Would you call me a loser?

I am sorry hear happened hard feeling!
 
Warped said:
I know this feeling... The sad part is realizing that the friendship will never go back to what it was before..
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It's hard. We're very close (ie say I love you, and hug and kiss) and a lot of times, I am just very happy to be friends with her. Very happy. But OH MAN, sometimes (if you get my drift) I just WANT her in the absolute worst way.
 
Don't encourage yourself to being loser. Be forward on, make thing interesting for yourself out your life!
 
Is the first step-don't describe oneself as a "loser".?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
Is the first step-don't describe oneself as a "loser".?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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what, why said you say loser on call on ? inappropriate call serious! bit insult to loser!
 
Travis: the thread heading-would you call me a loser?

Read the first post.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
Travis: My first post #5 suggests Singles dances for her- hardly an activity for "losers".

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
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Dont feel to0 bad. I havent had a gf over a decade. My old neighbor who is his early 50s never touch a woman in his life. He is cripple (he walks very good,walks slow and kinda funny) and works at McDonalds. Nobody owns your soul so their opinions mean nothing.
 
I would never cause anyone a loser. You're too hard on yourself. Maybe you're just a late bloomer.
 
The others about going to church to meet men is a good idea. Hope it all works out!
 
I was a late bloomer too!! Don't worry. You know what sparked my dating life? I learned how to play pool. That is, if you don't like the bar scene, maybe take up bowling? (There are always a lot of guys at the bowling alley near me) I would find an androgynous hobby. It's not about meeting guys in the long run though. Getting a hobby that gets you out of the house and meeting new people in general will spark your confidence. There are plenty of great people out there that will help you open up, even if you are really shy. I wouldn't recommend a book club or bingo... those are great hobbies, just not exactly classic male ones. The more you expose yourself to society the less inadequate you will feel. Plus, think about it this way. You are nearly 30, without any baggage! You just shot straight up the list as far as desirable. :)
 
jupitersnymph said:
I was a late bloomer too!! Don't worry. You know what sparked my dating life? I learned how to play pool. That is, if you don't like the bar scene, maybe take up bowling? (There are always a lot of guys at the bowling alley near me) I would find an androgynous hobby. It's not about meeting guys in the long run though. Getting a hobby that gets you out of the house and meeting new people in general will spark your confidence. There are plenty of great people out there that will help you open up, even if you are really shy. I wouldn't recommend a book club or bingo... those are great hobbies, just not exactly classic male ones. The more you expose yourself to society the less inadequate you will feel. Plus, think about it this way. You are nearly 30, without any baggage! You just shot straight up the list as far as desirable. :)
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I second... cuz I will never call you a loser.. so just take your time don't think about it but before you know it you will find love before your eyes ;) anyway just try to go to deaf events and social and hang out with friends and not be on computer all day like me.. and I'm already 33 years old lol. I haven't got married yet thank god.. but one day it wud be nice being married but who knows? :) so just think positive.. and u will be fine in long run...
 
become a hooker.

then you'll have a boyfriend for everyday of the week.

But in all seriousness, I cant add to a thread that has had already a lot of good suggestions. It'll work out I'm sure.... someday.
 
alwaysandalways said:
So I never had a boyfriend and I am 30 years old. I don't believe I am horribly ugly- probably just not a supermodel. People are shocked by it. I personally am a bit sad sometimes. I think it is because... oh I don't know anymore. I don't really like the bar scene and live in a small town. I think things like match.com are depressing because once a guy goes on a date with me they run for the hills. I would love to just go on a date. Heck even just chating and getting to know someone then dating. ya know what I mean? Must be Saturday- always get down on date nights :(

BTW I am hearing and no I am not looking just to date a Deaf guy. That is not why I posted this. However I do agree a lot of girls seem to be looking for that on this thread.
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Goodness no your not a loser! SO many people in your position, both deaf and hearies. I'm curous tho why you think you drive men away? Do you really think that's true?
 
A more interesting question: why would one define "themselves as losers"?. My user name has mentioned this many times as it seems to suggest to others "one personal truth".
How to change? This is discussed in his book: Self Matters Simon & Schuster New York ,2001.. Try the public library for his thoughts on the matter.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
A more interesting question: why would one define "themselves as losers"?. My user name has mentioned this many times as it seems to suggest to others "one personal truth".
How to change? This is discussed in his book: Self Matters Simon & Schuster New York ,2001.. Try the public library for his thoughts on the matter.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
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We can't believe you have such a hard-on for a snake oil salesman.
Ignore the advice, folks, he is no doctor. :roll:
 
No, you are not a loser. How you compare your dating life makes a difference between what we believe is normal. Dating is never going to be like the movies because it is not that simple.

As a person who is HoH, dated all types of hearing and non-hearing people, and used dating sites for over 15 years, I can tell you it is different for impaired people than hearing people. Impaired people who are seeking people who are not impaired do not get as many dates has hearing people who are seeking hearing people. This is because the pool of selection is much greater for hearing people.

Deaf people who are looking to date only Deaf people will get more dates because, although the pool is smaller, everyone is looking for the same thing.

HoH people who look to date both Deaf and hearing, get less dates because they are really not in either group and both Deaf for Deaf and hearing for hearing are not looking for HoH.

While HoH is a larger group than deaf, unfortunately, we are not as organized socially as the Deaf Community so we are really not our own group.

In addition to all this, it comes down to personality, attractiveness, finances and other things that factor in to whether you have a relationship with someone.

The bottom line: We just don't get as many dates as we think we are supposed to get.

What I would do in your case is lead a healthy active life and work on your dating skills. There are books that can give you the basics on how to date, but they should not be thought of as a manual because dating is specific to each experience.
 
34 and single over here. And not looking. I'm more self-contained than most and just do not feel the urge to pair up or mate. You're not a loser and you're not alone.

My only piece of advice is not to let desperation or feeling pressured determine your love life. You deserve better than vultures.
 
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