What do you do when hearing family comes over?

LindaBob

New Member
I have a BIG family. Typical to have 20+ here for dinner.

When my hearing family/friends come over, or I visit with them wherever, I find that I just sit and wait for it to be over. My husband tries to terp for me but he's not yet good enough to keep up (so we give up). For the most part, when we are at my house I just cook and wash up (I like that and it keeps me busy). When we are elsewhere, I just wait, and hope no one tries to talk to me - because it's an exercise in frustration (both ways) and not worth whatever silly little tidbit they are trying to communicate.

I suppose I could turn on the HAs and get 1 word in 10 but why?

What do the rest of you do?
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
One on one is a good option...trying to listen and understand 20 people...impossible. Perhaps sit by ur husband even tho' he isn't fluent...he still can let you know what's going on (if it's important)...If you still feel "left out"...then read a book or something, watch TV....

And you know...we deafies cannot be blamed for our not being able to hear..and surely the hearies can't be blamed either...find a middle ground.
 

LindaBob

New Member
For sure. I love them and they love me. I just love them MORE when it's one on one :) in giant "clumps" it's kinda unworkable isn't it?
It's mostly my husband family. They are fabulous. They just don't always know how to deal with me when they are all caught up in a rip-roaring conversation or board game.
It's fine but I was just wondering how other people try to fit in better.
 
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Stakie

New Member
Honestly, my family does not come see me. (Thank goodness) I go to see them. Usually when I do I am yelling at my mom the whole time because I KNOW she is yelling from the other room for me or talking to me. (Because that is what she use to do when I was a kid) MOM I CAN NOT HEAR YOU! COME HERE AND TALK TO ME! As for the rest of my family, I didn't talk much to them when I COULD hear them, so I guess I have an advantage. It's normal for me to avoid all human contact with them... even when I am in their house. Haha.
 

Angel1989

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Large groups or noisy places just don't work for me. I ask what the topic is and if I am interested I might make more of an effort. I do more one on one and if that doesn't work I just play with my goddaughter. Some tricks we use are white board with markers and the Dragon dictation app on my cel phone.
 

femme Fatale

Official AD Nutcracker
Host a family of unpredictable personalities? Are you kidding? LOL no, they visit me on an individual or two basis, but for the larger nosey crowd, don't call me, I'll call you! :crazy:
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
One on one is a good option...trying to listen and understand 20 people...impossible. Perhaps sit by ur husband even tho' he isn't fluent...he still can let you know what's going on (if it's important)...If you still feel "left out"...then read a book or something, watch TV....

And you know...we deafies cannot be blamed for our not being able to hear..and surely the hearies can't be blamed either...find a middle ground.

the middle ground is... to make it more accessible for a deaf person just like what this entire family I met did for this one girl with special needs.
 

dereksbicycles

Active Member
With my ex girlfriend whose family were all hearing, we ended up playing Super Mario Karts on Wii after dinner. IT was great. Not much talking and a lot of race driving!! Can you say that I got my turbo kick out of this???
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
I interact one on one with people.

In family gatherings now I spend a lot of time with my oldest granddaughter, aged 6. She is thinking up innovative ways to revolutionize ASL. We debate how usable her ideas would be in everyday use.

Maybe just picking one person you think is fun, and focusing on them could help you not feel left out.
 

Angel1989

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I interact one on one with people.

In family gatherings now I spend a lot of time with my oldest granddaughter, aged 6. She is thinking up innovative ways to revolutionize ASL. We debate how usable her ideas would be in everyday use.

Maybe just picking one person you think is fun, and focusing on them could help you not feel left out.

My goddaughter just turned one and she is already learning some signs. Any time I have with her I try to teach her new words. She is the only one who has shown an interest so I'm going for it.:giggle:
 

LindaBob

New Member
I interact one on one with people.

In family gatherings now I spend a lot of time with my oldest granddaughter, aged 6. She is thinking up innovative ways to revolutionize ASL. We debate how usable her ideas would be in everyday use.

Maybe just picking one person you think is fun, and focusing on them could help you not feel left out.

Ya, thanks.that's a good idea. I just discovered that little kids like sign :). I will stick to one on one.

Always learning new stuff!
 

VacationGuy234

Active Member
yes, late deaf so trying to work out what's best. Just wondering what most people do that works.

You'll notice in large gatherings people break off into smaller ones(when it is not a dinner setting, before and after food is served). These smaller groups form and disperse because there are so many people. Approach the small groups or individual people you want to talk to. You may have to lead the conversation because you can't just randomly step into an existing conversation. Talk one on one with people and be the initiator of that conversation so you know were it is going. Talk about something specific not just general conversation.

If you take the attitude you want to approach a large group like you did when you can hear, you are going to get frustrated. You can't approach things like that anymore.

If you have an FM system or microphone, use it.

Also, understand talking isn't the main point of the get together. It's to be with the people in your life. It is kind of like just being in a movie theater for the fact of watching a movie with other people(you may not hear everything, but you enjoy the environment). You're going to be eating and drinking with your group and that's important.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Usually, i go for one on one or two or three it depends what issues are all about. My siblings know some ASL and sometimes the take over to interpret for me when i did not ask them to. my mom knows some ASL. My dad knows tooo little ASL. I have young nieces and nephews to chat with, from age 21 to 10. Some fo them know ASL. so thats why i said, some of them take over and interpret for me when i dont ask for it. My cousins or aunts or uncles dont know really know much ASL but excellent at gestures.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
The price of straying out of Deaf World :(

So you think the OP should not see her family anymore ?? If everyone felt this way a lot us would not be here because I am sure there people here that have parents , grandparents or great-grandparents that stray out their country and met their spouses in USA
 
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