what has standing up for gays cost you?

[August]

my best friend throughout elementary, middle and most of high school told me he hated one of his teachers only because he was gay.

i told him never to call me again and haven't spoken with him since (about 4 years now). then he immediately called some of our mutual friends from school and told them i said i was gay (which i didn't, and am not).

then in high school, this fundamentalist Christian cunt wrote in to the school paper saying that gays were diseased, disobeying God and would cause the extinction of the human race. i replied to her letter in the following issue, essentially calling her a complete moron and refuting all her dubious claims with (gasp!) logic and actual numeric data. but i didn't feel the need to say, "by the way, i'm not gay," because i thought it would defeat my argument a bit. maybe i should have. of course, from then on everyone assumed i was gay.

it may just be because i'm a disagreeable prick, but i graduated high school with like 2 friends. i think the letter had something to do with it.

i'm not even a gay rights activist or anything, i just can't keep my mouth shut when people rant and rave with their stupid bullshit.

has anyone, gay or not, taken flack for defending gays?

 

[Phillips]

Never happen to me.. However, I knew a lady *drunk*did try kiss or all over me and chased or follow me on New year Party.

Gossip that I am against or hateful gay or lesbian and other I am become lesbian .... I told them Jeez... I knew a lady who was so drunk and didn't mean it also she just drooled and want me but They were laughs and believe me as a very straight lady! :roll:


At Party.. she bothers me all night.. until she get worse drunk then I took her to inside the clothes closet, and she passed out! Then next day She called me the tty phone and apology

 

[August]

you should have knocked her the hell out. gay or straight, attempted rape is not cool.

 

[Phillips]

you should have knocked her the hell out. gay or straight, attempted rape is not cool.

Yeah but I knew who she is! she's funny she was not kinda hurt me that night!

 

[jillio]

Standing up for gays and lesbians hasn't cost me any thing that held any importance for me to start with (namely the distain of the bigoted, the self righteous, and the narrowminded.) It has however, gained me several good friendships that I treasure.

 

[Byrdie714]

Standing up for gays and lesbians hasn't cost me any thing that held any importance for me to start with (namely the distain of the bigoted, the self righteous, and the narrowminded.) It has however, gained me several good friendships that I treasure.

 

[kipourgos]

it may just be because i'm a disagreeable prick, but i graduated high school with like 2 friends.

I bet they were real friends though. I think every gay person has to make these kind of decisions - "do I have lots of friends and hide myself or do I risk losing 'friends' and be myself?" You find out who your real friends are.

Of course there are ways to respond and ways not to. Maybe with the first friend, instead of just cutting the friendship off and telling him not to talk with you, you could have tried to reason with him. People learn this stuff, they can unlearn it too. Some people don't even really believe it; they just repeat the words until they feel like their own. (Oscar Wilde said most people don't really think their own thoughts...) My father used to go on a rant about gays "recruiting" straight kids and what he would do if one of them ever touched his kids - without knowing I was gay of course. If he did know at the time, I'm sure he wouldn't have said it. Especially since he had very close gay friends as well, and there is pretty good evidence that he may have "partaken of that forbidden fruit" himself. :P

I'm sure that gay or straight, we can do more to improve the overall situation by dialogue when it's possible, than just anger and indignation. Still, thanks for standing up for what you know is right!

 

[August]

I bet they were real friends though. I think every gay person has to make these kind of decisions - "do I have lots of friends and hide myself or do I risk losing 'friends' and be myself?" You find out who your real friends are.

