the hospital)? I know I've researched our surgeon very carefully, and CI parents typically share feedback on any specific doctors they've encountered, but wouldn't want someone to miss taking note of this guy. Issues are available for review in the MAUDE database. But if a CI surgeon has on multiple occasions destroyed cochleas, making them unfit for use with CIs, this info. would be important to get out to the publics others could avoid him. Not that it's any comfort for these once just deaf and now even more deaf children, but I imagine all 3, 4 (? you mentioned several, how many did this doctor destroy?) must have won one heck of a lawsuit against the doctor.
 
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