Why do Deaf people feel ignored by many?

DeafTim

New Member
I dont know if Im makin sense or nawt. Hearing people have an alliance and we're being left out. They want to keep it that way b/c we're nawt as important as they are. That is how I feel.
 

CrzyMeg

New Member
IDK about me. I just stuck with both community Hearing and Deaf. Technically i have 2 separate Identities. My parents want me to speak or sign while talking which is difficult to do. So i just speak when i am around with hearing family members and hearing friends. I do have deaf friends as well and i sign with them. Sometimes i forget to spend time with deaf friends or hearing family when i with one group or other. It may be hard yes. But if hearing people doesnt want to signs that fine (well for me) I just encourage myself to think positive each day no matter who person is, there is many ways to communicate if something happens.
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
everyone in my family are hearing, lots of my friends also....do I feel "ignored"...Hell NO!...I make my presence "known" and expect the same considerations from them as I'm considerate of them also. (I do get verbally Loud at times) :lol:

Do I feel somewhat "slighted" in group conversations, such as a party or get-together sometimes? Yes...since it's hard to follow the conversations. So, I'm moreso "one on one", not the same person tho'. Most all my friends and family take the time to make me comfortable, and not left out.....I also take the time to ask my boys (hearing) at home..."what's going on with you today? Ur plans for the weekend?"...etc., etc..."Anything you want to talk about?"

If I felt "ignored" by my family or friends, I'd let it be known to them how I felt....All my boys know ASL...so do 2 of my sisters, not fluently tho'. But enuf to get by....

I'm sure hearing people would feel ignored at an all deaf gathering too! So, it's both ways here. How we deal with it, makes the difference....

RR and I must be related. I don't get ignored either! Following group conversations doesn't work, but people absolutely do work to include me.

And if I get tired, I have lots of electronic toys to occupy me while I take a break.
 

Eighty

New Member
This question has plagued the Deaf community for centuries. Why must we all queue or be the last to conversate with anyone?
I don't understand it. Anyone care to explain?

I try not to think in this way. I consider it as "communication barrier" between majority and minority. Unfortunately, both side needs to put in extra effort to communicate and interact in non-native way.

Minorities need to put in extra effort to be heard. I appreciate all works that Deaf activists have done for America, it sure make our life MUCH easier compared to other countries.

Be thankful you werent born 100+ years ago.
 

Cheetah

Cheetah Consulting-Closed
Premium Member
It's always hard when I am with my gf family and my CI battery dies. I go completely deaf and her parents are near impossible to lip read. Her mother is also very judgemental about hearing. She gets upset if I cannot hear her and do not have a replacement battery with me. I try not to let it annoy me, but it does. I find I withdraw when this happens and that only makes things worse. Sigh. I feel I will be with my gf for a long time so I better get them turned around soon!!! Because there is no way in hell am I changing for them!!!
 

MyNameIsNO

New Member
hearing people coming and ask me teach them asl. then they excite and ask me asl of swear bad word. THAT IS ALL.. SIGNS FOR BAD WORD THAT THEY WANT KNOW. they not care for make convo with deaf person.
 

Bebonang

Active Member
Hearing people ignored me as I had to asked them to repeat what they had said. Also when I was in elementary or high school, my hearing family don't want to learn ASL as I can talk to them, but not understand why I had trouble not understanding them very well. It is like they expect me to communicate with them all the way even lipreading, not half way with ASL. They don't want to bother learning about Deaf Culture and ASL at all. They would rather have us be like them alllllllll the waaaaay! Geeze. :roll:
 

lovezebras

Active Member
sallylou do you follow voldemort on twitter :p

I also am not ignored I mean I get the occasional hearing trying to OVER help me and make up their own sign language or yell at me but mostly I just get ppl looking at my hearing aids...I do feel somewhat aloof when ALL my family is together because they forget that I can't hear half the time..but everyone I know still makes an effort to include me or help me out for the most part:)
 
I really don't like Xmas eve and day and boxing day cos I have to be with whole family. They just ignore me. Like for example, I was trying to talk to one of them and he didn't answer to me, he act as if I am not there and other came up to talk to him and act as I wasn't there either. I tried but they just won't try with me.

