What Would You Say To Your Parents Today?

warneri

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Hey y'all. Some of you might have met me around the boards already, I am a hearing mother of 1 very special deaf girl, and 3 other equally amazing girls. I like to come here and get tips, insight, and perspective to better understand and help my daughter learn. We are an ASL speaking family who are always trying to improve. I've been signing with Lizzie since she was diagnosed at 11 months old, and my fiancee and his children have been signing since they met us in 2009.

But anyway, enough of that. I was working on an art project about deafness and the relationships between deaf children and hearing parents. My hope is that with the project I will be able to spread awareness a little bit better to how important it is for hearing parents to learn ASL, not only to communicate with their children but also show them the support and love they deserve. I've seen the effects of not signing firsthand, as my daughters biological father didn't start learning until she was 7 years old...and I've gotta say, the girl doesn't have a lot of love or respect for that man. And in all honesty, that's kind of what these parents need to see and realize. I want to know, in all honesty, if you had no fear of hurting your parents (and provided your a deaf individual who had hearing parents) what would you say to them? Did they learn sign for you?

I'm sorry if this brings up any hurt feelings, I've known several individuals whom this was a very sensitive subject for and others who regarded it as something casual and unavoidable. However it makes you feel, I appreciate your sharing, and it could help make a difference in the future of another deaf child for you to share those feelings; Good, bad, and ugly.

So tell me, what would you say to your hearing parent, if you could say anything? :hmm:
 
"You were a much better signer than I was. I wouldn't have cared if you signed or not, if you had just been kind and supportive to me. Deaf people have always been nicer and more encouraging. At least my adulthood is not the hell you made my childhood."
 
Thank you so much for your contribution. I will do my best to honor all perspectives and feelings in this art project.
 
I say much same to my mother bot but deafness at time was not issue.when I finely went deaf the woman moved.words like b1tch was one way of describing my mother.the op seems good mum shame women of our geneneration were not so kind or understanding
 
All I know is that my parents have always been there for me and allowed me to be who i am, and allowed me to be interacted with other Deaf peers. My mom learned sign language (a form of ASL but PSE) from the CODA mother when I was a kid. My dad does have a hard time learning sign langauge. Mostly of times, he does body language to communicate with me. He had no problem at teaching me how to play softball or around the houses. I suspected why he had a hard time learning sign langague. His first language was italian language and second English. He didnt have enough with education due to a large number of kids (11 kids), but excellent with handy. We all know already where we stand, and have a good relationship. SAD that they lives in the other state that i dont see them enough.
 
No parents to "thank"...and as for my siblings Only 1 out of 6 knew a little of the alphabet.....No wonder I remained an "oral deafie"....
 
You were lucky ff

yes. I had a good childhood. Sometimes I wonder if i was forced to learn how to speak. Will I speak well at a later date? no idea. I was a pretty rebellious kid when it comes to speech therpy. I fought with the speech therapist like I told speech therapist that she had horrible bad breaths or hurt me in physcial or didnt make any effort on purposes. Uh oh.. My mom was so embarrassed when I did that. LOL oh well.. so i dont speak well. Life goes ON! hahah
 
Thank you all for sharing your various experiences. Thank you FF for sharing some positive experiences as well! It takes all kinds to understand, and I appreciate both sides of the fence to show other parents why learning ASL is so important. I thank you all for your time and energy! :)
 
My daughter was the same way in speech therapy - she really resisted and fought it and I finally got tired of pushing. I never wanted to implant her in the first place and when she finally got kicked out for the 3rd and final time I'd had enough pushing her to be someone she wasn't. If she tries it again later in life, great. If she doesn't, great. Whatever makes her happy and comfortable. :) And yes, as a mum it can be embarassing when a child acts up, but that's their way of telling us something they can't fully express yet. After years of uphill battles I realized my daughter was trying to tell me she was perfectly happy being deaf and using sign language with little to no interest in hearing devices, and that's perfectly okay. :)
 
Warneri, From my experience, I encourage you to make sure that your kid read the books. If your kid dont like reading the book then find something neat stories or varied of articles on the internet to allow kid to explore and will learn how to read BETTER. Hope it ll lead this kid to writing better.