Of course there are ways to respond and ways not to. Maybe with the first friend, instead of just cutting the friendship off and telling him not to talk with you, you could have tried to reason with him. People learn this stuff, they can unlearn it too. Some people don't even really believe it; they just repeat the words until they feel like their own. (Oscar Wilde said most people don't really think their own thoughts...) My father used to go on a rant about gays "recruiting" straight kids and what he would do if one of them ever touched his kids - without knowing I was gay of course. If he did know at the time, I'm sure he wouldn't have said it. Especially since he had very close gay friends as well, and there is pretty good evidence that he may have "partaken of that forbidden fruit" himself. :P

I'm sure that gay or straight, we can do more to improve the overall situation by dialogue when it's possible, than just anger and indignation. Still, thanks for standing up for what you know is right!

i could have tried to reason with him, but he'd been taught all that from his father since he was born. it's not worth spending so much time and energy trying to convert a born-and-raised dumbass. and it's not just how he feels about homosexuals. people who are that judgmental and irrational in one aspect of their life also apply that to everything. for example, you'll never find someone who hates gays but is also a vegetarian and environmental activist.

and as i mentioned, he immediately terminated all contact and shifted into Shit-Talking Phase after we were done, as if 8 years of close friendship were nothing more than a piece of gum stuck to his shoe. and even if i'd tried to explain the flaws in his beliefs, he still would have assumed it was all because i was a closet homo. why should i waste my time?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I never have problem with gay/lesbians people... We each other the same thing as I also a straight guy as friend. *shrug*

 

[bluesouth]

I never have problem with gay/lesbians people... We each other the same thing as I also a straight guy as friend. *shrug*

Do not hate any gay and lesbian . I have few gay/lesbian friends .. Please read John 3:16-21 . I am not lesbian . I pray all gay and lesbian that he or she will open him / her self to God , that he or she will walk with Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven . God bless . Remember God is only judge on all people in the world. God created man and woman in one but not two . Satan created
homesexual , murder , divorce , unfriend , gossip , etc etc . please be friend and share with love .. sniffng me more , i have spoiled chihuahua
smile have a nice day !!!!!

 

[Liza]

Joanie, you were doing so good until you made the flippant remark about Satan creating homosexuality in THIS thread of all places. I think if there is a God, She would have created homosexuality in addition to all the things that make us human.

Kip, I think you have a point about giving people opportunities of change. How do you tell people that homophobia is unacceptable?

August, sorry that you had a bad experience in high school because of ignorance and asshats. You seem pretty confident to not have a need to reaffirm your sexual orientation. Yep it has also been my observation that homophobic peeps seem to take an unenlightened approach to other aspects in life. I find a straight guy who is very accepting of homosexuality to be really interesting and he is someone I would like to know better.

Um, when I was 17 I have stood up to my dad when he called his gay brother 'sick' in the head. He was only speechless and we didn't talk more about it after that. I have very dear pals who happen to be gay and I won't have them experiencing idiocy in my own house. I have openly stuck with my good friend like a good fag hag throughout HS especially when he came out of the closet, and have gotten the cold shoulder from peeps. He hadn't the easiest time during HS, and getting a cold shoulder is nothing compared to what he went through. More people are accepting nowadays, and I would hope more areas reflect this.

 

[Secretblend]

I agree with Joanie. It is not natural.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Do not hate any gay and lesbian . I have few gay/lesbian friends .. Please read John 3:16-21 . I am not lesbian .

I do not hate gay and lesbian. I am not lesbian. I have many gay & lesbian friends. I said that I have no problem to gay/lesbian as the same as they me.. What's your point?

I pray all gay and lesbian that he or she will open him / her self to God , that he or she will walk with Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven . God bless . Remember God is only judge on all people in the world. God created man and woman in one but not two . Satan created
homesexual , murder , divorce , unfriend , gossip , etc etc . please be friend and share with love .. sniffng me more , i have spoiled chihuahua
smile have a nice day !!!!!

I respect you and your belief but I also respect gay & lesbian, too. I accept you and them what you and they are... We all are human being.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I agree with Joanie. It is not natural.

Why?

 

[Secretblend]

Why?

You won't understand why cause you don't believe in God and the Bible.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You won't understand why cause you don't believe in God and the Bible.

I only ASK you in manner way why because you said that gay/lesbian are not natural.

 

[Byrdie714]

I agree with Joanie. It is not natural.

Ain't Queers and Steers from Texas?