Not nice for me. I always try get away as soon I can to my bedroom or other room to watch TV or laptop or read book.
 

flip

New Member
wonder whats Flip got to say about this?


i , for one, would say, Hearing Culture is fucked up. They never listen to what Deaf Culture has to say, so hence the ignorance.
There's ALOT of education needed....but also the other problem is sign languages and 'cultural studies' still paints a picture that we are some kind of 'interesting' ones...so its never taken seriously...now listen, read in between lines to those linguists says about Sign Langauges...(Write Alex said this before me, he observed right!) and this linguists never actually fight to perserve SL, but only in a sense of the word as "knowledge bases" for THEIR interests, not Deaf interests of us living-hood (if there's a such word)....
I'm guilty of this sometimes when I ask people who is easy to communicate with, leaving out hearies. But at family parties this is dumb and rude. Notice how I even generalise hearin people as not worthy of asking questions. Not proud of that.

Grummer, do you have any threads where you present proof about linguistics?

Btw, has people noticed how audist hearing people go quiet once jillio gets banned? Opinion of deaf people ain't worth a shit to them.
 

deafskeptic

Active Member
Premium Member
It's always hard when I am with my gf family and my CI battery dies. I go completely deaf and her parents are near impossible to lip read. Her mother is also very judgemental about hearing. She gets upset if I cannot hear her and do not have a replacement battery with me. I try not to let it annoy me, but it does. I find I withdraw when this happens and that only makes things worse. Sigh. I feel I will be with my gf for a long time so I better get them turned around soon!!! Because there is no way in hell am I changing for them!!!

My dad is the same way as your gf's mom.. *sigh*
 

yellowwolf

New Member
Hi! I'm new here.

Hearing people ignored me as I had to asked them to repeat what they had said. Also when I was in elementary or high school, my hearing family don't want to learn ASL as I can talk to them, but not understand why I had trouble not understanding them very well. It is like they expect me to communicate with them all the way even lipreading, not half way with ASL. They don't want to bother learning about Deaf Culture and ASL at all. They would rather have us be like them alllllllll the waaaaay! Geeze. :roll:


I had known that I was hoh for a long time, but everyone in my family ignored it. However, when I let them know that my hoh was medically confirmed, they all sounded so supportive. Yet, when things started to worsen and it was becoming very hard to communicate those same family members ignored it. I have tried to embrace my hoh and attempted to learn asl and about deaf culture. I think that it is a really wonderful thing. Why would it be so bad for them to just live with my decision to embrace it. They still ignore my lack of hearing and they make it hard for me to be me.
 

PatsCats

New Member
Wow! Just wow!

As a hearing person, and member of this community, I am knocked over by all this "why can't you understand me" stuff expressed by hearing family members of Deaf people. I have read about it in the Deaf Culture class, and some Deaf people I have met have told me their families never learned to sign.

Why on earth would you not want to learn to communicate with your own child, your own sibling, your own flesh and blood?

I guess it is hard for me to understand because ever since I first saw ASL as a child I have wanted to learn it. I would welcome any opportunity to learn something new, especially if it helped me communicate with a loved one. How else would I know when they were happy or sad, and why?

I cannot blame Deaf people for being very frustrated with hearing people.
 

TXgolfer

Dream Weaver
Premium Member
everyone in my family are hearing, lots of my friends also....do I feel "ignored"...Hell NO!...I make my presence "known" and expect the same considerations from them as I'm considerate of them also. (I do get verbally Loud at times) :lol:

Do I feel somewhat "slighted" in group conversations, such as a party or get-together sometimes? Yes...since it's hard to follow the conversations. So, I'm moreso "one on one", not the same person tho'. Most all my friends and family take the time to make me comfortable, and not left out.....I also take the time to ask my boys (hearing) at home..."what's going on with you today? Ur plans for the weekend?"...etc., etc..."Anything you want to talk about?"

If I felt "ignored" by my family or friends, I'd let it be known to them how I felt....All my boys know ASL...so do 2 of my sisters, not fluently tho'. But enuf to get by....