I am aware that I didnt write very well before the internet exists. Once the internet exists, i started to dive into the online/internet by reading for many and varied of information. I am more comforatble for writing now which is better than none. Remind you that I am in late 40s. :) I guess I took the genes after my dad's.
 
My daughter was the same way in speech therapy - she really resisted and fought it and I finally got tired of pushing. I never wanted to implant her in the first place and when she finally got kicked out for the 3rd and final time I'd had enough pushing her to be someone she wasn't. If she tries it again later in life, great. If she doesn't, great. Whatever makes her happy and comfortable. :) And yes, as a mum it can be embarassing when a child acts up, but that's their way of telling us something they can't fully express yet. After years of uphill battles I realized my daughter was trying to tell me she was perfectly happy being deaf and using sign language with little to no interest in hearing devices, and that's perfectly okay. :)

Oh, I understand where you are coming from. How old is she? I did read your blog but i forget where does she go to school? The key is to have a lot of patience by making her to read a lot! No matter what if she resists to read then find something good to read. Dont give up on reading. Please.
 
Oh, I understand where you are coming from. How old is she? I did read your blog but i forget where does she go to school? The key is to have a lot of patience by making her to read a lot! No matter what if she resists to read then find something good to read. Dont give up on reading. Please.

When I went to college I was given a vocabulary test and I tested at eleven grade level and I said to my teacher that is really bad . I was told that it was very good for someone HOH that had a poor education . I did a lot of reading as child and teenager . I was in the reject class so we did not have to do book reports like the students in regular class . I read just about all of John Steinbeck as a teenager. I agree with you reading is so importance . And I am so happy you had good childhood as you know I did not . I feel better knowing other people did enjoy being a child.

I would ask my parents why didn't they send me to the school for deaf and hoh students in Boston when they found out I was hoh at 8 yo . Why they could didn't it through their thick heads that something was wrong when I could not hear them calling me for 8 years.
 
My spelling and vocabulary were at college level when I was in middle school because of my mother. She refused to simplify the conversation when she interpreted for me. She spelled out the big words. I am grateful for that.
 
Oh, I understand where you are coming from. How old is she? I did read your blog but i forget where does she go to school? The key is to have a lot of patience by making her to read a lot! No matter what if she resists to read then find something good to read. Dont give up on reading. Please.

Can you please give me a link to her blog? Thanks in advance!
 
My spelling and vocabulary were at college level when I was in middle school because of my mother. She refused to simplify the conversation when she interpreted for me. She spelled out the big words. I am grateful for that.

My mother did not read books to us at bed time , I read them to myself. Mom was feeling so guilty about not being able to stop dad from abusing me that she just left me on my own . I would love to had asked my dad why he kept telling people that horrible joke about a farmer having a jackass that he send all over the world and it came home a jackass, then dad would say that is 'me' , I am the jackass! I guess I would tell my dad to 'F' off if he was alive today !
 
Oh, I understand where you are coming from. How old is she? I did read your blog but i forget where does she go to school? The key is to have a lot of patience by making her to read a lot! No matter what if she resists to read then find something good to read. Dont give up on reading. Please.

She goes to Phoenix Day School for the Deaf, she'll be turning 10 this summer! :) Patience is something I've had to learn as Lizzie's mom, and that's not a deaf thing, that's just a lizzie thing lol. She's as stubborn as her mother! ;)

Haha, that being said...academics are not optional, conformity is. ;)
 
My spelling and vocabulary were at college level when I was in middle school because of my mother. She refused to simplify the conversation when she interpreted for me. She spelled out the big words. I am grateful for that.


Good for her, that's amazing! Yours will be a ray of sunshine in the project and a testament to other parents how valuable communication is between parent and child. Thank you for sharing! :)
 
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