 

[Jiro]

Do not hate any gay and lesbian . I have few gay/lesbian friends .. Please read John 3:16-21 . I am not lesbian . I pray all gay and lesbian that he or she will open him / her self to God , that he or she will walk with Jesus in the Kingdom of Heaven . God bless . Remember God is only judge on all people in the world. God created man and woman in one but not two . Satan created
homesexual , murder , divorce , unfriend , gossip , etc etc . please be friend and share with love .. sniffng me more , i have spoiled chihuahua
smile have a nice day !!!!!

I agree with Joanie. It is not natural.

You won't understand why cause you don't believe in God and the Bible.

I'll post what my journalist friend wrote - click

The reasons I hear people give for opposing gay marriage are usually prefaced by telling me how many gay friends they have. Even though everyone has a different way of phrasing it, their reasoning usually boils down to some version of "I think marriage is an institution we should protect."

Protect. That's an interesting choice of words. Merriam-Webster defines it as "to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction." The gay people in this country who want to get married... want to get married! Their engagement in the act of marriage by definition is promoting it, not damaging it. People are getting married less compared to couples a generation ago, and they're doing it later in life. If I had a crush on marriage like so many Americans seem to, I'd want as many people doing it as possible.

Many people will cite a vaguely religious objection to gay marriage. Yes, it's true in the Book of Leviticus, homosexuality is condemned, but it's also in the Bible that you are not allowed to be near a menstruating woman. Why follow one aspect of the very same chapter to the letter, and callously ignore another?

People also cling to this notion of "tradition" in man-woman marriage. As if hetero marriage in America really is a pure, sacred, unchanged ritual. We're the nation that celebrates the divorce rate dropping to a mere 36%, we're the nation that thinks its cute when Britney Spears marries and divorces her pal in 2 days for a lark. Watch daytime television and count the divorce lawyer advertisements. Use a big pad.

Marriage isn't really "sacred," that's just a red herring. Being anti-gay is for some reason accepted as a kind of politically correct bigotry. Someone in 2008 who voices their disagreement with multi-racial couples marrying is labeled a racist in many circles. Say you're opposed to gays getting married, and it's an opinion.

Based on experience, most people who vocally oppose gay marriage are insecure, or poorly informed, or both. They might be miserable in their own marriage, they might feel threatened by the concept of homosexuality which they cannot wrap their brain around.

Gays are often stereotyped as over-sexed, and promiscuous. Marriage promotes monogamy, so what's the problem? The truth is most cases against gay marriage crumble under even slight scrutiny. The next time you hear someone spout the usual anti-gay recitation, ask them to elaborate. Keep pressing them for detail. Time and again you will find people who oppose gay marriage pronounce their feelings more loudly than deeply.

 

[Foxrac]

Most people who raised by conservative families are just more difficult to accept GLBT, especially on numerous teenagers who are in activity of strict religion, such as baptist, however some people did tolerate toward to them.

For me, being hate or calling not natural aren't okay because you are attack on their personal choice, even you don't support GLBT due religion reason need be knock it out and being believe in yourself, not bother to tell them, however it won't work if you did tell them, it getting more worse.

 

[kipourgos]

and as i mentioned, he immediately terminated all contact and shifted into Shit-Talking Phase after we were done, as if 8 years of close friendship were nothing more than a piece of gum stuck to his shoe. and even if i'd tried to explain the flaws in his beliefs, he still would have assumed it was all because i was a closet homo. why should i waste my time?

True enough, there is no point in trying to argue with someone with the "my mind's made up, don't confuse me with facts" attitude! I probably misinterpreted your post, it just seemed very abrupt. Sometimes people really surprise me - the people who seem would be accepting end up distancing themselves and people I'd expect to be completely rejecting turn out to have little problem. One friend who used words like "faggot" all the time apologized after he knew me; he had said them thoughtlessly because "everyone did," and even went so far as to tell his (even more traditional) older brother about me so that he wouldn't use them and hurt me. The older brother did have a problem...for about a week. Then it struck him, "what's it to me if Bob goes to bed with women or not?"