Understanding in surprising places...

RachelRene

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We end up talking a lot about facing ignorance and misunderstanding, everywhere we go... the grocery store, restaurants, doctor's offices... with strangers, old friends, classmates, partners, our families... How many times do we say "Why don't they understand?"

I have expressed my share of frustration, which is why I wanted to take the time to share this little bit of understanding that I received today. It's my way of having some gratitude, as well as to point out that hearing people are not *always* clueless (which I know, most of us don't say that anyway...).

I was talking with an old friend of mine today on chat, after not speaking with her for a long time. We've just been busy, and I haven't seen her in years. I told her about my audiologist appointment yesterday, and how my hearing has dropped again (100 db both ears), and how my speech recognition scores are dropping rapidly too. My hearing aids are maxed out (they actually were when I got them), and I can't afford new ones.

She goes (direct quote here), "Can I ask you a question, and you can tell me if I'm just a giant arse? Would it be so bad to not get new hearing aids and just sign all the time? Not "just," you know what I mean... Just, you know, be deaf now?"

She went on to say that she would be totally supportive of me just embracing who I am, instead of working hard to fit in to this hearing model, this what people think I should be.

I wanted to hug her. Here's this person who... has no contact with the Deaf community, and lives very much in the hearing world... and I have been worried, actually, about seeing her face to face again, because of how much my communication needs have changed... and she is the first hearing person who did not express pity and apologies about my hearing loss, and didn't immediately ask me why I can't get that surgery to fix myself.

It's amazing what a little acceptance can do for a person's day. :ty:
 

RachelRene

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Lol, thanks DeafCaroline.

And she would love to know she's popular :) Honestly, *I'd* love to meet her for a cup of coffee. I haven't seen her in a long time, and miss her.
 

Buffalo

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She is a true friend as she is so supportive of you! Keep her as she is a gem!
 

sallylou

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What a great friend! I have an extended family member who has been supportive (in addition to my spouse). It always makes my day to have just a little encouragement. :)
 
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