What to say if a hearing person says that somebody is faking deafness?

MarieK1983

Member
I have had this happen to me, i don't like it, People say "Youre deaf? No you cant be, you speak too well to be deaf!"
 

Some guy

Member
Deafness is one of those disabilities that people cannot see. So yes, they sometimes say stupid things. But, be patient, keep your own composure (integrity) and just tell them "Yes, I have been deaf/HOH since (whenever)...And it is something that people cannot see."..... And then tell them about some obstacles(s) you typically encounter.

Don't let it bother you.
 

jprdo22

JP De Oliveira
I have had this happen to me, i don't like it, People say "Youre deaf? No you cant be, you speak too well to be deaf!"
At the pharmacy, the other day it happened to me. I really struggle understanding people if they don’t look at me. She was also wearing a mask and then she started speaking about me to her colleague. Her body language was very obvious. It was the weirdest thing.
 
Deafness is one of those disabilities that people cannot see.
I'm hearing with an 11-year old Deaf son. One of my favorites is when somebody asks him something, and I immediately interpret it for him. People are sometimes startled and will say, "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know he was deaf!" I usually say, "Why are you sorry?" and then watch them squirm as they try to come up with an inoffensive answer.
 

peekaboo

Well-Known Member
here is what i get when they know I am wearing a hearing aid. Oh, I didn't know you wear a hearing aid, or I didn't realize people who are deaf can speak so well. Uhhhhrmmm... doh, lol! (sarcasm) then they ask me if I can read lips? When they speak they don't make any sounds. THAT gets on my nerves. And... they pretend they know sign language and or say they have a friend that is deaf, its like they need to feel " fit in" to make themselves like they are part of the deaf world. Peopel who can HEAR do not and can not truly understand the frustrations we all go through. *sighs*:(
 

Ericka

Active Member
I had my neice say when she found out i needed to use my hearing aid one day when we were all talking "why do you have one? Those are for old people" color me suprised and at a loss for words.
 

toffeekukki

Active Member
In my experience, up until 2 years ago i was a 'hearing person' now i find myself in the Deaf world, i had nothing to do with 'deaf culture' as i was very ignorant to 'deaf people' i find i still say the wrong things. But it can be a very steep learning curve, don't hide deafness away. Make it known. Be yourself and talk about it. I have had a hard lesson to learn and i still have a lot to learn. Hearing people are ignorant not because of the 'deaf person' but because it is not seen as normal. I had to watch a lot of what to say to a 'deaf' person or how to speak with interpreter. In schools it is ignored or you are taken away from other students and separated away. I had this with my school, all 'differently able' persons are kept away. Even in college i found that students with downs syndrome where in a complete separated building and canteen from the main college. I never thought anything about it at the time and did not question to why they did this. But now i have learned it is to stop 'normal' kids/students bullying the 'Differently abled'. I have tried to look into this since i found out that i do have hearing problems and in my findings i am allowed to go to college to learn 'british sign language' (bsl) but if i needed an interpreter i would have a smaller class at a different location to the main college (in my local area) in a big city this does not seem to be the case unless you pay for private tutoring.
Thank your for bringing up this topic and i would appreciate any advice for speaking with other deaf people as i am going to start going to my local deaf community once i get my new HA on the 15th of this month. I am a fully verbal and i do not know sign language.
I hope i have used the correct terms for i am still learning about (hoh, deaf, Deaf) i and i am concerned that i don't know the correct term for (disability issues)
 

SneakerNet

Retired
Premium Member
I had this problem before because I speak so well. As you know that I used to live in England and many people keep asking me where I'm from? When I had that first time asked me, I paused for a minute because I'm not sure if it's because of my deafness or is it because I have British accent... my response was.... I'm from Mars! The other time I responded, It's my proud mother who taught me to speak. Then later I changed to "Do you mean a person born with no legs dance beautiful?" But of course I explained to them about deafness but it allowed to give him/her in another perspective about disabilities can do beautiful things.
 

Some guy

Member
here is what i get when they know I am wearing a hearing aid. Oh, I didn't know you wear a hearing aid, or I didn't realize people who are deaf can speak so well. Uhhhhrmmm... doh, lol! (sarcasm) then they ask me if I can read lips? When they speak they don't make any sounds. THAT gets on my nerves. And... they pretend they know sign language and or say they have a friend that is deaf, its like they need to feel " fit in" to make themselves like they are part of the deaf world. Peopel who can HEAR do not and can not truly understand the frustrations we all go through. *sighs*:(
The question about "reading lips' and the soundless mouth movements get me pissed..

I have been deaf for nearly 40 years...I never met anyone that truly reads lips....I never even met anyone that demonstrated reading lips..Do these people exist?

I have been to Audiologists, ENTs, I went through numerous surgeries...No medical professional ever indicated to me "Oh yeah, I have a patient that reads lips"..

I hear this stuff about the FBI has lip readers...Really... I never read about them testifying in court (?).

I saw a link here somewhere from which I downloaded a sheet of common lip movements for various letter combinations...But all of them seemed too similar to so many others..So, I do not see how lip reading is REALLY possible.

So I guess next time someone asks us if we read lips we should say "Oh yeah, but only in the daylight"..."Only
on sunny days"..."Only for money"..." As a matter of fact I do, and I know everything you're saying"",,,And maybe a few other choice responses...
**(I edited this, as the original was not so appropriate)
 
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Tetracyclone

Active Member
The question about "reading lips' and the soundless mouth movements get me pissed..

I have been deaf for nearly 40 years...I never met anyone that truly reads lips....I never even met anyone that demonstrated reading lips..Do these people exist?

So I guess next time someone asks us if we read lips we should say "Oh yeah, but only in the daylight"..."Only
on sunny days"..."Only for money"..." As a matter of fact I do, and I know everything you're saying"",,,And maybe a few other choice responses...
**(I edited this, as the original was not so appropriate)
I certainly use visual cues to improve my comprehension. I know I cannot understand anything if I cannot see a person's face, and yet I also cannot understand if I only see, but do not hear anything.

How about this reply to "Do you read lips?"

"Only if they are tattooed."
 
The question about "reading lips' and the soundless mouth movements get me pissed..

I have been deaf for nearly 40 years...I never met anyone that truly reads lips....I never even met anyone that demonstrated reading lips..Do these people exist?

I have been to Audiologists, ENTs, I went through numerous surgeries...No medical professional ever indicated to me "Oh yeah, I have a patient that reads lips"..

I hear this stuff about the FBI has lip readers...Really... I never read about them testifying in court (?).

I saw a link here somewhere from which I downloaded a sheet of common lip movements for various letter combinations...But all of them seemed too similar to so many others..So, I do not see how lip reading is REALLY possible.

So I guess next time someone asks us if we read lips we should say "Oh yeah, but only in the daylight"..."Only
on sunny days"..."Only for money"..." As a matter of fact I do, and I know everything you're saying"",,,And maybe a few other choice responses...
**(I edited this, as the original was not so appropriate)
I've heard that even the very best "lip readers" can only achieve 40% accuracy and that it should be called "lip guessing" instead.
 
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