I'm sure hearing people would feel ignored at an all deaf gathering too! So, it's both ways here. How we deal with it, makes the difference....

Sounds like you and I have very similar ways of dealing with this. :thumb:
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
this ad needs a break from the recycle same old issues over and over that both of the two party will never change who they all are which is OK but provaking with simple words to each other is NOT OK.

that is how it happened to those members being banned. i dont blame all deaf forum itself/administration. in my experience with other forum and the forum died because of provaking. so i can understand why the ad forum needs to cool those members off in order to keep the alldeaf alive besides the opinions that does not concern ALLDEAF forum itself but no provaking or insulting or tactless words.

yes that sucks.
 

VacationGuy234

Active Member
This question has plagued the Deaf community for centuries. Why must we all queue or be the last to conversate with anyone?
I don't understand it. Anyone care to explain?

Moved to Our World, Our Culture
Moderator naisho

Because when you force a sign only agenda nobody will go through that much effort to talk to you. It is the law of human nature that says we do what is easiest and rightly so. Anything that is too difficult is not practical. Laudable yes, but it is the practical that makes a solution.
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
Because when you force a sign only agenda nobody will go through that much effort to talk to you. It is the law of human nature that says we do what is easiest and rightly so. Anything that is too difficult is not practical. Laudable yes, but it is the practical that makes a solution.

Yet mainstreamed deaf kids are forced to put in that much effort to communicate with the hearing. Doesn't matter if it's so difficult, it's impractical most of the time.

This xmas, when I was in the kitchen with a bunch of people all talking and I was completely lost for over an hour, I tapped someone on the shoulder and started signing away. As was to be expected, he looked at me like "uh...I have no idea what you're saying" and everyone turned to look at us. I explained what I signed then said, "guess what? I have no idea what all of you are saying either. Mind filling me in?"

They got the message. hearing people will always need to be reminded, even those who've known you all your life.
 

Babyblue

New Member
Yet mainstreamed deaf kids are forced to put in that much effort to communicate with the hearing. Doesn't matter if it's so difficult, it's impractical most of the time.

This xmas, when I was in the kitchen with a bunch of people all talking and I was completely lost for over an hour, I tapped someone on the shoulder and started signing away. As was to be expected, he looked at me like "uh...I have no idea what you're saying" and everyone turned to look at us. I explained what I signed then said, "guess what? I have no idea what all of you are saying either. Mind filling me in?"

They got the message. hearing people will always need to be reminded, even those who've known you all your life.

Sad but true. It seems that family are the ones that needs to be reminded the most.
 

VacationGuy234

Active Member
Yet mainstreamed deaf kids are forced to put in that much effort to communicate with the hearing. Doesn't matter if it's so difficult, it's impractical most of the time.

This xmas, when I was in the kitchen with a bunch of people all talking and I was completely lost for over an hour, I tapped someone on the shoulder and started signing away. As was to be expected, he looked at me like "uh...I have no idea what you're saying" and everyone turned to look at us. I explained what I signed then said, "guess what? I have no idea what all of you are saying either. Mind filling me in?"

They got the message. hearing people will always need to be reminded, even those who've known you all your life.


Your point is well taken, I go through the same thing, but to solve a broad problem you can't look at it (in the beginning) on a specific level.

I am lucky to have people that fill me in, but to be clear, there is no right to be filled in it, is done out of the goodness that people possess.

IMO, we as a group need to find an answer because nobody else will. And, fighting among ourselves about it is non-conductive. Technology may be the only solution, it's a tower of babel.
 

kokonut

New Member
Your point is well taken, I go through the same thing, but to solve a broad problem you can't look at it (in the beginning) on a specific level.

I am lucky to have people that fill me in, but to be clear, there is no right to be filled in it, is done out of the goodness that people possess.

IMO, we as a group need to find an answer because nobody else will. And, fighting among ourselves about it is non-conductive. Technology may be the only solution, it's a tower of babel.

I believe strongly that technology remains to the best solution there is to address a whole range of communication access issues. In a personal setting there is always a face-to-face communication technology solution/option rather than the inefficient pen and paper standby.
 
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